Your “All Your Money Won’t Another Minute Buy” Tuesday Evening Open Thread

Beerguyrob

Beerguyrob

A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
Beerguyrob

NFL News:

  • ARE YOU READY FOR A….grievance hearing?
    • The NFLPA has filed an official grievance against the NFL over the new anthem policy.
      • They will start with arbitration before proceeding to a court case (if necessary).

  • Sure to help things is Michael Bidwill going on the radio to pump up his old prep school buddy, new Supreme Court nominee Brent Kavanaugh.
    • Bidwill, seen right attempting to count to 10 whilst holding in a fart, appears to be trying to curry league favour with America’s current demagogue president.

  • In a story that sounds like a Friends/Big Bang Theory mashup episode, Giants tackle AJ Francis suffered the indignity of the TSA spilling his mom’s ashes inside the suitcase he was bringing her home in.
    • This is not a good look:

    • When the TSA offered an apology online, Francis assured himself future airport scrutiny with the response:

Finally, it’s been a strange day following the Shady McCoy allegations.

As of this moment they are just allegations, so Roger Goodell is left to just write the number “6” on a notepad in his office. But that didn’t stop the assholes from chiming in:


Tonight’s sports:

  • MLB:
    • Blue Jays at Braves – 7:30PM | Sportsnet
    • Royals at Twins – 8:00PM | FS1
  • NBA Summer League Basketball:
    • Kings vs. Grizzlies – 6:30PM | ESPN2
    • Lakers vs. Knicks – 8:30PM | ESPN2
  • WWE:
    • Smackdown – 8:00PM | USA / Sportsnet360

Remember – close your eyes

WE’RE JUST A DROP OF WATER IN AN ENDLESS SEA!

Beerguyrob
Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
Please Login to comment
32 Comment threads
118 Thread replies
0 Followers
 
Most reacted comment
Hottest comment thread
22 Comment authors
WakezillaBeerguyrobSenor WeaseloballsofsteelandfuryMoose -The End Is Well Nigh Recent comment authors
  Subscribe  
Notify of
Wakezilla

Calgary Stampede is pretty awesome. They deep fry everything and the women wear skimpy cowgirl clothes. I also just got a free Our Lady Peace concert. Raine Mayden sounded like shit, but who cares because it’s free.

Deep fried hamburger is life.

/Is very inebriated. Tomorrow’s preview might be a train wreck

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8CBBtorFg2I

ballsofsteelandfury

Once more because I think you might enjoy it:

I went to this place in 1992 fresh out of college and it’s still around. It’s touristy, it’s loud, and it’s fun.

https://www.timeout.com/paris/en/restaurants/la-refuge-des-fondus

Wine in baby bottles!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

SonOfSpam

I was also told the when in England, a “fag” is something related to a cigarette.

So if I want a smoke, I should approach someone in a pub and say “Hey, fag…got a cigarette?”

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Traditionally you say “Hello mate I’ll suck your cock for a fag” and they’ll know what to do.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

HEY!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

To make it successful you’ll need to memorize this:

https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/Appendix:A_Clockwork_Orange

ballsofsteelandfury

SOS’ European Vacation:

comment image

SonOfSpam

Closer than you might imagine.

But then, I’m also a lucky sonuvabitch who gets to actually do this stuff.

ballsofsteelandfury

I’m happy you get to do it. It sounds like you guys will have a blast!

SonOfSpam

Thanks bud; stressed about the details as always, but I think it will be amazing.

ballsofsteelandfury

comment image

SonOfSpam

Ok, memorized. Thanks!

Senor Weaselo

Hehehe, Cockfosters.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

comment image

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

comment image

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

WCS

What is, “American democracy under Trump”? I’ll take World History for $1200.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

King Hippo

Predicted in #BFIB-web tonight, as game was getting ready to start: “We will probably win 14-2 tonight, and lose 2-1 tomorrow.”

Go check the scoreboard.

SonOfSpam

Gonna bet the ChiSox and the under tomorrow.

King Hippo

chuh chuh

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Wow, Predicting a safety in two straight games is crazy. But also divining a rouge in the second game is some galaxy brain stuff.

King Hippo

what can I say, these new back-to-back matches get weird

SonOfSpam

We are all Darren Wilson.

(Except me…I’m not a dumbfuck racist asshole cockbite, #BFIB)

King Hippo

WOO!!!!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

SonOfSpam

Anyone got any last minute tourist tips for a first-time Euro traveler? London, Paris, Alps, etc.

(sigh) With wife and kid.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I love London. How old is the kid? I would think there is plenty of kid/parent stuff too. I am a museum, architecture, history dipshit, so the wife and kid would be bored with too much of that. London is great because it is very easy to get around in……. unless you rent a car.

SonOfSpam

Long story short, we’re going with a group (student orchestra); kid is almost 18, a lot of the trip is structured, but we’ll have free time here and there. I am into the same stuff you mentioned, but I think we’ll be covered on a lot of that.

Here’s the potential highlight: We’ll be there on Sunday. For the World Cup final. Which England might be in.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I guess I’d do some research with the 18 yo; I would have no idea. People in a pub watching the WC…. if they look like they are going to throw up, they probably are. I did’t get any on me, but it made me retch a little.

I go have lunch here whenever I can stay long enough:

http://boroughmarket.org.uk

SonOfSpam

Shit, that looks spectacular, but we’re about 7 miles (200 km?) away. I’ll see if we can get there. Thanks!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Look at the tube lines; it’s right by a station.

ballsofsteelandfury

comment image

ballsofsteelandfury

COCKFOSTERS FTW!!

ballsofsteelandfury

Go to a pub. With the kid. It’s legal and she’ll appreciate drinking with her parents.

SonOfSpam

For sure, we want to indoctrinate her to the lush lifestyle with us, not with people who don’t value her life more than their own. Also… FISH N CHIPS.

ballsofsteelandfury

If you want to avoid much walking, take the Hop On Hop Off buses. If you don’t mind walking, take the Metro/Tube.

Have a coffee at a sidewalk cafe for two hours like a true Frenchman on lunch break.

SonOfSpam

That sounds awesome. I totally wanna sit in a sidewalk cafe and watch…whatever. I’m also planning no deodorant, since that’s the thing, right?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Don’t avoid walking if possible; it is a great city to walk around.

I didn’t like it, but if the anybody likes shopping or looking at things one can’t afford; Piccadilly is pretty crazy.

People wear deodorant.

SonOfSpam

(yeah, but still…smelly Euro stereotypes are fun, like all stereotypes)

Totally wanna walk as much as possible.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

litre_cola

London and Paris are awesome.
IMO the best museum in Paris is the Musee D’Orsay. If you are going to the Louvre make a day of it and take breaks outside of it to have lunch, drinks and to recharge your brain. The area around Sacre Coeur is a lot of fun. It is the artist ghetto (not ghetto) and you can buy fantastic art there and drink wine. Champs d’Eylsee is a rip off but going up the Arc de Triomphe is better than going up the Eiffel tower. The 5th arrondissement is where you will find a bunch of restaurants that have prix fixe 3 course menus, it is touristy but cheap. Most brasseries throughout the city do this and it make things affordable for a good meal.
Do not go to the Moulin Rouge. I heeded warnings and did not go but everyone says that the scene in European vacation is pretty close.
House wine is fine and cheaper than water the locals all drink it and so should you.
If you know where you are staying in Paris I could probably help more.

SonOfSpam

Thank you for the input! Really looking forward to Paris. I think we’re Louvre’ing it, but I don’t know much beyond that. I will remember the Arc advice.

ballsofsteelandfury

I went to this place in 1992 fresh out of college and it’s still around. It’s touristy, it’s loud, and it’s fun.

https://www.timeout.com/paris/en/restaurants/la-refuge-des-fondus

Wine in baby bottles!!

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

A Quarter Pounder With Cheese is called A Royale With Cheese. And a Big Mac is called Le Big Mac. I don’t know what they call a Whopper.

SonOfSpam

“Merde” I think

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Redshirt

I watched it for one minute trying to figure out how she fell in. Its like reality glitched for a second or something.

WCS

I’ve managed to ignore my work email inbox all day. Time to play Work Roulette…

NO WAMMY NO WAMMY NO WAMMY…..

(BING BING BING) “NOTHING THAT REQUIRES YOUR ATTENTION”

comment image

WOOOOOOOO

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

SonOfSpam

Those are some OC housewives.

There ain’t enough drinks in the world.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

SonOfSpam

Butt darts?

Shit, that’s an old homophobic insult. Gonna go watch Matlock now.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

rockingdog
rockingdog

found a funny:

*Lady gives balloon to my son*
ME: What do u say?
SON: I WILL CRUSH MY ENEMIES
ME: *nervous laughter* No, the other thing
SON: Oh. Thank you

Gratliff

Part of me wants to listen to Hannity losing his mind over the Chapo book, but most of me never wants to subject myself to hearing him again. Life’s just full of tough choices.

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Not worth it.

SonOfSpam

It’s not that I want Hannity to die a slow painful death, but it’s not not that either.

Spanky Datass
Spanky Datass

Today makes two months tobacco free for me. To celebrate I made lasagna. WOOOOOOOO! …. with Bourbon chaser.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Congrats! It got easier after 6 months for me.

Spanky Datass
Spanky Datass

Thanks! I just hope my lungs are not so damn mucusy soon.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

It takes some time, Patience!

Redshirt

I think I read by a year your lungs will have been healed most of the way.

WCS

It’s something like 60%, but, close enough.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Redshirt

Great job!

Quitting not easy, but it might be fun becuase she quit four times. But the last time was for good and that was 16 years ago.

Keep it up!

SonOfSpam

Atta boy. Tobacco ain’t not no good for you. And bourbon is.

blaxabbath

Celebratory cigar!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

herodotus450
herodotus450

“The American people should have a voice in the selection of their next Supreme Court Justice. Therefore, this vacancy should not be filled until we have a new president,”
-Pierre McGuire’s long lost cousin, Mitch McConnell
We waited 11 months last time a Supreme Court Justice spot was vacant, surely we will wait the same amount of time this go ’round?

Redshirt

Trump wants to outdo Obama’s term, so lets do Martian months.

herodotus450
herodotus450

The Mercurian Calendar is the only good calendar. A day is longer than a year.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

ballsofsteelandfury

Is there a party that promotes abortion, assisted suicide,
AND the Death Penalty? We really need to thin the herd…

Redshirt

I don’t know. Those are both parties. Unless…

FUUUUUU….SHIONNNNN…..HAAAA!

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Democratic-Republican_Party

Senor Weaselo

Thanos?

ballsofsteelandfury

That’s a candidate you can depend on!

SonOfSpam

I would be ok with that. And we need moar immigrants, because it’s too damn hot to fold laundry or suck my own dick.

Senor Weaselo

Evening lizard people. Day 2 of Senor pretending he’s a conductor… well I went on a slight saltarello-induced mania? I don’t know if that’s good or bad.
/In case you’re wondering what the fuck I’m talking about… more than usual.
https://youtu.be/8nRfZqPWMfw

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

So a friend of mine from college got to sit in on drums with the frickin’ Posies last week. That is so goddamned cool.

Redshirt

You know, I’ve been saying all this time that Democrats need to destroy the Republicans in the midterms, but with all of them going Ultra Left, part of me thinks the Dems should be murderdeathkilled in the Midterms. So they can finally realize that “Keep going Left” isn’t the answer and that the entire country isn’t as Liberal as they think they are.

Trust me, I got a bad feeling about November. They are playing right into the GOP’s hands and Trump’s baby hands.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Don’t start with that silly concern trolling. The pull left is coming from the activated youth – it’s not going to stop the Dem regulars from getting out there and voting. Anybody who hasn’t yet decided an overcorrection to the left is better than the existing shitshow is unlkely to support the Dems anyway.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

If everything was more or less fine, I’d be inclined to agree with you. But everything is NOT fine, and most people get that.

Redshirt

Its not trolling. I want the Dems to win. As long as the Republicans are blowing Trump, I have no Political Party that represents me.

I’m not a Democrat, my views are different from theirs. To not start a Flame War, let just say their different.
I’m not a Libertarian. I’m close, but I find them too extreme.
I’m not a Republican. I believe in less government and more freedom to the people. I don’t believe in fear, hatred and Autocracy. Last I checked, we elected a President and not a Regent.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Sorry, please accept my apology. One of my other haunts has been invaded by concern trolls and my skin has worn thin. I’m personally feeling more motivated than I have been in years (possibly my whole life) – finally seeing some spine from Democrats (even though they are effectively powerless right now) is very invigorating to me.

Redshirt

We’re good. Just remember, I’m a Moderate Republican. I believe in Republican causes, but I still have empathy for the opponent and I genuinely want to do the right thing. I also believe that just because someone is a Democrat, that doesn’t make him a godless monster and sometimes you have to give something to get something.

I’m not like the douchebags in power who are a mustache and lightning-in-the background from being a Saturday Morning cartoon villain.

I’m a dying breed. If I was a wild animal, I would be traq’d and put into a zoo with a female Moderate Republican in a desperate effort to save the species from extinction.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I believe the term is “Cosby’d”.

Gratliff

Part of me wants to deep dive, but the other part of me says it’s not worth it. Outside of LGBTQ rights, political rhetoric in this country has been dragged to the right for the last 25 years. If Reagan came to the big show today, he’d be shouted down as a fucking RINO.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Yep.

Redshirt

Yup. When Bush 41 lost and Newt took over with his Contract, that was the slippery slope.

Gratliff

Clinton was our president while I was 9-17. I was always a bleeding heart, even as a small child, and it didn’t fade as I got older. W was such a fucking trainwreck that I constantly wished we had the president of my formative years. As I grew older, and the rose-colored glasses fell off, I soured tremendously on Clinton. As I got older still, and got to watch the Obama administration endlessly shit the bed between tiny little sparks of what passes for progress in this day and age after completely buying into him, it occurred to me that basically every president has been hot garbage in some way or another. At some point, it becomes impossible to not see the structure of the American government as outdated, flawed, and corrupted to its core. To avoid going wildly off the rails, I’ll just say that I side with the crazies that error on the side of fucking things up for the right reasons, even if they’re not great at things like organization and math.

Redshirt

Bush 41: Won because Reagan was popular. Wasn’t as charismatic. He was an generic old guy.
Clinton: Won because no other Dem ran, Perot split GOP vote and economy cratered. However he would only do things if there were popular. If polls was against it, he wouldn’t do it.
Bush 43: Won because Gore was a robot and the Supreme Court. Nice guy but surrounded himself with his daddy’s friends.
Obama: Won because Candidate Obama was inspiring and great. However he ended up a typical Chicago Liberal and he trusted Congress too much.
Trump: Won because GOPer hate Hillary and Hillary thought she had it in the bag so she forgot that the Rust Belts exists. Please get off your ass Mueller!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

The establishment “left” are essentially moderate republicans. “Progressives” are all over the place. All democrats got us where we are by not voting in the midterms and in 2016 and letting the older establishment dems stay in power, no freshness, or renewal. Republicans for the most part are so far right that any pragmatic or practical solution to our real problem is Fox News’d out of the way. I don’t think we will recover from this one.

Gratliff

New York centrists are beginning to announce that they’re dem soc’s to avoid getting primary’d like their boy. I’m maybe too jaded because I’ve already accepted that it’ll work and dem soc will become the new label for centrism.

Redshirt

I’m part of the Establishment Left now? I’m confused because I’m 97.4% certain that if I go to the Democratic rally and suggest that Abortion be Illegal except in case of Rape, Incest or Risk of Life of the Mother or Child, I would be tarred and feathered before I give them my opinion on prison reform.

SonOfSpam

Sorry, serious point ahead: HOW DO YOU DETERMINE YOUR ABORTION EXCEPTIONS???

That is all.

Senor Weaselo

Fuck it, Dr. Horrible 2020 because the status is not quo. The world is a mess, and he just… wants to rule it.
/Also seriously is Dr. Horrible 2 going to be ever?

Redshirt

Redshirt 2020: Because Why the Hell Not?!

LemonJello
LemonJello

I call dibs on SecDef!

JustStopDude
JustStopDude

What’s up bitches? Just spent about two hours helping a customer out in South Dakota with a busted drive.

I’m not in customer support so I don’t get paid for this shit. The customer kept me on the phone, even though they were on the phone with the customer support guy. So it ends up costing me about two hours explaining out drawings I cannot see, for hardware in a different time zone…we finally figure out there is a bad contact. I explain how to pull out an unused one and swap it in.

The customer is ecstatic. JSD earns his beer.

I sit down with a beer only to realize I got a nasty email from the customer support guy, cussing me out for wasting his time because the customer stopped listening to him (jackass was trying to get terms and conditions through a bunch of low level techs instead of solving the fucking problem).

My response was to forward his email to his boss and my boss with the reply…

“Is this fool serious?”

I suspect I am getting a visit from HR…

Redshirt

I would’ve responded “You’re welcome for helping to fix the customer’s problem.”

LemonJello
LemonJello

That visit from HR better include a booklet of coupons redeemable for sex acts of your choice, a lifetime subscription to “Beer of the Week” club, and a couple suitcases of used, non-sequential twenties for keeping this fucking company in business.

Redshirt

If that was the case, there would be a whole harem in my office every Monday morning at my work.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

LemonJello
LemonJello

Anyone can have bad breath, Marge. But you could knock a buzzard off a shit-wagon!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I first heard that term at about six from my cousin. I think it made me chuckle at the thought of it for a good year after that.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Man what I wouldn’t give for a visit from HR…wait, we’re talking about Hillary Rodham, right?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I have the overwhelming urge…. the HR lady put her finger in my ass.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

OK, so it’s a one person proctologist’s office, but still.

Redshirt

I don’t know whether to punch her for giving the GOP someone hate or give her a hug for getting screwed in the ’16 election. Maybe a bear hug?

WCS

Redshirt

I don’t understand all the instahatred towards Trump’s Supreme Court nominee. His party won the Presidential election, and deserves and vote a I’m certain that if the situation was reversed, they would….

Sorry, I forgot the Republican Party is now a heartless, faithless, ballsless cult.

Comment withdrawn. Carry on. As you were.

WCS

You forgot cynical, manipulative, and exploitative.

Redshirt

No. Those traits would require intelligence and charisma.

Senor Weaselo

Whoa now, that’s an insult to… wait you said cult. Never mind.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

scotchnaut

Time for this baby boy to visit Snoozy Town. See ya tomorraw for the crushening of England…. NIGHTERS!

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

comment image

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

scotchnaut

The Jumanji reboot stands up as well as Charles Bukowski on a five day bender.

Redshirt

At least they arranged it as a indirect sequel and have props to the original. It wasn’t that bad really.

scotchnaut

Dust? Wind? I like to think of myself as a few drops of urine in an above-ground swimming pool. Thank you very much!

LemonJello
LemonJello

“HEY! EVERYONE! WE GOT US ROYALTY OVER HERE! MR. PUTS THE P IN POOL HAS GRACED US WITH HIS PRESENCE!”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Redshirt

Funny related story. I was…um…atching a beautiful picture on the family when I…um…went to get more comfortable when I bumped the desk and caused the graphics chip on the old, old PC to break. Seeing I broke the PC, I swore, and my parents heard and ran to the study to see if I was alright.

And that’s the story of how me and my parents looked at glitched out, jumbled porn.

Wakezilla

Yee haw! Litigation between the PA and the NFL? The season is around the corner! Gotta love how lawsuits have become synonymous with football. What a sport! *Berrrrrrrrrp*

Wakezilla

Outside of the first 20 minutes, I missed the rest of the Frogs/Waffles title because of bullshit work. You can take a guess as to how my mood is, right now.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Bad?

It’s bad, right?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Hey – is it bad?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I bet it’s bad.

SonOfSpam

Might be bad.

LemonJello
LemonJello

On a scale of not-good to bad; I’m gonna say it’s bad.

scotchnaut

LemonJello
LemonJello

scotchnaut

When exactly did you lose all your self-respect?

“When I first signed up for DFO” is not an acceptable reply.

LemonJello
LemonJello

Nope. Right around the opening of the abyss and our collective fall into the darkest timeline.
comment image

Shogun Marcus

Good?

ballsofsteelandfury

Larry Wade is a commentist?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image