Your “Everybody’s Got A Beef” Wednesday Evening Open Thread

Beerguyrob

Beerguyrob

A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
Beerguyrob

NFL News:

  • Luke Kuechly, the fragile JJ Watt of the Carolina Panthers, says he’s “ready to go” for training camp.
    • He’s never not been ready for camp, but by holding him out of contact drills until camp, they’re hoping to extend his season past Week 8.
  • Former Colts GM Ryan Grigson has landed a job in Seattle, after being released by the Cleveland Browns.
    • He should fit in well in Seattle, for they too have an all-pro QB and an offensive line made of cheese.
      • HODOR was a lot easier to catch.
  • DeMarcus Ware is now a Broncos defensive consultant.
    • He retired after twelve years – nine with the Cowboys & three with Denver.
  • On the lawsuit front:
    • The Cowboys are the latest team to be sued by a former cheerleader.
      • At least it’s not for pimping them out like the [Redacteds] did.
      • She is claiming the team violated The Equal Pay Act and Fair Labor Standards Act by not paying minimum wage and overtime.
        • She notes that the most she ever made was $16,516.01, while the Cowboys mascot, Rowdy, made about $65,000, according to the lawsuit.
    • The Rams owe Reggie Bush $12.5 million after his wipeout on their old turf in St. Louis.
      • If you recall, the old Edward Jones dome had a concrete ring that ran around the outside. Reggie Bush wiped out on it & blew his knee.
      • He sued the Rams & the dome for damages & lost wages, and the jury found the Rams 100% liable.
        • $4.95 million in compensatory damages and $7.5 million in punitive damages.

Tonight’s sports & entertainment programming:

  • MLB:
    • Nationals at Yankees – 7:00PM | ESPN
  • WNBA Basketball:
    • Washington Mystics at Connecticut Sun – 7:00PM | ESPN2
  • American Ninja Warrior – Miami Qualifiers – 8:00PM | NBC
  • Masterchef – 8:00PM | FOX
    • In the first skills test of the season, Gordon Ramsay teaches the home cooks how to properly break down a crab, before the contestants must replicate his work.
  • Turner Classic Movies:
    • A Fistful of Dollars – 8:00PM
    • For A Few Dollars More – 10:00PM
  • Archer – 10:00PM | FXX (America)

Tomorrow, the sports world gets off the schneid with the World Cup & US Open. SALVATION!

Beerguyrob
Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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WakezillaMr. AyoBrick MeathookSenor Weaseloblaxabbath Recent comment authors
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Wakezilla

I just submitted my World Cup picks. While the two teams I have reaching the finals is rather dull, the journey to get there is pretty wild. It turns out I’m really high on Croatia and Senegal.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Some kinky ass plane stuff about to go down

blaxabbath

“I think that Michael Cohen is in a very, very bad spot and I think the president is in a very, very bad spot because this is what happens when you trust your innermost secrets to a moron.”

This is funny to me.

Senor Weaselo

Wait, who was trusting who?

Don T

CONFIRMED: This is for the winner of the World Cup pool, to be sent by mail at no cost
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blaxabbath

::checks bracket::

Checks to see what time Total Wine closes.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Shit, I should have paid more attention and taken notes along the way.

blaxabbath

The Tunisia write up was good. People who don’t like Tunisia write ups are even saying so. They don’t want to but, you know, they’re saying it.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

There were good write ups all on all sides. DFO has the best previews.

Senor Weaselo

I mean where else do you learn about an ice rink on Long Island’s chances in the World Cup of Lesser Footy?

blaxabbath

I think cultures that drink more regularly are better. And you guys drink good stuff. Here, the only acceptable casual drinking is piss domestic lagers if more than two days in a row; or anytime before 3pm (Noon on Christmas with holiday booze like an Irish coffee or glass of mulled wine). With the exception of the brunch mimosa.

ALXMAC
ALXMAC

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Shit, picks are due now? I’m fine, I’m fine. I’ll totally nail this.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Am I too late for local commercials? Because this is my favorite:

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Rhett and Link did good work:

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Never too late for a coffee enema.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Evening

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Is that Gianna at the beginning?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Nevermind it’s not. It was too quick, like I would be with Gianna.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

The beginning?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Eh, I don’t have my shit together

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

The End?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Local PSA: Purge before anal.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Cal Bolder and Narda Onyx- JESSE JAMES MEETS FRANKENSTEIN’S DAUGHTER (1966)

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“AMNESTY, n. The state’s magnanimity to those offenders whom it would be too expensive to punish.”
― Ambrose Bierce, The Unabridged Devil’s Dictionary

WCS

Shitty local ads? Can’t leave this one out:

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Glen Lerner laughs at you….

WCS

He’s honest about what he is.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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blaxabbath

Do you guys have Lerner and Rowe; or just Lerner?

Cuz I used to date a chick is law school who said Rowe got punished by the bar in some states.

I think Vegas just has Lerner.

Senor Weaselo

There’s an ad in Spanish for Major World (car dealership) that is just the woman trying to get the dude to pronounce it correctly, because he pronounces it as “Mayor World.” I can’t find it but that’s some self-awareness right there.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Senor Weaselo

Local commercials and nobody’s posted the best one yet?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

I FUCKING WANT TO BUY SOMETHING FROM FLEA MARKET MONTGOMERY!!!!!

♫ It’s just like a mini mall ♫

(shit, they got me didn’t they)
((GODAMMIT!!!!!!))

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Fucking job.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“Baking some cookies.”

-DFO Internet Dad

theeWeeBabySeamus

Those commercials run here locally all the damned time.
Believe it or not, that’s probably the least stupid one.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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litre_cola

Going to see these guys on Saturday!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Senor Weaselo

“Kid, it needs to be a burger now.” -IHOB

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“Kid, you should have let the burger cool down first.” -IHOB

Redshirt
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

LoOk, it won’t be until the end of the year.

/but seriously I bet Trump treats SHS like such dogshit as punishment for abandoning him that she’s gone within a month, and he can’t find anyone to replace her so he cancels briefings entirely.

blaxabbath

Fucking animals.

I mean that is most disrespectful, offensive way possible.

Redshirt

How dare you insult animals by associating them with the Trump Administration!!!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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blaxabbath

I think it’s funny when people star in their own local ‘funny’ commercials.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

People in LA seem confused that I want to use the sidewalks for walking.

litre_cola

Regular walkin or fancy walkin?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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LemonJello
LemonJello

Artist’s concept of BFC:
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ballsofsteelandfury

Sure sign of a person from somewhere else. I give it a month after you move here for you to adapt.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

NEVAR

scotchnaut

I’m headed for bed. Not a single like for MC5? smgdh…

/I thought I knew you guys

Horatio Cornblower

Hey man, I got here late!

WCS

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Gratliff

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scotchnaut

[pushes glasses up nose]

I believe that move is called “The Sikorsky”.

LemonJello
LemonJello

If it was a women’s match would it be the Bell Textron?

scotchnaut

You win this round… NERD!

LemonJello
LemonJello

WOOOOOOO!!!!!
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Redshirt

Senor Weaselo

Goddammit Sunny Gray, part 407.

scotchnaut

Maybe you should branch out and watch other porn actresses…

Redshirt

Don’t tell him there’s more than one. We won’t see him for months.

herodotus450
herodotus450

More than one is my favorite genre ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Horatio Cornblower

Goddamn he is frustrating.

Gratliff

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Horatio Cornblower

Look honey, I like giving it as much as you like getting it, but at some point I gotta come up for air!

herodotus450
herodotus450

BREAKING! BREAKING!
There is an active basedball player with the name “Niko Goodrum”
There is an active basedball player with the name “Niko Goodrum”
THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!

herodotus450
herodotus450

So far tonight he’s hit a homerun and then struck out looking. Usually it’s the other way around with good rum.

Gratliff

Oh yes. It’s Lucha Underground Day!
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scotchnaut

If you listen to certain lucha female wrestlers, they’ll insist that there’s a glass ceiling just above that ladder.

Gratliff

Sexy Star certainly did her part to temper it by going over as LU champion followed by being a huge piece of shit

litre_cola

Wooooo World cup, who we got 1st??? Oppressive regime v dictatorship.
Oh, guess i will go to work.

herodotus450
herodotus450

But I thought the US wasn’t playing?
/Dodges tomatoes from the left and from the right

theeWeeBabySeamus

Dang, you beat me to the joke.
Well done.

litre_cola

I set that up for ya. You’re welcome.

Horatio Cornblower

Shut up and make with the tomatoes.

Wakezilla

When in doubt, go for the country with the more attractive women

theeWeeBabySeamus

Fortunately, the Baltimore Orioles already lost today early in a “getaway day” game, so I won’t be tempted to watch that bullshit tonight.

14 losses in their last 16 outings. Two (count ’em, two) 7 game losing streaks sandwiched around two wins vs the Mets.

Wow Mets, you suck. 😛

LemonJello
LemonJello

“Getaway day” also known as a Baltimore driving test…

Senor Weaselo

Which team was it getaway day for?
/Also it seems like Boston plays Baltimore or someone else shitty every fucking day, seriously

Horatio Cornblower

Hey now, they just had that tough three games series with the White Sox!

and dropped 2 of 3.

scotchnaut

“Reggie Bush gets 12.5 million? Where’s my cut?”

-Reggie Shaved Into A Butterfly

scotchnaut

“A pubic hair joke? You must be over 45. Loser.”

-A Millennial

theeWeeBabySeamus

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LemonJello
LemonJello

Cap’n Murica?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Indeed.

theeWeeBabySeamus

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LemonJello
LemonJello

Thanks to Senor Weaselo, I’m gorging on Battlebots episodes on SCI channel. Suck it tWWL, I CAN survive until greater footy starts back up!

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Senor Weaselo

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Senor Weaselo

That is a larger image than I expected.

herodotus450
herodotus450

[Sees Reggie Bush verdict]
I would like to announce my lawsuit, also against the Rams and the city of St. Louis, for that one time I ate Provel cheese and the ensuing lifetime of therapy it will take to forget it.

WCS

Internet Dad would also like to sue to the Rams for years of mental abuse and alimony.

Redshirt

If that was an actionable case, the Bengals would be the 2nd team owned by the fans and Mike Brown would be collecting my garbage.

LemonJello
LemonJello

“Hey, that’s OUR turf!”
-Tomsula, Leaf &Marinovich, Inc

blaxabbath
Wakezilla

Anyone know the status of Mo Salah?

herodotus450
herodotus450

Whatever his status will be, will be.

Don T

/Standing ovation gif

herodotus450
herodotus450

A lot of people are saying that this is, and I would never say this, but since other people are saying it I will say it too, that this is the comment of the Day.

Spanky Datass
Spanky Datass

Unquaffed?

scotchnaut

Status Report-

Tossed-Mo Salah

Gratliff

Trying to figure out what I should do this summer during the boy’s extended trips to his grandparent’s and fucking Make Love, Not Warcraft episode of South Park comes on. Get out of my head, cruel mistress!

Gratliff

Oh no. There’s an expansion coming out two weeks before my birthday. GET THIS EVIL AWAY FROM ME, HARLOT!

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scotchnaut

/watching a doc on Danny Fields

This quote-

“MC5 could have been Grand Funk Railroad-that rabble-rousing Mid-western band that Grand Funk became.” wtf?

scotchnaut

It’s a great song but comparing GFR and MC5 is a fool’s errand

WCS

You seem to be neglecting the wild, shirtless lyrics of Mark Farner, the bone-rattling bass of Mel Schacher, and the competent drum work of Mel Brewer.

scotchnaut

Futurama was so great!

Redshirt

Yeah. Funny, but when they wanted you to cry, you would cry.

Gratliff

ALmost forgot the episode where Leela tried to kill herself by ODing on space honey
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Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

I bought their “E Pluribus Funk” album just for the album sleeve. I don’t think I ever listened to it.

I still have it. It’ll fetch me a cool $10-12 on eBay. Sweet.

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Redshirt

President Trump: “I talked to North Korea. They’re no longer a nuclear threat.”
Jr. High Teacher: “I talked to the bully. He’s no longer going to make fun of you.”
My Wife’s Mistress: “I talked to your wife. She’s no longer going to cheat on you.”

BrettFavresColonoscopy

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scotchnaut

Clara Barton was one of a kind. Nurse, metalworker, slut, educator, typist, archer, lathe operator, director, lamp lighter, invader, mistress, airline pilot, seamstress, executioner, brewer, marathoner, gamer, actress. Was there nothing she couldn’t do?

Horatio Cornblower

Hey Hippo, gave you some bad advise. The Yankees are apparently starting the AA kid tomorrow, not today.

Of course, they’re running Sonny Gray out there tonight, so your wager may not change.

Senor Weaselo

Ron Howard voiceover: “It didn’t.”