Your “Bloody Hell Guys – Wait For The Actual Day” Saturday Evening Open Thread

Possibly because they don’t want their news to get lost in all the March Madness madness, events started unfolding quite quickly on the proposed trade front this weekend. Since 5:00ET Friday, in no particular order:

Which adds up to these hagiographic, yet laughable, ‘reimaginings’ of Sashi Brown’s time running the Browns, the Jets suddenly having the most cap space available ($92 million), this sober reminder of failures past,

and this nugget:

And the Browns still have most of their upper-round picks. Dare I say, strategic?

Oh, and Sean McDonough has decided to quit the Monday Night booth & go back to college games. He’s being replaced by someone named Joe Tessitore.


Tonight’s sports:

  • Hockey:
    • NHL:
      • Penguins at Leafs – 7:00PM | CBC / NHLN
      • Wild at Oilers – 10:00PM | CBC
    • NCAA:
      • Penn State at Notre Dame – 5:30PM | ESPNU
        • the “Don’t Touch Me!” Classic
  • NBA:
    • Spurs at Thunder – 8:30PM | ABC
    • Cavs at Lakers – 9:00PM | TSN5
  • NCAA:
    • Tournament Championships:
      • Big 12 – 6:00PM | ESPN
      • Mountain West – 6:00PM | CBS
      • Big East – 6:30PM | FOX
      • MAC – 7:00PM | ESPN2
      • Big Sky – 8:00PM | ESPNU
      • ACC – 8:30PM | ESPN
      • Southland – 9:00PM | ESPN2
      • Pac-12 – 10:00PM | FS1
      • WAC – 10:00PM | ESPNU
  • PyeongChang 2018
    • Paralympic Games – 10:00PM | NBCSN

As Seamus said on Friday, it’s a Whole Lotta Hippo for the next week.

HOPE YOU CAN HANDLE IT!

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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blaxabbath

The zone is exactly as terrible as the spread offense.

But the spread is at least fun to watch.

blaxabbath

HIPpo got anything on pac12 final? Line’s moves from 1.5 to 3.5 since last night, I understand.

Gratliff

With all the derp bullshit taking place in the metro, it’s STILL a two point difference between the Caps, Pens, and Flyers. I would not be surprised to see all three go out in the first round.

theeWeeBabySeamus

OK Virginny…let’s try not to fuck this up.

blaxabbath

PAC-12 championship line up announcement!

...

Opossums are having their moment on Twitter and, frankly, it’s about time.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Sara Bareilles: Still hot.

“Maybe” is a vicious little word that could slay me
Keep me when I’m hurting, you make me
Hang from your hands.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OUe3oVlxLSA

SonOfSpam

Maybe a North Carolina 8, but when you move out here you gotta recalibrate.

...

I have no strong sports opinions at the moment. Some team I hate needs to do something hateable.

Brick Meathook

Remember the Olympics? Me neither.
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herodotus450

“Oh I remember.”
-Hades

Gratliff

Oh shit. Ash vs. Evil Dead season 3 started and I didn’t even realize it. That’s why you don’t start shit in the middle of February.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Did I mention my ducks came home a coupla weeks ago? I thought they had gotten all ett up. But nope, still alive and flapping. Not fapping.

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Doktor Zymm

Nice thing about being old, much easier to go home alone. Don’t need some dude shoving fingers in places

theeWeeBabySeamus

Ummmmmmm….whut???????

herodotus450
...

Well, when a man and woman like each other very much…

Mr. Ayo

Well, I don’t need to kill this prostitute, but calling her an Uber just doesn’t provide the same rush.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

ME NEITHER!

Senor Weaselo

How that hypothetical dude would still have all of his fingers I’ll never know.

herodotus450

Penguins getting a thrashing from the Mapled Leafs; Murray?

Dick E. Phuck

Present

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

ANTARCTICA HAS GONE WILD!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Oh wait……

...

I’m convinced the only reason Trump is big on executing drug dealers is because he recently watched Licence to Kill.

ballsofsteelandfury

Bless your heart!

...

I like the Timothy Dalton movies much more than most people do. I mean, it’s all horribly sexist and jingoistic, but sometimes you just want to see some people get eaten by sharks.

Senor Weaselo

The shark was the protagonist in Jaws, NO ONE DENIES THIS!

herodotus450

Death Wish did just come out….

...

I saw some screencapped reviews for that movie and HOOBOY did the repressed, angry, suburban/exurban middle-aged white dude demographic eat that shit up even though one guy complained too many of the villains were white.

herodotus450

Not sure about the new one, but the original 7 basically boiled down to: guns save the old neighborhood from dirty ethnic types. Can’t imagine why anyone thought that message would be popular again…

...

I know the sequels became straight up murder fantasies, but as I recall the original depicted vengeance as ultimately self-destructive and incapable of delivering justice but somehow I don’t think that’s the message today’s audiences will get.

herodotus450

I bet in the next one Bruce Willis will play a teacher.

...

And he’ll still be described as being in his early 40’s lol

...

Fucking with the clocks is bullshit and I refuse to accept it.

Doktor Zymm

Woo arizona apparently

Doktor Zymm

Getting old is having a bachelor party buy you only one drink, correction 2, while being surrounded by a bachelor party that is drunk as fuck

theeWeeBabySeamus

And here I thought getting old was having your balls hang lower than your penis.

Meh, shows what I know.

WHERE’S MY TWO DRINKS YOU SHITTY BACHELOR PARTY?????????

Doktor Zymm

They did actually buy other dudes more shots than me, and the age at which your balls go lower than your penis is highly variable, known dudes who have always been that way

theeWeeBabySeamus

No comment.
😛

Spanky Datass

The BBC series Planet Earf : Blue Planet II is doin a “making of” episode and so far it’s really good.
Also, SPROTS!!!!1!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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blaxabbath

So Buffalo is Mid America?

Mr. Ayo

It’s west of New York City, so yes.

Fronkenshteen

Who’s got Providence on the ML?

blaxabbath

SF is interesting. I think they’ll still fall short of the playoffs next year. Feels like it’s the Rams time and SEA/SF will be first ones out.

blaxabbath

Places I’ll probably never visit include Myrtle Beach.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Howdy. Skiing today didn’t suck for a change.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Doktor Zymm

Bachelor parties are fucking hilarious

theeWeeBabySeamus

Dammit. Rob sent me down the AC/DC hole.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vbCJMrsd3BA

blaxabbath

How is Nova a 2 seed in the Big East tourney?!

Senor Weaselo

Xavier beat them out by a game, I believe.

Redshirt

Trump: “Vote for Rick What-His-Name! Come up on stage.”

(Rick What-His-Name goes on stage. Trump walks in front of Rick to clap.)

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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...

I forget who pointed it out to me, but it’s as if his brain stopped processing information about things not directly related to him around 1989 or so.

Redshirt

(watching Trump’s speech)

Get a better candidate, Dems! Someone that can beat Trump!

blaxabbath

Crying basketball players never gets old. So glad we show them on tv.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Oh dear God…when did the ACCN hire Jason Capel as an interviewer?

Mr. Ayo

Go Griz!

blaxabbath

Where is the Mountain West playing? This set up with the media behind the bench is…odd.

theeWeeBabySeamus

It’s Vegas, Baby!!!!!!!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Fuck you Elon Musk. You need to return my calls.
I WANNA GO TO MARS!!!!!!
(I actually really do and the fucker won’t talk to me)

King Hippo

I would rather be boiled in oil than watch the goddamned Holes win the ACCT again tonight. The refs will foul everyone on Wahoowa out.

Doktor Zymm

Dude next to me expressing the controversial opinion that Kaep is better than Blaine Gabbert, the guy he’s arguing with is a Tebow fan 😛

Mr. Ayo

How do they feel about Sherman on the 49ers?

Doktor Zymm

They were talking about that earlier but I wasn’t paying attention yet, SAD!

blaxabbath

Really looking forward to hearing Sherman talk about Wilson once he’s elsewhere.

Senor Weaselo

Can Kaep hit the breaking ball? If so, he’s better than Tebow at two sports.

herodotus450

It’s a draw as to who’s better at kneeling though smh

blaxabbath

“Stormy Daniels is the best. Now, for anything else I’ll refer you to outside council.” -Fat sarah Huckabee Sanders

Doktor Zymm

Hah! They’re Skins and Eagles fans!

yeah right

In a complete upset: a new song/band that doesn’t suck.

The singer sounds like a reincarnated Robert Plant.

Wait, he’s still alive?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HxbT5jSxGJ0

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I’ve been pushing Greta Van Fleet in open threads for weeks! Can’t believe those kids are teenagers.

blaxabbath

Has anyone else noticed that every city appears to have a local news guy (usually on the morning show with all the hot old blonds) that looks, at 75%, like Paul Manafort.

blaxabbath

I think there is a big super super soaker fight , sponsored by carnival cruises, on tv at this bar.

herodotus450

The only thing more impressive than that UMBC win is their small business loan interest rates!
/because they sound like a bank, don’t you see

blaxabbath

Nothing but net with that one.

blaxabbath

I got CLE as a playoff team in ‘19.

King Hippo

#ThePauls

#BelieveLandChuhChuh

blaxabbath

A fucking draft beer just cost me $7.50!

You GOT DAMN CA libs!

King Hippo

u ben snowflaeked!

blaxabbath

This is peak hippo

King Hippo

oh, it’s just cause when Providence loses I’mma need that blade + aspirin bath is all. 😀

Doktor Zymm

$1.80 Yuenglings last week in Philly. It was glorious. Overheard someone asking about specials and the dude was like ‘everything, this bar is fucking cheap’

blaxabbath

I’ll jusy bring my comment that I accidentally posted in the am thread to here…

I’m in a bar on SD that is flying a Chargers flag. The joke, then, is that it’s one of these White nationalism bars so they’re used to rooting against their own interests.

King Hippo

on the ESPN scoreboard page, the Toledo Rocket logo looks like a tampon

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hehehehehe

theeWeeBabySeamus

PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT: Don’t forget to turn your clocks forward tonight.

Wait, whut? Oh shit, right. Turn your clocks back tonight. BACK.

Except for you assholes in Arizona. Weird fuckers.

theeWeeBabySeamus

No wait…forward.

THIS SHIT IS CONFUSING.

Doktor Zymm

It’s a sad sad day when Arizona is actually the best at something

blaxabbath

I’m sorry, did you grow up in some place where droughts are not a source of civic pride?!

theeWeeBabySeamus

If I’m being honest, I totes miss living in Arizona.
Once I killed my wife off, it was fun.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Every time I joke about my dead ex wife it seems to kill the conversation.

You guys are way too sensitive.

blaxabbath

big if true

theeWeeBabySeamus

Mesa PD investigated me. No shit.
I’m still a little bitter, perhaps.

King Hippo

ignoring MLK ain’t a thang?

blaxabbath

Hey! Deal is a deal; we keep the super bowl, you get your annual rap concert or whatever it is.

But now that we’re off the list for a while, I expect some anti-gay legislation any minute.

yeah right

If any of you folks should find yourself in the LAX area tomorrow afternoon and would like a sneak preview of NEXT week’s Sunday Gravy come on by, there’s plenty. And holy good goddamn this is shaping up to be an epic fucking meal. I’ve been working on this meal since Tuesday and spent the entire day today in the kitchen and I still haven’t started the main dish.

Fuck, my back is sore from cooking.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Damn dude, wish I was. That is tempting to get a redeye tho.

yeah right

I spent an hour and a half making butter. BUTTER!

King Hippo

“Showoff”

– Amish guy/gal, Lancaster, PA

Doktor Zymm

Delicious compound butter?

yeah right

If you remember a conversation we had about a specific ethnic type bread then this is the same ethnicity and it’s a staple in all of their cooking.

herodotus450

I ghee what you did there.

yeah right

This guy gheets it.

Senor Weaselo

Colin Mochrie?
comment image?maxwidth=640&shape=thumb&fidelity=medium
/Someone fix it later, I’m on the phone

Senor Weaselo

Fine, I’ll fix it now that I’m home.
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blaxabbath

Put it on the mail!!!

King Hippo

Shitting bricks yet, WCS?

King Hippo

Correct answer is GAMBLOR. Friars have janky nerves.

Doktor Zymm

Poor Tyrod