Well here we are with two games. Yep second fixtures in the tie. Both are not worth skipping out from work to watch for me.

Bayern Munich v Sevilla at Allianz Arena (2-1)

Litre_Cola :There is no way that Sevilla wins this 2-0 so I will weave a tale. I visited the Allianz Arena for a Champions League game when I was on an Eastern European tour with some of the boys. We were ending our trip in Munich at Oktoberfest 2005. We were sitting around Haufbrauhaus tent on the grounds and starting chatting with some Belgians who will were visiting for the Club Brugge match. One of my buddies left the beer tents to go get us tickets and he came back with 4 singles. Whatever, we were happy to be going. The game was at 8:45 pm, it was Oktoberfest, the whole stadium was absolutely wasted. We drew tickets fairly and my best travelling buddy and I ended up in the Ultras end. It was unreal. The Germans were so hospitable in that end, even the thugs. We were given song sheets so we could sing in German and they bought us a bunch of beer. The stadium was built in 2002 for the World Cup in 2006 and it was amazing. The outside changes coloUrs for the two teams that play in the city, and at the time they seemed to not care how inebriated you were because they still served beer. If you ever get the chance to do both Oktoberfest and a Bayern game on the same day, do it, it is bucket list stuff.

• I just remembered that on the day of the match a kiwi backpacker fancied one of my friends and really wanted to play. She asked if he would go in to a port-o-potty with her. He did. I cannot think of a more romantic place to “make love”. Midday, during Oktoberfest with 13000 people drinking around you.

Prognose : Bayern Munchen 2 Sevilla 0

Balls: The last time I was in Munich,  I was picking up my BMW and embarking on a week-long driving holiday through the Alps. BTW, if you can do it,  I HIGHLY recommend custom-ordering your car and doing European Delivery.

I bring that up because one of the things I wanted to do but ended up missing was a visit to the Allianz Arena.  The next time, I’m taking the tour.

Predicción: which is what Sevilla will be doing. I hope they take nice pictures.  Bayern 3 Sevilla 0.

Hippo: To steal blatantly from Jorge Carlin – “Pardon me, but I have nothing to say!”

Predicción: Bayern 2-0 (Bayern 4-1 on aggregate).

Don T: You know… Every time I’ve dumped on a team that I thought had no chance to win over an European big shot, I’ve ended up eating my words–my succulent, succulent words. AS Roma did the unthinkable yesterday, beating a Barcelona team that just didn’t have it and got outmuscled handily. So giving Sevilla little credit, for the 4th time in a row, may bite me in the ass. My succulent, succulent ass. And the sight of a dejected Arjen Robben would really brighten my day.

Robben and wife party after losing the 2012 Champions Final

vs. Chelsea, played IN MUNICH (via Reuters / Daily Mail)

NOPE. Bayern is too good.  They’re not ripe for disappointment yet.

Predicción: Bayern 3 – 0 Sevilla (Bayern Munich advances 5-1).

Real Madrid v Juventus at Santiago Bernabéu Stadium (3-0)

Litre_Cola : This is over, could be Buffon’s last European game. He was fantastic.

That golazo from Ronaldo was absolutely preposterous. I dislike him tremendously but he is such a talent.

Predicción : Real Madrid 2 Juventus 1

I really hope that it ends up Liverpool v Bayern and Barca v Real Madrid. That would be fantastic.

***great work Barca.

Balls: I cannot hate Ronaldo.  Yes,  he plays for Real, but he produces magic like the goal Litre played above and he bangs the hottest women in the world.  Gotta give the man his due.

I will also differ from my good friend Litre in that I hope the matchups are Barcelona-English Team and Bayern-Real. I’m salivating thinking of the Bayern-Real matchup.  And that gives Barça an easier road to the final.

Clearly,  this was written before yesterday.  I now want Real-Bayern ONLY in the final.  Anything else would be a gift to the other two teams.

Predicción: Real romps at home 2-0.

Hippo: I can and do hate Ronaldo.  He seems like a smug cocksucker to me.  I hope they end up against the Redshite next round, so they both can’t end up in the finals.

Predicción: 1-1, nobody cares or really tries (Real 4-1 on aggregate).

Don T: Madriz is starting to look like the juggernaut it was last season. The first leg was thrilling; Ronaldo got an early goal but then both teams got frenetic, crossing almost the length of the field with a coupla passes for the first 60 minutes or so. But Juve’s Dybala, nicknamed “The Jewel”, was out of sorts and then ejected. Then the Ronaldo wonder goal happened and…

I can’t hate Cristiano; he’s too good. Sure, he’s a ball hog and a total diva on the field, but that guy will play until someone fractures something in his body. Cristiano has gotten mad when other TEAMMATES score if he had a clear opportunity. Whatever; selfishness by forwards rewards a team, usually. And Cristiano ain’t just a forward; he’s an all-timer.

Can Juve make it a game? Don’t think so. Dybala is out for a red card, so the front line is expected to be Costa, Higuaín (now THERE’S a selfish dude and all-time poacher), plus the Dark Arts stylings of Mario Mandzukic. Real is dirtier, and their manager will beat up any of his players who fail to provide a drubbing.

Glorious playing career ends in red card at 

the 2006 World Cup Final (via giphy)

Think Zidane, now older and a manager, has gotten softer on Italians? Fat chance.

Predicción: Real 3 – 1 Juve, 1 straight red (Madriz advances 6-1, more chances to hate on them).