Before we begin, obligatory:

Lazy, yes, but do you really think I’m going to pass up a chance to show you Susanna Hoffs in a skimpy outfit?

Fuck and no.  Damn, she can still get it.

Speaking of, can the Egyptian National Team get it in the World Cup?  “It” being, of course, the best result they can hope for which would be to get out of the Group Stage?

Well, it all depends on whether their best player, Liverpool’s Mo Salah, goes into the World Cup healthy. As of press time, he still has to play the Champions League Final against Real Madrid in the Ukrainian capital of Kiev/Kyiv.  Given that Russia is also in Egypt’s group, I would not be surprised if something weird happened in Ukraine.

I’m sure King Hippo is looking up the odds right now of Mo Salah suffering an injury that will result in him missing the World Cup.  Assuming, though, that he makes it through healthy, it is worth spending a little time getting to know him.

Point the First:  Is it proof that England is one of the most racist countries on Earth that Mohamed Salah Ghaly goes by the non-threatening “Mo” nickname?

Mr. Salah started at his hometown club in Egypt (El Mokawloon) before moving on to Basel after impressing during a friendly with the Egypt U23 team, Chelsea, Fiorentina (on loan after pissing Mourinho off), Roma (on loan after he decided he didn’t like Florence but preferred Rome), Roma on contract, and then Liverpool (boy, knocking out Roma in the Champions League semis must have been AWKWARD!).

He has proven to be quite popular in Liverpool given his propensity to score goals.  He even has his own chant!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UhuUYE7ub0s

Can we turn up the religious insensitivity up a notch?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3GsQ1XzTGFI

There we go.  Those are the English football fans we all know and can’t stand!

He will turn 26 on the day Egypt opens the World Cup against Uruguay in Yekaterinburg.  That can’t be good for Uruguay.   Incidentally, one of his nicknames is “The Pharaoh” while the Egyptian team’s official nickname is “The Pharaohs”.

As for the team itself, this is Egypt’s first World Cup in 28 years.  In their last appearance in Italy 1990, the Pharaohs tied the Netherlands 1-1, tied Ireland 0-0, and lost to England by 1-0. All things considering, not a shabby showing at all.

Their coach is an Argentinian, Héctor Cúper, and he has coached in a wide variety of places.  His best years were at Inter in Milan in the early 2000s. The rest of the team is made up of players from the Egyptian league, the Saudi league (interesting given they play each other in the group stage), the EPL, and Omar Gaber, who plays defense for Los Angeles FC in MLS!

Most players are in the prime age range for futbol players (mid to late 20s) except for goalkeeper Essam El-Hadary who is 45 and ,quite frankly, putting all of us DFOers to shame.

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Schedule

15 JUN 2018 – 17:00 Local time, 05:00 Pacific, Ekaterinburg Arena, Ekaterinburg
EGYPT v URUGUAY

19 JUN 2018 – 21:00 Local time, 11:00 Pacific, Saint Petersburg Stadium, Saint Petersburg
RUSSIA v EGYPT

25 JUN 2018 – 17:00 Local time, 07:00 Pacific, Volgograd Arena, Volgograd
SAUDI ARABIA v EGYPT

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Prognosis

The first game looms large.  If the Egyptians can manage a tie against Uruguay, the rest of the schedule unfolds nicely for them.  Another tie against the home team and a win against Saudi Arabia might be able to get them through to the Elimination stages.

BTW, if Russia doesn’t have triple or quadruple security at the Saudi Arabia/Egypt game, then I don’t even know if they care if there is an attack on their World Cup.

I say that Egypt will ride the Salah wave as far as he can take them.  If the rest of the team can get close to his level, they have a decent chance to move on.  The defense doesn’t give up too many goals, so, in a tight game, anything can happen and any magic from Salah will help them get a result.

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Predicción

I say that Egypt makes it out of the group at the expense of the hosts.  #2 in the group.

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Vital Statistics

Ms. Universe:

National Dish:

Koshary/Koshari/Kushari/Koushary

A combination of rice, pasta, garbanzos, lentils, and spices, it looks fucking delicious and something that Yeah Right needs to cook on one of these Sunday Gravies: