Your “WHADDYA MEAN THERE’S NO HOCKEY?!” Tuesday Evening Open Thread

Beerguyrob

Beerguyrob

A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
Beerguyrob

NFL News:

  • The Devil went down to Georgia, and he was looking for a Bears playbook to steal:
    • Chicago Bears first-round pick Roquan Smith got his team-issued iPad stolen from his 2018 BMW X5 when he went down to Athens to visit people at UGA.
      • The Bears claim it was password protected, so they were able to remotely wipe it clean.
    • Because I’m lazy, “In addition to the iPad, the list of items reported stolen includes Smith’s Rose Bowl and National Championship jerseys, his 2017 University of Georgia football helmet, and UGA “Athlete of the Year” trophy.”
    • There was no forced entry into Smith’s BMW, and according to police, it’s possible the linebacker accidentally left the vehicle unlocked. Some latent fingerprints were collected at the scene.

There is no fucking way I’m using the Primus or Rednex versions.

  • Despite, or likely because of, only playing eight games in two years, Dr. JJ Watt says he’s “feeling great” & looking forward to starting the season on time.
    • He claims to have found motivation from his girlfriend, Kealia Ohai, a member of the Houston Dash soccer team who returned from a torn ACL.
No word on the efficacy of her handies, though.
  • Reuben Foster better ask for a judge versus a jury trial on his domestic assault charges, because she’s got a bombshell: “Elissa Ennis told police he threw her dog across a room during an argument.”
    • Sadly, some people might forgive giving a woman a smack, but no one forgives hurting a dog.
      • Reminder: Foster allegedly hit her 10 times and smashed her phone as she was calling 911.
        • She has since recanted, but one of the key witnesses for the prosecution is the driver of a car she flagged down & whose phone she borrowed to call 911.
      • Reminder: don’t read the comments attached to PFT’s story. Oof.
    • The preliminary hearing, which a judge uses to determine if a case goes to jury trial, is set for May 17.
  • Well, this takes balls:
    • Hours after Saints RB Mark Ingram was suspended four games for a PED violation, it’s leaked via NFL bag carrier Ian Rapoport that he wants a new contract.
      • Ingram is due to make $4 million – which is now $3 million after the four games missed – this season.
    • Ingram will be allowed to participate in all of the Saints’ offseason work, training camp and the preseason, but he is choosing not to to pursue his contract demands.

Finally, Mike James was denied permission by the League to use marijuana as a pain-relief medication to avoid opiates. This would matter if Mike James had someplace to play in 2018.

  • The important thing to learn from the story – and I’m surprised it’s coming from one of their media lackeys – is that it’s quite easy to skirt the test, and as long as law enforcement doesn’t get involved a player is home-free to use weed during the season, and is why the NFLPA doesn’t want to change the current policy:

Players who understand how the substance-abuse policy works and when the window for annual substance-abuse testing opens realize that, if they stop smoking in approximately the middle of March and refrain until their once-per-year test (the window opens on 4/20 and lasts until early August), they can smoke with impunity throughout most of training camp, most of the preseason, and all of the regular season and postseason. As long as a given player avoids landing in the substance-abuse program, the player can use marijuana as much as he needs or wants in order to deal with pain or simply because he likes it.


As a follow-up to my DFO University treatises on lagers & ales, the World Beer Cup was held in Nashville last weekend. (Mental note: follow up on gin vs. vodka draft)

Competition Highlights: (courtesy brewersassociation.org)

  • Average number of beers entered per category: 82 (a 13 percent increase from 2016)
  • Most-entered categories in 2018:
    • 377 entries in Category 93, American-Style India Pale Ale
    • 196 entries in Category 94, Imperial India Pale Ale
    • 196 entries in Category 28, Wood- and Barrel-Aged Strong Beer
    • 190 entries in Category 29, Wood- and Barrel-Aged Strong Stout
  • Number of countries represented: 66 (a 20 percent increase from 2016)
  • Countries with the most awards:
    • United States: 242
    • Canada: 14
    • Germany: 9

You can a list of all the award winners here or a list of just the gold medalists here. Beers from my neck of the wood took home 8 of the 14 awards for Canada:

Riot Brewing Co. – Chemainus, BC

  • GOLD – Working Class Hero Dark Mild (English-Style Mild Ale)
  • BRONZE – Breakfast of Champions Coffee Lager (English-Style Mild Ale)

Powell Street Brewery – Vancouver, BC

  • GOLD – Old Jalopy Pale Ale (Extra Special Bitter)

Ravens Brewing Co. – Abbotsford, BC

  • GOLD – Corvus Lingonberry Lime Gose (Leipzig-Style Gose or Contemporary Gose)

Coal Harbour Brewing Co. – Vancouver, BC

  • SILVER – Smoke & Mirrors Imperial Smoked Ale (Smoke Beer)

Steamworks Brewing Co. – Vancouver, BC

  • SILVER – Scarlet (Wood and Barrel-Aged Strong Beer)

Four Winds Brewing Co. – Delta, BC

  • SILVER – Juxtapose (American-Belgo-Style Ale)

33 Acres Brewing Co. – Vancouver, BC

  • SILVER – 33 Acres of Euphoria (Belgian-Style Tripel)

Whistler Brewing Co. – Whistler, BC

  • BRONZE – Black Tusk Ale (English-Style Mild Ale)

(list courtesy BC Business)

Well done, lads. I guess I know what this weekend holds for my liver.


Tonight’s sports:

  • NHL:
    • nothing. Not a goddamned thing.
    • Stupid Jets couldn’t win a home clinching game. I’M NOT BITTER! YOU ARE!!
      • Further: I DON’T WANT TO TALK TO MY FAMILY!
  • NBA: for those non-Canadians, the media navel-gazing over the Raptors demise was delicious
    • Jazz at Rockets – 8:00PM | TNT / TSN
    • Pelicans at Warriors – 10:30PM | TNT / TSN
  • MLB:
    • no national broadcasts in the USA (aside from MLBN)
    • Mariners at Blue Jays – 7:00PM | Sportsnet
  • WWE:
    • Smackdown Live! – 8:00PM | USA / Sportsnet360

Did you know there’s a follow-up to “The Devil Went Down To Georgia”? I did.

AWFUL!

Beerguyrob
Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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Unsurprisedyeah righttheeWeeBabySeamusBrettFavresColonoscopyMr. Ayo Recent comment authors
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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Is Westworld worth it? Never started watching it but getting peer pressured.

theeWeeBabySeamus

In a word…..Yes.

Great show.

yeah right

Absolutely.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Miley is a treasure.

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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Last one.

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ballsofsteelandfury

I could totally see her doing a video where she shoves an aubergine somewhere uncomfortable.

Like the back of a Volkswagen.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Do women really dread anything involving an aubergine?

Senor Weaselo

Dare I ask?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Have you seen Mallrats?

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Not skimpy, butt …

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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Here you go, Brocky. For your trouble.

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Brocky

gifs of attractive women wearing minimal clothing

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I see outfits like that at church.

Seriously, though thanks

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Yeah, but it’s still Giada feeling herself up. Anyway, how about this? I just saw this. There are photos I saw earlier where you can see the top of her butt crack.

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Brocky

this pleases brocky.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

For size

Spoiler

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ballsofsteelandfury

Butt cleavage is good cleavage.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Nailed it!

-Blair Walsh

ballsofsteelandfury

Giada?

ballsofsteelandfury

I swear to Giada’s vagina that I recognized her without reading the comment below. I don’t know what that says about me…

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Inside tip: I don’t think the Pelicans are going to make it to the finals this year.

Brocky

Ayo and Brick. Just for the hell of it, I redid the graph for your expectations.

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interestingly enough, it drops baltimore down 3 spots all the way to 6.
most other teams move up 1 spot cuz cleveland drops off completely.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Great success! This matches up much better with my reality.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Your ordering on ties is inconsistent. First title should be the tie breaker.

/pushes spectacles up nose
//sniffs
///farts
////dick joke

Senor Weaselo

As in first title from inception?

Brocky

I think he’s trying to justify putting the cowboys over the patriots.

just to be clear, alphabetical is not a tie breaker

Brocky

My ordering on ties is alphabpetical order on team names. as far as I know there’s no way to accurately choose one over the other.

the only other tie I can think of any difference is the one between the chiefs and jets, because the chiefs won other afl titles. I was thinking I could add a value of .001 to the averages for afl titles, but only for that instance would it make a difference.

the other 3 ties (cowboys/patriots, broncos/raiders, seahawks/buccaneers) would still be the same.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Here’s how to calculate the top spot on a state-of-the-art Deci-Lon slide rule.
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Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

This might be the first thing I’ve ever calculated on a slide rule.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

What the hell is a top spot?

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

The top spot in the spreadsheet above. Green Bay has 13 titles in 97 years for a 7.462 average.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

D’oh!

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

This new math is terrible

rockingdog
rockingdog
Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Since it’s baseball and spreadsheet night, here are my slide rules:

1962 Keuffel & Esser 68 1100 Decilon Slide Rule
1955 Keuffel & Esser 4081-3 Log Log Duplex Decitrig Slide Rule
1951 Keuffel & Esser 4070-3 Polyphase Duplex Trig Slide Rule
1947 Lawrence Flashrule
1957 TWA Take-off Power Accountability Slide Rule, for radial engines w/ carburetors

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I don’t want to sound snooty, but I probably own more slide rules than everyone you know combined. I can calculate the shit out of all sorts of things and I don’t need electricity to do this, folks.

PM me if you’d like more close-up pictures or just want to hear some interesting slide rule stories.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

We need a DFO University 101 post on WTF and HTF of a slide rule

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

As soon as I learn how to use one I will be all over that. I know that they make good straight-edges, though.

Horatio Cornblower

My son’s home from college and we’re immediately yelling at the Yankees and fighting over whose turn it is to play Fortnite and I’m pretty sure my wife’s upstairs packing.

Senor Weaselo

Which one of you gets to be Thanos?
/That’s about all I know

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Had a weird night so just now going to grab food. Walked into the wrong restaurant, and since I ordered a drink before I figured it out, I’m pot committed.

Clipboard Jesus
Clipboard Jesus

The Gusto Crema from Georgetown brewing is a fantastic beer and it deserved its gold medal for coffee beer.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

How’s the mouth feel?

To be clear, I ask that about everything.

rockingdog
rockingdog

found a funny:

Hansel: What if we get lost?
Gretel: We’ll just leave a trail of breadcrumbs to follow
Duck: Good idea
Hansel:
Gretel:
Duck: I mean quack

blaxabbath

Found out today that we won the luxury of buying season ticket rights to two seats at the Las Vegas Raiders Stadium.

Brocky

So, had an idea today. the old sports argument of which franchise was better, which one had more titles, which one had more superbowls, yadda yadda…

So I sought to create a spreadsheet, averaging titles won vs years of existence. I’m willing to give pre merger titles the same weight as super bowl titles, and i’ve awarded the nfl titles from 1966-1969 to the respective Superbowl winners. I am in no way including AFL titles, because I strongly feel they lack the prestige of the nfl titles. Behold:

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yeah I know it has the packers first, but honesty I don’t care that much. You will notice my list doesn’t include the 10 teams to not either win an nfl championship or a superbowl. (suck it vikings fans)

thoughts? critques? gifs of attractive women wearing minimal clothing?

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Baltimore Ravens and Cleveland Browns on your chart are the same franchise.

Brocky

are they really though? i’ve never been clear on this. didn’t the championship and franchise records all revert back to cleveland?

and I just now realized I didn’t subtract 3 years for cleveland.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

For this exercise it would be more accurate to have the Ravens be 46 to current and the new Browns franchise to be 96 to current. They just moved and it has nothing to do with on field stuff.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

I agree with this. For fan purposes they kept all the records in Cleveland (to avoid another Colts controversy), but for this exercise the ’46 Browns become the ’96 Ravens. That’s my hot taek anyway.

blaxabbath

I disagree with equal weight in titles. I also think droughts should play a role in these analyses. ARI hasn’t been a champion in 50 fucking years. At least BUF won some Conference titles.

Brocky

there’s an argument I heard, That while worded poorly, nonetheless shares my sentiment.

titles won before the superbowl were won knowing full well the conditions necessary to win a title.

1947 the chicago cardinals knew what they had to do to win a champion ship: get a good enough record to make the playoffs, and win any any playoff games and/or championship games. In 19 47 The Cardinals accomplished this

1990-1993 the buffalo bills knew what they had to do to win a champion ship: get a good enough record to make the playoffs, and win any any playoff games and/or championship games. The buffalo bills did not accomplished this

that’s the difference in my opinion. if i wasn’t so lazy I’d look up more fancy words for what I said

Senor Weaselo

Has anyone not known the conditions necessary? “Wait, we have to win to have a chance to play by winning?”

Brocky

if buffalo is any indication, some teams still don’t understand how winning a championship works.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

IF THE GREAHTEST FRANCHISE IN NFL HISTAHRY IS NOT NUMBAH ONE THEN YOUAH NERD SHEET IS WRONG YOU FAHKING QUEEAH

Brocky

You’re right.

I personally consider the bears the the greatest of all time. their #2 ranking is unacceptable. Will now put a new list up shortly.

Redshirt
rockingdog
rockingdog

thats a good funny!

rockingdog
rockingdog

hi all!!!

got to drive thru some cool fog tonight after night class. It was cool!!!
also learned more about Jquery and how you can do more actions and animations like OnMouseOver and Rollimage and stuff….

Redshirt

REDS WIN! Finally the tens digit in the wins column gets some use!!!!

Senor Weaselo

And the Matt Harvey era gets off to a good start!

This will be the highlight of the Matt Harvey era.

Senor Weaselo

Also isn’t this win #9?

Redshirt

Hey, blame Thom Brennaman! He said it!

SonOfSpam

(In Cincinnati, “9” is a two-digit number.)

Redshirt

What do you expect? We don’t go to class.

SonOfSpam

That’s not fair; most of you also don’t shower.

Senor Weaselo

“Us too!” -U*NC athletes

theeWeeBabySeamus

US Too!!!

– Baltimore at “8”

Redshirt

The player the Reds traded, Devin Meseroco, just pitch hit. The Reds fans gave their former player a standing ovation.

Say what you want about Bengals fans, but Reds fans have class.

SonOfSpam

Have it, never attended it.

litre_cola

The local burlesque parloUr here is known as “Diamonds” I am sure the staff are klassie. They are currently hiring bartenders, and door staff in anyone is interested.

Redshirt

(two weeks ago)
Me: “What do you want for Mother’s Day?”
Mom: “I don’t want anything. I just want you to go to church with me.”

(today)
Mom: “So did you get me a Mother’s Day gift, yet?”
Me: “What’d you see on Amazon?”

King Hippo

well, at least ya don’t have to go to church no more!

Redshirt

No, no. Church too.

King Hippo

how is your mom with “converse Indian giver” jokes?

SonOfSpam

C’mon man…I’ve already mean (for no reason) to Redshirt and his people, and now you expect me to say “It’s her favorite position!” about Converse Indian Giver? Well, I will NOT do that. Good day to you, sir.

Redshirt

You’re mean in fun. I’ve no problem with that.

SonOfSpam

Dammit, the coal baron asshole felon didn’t win the GOP primary in West Virginny tonight.

Was looking forward to him getting more national attention.

Senor Weaselo

Would the GOP consider him the canary in the coal mine?

LemonJello
LemonJello

“That reminds me, eliminate OSHA, immediately!”
-D. Trump, probably

SonOfSpam

Oh, that Stings.

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli

The Mets just traded Matt Harvey to the Reds whom they are playing right now in Cincinnati.

So basically, they decided to just leave him in Cincinnati, which is pretty damned mean when you get right down to it.

SonOfSpam

But they have that delicious spaghetti-chili abortion.

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli

I just got word that Harvey has stumbled over to Redshirt’s house and is searching for the liquor cabinet while weeping about Adriana Lima.

SonOfSpam

Hey, there are some hot chicks in CincinnHAHAHAHAHAHA

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli

But there is lots of whiskey just over the Ohio River, which is where a bunch of his pitches will end up.

LemonJello
LemonJello

That’s the weirdest tribute to Peter King I’ve ever read.

Redshirt

We have other foods too. Ribs. Ice Cream. Our Marathon is called the “Flying Pig” for crying out loud!

Senor Weaselo

It’s just a little marathon, it’s still good!

Redshirt

Tell that to the people who ran 26.2 miles last Sunday. And half of it uphill because why the hell not?

LemonJello
LemonJello

“You have my attention.”
-Andy Reid

SonOfSpam

So are your stewardesses.

Redshirt

Cincinnati – At Least We’re Not Cleveland

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli

Tell that to him a few times and once he’s done weeping tell him to get the fuck off your stoop.

LemonJello
LemonJello

Hahahahahahahah…that’s so…HEY! wait a goll-durned minute!
-Cleveland

Senor Weaselo

SonOfSpam

Paxton (Mariners) has no-hit the Blue Jays thru 8.

The last Blue Jay to get a hit was Roberto Osuna.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

It happened! It really actually happened! OMG!

litre_cola

As I am not a Jays fan, a Canadian pitcher no hitting them in Toronto is excellent stuff.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

As a Mariners fan, this is the best thing that’s happened to them since… *checks notes* … Felix’s perfect game in 2015!

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli

Wow. I didn’t know good things happen to Mariners fans.

SonOfSpam

(shrug) some of them lived through Mount St. Helens I guess.

LemonJello
LemonJello

They can’t be Supersonics fans anymore?

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Fuck David Stern, Clay Bennett, and the late Audrey McClendon.

litre_cola

AND MARK EATON TOO, I HATED HIS STUPID FACE!

SonOfSpam

“Will do.”

– Shawn Kemp

SonOfSpam

Figures this guy did it:

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blaxabbath

What’s the deal with buying “unlocked” phones? Like, our work has an account with Sprint (I have no idea what the benefit to this agreement is) and I need to get two guys smart phones — they’re old and i can’t get away with allowing them to use flip phones any longer. But since they aren’t “eligible” , is this where I just go online and buy an unlocked one? And then, what, just take it down to Sprint and have it hooked up? Is it that simple?

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Yes.

blaxabbath

Sprint ain’t gonna charge me $200 to activate the new phone? I feel there needs to be a catch.

SonOfSpam

Go to a Sprint store and ask the Sprintern. GET IT “SPRINTERN”

LemonJello
LemonJello

Likely reaction:
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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

They shouldn’t. Especially if you have a corporate account.

SonOfSpam

And what about that rap? Is that even music?

(never gotten an unlocked phone because I’m too old for figgerin stuff out)

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I posted this last night, but SpritzerFellerDon made it relevant again:

Fuck Pete Coors

https://www.denverpost.com/2018/05/07/pete-coors-colorado-craft-beer-war/

litre_cola

Greeted by a woman who grabbed my suitcase by accident at Grande Prairie airport this morning that had a trucker hat with “FUCK” embroidered in lovely cursive. Welcome to Northern Alberta.

LemonJello
LemonJello

Mrs_cola did some shopping while you were gone?

litre_cola

She is home with Deci so that means I am in my hotel room stoned as hell.
I am going to get to sleep tonight, I have never looked forward to anything more in my life.

Insomnia is coming for sure.

SonOfSpam

Next, solve the mystery of why you’re in a hotel room in Northern Alberta.

(I woke up in Alberta once. She was surprised.)

blaxabbath

I had a local beer when I was in Minneapolis this weekend.

It was pretty good.

LemonJello
LemonJello

Hotdish IPA?

Berserker Ale?

Ya, You Betcha Lager?

blaxabbath

I also had a deep dish pizza (I know it’s not Chicago but i went to local place with good reviews) and, frankly, I’ve never had a NY slice anywhere near as good as what that deep dish was.

LemonJello
LemonJello

Would you like to play a game?

Spent the weekend traveling to/from Boone, NC to get OrangeJello’s belongings from her dorm in preparation for the end of the school year.

Guess who gets a call asking if someone’s car keys are in one of the boxes we retrieved?

Bonus: Guess how much it costs to overnight a set of car keys?

Children are the reason I drink.

scotchnaut

“Drink For The Children.”

-Lemonjello

LemonJello
LemonJello

Indeed.
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Senor Weaselo

I’m surprised I haven’t become an alcoholic from teaching elementary school kids after-school violin. In groups. And sometimes martial arts.

LemonJello
LemonJello

Vio Lin Kung Fu? Cool.

I am amazed that anyone would choose to be a teacher – I see the packs of the little hellions roving my museum and I have to remind myself that I can’t talk to them like I did my Marines.

Senor Weaselo

It pays the Senor Weaselo Student Loan Fund during the slow season.

Redshirt

If its your keys – worth the cost of an overnight.
If its their keys – teach them about an ancient artifact known as a “bus schedule”.

LemonJello
LemonJello

They were her keys, but it’s for MY car that she’s had the privilege of using.

I better get a gott-dammed GREAT Father’s Day gift.

Senor Weaselo

Not just one, but TWO kitschy ties!

scotchnaut

/watched 5 minutes of Utah/Houston

“Please! Make it stop-I beg you!”

litre_cola

I did the exact same thing.

ballsofsteelandfury

Experiment:

Spoiler:

Spoiler

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Redshirt

Test:

[spoiler title=” “] blah

FUCK YOU, INTERNET! YOU SUCK!

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

You need to close the spoiler tag.

[/spoiler]

Redshirt

I’m an idiot.

Spoiler
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Redshirt

Cobra Kai

Don’t know how to use spoiler tag. Don’t like how Season 1 ended. Sends wrong message.

scotchnaut

Cobra Kai

“Sweep the living room!”

-“test”

ballsofsteelandfury

Looks like you just need a return between the html tags.

Redshirt

Reds has young pitchers but no bats? Trade good bat of the bench for an injury prone pitcher.

So nice of the Factory of Sadness to open a summer plant in Cincinnati.

scotchnaut

“If only there was something slightly more entertaining than baseball.”*

-*Cricket

Redshirt

(this morning)

“Oh, yeah. The primary’s today. At this rate, this may be the last Republican ballot I do. I may as well do my homework.”

(turns on TV to (of course) a political ad)
(ominous voice) “D.C. DeWine and Hillary voted for amnesty.”
(proudful voice) “Trump and Mary Taylor supports The Wall.”

(turns off TV)

“Well that was easy. Mike DeWine, you’ve got my vote!”

scotchnaut

Redshirt, have you thought of changing your handle to “Lightblueshirt”?

/just sayin’

Redshirt

“Did you just ask an Ohio State Alum to wear a blue shirt?”

Alignment Change:
Republican +2
Hatred +5

scotchnaut

Bloods. Crips. It’s all the same, really.

Redshirt

Did you just say Ohio State is equal to Michigan? Are you trying to make me Democrat or a Trumpican, because I’m confused here?

Senor Weaselo

As long as you don’t become Brownshirt.

scotchnaut

Blue Jays taking on the Mariners-It’s game 35 of a 428 game season.

#catchtheexcitement

SonOfSpam

Dylan Bundy is Talented, part 46…first five KC hitters against him tonight have gone single, homer, homer, homer, and walk.

SonOfSpam

Next two hitters were walk, homer. Seven batters, seven runs, no outs.

This guy is the worst Bundy who’s ever lived.

Senor Weaselo

Has anyone checked the news for a man jumping out of the plane? I’m pretty sure tWBS is en route, right?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Not until the morning.

I’m considering jumping. And also just blowing up the plane and taking everyone with me.

(shhhhh….don’t tell TSA)

scotchnaut

Everyone yaks about the karate thingy but this is where Ralph really shines…