Your “Make Sure To Get Rid Of The White Robes In The Basement” Tuesday Evening Open Thread

Beerguyrob

Beerguyrob

A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
Beerguyrob

NFL News:

  • The new Panthers owner is going to be David Tepper, the Appaloosa Management hedge fund creator who is also a minority owner of the Steelers.
    • He’s worth $11 billion, and is apparently paying $2.2 billion in cash.
      • Higher bids were turned down in favour of a single buyer paying 100% of the purchase both himself & up-front.
    • He’s expected to be confirmed at the May owners meetings, once he puts his minority share in the Steelers up for sale.
    • He sounds fun to hang around with:
      • “If you look up ‘demented, narcissistic scumbag,’ you’ll see my name calling Trump that,” he reportedly told a student at Carnegie Mellon University last month. “Just Google those three words.”
      • Deadspin has all the dirt, if you want it.
  • New Jersey is expected to have its first sportsbook opened by May 28th, in response to yesterday’s Supreme Court ruling.
    • It will be at Monmouth Park race track.
    • Orrin Hatch of Utah is planning to introduce legislation towards helping create the “integrity fee” that the NFL has talked about needing in order to monitor the effect of legalized gambling on its sport.
  • Break out the champagne juice boxes – Eli’s memorabilia fraud case has been resolved.
    • A settlement was reached between Eli, the Giants, two equipment managers & the contracted sports memorabilia company and the three collectors suing over being sold “game-worn” equipment that may or may not have been actual game-used product.
      • At the center of the dispute were messages from Manning to a team equipment manager asking for helmets “that can pass as game used.”
        • It would have come down to interpretation:
          • “…that can pass (the test/scrutiny) as game used”
          • “…that can pass (meaning, faked) as game used”
    • No details were announced.
    • No word on whether the League will investigate this, with eyes towards possible discipline.

Tonight’s sports:

  • NHL:
    • Lightning at Capitals – 8:00PM | NBCSN / Sportsnet
  • NBA:
    • Cavaliers at Celtics – 8:30PM | ESPN / TSN
  • MLB:
    • Blue Jays at Mets – 7:00PM | Sportsnet
    • Cardinals at Twins – 8:00PM | FS1
  • WWE:
    • Smackdown Live! – 8:00PM | USA / Sportsnet360

Tonight’s NHL drama – “Will the Caps blow their 2-0 lead?”

Beerguyrob
Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.

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JustStopDudeUnsurprisedRikki-Tikki-DeadlyLow Commander of the Super SoldiersSenor Weaselo Recent comment authors
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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

I’m still awake because I am immensely stupid.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’m thinking I should pace myself but given I’m about to be sitting on a plane for the next ten hours I am not sure there would be much point.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Now that I am happily settled in the business class lounge I regret not coming to the airport five hours early instead of just two. They have Buffalo Trace that you can just pour yourself. As much as you want. You can just take it!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

And beer, and sake…

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

They even have little private shower rooms. My wife was not amused when I asked if she wanted to join the “United Club”.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Her loss.

I assume you masturbated in there so at least you can claim membership.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Artist’s quick and shitty depiction of RTD trying to board the plane:

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yeah right

There’s an app that tells you if you’re brushing your teeth properly?

Senor Weaselo

You’re doing it wrong no matter what.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

When is hibernation season?

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Starts Sep 9, 7:20 CT

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

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Fronkenshteen

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Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Paging Balls of Steel… PAGING BALLS OF STEEL!!!

https://www.sincityplay.com/worldrecord/

ballsofsteelandfury

First off, I LOVE it’s at the Embassy Suites! 🤣😂🤣
Second, it requires a pass and it’s about $225-$325 per pass for the World Record attempt.
Thirdly, I’m thinking I’d prefer attending the Slutolympics.

ballsofsteelandfury

CLEARLY, I’m meant to participate in the Slutolympics:

SLUT OLYMPICS
Hosted by SlutGarden, Sign up on site and compete for your chance to win sexy prizes Teams Welcome. Contests include:

Deep throating, Climb to facial mount, Speed Boner, Best Balls, So You Think You Can Lap Dance?

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Someday, the non-union Mexican equivalent of Ryan Reynolds will play you in your biography.

Senor Weaselo

I look forward to the DFO team, Pants Fly Open.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Goddamnit, Weaselo, “Fly Flies Open” was sitting RIGHT THERE.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

This is why genetic experimentation should be tightly regulated.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

This is why the Army conducted Operation: Paperclip after the war.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Who put Xzibit in charge of the Air Force

SonOfSpam

YO DAWG I HEARD YOU LIKE PLANES THAT LOOK CIRCUMCISED.

SonOfSpam

Currently on FXX: The Yvan Eht Nioj episode of The Simpsons. I really really love this episode.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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SonOfSpam

The Girl With The Pearl Necklace

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Currently on FXXX: Debbie Does Springfield

litre_cola

Just watched a few Moroccan music videos for a post. Interesting….

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Guess there wasn’t much point in paying to keep the DC metro open longer.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

It costs to much to let it burn 24/7

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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SonOfSpam

While I feel like this might not be legitimate, I am still a little aroused.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Aroused….. amused….. it can be both. Or the starting Bengals quarterback coloring book.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

I was 12 years old when they dug the Metro Orange Line through Clarendon, right past my grade school. A subway construction project is the greatest playground ever. Years later, when I moved to L.A. my first job was in the Hollywood First National Building at Hollywood & Highland (back when it was a shit hole) and lo & behold they dug a subway right next to the building.

Twice, man. Twice.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Come to Portland.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Eggs.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Nice eggs.

I’ll take two, but I get to pick.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Wow

SonOfSpam

“How would you like to meet a Trump?”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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SonOfSpam

She got Morked.