Hope you’ve sobered up from the Champions League final enough to enjoy the evening with your family. Or, in more DFO terms, I hope you’re pushing through ’til dawn.
Fun Beerguyrob fact for Memorial Day: all my uncles are soldiers. My family originally comes from northern Ontario, and during the 1950s and 1960s there were some active NORAD and DEW bases jointly run by Canadian & US forces.
I asked one of my aunts once why she married an American. She asked if I’ve ever been to Kirkland Lake, and then said, “Rob, I looked at the town, then I looked at your Uncle. I knew no one in that town could take me the places he could. It was a pretty easy decision.” And that’s why I get to shop at the PX every time I visit San Antonio.
Tonight’s sports: slim picking, my friends.
- NBA:
- Rockets at Warriors – 9:00PM | TNT
- Game 6; Rockets lead 3-2
- Rockets at Warriors – 9:00PM | TNT
- MLB: either
- Giants at Cubs – 7:00PM | FOX
- Astros at Indians – 7:00PM | FOX
Hope you’re having a great weekend. Be looking good out there.
Real good.
http://www.thedailybuzzmag.com/woman-sues-p0rn-company-after-accidentally-servicing-her-brother-during-a–glory-hole–scene/68182/?utm_campaign=social&utm_source=social&utm_medium=u14p8337
Pretty sure I was married to her.
Is this when the real action happens?
What are the odds that both road teams win Game 7? Because a Warriors-Cavaliers finals is the last thing in the world I want to see.
Probably 100% since you feel that way
I’d have gone with a Trump Presidency, but, to each their own.
Wut?
(PTFC voice) “WE’VE GOT A PLAYER HEAR, FOLKS”
He’s special
So smrt.
Yeah, you’re not gonna win playoff games when you score 16 points in the third quarter and 9 in the fourth.
…and yet another pointless fourth quarter. In twelve games of these conference finals there has been ONE fourth quarter that mattered.
Do you think Kevon Looney was forced to change the spelling of his first name whence Kevin Durant joined the Warriors? Cause I do.
No; Looney is on his birth certificate.
A friend of mine is attending her 53rd performance of a particular band – who can guess which band that is?
Hint: It’s not Phish.
Either GWAR or Up With People.
U2! No, Stones! No, the B-52s (because its number 53)!
ICP
Answer: Dave Matthews Band
Whoa.
The only thing worse than the Dave Matthews Band is a Dave Matthews Tribute Band.
And The Cure.
Apparently someone tried to smuggle 50 boxes of cookies out of the Orlando Airport
If I didn’t know better.
Credit to the Warriors, they have put up a LOT of points in this half.
Cara Koscinksi ordered a graduation cake from the John’s Island Publix, requesting the phrase “Congrats Jacob! Summa Cum Laude Class of 2018”. Publix ruined the order by removing “cum”, because “cum” is “profane.”
I saw that the manager offered to replace it and the customer was basically like “no, I’d rather just bitch about it.”
Good for them.
Apparently everyone’s summer car is that 3-wheeled Slingshot. I saw like 10 of them walking to the subway station
Now that the lead is safe KD will come out and play.
Houston is getting mauled on the offensive end..and i fucking hate the Rockets
Yeah, this is gonna be one of those quarters where nothing is a foul unless Houston does it.
James Cameron’s wet dream
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uu79Y1Qn6pM
finally call a moving screen.
This is absolutely disgusting. These refs should be fired.
– Portland, circa 2004
Also Sacramento, 2002
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JITpFPAWPaE
THIS HOUSTON ROCKETS TEAM I CALL THEM ANDY REID’S SECOND WISH BECAUSE NOW WE HAVE INFINITE TURNOVERS.
Second? Is the first All You Can Eat Ribs at a place that never closes?
Third is a son?
KD is reincarnated Hitler
Klay needs his own team
A traveling call!
Everyone take a shot.
Can Houston piss away a ten point lead in less than two minutes? Let’s find out!
Nope, it took a full 2:45
A: Double, double, home run, double, single.
Q: How have Mike Trout’s at bats gone so far tonight?
Q: How did Balls’ dates go with his last girlfriend?
Translation: Boobs, boobs, anal, boobs, conversation.
Q: What was Andy Reid’s order at In-N-Out? [Note: he was disappointed when they were unable to make the “home run” for him once he explained to them that it was the burger equivalent of a Denny’s grand slam.]
You ever have the 4×4? Tried that in HS. Once.
I used to (in my 20s) pretty regularly eat 2 double-doubles, and now I look like…me.
I’ve done two double-doubles just once, on my birthday three or four years ago.
A buddy of mine from work that’s bigger than you wears this shirt:
If he’s bigger than I am, he’s not wearing THAT shirt.
But that’s a good shirt.
I have zero interest in that or any of the “secret menu” stuff – the regular items suit me just fine.
You haven’t lived until you’ve had “animal style”.
Yes, that applies to sex too.
The fries animal-style are also excellent.
My cat threw up on my chest the other night which is basically the same thing as I understand it.
You have strange fetishes, but to each his own.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7R-aDOikqpI
I don’t know why Trump supporters are yelling at Hispanics to speak English; they should be yelling at Shaq.
Folks
I cut the hell out of my finger this morning while working on my dad’s mower then about an hour ago I got butted in the nuts (PHRASING!) by a five-day old calf. Good times!
/pours tall Bourble
I wear gloves all the time now. You’d think I was Curley from Of Mice and Men with how careful I am about taking care of my hands.
By the time I got the glove off it was half full of blood. Turns out that bloody cow hide dries as stiff as hard plastic.
No joke, my dad bought a black finger sleeve for his finger that was hurting. Yes, it’s the middle finger and it looks as hilarious as you might imagine.
Gentlemen
I get the feeling the refs are going to make sure we get a Game 7 here too.
It’s the NBA. I’m surprised it’s just a “feeling”.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lWIeVTs94rI
Yes, it’s that kind of night…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g7gutsi1uT4
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u7K72X4eo_s
These are stills from home movies my dad took in 1956 at Camp Alert in the (then) Northwest Territories, the northernmost permanently inhabited spot on Earth. He was a civilian contractor for Philco-Ford putting in the early warning radar systems; engineers who endured the hardships of this posting were promoted rapidly and this assignment made his career as very young man. St. John’s NFLD was the base of operations and they would also work at locations in Greenland. As a bonus they gave him a Newfie girl who also is my mom.
That’s quite a benefits package!
Brick’s mom being a Newfoundland Terrier explains a lot
Hmmmmmm….I think I don’t wanna be alone with the Meathook now.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m6shktwDwzM
So i assume your dad killed a shape shifting alien.
Hot Nazi in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade is hot.
Redshirt Diet Update: I’m down 13 pounds. Thank God for diet General Tso Chicken. 290 calories and its not that bad.
I’m having recurring dreams that I’m being hunted by Burger King and Ronald McDonald, though. That either means I miss fast food or I have homosexual feelings I’m repressing. Not sure which one.
Congrats!!
Why not both?
DJ Taj has his oldest son, wife and three very active kids coming over for the next 2 days.
Time to drink in self defense.
Oh my god, how has the Stanley Cup not started yet? That’s ridiculous.
THANK YOU!!!!!!!!
Gary Bettman is an International Disgrace.
So apparently Alicia Silverstone has a new series on something called the Paramount Channel that involves orgies and swinging.
It’s like they know me.
Holy shitballz….i get that channel.
Where is that fucking remote??????????????????????
I guess that means she won’t be tweeting at Kevin Owens anymore
…um…what is the rating of the Paramount Channel? For science, of course.
Homemade kung pao chicken.
WCS likes his chicken spicy.
Nice. I had the Kung Pao a coupla days ago, but not home cooked.
Haven’t done that for a few weeks.
Good shit tho.
It’s surprisingly easy to make and mighty damn delicious.
Next weekend when I’m not grilling things.
Do you use chile de arbol AND Szechuan pepper corns?
Cuz that’s the shit!
This is your Baltimore Orioles Update….
They are 17-35. Which remarkably is NOT the worst record in the Majors (hello, ChiSox), but at 19 games back (on May 26) they do have the biggest deficit.
Buck Showalter will likely get fired soon.
Which is actually good, because every time that fucker gets fired, the team wins the WS the next year.
This has been your Baltimore Orioles Update.
I wasn’t definitely going to make that joke either Monday or during the All-Star Break! Nope, no siree.
My only question is what happens if it’s a mid season firing. Does it go into effect for that year and they pull off a Major League/Rookie of the Year/Little Big League/other sports movie streak and win this year, or does it go into effect the first full season?
Also name it correctly, it’s the Curse of Black Jack McDowell.