Your “Well, There’s Nowhere For Them To Go But Up, Right?” Thursday Evening Open Thread

Godspeed, Oxipug.

NFL News:

  • Oh boy – The Browns are this year’s “Hard Knocks” team.
    • The Browns aren’t especially happy about it, but their only option for avoiding it was firing Hue Jackson, since teams with new coaches don’t have to be on it.
    • My favourite scene will be when Jimmy Haslam shoots at what he thinks are raccoons rooting through the Browns garbage, only to find it’s Johnny Manziel looking for Atavan.
  • Rule change: The NFL is debating whether to make ejections subject to replay review.
    • Under the proposed new rule, disqualification of a player will be added to the list of reviewable plays, which also includes possession of the ball, touching the ball, touching the ground, plays governed by the goal line, sidelines, line of scrimmage, line to gain, number of players on the field and proper game administration.
  • Also up for discussion are a new series of rules designed to cut down on concussions during kickoffs, including:
    • The elimination of running starts for kickoff coverage teams;
    • A requirement that eight of the 11 men on the return team must be aligned in the “setup zone” within 15 yards of the ball;
    • No blocking within the “setup zone” until the ball is touched or hits the ground;
    • The elimination of two-man wedge blocks; and
    • The kickoff team must have five men lined up on either side of the ball, a move that will limit schemes designed to get free runners in coverage down the field.

It’s a little quiet today, so buckle up for some history.

World War One Centenary

May 17, 1918 – 150 Sinn Fein leaders & allies are arrested in Ireland and interned.

A.K.A – The “German Plot”

In 1914, a former high-ranking official in the British Home Office, Sir Roger Casement, set out for Germany in hopes of securing an alliance for Irish Republicans with Germany, in hopes of obtaining military assistance in exchange for distracting Britain via pursuit of Irish independence. He was seeking a quid pro quo, wherein Germany would recognize a free Ireland & help the separatists pursue that dream, and the effort Britain would need to put into quelling the state of rebellion would hopefully distract from their European efforts in The Great War.

To that end, Casement attempted to recruit Irishmen captured by the Germans as British POWs as an “Irish Brigade” to return to Ireland and fight for independence. However, he was only ever able to recruit 56 men, and abandoned the strategy shortly before the Easter Rising of 1916.

The Germans were willing to provide military assistance to the rebels, in the form of guns and ammunition, notably 20,000 rifles, one million rounds of ammunition, and explosives. However, the transport was intercepted by the British (& scuttled by its crew) and Casement was arrested trying to sneak back into Ireland. The Easter Rising failed (as an assault), Casement was tried & executed, and the British now had “proof” that Irish independence was a German plot.

Here’s a documentary on the Rebellion narrated by Liam Neeson, with insight into the confusion caused by the loss of the German weapons.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hf7feoyT-ys

In April 1918, one member of Casement’s Irish Brigade, John Dowling, was arrested trying to return to Ireland after having been dropped off the west coast in County Claire by a German U-boat. Under interrogation, he “admitted” that the Germans were planning an assault on Ireland, in order to distract the British from the European war effort. The discovery of this “German Plot“, and Irish Republican leaders open advocacy of resisting conscription

led the Dublin Castle administration to arrest & intern members of the Sinn Fein leadership.

The irony of the situation was that, just two years removed from the British atrocities committed in reprisal for the Easter Rising, the German Plot was viewed by most Irish as little more than British “black intelligence”, a contrivance used to rationalize a policy position that needed justification. Between 1916 and 1918 British Ministers did not recognize that Sinn Fein was a popular, indigenous movement, and instead clung to the notion that it was a German conspiracy; this delegitimised it and produced a vain hope that the problem would die away if the German intrigues were crushed. The arrests of the mostly moderate Sinn Fein leadership, who acquiesced in order to win the propaganda victory,

as the more extreme members were able to flee, helped alienate the bulk of southern Ireland from the British state and led to dramatically increased support for both Sinn Fein and full independence.

Sinn Fein would win election victory later in 1918, and use the size of their victory to declare unilateral independence, kicking off – depending on where your relatives are from – the 1919-1921 Anglo-British War or the Irish War of Independence. In retrospect, the German Plot was the last step towards Irish independence, even though the British didn’t recognize it at the time.


Tonight’s sports:

  • NHL:
    • Lightning at Capitals – 8:00PM | NBCSN / Sportsnet (Game 4; Caps lead 2-1)
  • NBA:
    • no game scheduled
  • MLB:
    • no national broadcast in the USA
    • A’s at Jays – 7:00PM | Sportsnet1
  • College baseball:
    • LSU at Auburn – 7:00PM | ESPNU
    • TCU at Texas – 7:30PM | FS1

It’s Victoria Day weekend in Canada, so I’m off until Tuesday. Seamus has you covered with teh usual Friday sexy, and then it’s surprise, Surprise, SURPRISE!

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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My day wasn’t so bad after all.

Brick Meathook

I can’t stop laughing at this.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Mr. Ayo

BOOP!

Spanky Datass

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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GILLIGAN!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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WCS

Just another autumn Saturday in Alabama.

Senor Weaselo

Always look on the briiiiiiight side of life!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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blaxabbath

I’ve now watched This Is America twice. I don’t get the song or the video.

But it’s cool to be out of touch now, right?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised

You either die an Old Dirty Bastard, or live long enough to see yourself promoting speculative bubbles.

King Hippo

the skill level in this Liga MX final is just ASSSSS

King Hippo

yet I will still gladly take the two cheap goals and the $900 GAMBLOR win

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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WCS

Seamus doesn’t seem to be here, so I can’t talk crap on the Crapitals. Blowing a 2-0 series after being the Pens wouldn’t be Peak Caps, but, it’s be pretty damn close.

King Hippo

dunno about tWBS, but I sure am chuckling at it

/Ice MRSA will shit themselves in Game 5, count on it

WCS

Ice MRSA is now among my favorite DFOisms.

Coincidentally, it’s how Ohio State roots out “pansies” on their hockey and football teams.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised

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WCS

I’d have gone with “LEEERRRROOOOYYYYY JENKIIINNNNNSSSSSSSS!!!!” but that’s just me.

Unsurprised

But the irony. The irony!

...

So this is new. I was blocked on Twitter by someone for *agreeing* with them.

Time to log off, I guess.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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ballsofsteelandfury

Toluuuuuca!! 1-0 in the first leg of the final.

King Hippo

I plopped $100 on Santos at +900 so BOOOOOO HIISSSSSS

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

You know what, props to Canada for stepping up their game. This is isolated Florida-grade crazy.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gz3iSVaH_nk

Unsurprised

Did the Burger King takeover include requiring a purchase in order to get the bathroom code?

...

So I arrived home today enraged because of a conversation I heard on the train. Basically, a guy was getting smug over a rabbi who fought for Palestinian rights but couldn’t get a job. “Well, you politics matter when finding a job.” I can’t help but wonder if those goofy-looking dude would be singing the same tune over that beef jerky of a man that is getting hell for being overtly and proudly racist on camera.

Yeah, I may be drunk to take an edge off the rage WHAT OF IT

Unsurprised

Respect to the rabbi for standing by his principles

...

I know! I wanted to know more about the rabbi but the guys talking about it were standard pro-Israel and everyone-killed-was-a-terrorist-pro-Israel so it ended with them agreeing that “they’re surrounded on all sides by people who hate them so what do you expect?” and I actually had to get up and walk to the train vestibule so I didn’t try tip my seat in two.

Unsurprised

This is why I’m an antisocial asshole who spends 99% of my time in public wearing earbuds.

...

This one of the few times I didn’t wear earbuds and boy did I pay for it.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

As I mentioned elsewhere, it was wonderful being in Japan and not being able to understand a single thing anyone around me was saying.

King Hippo

have you guys tried just not leaving your bedroom except to get coffee? It mostly works FOAR Hippo.

Unsurprised

I mostly just do that, but my rent is due on the first of every month and they don’t take used Kleenex.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised

That reminds me: Is Ufford’s Twitter avatar still two T-Rexes boning?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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WCS

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5eHkjPCGXKQ

Lil’ WCS just let out a wail eerily similar to Plant here.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised

RIP

/Pours one ou— Waitasec

Unsurprised

I may be in a shitty place job-wise, but at least I’m not facing disciplinary sanctions by the state bar for being a racist asshole and having a documented history of numerous other instances of being a violent, racist asshole.

...

On one hand, I don’t believe unpopular opinions should deprive a person of the ability to live.

On the other hand, this fucker gleefully backs policy that brings down a hundred times of the abuse he’s receiving now on people who have done nothing wrong, so perhaps getting taste of the vile garbage he wants to dish out is proper punishment.

Unsurprised

I know people who’ve been disbarred for much more chickenshit reasons than the perfectly valid one that he is a violent and belligerent racist whose public conduct has shown he utterly lacks the fitness and character required to continue enjoying the privilege of practicing law.

Unsurprised

Besides, he’ll be on that right-wing-grift gravy train any day now. There are 3,000 American billionaires and I’m sure at least 2,000 of them would be happy to bankroll his stupid ass.

...

It’s incredible but not unsurprising that professional victimhood has become the career du jour for conservative know-nothings.

Unsurprised

Fascism has two components, and one is a self-entitled victimhood complex.

rockingdog

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Unsurprised

Manwich is always there for a bro.

...

Holy shit I want to hit Mike Ditka in the face with a 2×4.

Unsurprised

Is it a day that ends in ‘y?’

Unsurprised

You’re also going to need something heavier. That mustache has 10 AC

...

In the pre-Trump days I wish he had run for Senate as an “ultra conservative” just to get embarrassed but now I’m 100% convinced Illinois would elect him.

...

Goddamn it, this delay is so long my BAC is going to be Harry Caray before it starts

WCS

Is your favorite planet the sun?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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scotchnaut

Great pass by Ovechkin!

scotchnaut

Gotta admit-the jury is out on my multiple chicken wings/cottage cheese/2 beer limit diet.

Unsurprised

Did you get the O.J. jury (criminal)?

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Low Commander driving in traffic, artist’s conception.

rockingdog

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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rockingdog

hahahaha that bus got CRUSHED!!!!

scotchnaut

I just poured some corn salsa onto a shrimp pad thai dish because Donald Trump is still your president. Seriously, fix your shit or I’m going to make a peanut butter lasagna.*

*You don’t want a peanut butter lasagna

WCS

White People Continue to be the Worst, Part Eleventy Billion:

https://www.gq.com/story/white-baby-names-2018?mbid=social_twitter

...

On one hand, white people deliberately misspelling names and pretending it’s original is embarrassing and telling about we appropriate all the time while being bad at it.

On the other hand, I appreciate these names properly regard C as the useless letter it is.

rockingdog

bahahaha

nomonkeyfun

Bonus: If you have three kids that start with “K”, you get a free sheet from Bed, Bath & Beyond.

Unsurprised

Curt Schilling must have a majority stock ownership then.

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Senor Weaselo

Ooh, I was banking on the wrong righty with a temper and steroids.
/Wait did Curt Schilling also do roids or did he not need them for the rage?

Unsurprised

Probably

Unsurprised

White supremacy is in the “Beyond” section.

ballsofsteelandfury

The Caps have wasted a 6 (SIX!) minute power play.

Yeah, they’re not winning this game…

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Make that eight…

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Bragger!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

THESE CAPITALS I CALL THEM GARRETT REID BECAUSE THEIR DEATH THROES INCLUDE SHITTING THE BED RATHER SPECTACULARLY.

litre_cola

I might be Emo-Carr. 1st tunes i go to are the Cure

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“FUCKING PUSSIES ALWAYS LOOKING FOR THEIR PRECIOUS CURE!” – Greg Schiano

...

Cubs are in rain delay so I’m getting drunk

theeWeeBabySeamus

– Harry Caray like hundreds of times

...

I’d die duplicating Harry Caray’s bar streak

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Senor Weaselo

I guess you could say you’d die committing… *puts on shades* Harry Caray.

Unsurprised

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scotchnaut

Food. I want. Anyone?

JustStopDude

So…the Caps’ usual playoff implosion is happening a little late this year…

scotchnaut

The Caps are down by one on their home ice. smgh*

*shaking my goddamn helmet

scotchnaut

The Lightning power play is…Really Good.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Well, the Capitals looked good for all of five minutes here.

JustStopDude

If any of you remember, the last Rose Parade, Amazon TV had Will Ferrell and Molly Shannon cover it completely in character. It ended up with a lot of pissed off morons not getting the joke.

Apparently this weekend, they are doing it again for one of those inbred royals in England weddings things…

Senor Weaselo

Will the Brits get the joke? FIND OUT NEXT!
/Probably not
//Imagine if they had gotten Clarkson, Hammond, and May…

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Prince Harry’s not inbred! Unless cavalry officer James Hewitt was related to the royal family somehow.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Nice job making a no-look pass in front of your own goal, stupid.

scotchnaut

Alex Ovechkin-

Biggest Strength-lightning-fast shot release

Biggest Weakness-Zubaz pants

ballsofsteelandfury

Have I mentioned how much I love these?

scotchnaut

WeeBabyShamu shows up just before the start of the Caps game. Coincidence?

No.*

*Weed Girl had a previous engagement

theeWeeBabySeamus

She’s working tonight.
Post-hockey dinner tho.

scotchnaut

“Seamus and Weed Girl sitting in a tree. K-I-S-S-I-N-G. First cums Seamus. Then cums Weed Girl. Then cums…I Got Nothing.”

theeWeeBabySeamus

I liked it.

Senor Weaselo

We would have also accepted “First cums Seamus, then oh my God I’m sorry, that doesn’t usually happen I swear”

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hehehe

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I hope Hippo bet the under on the prop bet for the duration of this anthem. Talk about quick and tidy!

Senor Weaselo

They yell at the “red” part of “rocket’s red glare”? That’s dumber than the “O!” for the Orioles, which at least makes sense.

JustStopDude

Obama made them start doing that…fucking Communist…

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

What made it worse is that he did it at the exact same time he was selling the country out to corporate special interests.

herodotus450

I didn’t know they turned hockey into a threeway sport and “never ending repetitive commercials” made it to the Eastern Conference finals.

Unsurprised

Gary Bettman Is An International Disgrace.

Nobody forgets that.

JustStopDude

One of the funniest things about British people is their inability to look at some of the craziest shit they pulled over the years to maintain the empire with a critical eye.

Like of course, there are shit head redneck idiots that still think slavery was a good idea. They are generally shunned in the US. In England, everyone still will argue that the Mau-mau rebellion suppression showed restraint, the Indian subcontinent had no culture or history before the British brutalized it into submission, and that the Irish were the clear bad guys, despite…you know…the death squads that the British funded for decades in Northern Ireland.

herodotus450

Just ask the Druids about how nice the English are,,, oh wait you cant smh

JustStopDude

That would be the Romans…

Senor Weaselo

“You mean apart from from the sanitation, the medicine, education, wine, public order, irrigation, roads, a fresh water system, and public health?” -People’s Front of Judea

Unsurprised

Every time someone breaks out the old “the arc of history bends towards justice” chestnut I think of how the British actually de-industrialized India to make it their own personal farm.

Unsurprised

They fought TWO wars in order to sell opium to the Chinese and to keep them addicted until the twentieth century. They ended African slavery coincidentally around the same time they were importing Chinese and Indian coolies after winning the first opium war.

They invented reservations in Ireland, where it was so successful that the U.S. took that idea and used it on the Native Americans to its genocidal ends.

It really does seem like empires and conquests were much less evil before around, oh … 1492.

litre_cola

Thanks kavamateroger. Been a tough 24 hrs

theeWeeBabySeamus

I missed it last night, but have since heard.

My sincere condolences, my friend.

Brick Meathook

Whatever that is I’m glad you had it. Tough time.

scotchnaut

One of my trusted sources is telling me that Oxipug is pissing St. Petersdog off by snoring as loudly as a foghorn. Everything is going to be okay.

scotchnaut

“I want to see who likes me! I really, really want to see who likes me!”

-Sally Fields’ acceptance speech, re-purposed

ballsofsteelandfury

Right?!? Me too.

ballsofsteelandfury

Once again, I LOVE when you get educational / historical on our asses.

scotchnaut

Now that Sidney Crosby is out of the playoffs and has all that free time on his hands, maybe he could develop a coke habit or something.

#fingerscrossed

scotchnaut

The Caps are 7-1 on the road this playoffs. Wah?

herodotus450

Which means they must be like, 3-6 at home?

scotchnaut

3-4, I think. I don’t math well at all.

yeah right

This is a pretty long read but I don’t think I’ve read a better example of the drug, the experience and it’s possibilities.

I also know what my next career could look like.

https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2018/05/15/magazine/health-issue-my-adventures-with-hallucinogenic-drugs-medicine.html

Redshirt

So to make kickoffs safer, they are forcing kicking and returning players to be 16 yards apart. And RBs, WRs, and CBs are on coverage teams and if they get by a OL or DL, they will now have about forty yards to get into full speed while the kick returner is also running at full speed.

This is going to be bad.

ballsofsteelandfury

Or spectacularly good.

scotchnaut

My own “German Plot” involved getting up at 3am and slashing the tires/pouring sugar into the gas tank of my nasty Teutonic mother-in-law’s SUV. I was foiled by the ‘snooze’ function of my alarm clock.

ballsofsteelandfury

Cleveland’s German Plot involves Saran Wrap.