Second Leg Champions League Thread: Liverpool-Porto / PSG-RealMadrid

Don T

Don T

Poor choices, mixed results.
¡Viva Puerto Rico Libre!
Titans4Eva
Don T

Such was the welcome given in Paris to Real Madrid, by ultras of their opponent: Paris Saint-Germain. Their name is Collectif ultra Paris, which is not a watch co-operative, but angries who break out the flares and shout “Puta Madrid!” over and over and over. They’ll be at the stadium: PSG needs all the help it can get.

I love the “home-away” format of the knockout rounds of the Champions League. Both teams play each other twice, and the team with most goals, on aggregate, passes to the next round. If both finish with the same amount of goals, then the team with more away goals passes.

The second legs of the first round start today. For these games, if at the end of regulation teams are tied on aggregate goals, and away goals, then two overtime periods of 15 minutes each are played. If still tied, it goes to penalties. And I admit it: I love, LOVE penalty shootouts. None today, tho.

Liverpool (United Kingdom) vs. Porto (Portugal)

(Aggregate: LIV 5 – 0 POR)

1:45 PM Central

How can Porto advance?

Lfc GIF by Liverpool FC - Find & Share on GIPHY

In seven games in the Champions League, Liverpool has no defeats and 28 goals scored. “Womp fucking womp” you say, pointing out the scoring inflation in 7-0 wins against Spartak Moscow and at Slovenian champion NK Maribor. Well, Porto’s no pushover, and the 5-0 in Lisbon was both a thorough ass-kicking by the Reds and a sorry display of Portuguese goaltending.

As Porto needs to score at least five at Anfield, today’s game features an all-timer in Ceremonial Sporting Starts: Íker Casillas at goal for Porto. Remember Casillas? You know, this guy:

Iker Casillas GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY

In his San Íker heyday, Casillas was the captain of Spain during that 2008 to 2012 Euro – World Cup – Euro championship sandwich. Then Spain was eliminated in the [snicker] first round of [LOL] the 2014 World C😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂😘😂🤣😂…

OK, sorry. Casillas signed with Real Madrid when he was 9 years old, and won five Ligas and three Champions Leagues. Then he was dumped after 25 years with the team and signed with Porto on 2015 until 2018. Yeah, Porto said this is Casillas’s last season with the club, and this would be his 11th start for them this season. Yet, Casillas would reach retirement with his head held high with a decent outing; otherwise, he’ll get the inevitable New York City FC contract.

Prediction: Liverpool 2 – 2 Porto (LIV passes on 7 -2 aggregate).

 

Balls: I would love for Porto to get a little semblance of pride and score a goal,  but I don’t think that will happen.  Liverpool at home is to much for the Portuguese too overcome.

PREDICTION: Call it a 2-0 graceful home team win with a lot of reserves playing.

 

Hippo: After that sorry-assed first leg, I find it hard to believe Porto could trouble the Redshite’s U20 side.  Assuming they have one.  Fuck, I don’t like how this March is heading.

PREDICTION: Sleepwalking 3-1 home win (8-1 RS aggregate).

 

Litre_cola: Well I don’t know what to say here as the Reds demolished the Portuguese last fixture. There really is no surmounting a 5-0 lead. PROVE ME WRONG PORTO, PROVE ME WRONG! RumoUr is that Casillas is playing which is something. Maybe we will get pics of his wife who as we mentioned earlier is an absolute smokeshow. Muy Caliente! (I can’t Spanish) I don’t hate the Reds like some I just dislike all of my friends who are Pool supporters because they still live in the past of their glory days and that Champions League Final against AC Milan which was painful to have to deal with the next day.

PredictioUn: Liverpool 1 Porto 2 in a shocking upset that means nothing.
 ***

Paris Saint Germain (France) vs. Real Madrid (Hell)

(Aggregate: PSG 1 – 3 RM)

1:45 PM Central

The first game, in Madriz, was maddening. PSG dominated the first 70 minutes easily, but had some unlucky breaks. But Jesus Christ, Neymar: the guy’s a crack, but he was intent on playing to win with dribbling—not passing. In fútbol, having a star go Full-Allen-Iverson can work well, unless there are teammates of appreciable talent. And PSG has talent; it’s a shame that Mbappé and URUGUAYAN EDINSON CAVANI were not more involved.

For this game, Neymar is out; he injured his foot, underwent an operation, and most likely will remain in rehab until the World Cup.

Neymar in pre-op

This has pumped the PSG players. According to Spain’s El País, the PSG locker room had “notes of pestilence” all throughout the season. (Them El País folks like their sports flowery.) Now that Neymar, the most expensive transfer in history, is gone, team “sources” state: “With Neymar we had a 5% chance… Now we’re at 50%”. Ángel DiMaría is expected to start, and this may turn out to be a grudge match: his best days, long ago, were with Real Madrid.

Real Madrid, feh. The Champions is their only realistic chance at a trophy this season, and they’ve played accordingly. The man who replaced Íker, Costa Rican Keylor Navas, is one of the very top goaltenders (despite being usually the smallest man on the pitch). I really can’t see PSG putting three past Keylor, unless there are penalties involved—and that would require the ref getting keen on the world-class douchebaggery of Sergio Ramos. Fat chance [spits on the floor].

If PSG wins 2-0, the aggregate will be 3-3, but Real Madrid will be eliminated on away goals (PSG 1 – 0 RM). But if Madriz scores once, then PSG has to score at least three—and I just don’t see it.

Prediction: PSG 2 – 1 Real Madrid (RM passes on 4-3 aggregate. Bastards.)

Banner via ouest-france.fr

 

Balls: I agree with Don T to a T. (Thank you,  try the veal and tip your waitresses!) I foresee the game unfolding in pretty much the exact same way.  PSG getting an early goal,  then a second,  and then fiercely defending to make sure they don’t let one in.

Alas,  that will be their downfall.  If they were to push for a third,  they would win the tie,  but they’re Parisian.   That would be gauche.

Prédiction: 2-1 pour les parisiennes.

 

Hippo: Pessimistically, I’m thinking the Ded Neymar think leads the Frogs straight into surrender territory.  Real gets a goal early, and it’s curtains for PSG.  Add another for humiliation, and because Madrid is full of bastard men.

Prediction: 0-2 to the Spanish Inquisition (RM 4-1 aggregate)

 

Litre_cola: Can somebody in Europe please beat Real Madrid? I mean Espanyol did it for crying out loud. This is the only trophy that they have a chance at and I would appreciate if Ronaldo got a whole bag of nothing this year, including the World Cup.

Major problem here is that Neymar got a boo-boo and is done until the World Cup. Some would see this as convenient for him to get some rest as Paris has run away with the Ligue 1 title. Others point out the fact that this will be the fourth year in a row that he isn’t playing during his sisters birthday.

Faire le clic ici:

Well we know he isn’t loyal to any club that he plays for so at least he is loyal to his family? How much does he make a week being there for the festivities? Like Casillas’ wife she is also a smokeshow and I personally can’t believe that none of us got DFO credentials for her party.
PredictioUn: Balls will get a boner looking at pictures of Neymar’s sister and the teams will tie 1-1.
Don T
Don T
Poor choices, mixed results. ¡Viva Puerto Rico Libre! Titans4Eva

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Don TtheeWeeBabySeamusUnsurprisedSenor Weaselolitre_cola Recent comment authors
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Hey

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Hey everybody! I just bought 48 rechargeable batteries in an assortment of AA and AAA sizes!! And because it’s Amazon Prime they’ll be delivered today!!! Fuckin’ A!!!! I’m gonna go get real high!!!!!
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King Hippo

that’s good Lithium-based hustle!

scotchnaut

Why won’t you guys get with the Canadian metric system? “Eh” batteries last so much longer.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Womp womp.
Maybe you’ll break the streak next year, Pitt.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Pitt w/in 3.

Please let this happen.

theeWeeBabySeamus

It’s SRO at the Barclays for the ACC Tourney so far.

(Seats Rarely Occupied)

King Hippo

being Brooklyn, you’d think someone would go ironically

theeWeeBabySeamus

I was gonna make a joke about all the Carolina Football fans who made the trip, but no one but you and I would have gotten it.

ArmedandHammered
ArmedandHammered

Hrumph

King Hippo

I know yinz local…did you go to teh bad place? How come fer ya can read and such?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Wow, I’m just clueless I guess.
Really??????

Maybe you’re one of teh good ones.

Warthog

They’re already there – is that the joke? (Am a NCSU alum as well.)

theeWeeBabySeamus

SHUT UP!!!!!!!! HOW DID I NOT KNOW THIS??????????????

The joke was more or less all the empty seats in Kenan every fall when they claim sellouts and/or inflate attendance figures.

Warthog

Yep. Got it. I’d have to post things for people to know them.

/Doesn’t post.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Are you local, or displaced?

litre_cola

Not sure where I am right now. Does that count?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hehehehehehe

Senor Weaselo

They don’t even do it for the Nets!

King Hippo

Porto are cursed. Missed an absolute sitter.

King Hippo

yay, I got the RM bastard men score right (just not the order)

King Hippo

well, poor bastards managed a shot. Suspect that’s as good as it will get for Porto.

litre_cola

Is it weird that none of us for 2 posts have made an Areola PSG joke?

theeWeeBabySeamus

While I’m sure the young lady in the picture above used to be attractive, no thanks.
If you can turn back time before she got the fake titties and overdid the terrible cut rate ink…and before she fucked her brother….

Nah, I bet she still looked pretty trashy.
Never mind.

King Hippo

You want drama? Maybe tomorrow.

theeWeeBabySeamus

ND/Pitt is compelling.
Wait never mind. Sorry, I was watching paint dry apparently.

King Hippo

down to 6, which is kind of hilarious

theeWeeBabySeamus

It really is.

And after watching GT/BC earlier, I’m still trying to figure out how we lost to GT even in Atlanta with the Valentine effect.

Still want to punch Dakich tho, so at least some things never change.

litre_cola

May see if I can leave early again and come here. Boss out of town, just send emails when I get home.

King Hippo

c’mon, Porto. Nick a fookin’ goal.

ArmedandHammered
ArmedandHammered

Is that smoke from flares in the stands? If I ran the stadium I would have water cannons ready to go so that when someone lit up a flare, they got a blast from the water cannon.

nomonkeyfun

I thought Bull Connor was dead.

King Hippo

just resting

litre_cola

I hate Ronaldo. A lot.

King Hippo

as they say…it was coming

King Hippo

wow, ND only up 14, Pitt really came to play!

litre_cola

Mighty Fulhams Serb transfer from the barcodes has more goals for the whites (nawt raycess) than Newcastle has in Feb.

King Hippo

just had to ditch those awful black stripes ,, smh

ArmedandHammered
ArmedandHammered

The PSG/Real game looks a lot better than the other one, or is my lack of futball knowledge showing?

litre_cola

Far better. The pub has both in but sound for PSG thank bleergh.

King Hippo

PSG turned up their intensity level the last 10-15 minutes too

litre_cola

Great fucking save by frenchie

King Hippo

yep, controlled aggression the only way to go and he handled it perfectly

litre_cola

Mighty Fulham!

ArmedandHammered
ArmedandHammered

BTW, If you like Wallace and Gromit by Nick Parks and soccer, you should see Early Man, esp if you have small kids. Was a lot of fun;

King Hippo

3 total shots in the Shite/Porto game, none on target.

King Hippo

Man, this is like watching grass grow so far.

litre_cola

Go on – J. Gordon

litre_cola

Fulhamtv wont play on my phone. Plan foiled. Oh well, beer and hating Real will do.

LemonJello
LemonJello

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King Hippo

this is QUALITY!

LemonJello
LemonJello

Soccer talk?
comment image?itemid=4824465

Just kidding, fellas! Enjoy your sprotsball afternoon!

King Hippo

one may also discuss the thrill-a-minute Pitt/ND hoopsball contest!

LemonJello
LemonJello

Hmmm…no thanks.
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litre_cola

I escaped work to the pub. Guinness in hand.

King Hippo

Looks like we’re gonna be talking to ourselves again today, Other Hippo.

Sounds good, Other HIppo!

ArmedandHammered
ArmedandHammered

Hello, both Hippos, I will be around as I have FUBAR’d my back up somehow and will be unable to move from the couch once I am able to hobble over there when finished with the last of my work day, which should be soon.

ballsofsteelandfury

WOOOOOO!

Sorry about your back though.

ArmedandHammered
ArmedandHammered

The day after I turned 52, I slipped on the steps carrying stuff down and thankfully not falling, wrenched the hell out of it. Is it heat or cold for lower back pain?

LemonJello
LemonJello

Bourbon. Sweet, life-giving bourbon.

King Hippo

try both, but usually heat

ArmedandHammered
ArmedandHammered

Thanks, I avoid painkillers other than Advil (I know, I know, but think of it as more available for you)

King Hippo

pills?

King Hippo

aprapos of the pics, tho:

King Hippo

Is Neymar from the West By God Virginia of Brasil?