NFL News:
- More draft-day stories are leaking out:
- The Seahawks were willing to part with Earl Thomas.
- Dallas just wouldn’t pony up the picks.
- The Patriots were looking into Baker Mayfield at #2 if the Browns didn’t take him.
- It seems, based on reading between the lines at PFT, that the Patriots were looking to both find Brady’s potential replacement and fuck over the Jets, who really had their heart set on Mayfield.
- The Seahawks were willing to part with Earl Thomas.
- The Jets will have joint practices with the [Redacteds] this summer.
- In advance of their preseason game against each other on August 16.
Tonight’s sports:
- NHL:
- Capitals at Penguins – 7:30PM | NBCSN / Sportsnet
- Predators at Jets – 8:00PM | CNBC / CBC
- NBA:
- Cavaliers at Raptors – 8:00PM | TNT / TSN
- Pelicans at Warriors – 10:30PM | TNT / TSN
- MLB:
- Blue Jays at Twins – 8:00PM | Sportsnet1
- WWE:
- Smackdown Live! – 8:00PM | USA / Sportsnet360
- There’s a whole bunch of this these days:
- Smackdown Live! – 8:00PM | USA / Sportsnet360
C’MON MCMAHON!
Liquid ass.
liquid ass?
Yeah, that kinda sucked. Looks like I shall quit watching once Winnipeg is out.
#CapsYear
The Ruhwedel wobbles but won’t fall
winnepeg vs nashville
who should I root against and why?
Winnipeg because it’s a tiny town in the middle of nowhere that lost their original team to Gary Bettman’s Greed.
But how can you root for a city that has no parks?
It really sucked when they left. Total bullshit.
They’re back, though. That’s what matters. Now, we need the Nordiques to return, and then Hartford.
a-fucking-men
After Seattle of course
Move Carolina back to Hartford. Florida to Quebec and add Seattle. 32 teams, even number in each conference.
Works for me.
FishTossers, naturally.
WOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLL.
evening
I love hanging with you sons a bitches but the eyelids are giving way to gravity. See ya tommorra.
it’s only a day away, ninja!
Dustin Byfuglien, Brett Favre, and Mike Krykyewski should all start a club or something.
A Dirt Jest comeback would be mighty nice.
This game has been excellent. The game speed is ridiculous.
Pekka Rinne looking moar like Swiss Cheese ?
Delivery lady flashed considerable cleavage while getting my food. Can I sue her for me almost getting a semi? I’ll hang up and wait for your sarcasm.
She’d be fine with just a tip
Woke up Decilitre. I regret nothing.
get a couple white noise machines off Amazon. Spring the extra $10 for the 2-speed varietal.
WTF happened in WPG?
FFFUUUCCCKKKK YYYYEEEAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
FUUUCCCKKKK YEEAAAAHHHHH
oh shit, do I need to find my remote?
3-3!!!
WOW!
-1 goal lead is hte most dangerous lead in hockey
“Huh, best player in the league is over there, let’s not guard him.”
-Caps players, apparently
“Does he chicken wing down on the stick?”
-Pierre Maguire
Ummm. Irregardless of herodotus’ comments, this game is good.
For the record, Nak just uppercut AJ’s balls again and it was wonderful. This is my favorite gimmick currently. Resurrecting NJPW CHAOS Nakamura was an inspired choice. They even gave him shitty Japanese rap rock over his theme to keep fans from singing along to it. It’s so good.
This game.
BLOOD FOAR TEH BLOOD GODS!
If scotchnaut was eating his sammiches with the Caps, he’d be getting one ‘au Djoos.”
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christian_Djoos
Ugh…my employer made me upgrade to a new Windows 10 machine, from my old Windows 8 because I could run a really old program through a virtual machine on the old box.
So for three hours, I was trying to install and get my shit to work. I ended up getting motion sickness just trying to deal with the fucking screen resolution that for reasons I cannot possibly fathom, Microsoft has made it impossible to fucking actually adjust to a setting that doesn’t make me nauseous.
I would really love it if every time fucking windows came out with a new addition, I didn’t have to hack it so it does basic shit.
I haven’t seen that many ineffectual passes by Washington since… every day when Congress is in session.
/passing the buck, you see.
Had no idea that you were able to channel pre-9/11 Dennis Miller. Impressive!
/just having fun
[Opens door to room where The Capital Steps are handcuffed to typewriters.]
They’re on to us, pack up and get out of here!
Suspend his ass.
DFO is not your private erotica site. Get your shit together.
nashville moar like gashville amirit
Does anyone dip their fries in steak sauce? Let me know so that I can put you on my “Dead To Me” list.
The Brothers Garrett should invite Braden Holtby to a Finest Eatings Club luncheon.
Braden Holtby lets in a goal, seriously reconsiders his private school upbringing.
Holtby: “Do you know who my father is!?”
Puck Deflection: “…”
Holy merde, when I said “bad feeling” I didn’t envision “snuff film”
[splooooooooshes]
-Seamus
That goal may have just killed Don Cherry
at least there’s a silver lining, eh?
Just silver? Seems a little bland…
I’ve been drinking for 5 hours now and just ordered delivery-I might get a club sandwich with onion rings
or a blaf somedue wit bunion rinks. Either way, I’m good.
“Jets Suck!”
-Birds, everywhere
Hey guys, watch this!
A jet, lining up another bird.
/Bernoulli’s Principle FTW
Tommy Muthafuckin Pham leadoff homer!!!
#BFIB loves our angry black CF
Malkin really giving this series the shot of Vitamin R it needed.
Not going to argue the team’s usual dependence on rat tits.
Just realized that all Pottsburgh sprots teams have the same colors, how imaginative. “Your lungs after working in the mines” black and “color of the water after they blew up the mountain” yellow.
I have a baaaaadddd feeling about WPG, sorry in advance Litre.
Really thought WPG was a soccer team or something for a minute…
Nah, that’s CRB. I did have 2 bills on them to also win the 2nd half against Campinense to cover the dumb bet I made on the stupid Dirt Jest.
Which they did. WOO BRASIL LESSER FOOTY!!!
/need the anti-beisbol GAMBLOR discipline I have developed in Ice Footy
They might have run out of gas.
Or in their case, jet fuel.
Thanks. I have a bad feeling about this.
Little Known Fact:
Capitols coach Barry Trotsky’s grandfather was assassinated with an ice pick through the brain in Mexico City in 1941.
#MayDayFACTS
“And that’s why I can never let him win a championship…”
-Shadowy figure wearing a #8 jersey with a very Eastern European accent
“SPANKTACKULAR GOALTENDING BY HOLTBY! Spectacular. I said spectacular. Shit!”
-Marv Albert
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AFma24S-Uvw
Name-wise, Braden Holby is a Johns Hopkins lacrosse player masquerading as an NHL goalie.
His hobbies include yachting and date rape…
Johns Hopkins or Duke?
Meh, Duke is over-done these days…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y3oiPbNfw98
Often at the same time.
It’s about the implication.
What are you implying?
Meanwhile Pitts has a guy named for what happens when you put grit on ice: Rust.
What if Tuesday is my oppressor?
“Hush, hush.”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uejh-bHa4To
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W1PNvopXjbg
If Dez Bryant signs a minimum veteran’s contract for anyone, I will know in my heart of hearts that everything is going to be okay again.
A supremely talented, disgruntled diva receiver coming off a bad year has never helped out a team like, oh let’s say, the Patriots win a bunch of super bowls, have they? NOT OK.
[thinks back to that time (2007) I drafted Brady in the second round and a washed-up Randy Moss in the eighth and went undefeated in my fantasy league]
“You might be onto something here, herotodus.”
Ah the good ol days, when NE was a defensive team and Brady had the “game manager” label. Though I guess the Moss years are exactly when that changed.
Shady Shopkeeper: “This game comes with a free Evgeni Malkin!”
Caps: “That’s bad.”
SS: “Yes, yes it is.”
I have a friend of a friend who was a bar back at “Patriot Place” during the draft and saw Belichick, Kraft and other front office people. I’ve been trying to figure out who they actually are, but apparently someone named “Wheeler” FREAKED out on the staff when they said they were out of gin.
It seems like that organization is very used to getting their way. It’s would be a shame if that were to stop happening soon…
[taps side of nose]
Gotcha. Don’t let them get their way…
[drinks all gin, everywhere]
Someone hire this man. He gets it.
SOLIDARITY!
I’s gotta return (hah!) to History Repeating
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yzLT6_TQmq8
Ya see, back in the old days the denial of god’s existence was toyed about by many smart fellers. The notion that God didn’t exist and how it would fuck with the notion of time was something that Nietzsche was the first to shine the light on. Yeah, The Eternal Return was a total mind fuck for a youngster by the name of scotchteen.
“Way too confident. Probably a monster in bed that would tear my dick off and have it for dessert.”
-scotchnaut
You say that like it’s a bad thing.