“The purple alien with 3 toes on one foot and 4 on the other, slowly crept up the stairs of the dilapidated apartment building on the outskirts of the city of Thorg.
Thorg had been a whaling town in its hey day, but now the Yellow Flupgrup Whale had been hunted to near extinction. And the city was dying a slow but ugly death.”
Holy shit, that’s harder than it looks. No wonder Beastmode Ate My Baby needed to take a week off.
Yes, as you might have noticed either by the title; or by the shitty writing in that little blurb up there, this is NOT Prisoners on the Pleasure Planet .
The lovely and talented Beastmode needed to take a very hard earned and well-deserved week off. Plus he had to spend extra time this week trying to perfect the tWBS boob censor technology. It’s time well spent.
He’ll be back in this slot next week, as usual. Giving you God Balls with chrome nipples and fiery fingers (and now that he’s a god, a somewhat swelled head too); and aggressive blondes who kick the shit out of you first and ask questions later. And sometimes you don’t even get to the questions. (seriously guys, writing that stuff is not easy…Beastie is amazing with that shit).
No word on if/when my Dingle makes a reappearance. But don’t hold your breath. My Dingle didn’t test well with focus groups and is unlikely to recover.
Later tonight, in my normal slot, King Hippo comes to you once again giving you righteous analysis of tonight’s NCAA Baxsetballingz. And no matter what he says, I am NOT betting tonight. Last night, I reached on Kentucky, and like often happens in Kentucky, they bent me over. I laid out $600 on those assholes -5.0 (oh quit yer moaning, it was all house money). They should have beaten 5 points with their eyes closed. But they didn’t.
So now, instead of my total profit so far for NCAAT betting being $2,500, it’s just under $1,300. Which still isn’t bad…but still. I am NOT betting tonight.
(I am PROBABLY not betting tonight.)
((Where’s the vodka?))
/starts looking at tonight’s lines
But all of that aside, what this all means is that you get a bonus, not to mention early, version of TGISF this week. I didn’t expect to be coming to you this week at all. Yet here I am, several hours earlier than usual. Hope I didn’t catch you with your bloomers down.
Because we’re talking about Early Bloomers !!!!
(yes, I can feel your cringing…no, not those kinds of early bloomers…sheesh, I’m not a monster)
Spring Has Sprung
Tuesday was the first day of Spring. I like Spring. Mostly because that’s when a lot of flowers show up. Funny how that happens.
I like flowers and I like taking pictures of them. Here, have some…
Sometimes however, they can get overzealous. A few of them bloomed early this year because we had a really warm February around here. And they were pretty and all, don’t get me wrong. But then on Wednesday, the second day of spring, the reckoning came….
But it wasn’t all carnage and mayhem. This little beauty (below) made it just fine and is still standing tall.
If it’s a pretty girl and there’s flowers visible, it’s fair game.
That seems simple enough.
Kinda makes you want to plant a garden, huh?
OK That’s All I Got
You folks go home, start drankin’ and get ready for tonight’s Marchy Madness action.
(I’m NOT betting)
Have a great weekend, everyone.
Do you have a “request” or an idea for a future TGISF theme? Drop me a line…