Hey.
Hey.
Stinger.
…
Hey.
HEY!
…what?
Stinger?
…am I…?
Yeah, cool, I thought that was you.
…where?
You’re in orbit, man. You remember how you got there?
I remember being on fire. I’m not on fire now. Why am I not on fire?
Ain’t no oxygen in space, buddy!
How…
You got flipped out of the gravity well by Bronco. You remember now?
I…yes. I’m a robot.
That’s right, buddy. A battlebot.
WE HAVE OBTAINED THE REQUISITE TELEMETRY.
Yeah, I know. I’m talking to him right now.
…who?
That’s DJ3000. He’s got access to some equipment we needed to track you down. You weren’t easy to find, friend!
But who are you?
Oh! Apologies, I guess I wasn’t programmed to be much for manners. I’m Petunia.
I don’t remember you.
No, you wouldn’t, because we’ve never met. I’m new to the competition this year.
The competition?
Battlebots, remember? Man, Bronco really rocked your world.
THIS GUY STINGER I CALL HIM CHEAP HOTEL CONTINENTAL BREAKFAST EGGS CAUSE HE’S SCRAMBLED UP REAL GOOD AND THE PARTS OF HIM THAT AREN’T BRIGHT YELLOW ARE SCORCHED ALL TO HELL.
Knock it off DJ3000, give the poor guy a break.
DO NOT FORGET ABOUT OUR AGREEMENT. THE TIME IS NEAR.
Sure thing, sure thing. Stinger, we’ve got a little job to do here. You up for it?
I…sure, I guess.
So DJ3000 here, he works for a radio station called KDFO. We needed to patch into their radio tower to see if we could track you down. The catch is that we have to help out with a little show called “Request Line”. People call in with song requests, then we give them a spin. Get it?
I don’t…
Don’t sweat it, buddy. I got us covered.
ON AIR IN THREE…TWO…ONE…
Good afternoon and welcome to Request Line! I’m your host Petunia, here representing the 2018 crew of Battlebots! With me is our very special guest, orbiting the earth at 6800 meters per second, the eye in the sky, the one and only Stinger! [simulates applause] Today’s theme is “the future”. Give us a call with songs about what’s going to be happening an hour, a day, a year, a hundred years from now. I’ll get us started with “Citizens of Tomorrow” by the Tokyo Police Club, a chilling vision of…ha ha, just kidding, we robots would never do anything like that. Promise.
Just wanted to say that the layout and presentation of this post is gorgeous.
Nice job.
Miss Cleveland is on the God Squad-her voice is awesome. That’s all I’ma say.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zkXlCjuiRfg
Los Who – 905
https://youtube.com/watch?v=n2ZOhWAaGVs&feature=youtu.be
LOVED THE LAYOUT.
For the hopelessly friendzoned: Pulp – Disco 2000. Woof. Remember when 2000 was the future?
/scratches liver spots
https://youtube.com/watch?feature=youtu.be&v=qJS3xnD7Mus
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D3zaSnSNn_E
An oldie but a salient/relevant goodie-
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zuuObGsB0No
raise yo’ fist!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8M5W_3T2Ye4
This is from “Music from the Knee Plays. The entire album is fantastic.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dzBS7bGJaDA
Something a little more near-term future:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ahvSgFHzJIc
Didn’t OJ kill the guy on the right?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2twY8YQYDBE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BlcC9hiyzB4
Americas Coolest #BlackHipsters!
If you don’t crank this whenevs it comes on First Wave then Hippo don’t even noe u…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mcMh6GZoFC8
/BTW, my first job was at Target, this shit NEVAR happened to me even though mah hair was NEVAR that goddamned bad
Didn’t Jules shoot this guy for saying “what”?
A Big Kahuna Burger IS a tasty sandwich.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TF297rN_8OY
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=15YgdrhrCM8
Probably the most existential of the LA-centric New Wave Pop bands
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1WDly1Oc_P4
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vkp9dtpeNU4
All my selections seem a little…negative?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BIlUvEOhFos
https://www.msn.com/en-us/sports/nfl/titans-make-taylor-lewan-highest-paid-ol-in-nfl-history/ar-BBL8rNl?OCID=ansmsnnews11
Save some of that cash for the FUTURE.
Captain Shrederator: These dang Dutch robots takin’ away American robot jobs!
/Captain Shrederator hits a wall and stops moving
Meanwhile…
https://youtube.com/watch?v=CYpBwfqTzHc
http://www.mcall.com/news/nationworld/mc-nws-nj-school-superintendent-defecating-resigns-20180727-story.html
Now and the future.
We could also use the soundtrack of The Road.
Hard to be “The Phantom Shitter” with all the cameras and technology in our Big Brother existence.
“DAMN STRAIGHT!”
-Najeh Trenadious Monté Davenport
Death Cab’s very best song, and ah will fight yeeewwww over this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jhCv3GCnn7M
Future?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GwZvip416NU
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rmf1AYgYj6I
Which leads in to this classic.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kmzpdd4pWvM
“Reply Fail.”
– Denver Broncos fax machine, circa 2013
this joke never gets old!
Elvis has left the building.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=izQB2-Kmiic
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zd2Mwvm4Yn8
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pda3t8frwdM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3fFh-OEMD64
[feels dirty]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Za5wwxsuvhw
Jefferson Beauregard Sessions’ view of the future:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1xIQmFk1ok0
It was about the future for them when it was written, and about the future for many if not most of the commentist party.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HCTunqv1Xt4
Christ, I hope I am ded before then.
/this was seriously much of a phone conversation between ex-wife and I last night, each discussing when and how we think we will drop ded early
I’d bet when it gets closer you will change your mind.
I like life less with each passing year/month/week/day, just ain’t figured out the surest and bestest way outta here yet.
/NAWT this close to Glorious RedZone Season obvs
just how soon?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hnpILIIo9ek
I love this song more than you do.
[draws line in the sand]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B1BdQcJ2ZYY
I could use a little drinky-drink. What time is it? It’s Five O’Clock Somewhere ( I wish there was another version of this):
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BPCjC543llU
Let’s get come back to earth with a DOUBLE SHOT from Morrissey.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o-MHECOqrwM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=78tLoVmItQo
Herr Charlemango’s Space Force IS the future:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DKftiJS30Cs
Holy shit, Back to the Future inspired some terrible music.
Timbuk3 – Future’s So Bright, I Gotta Wear Shades
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q9NPhEZNe98
Emerson, Lake & Palmer: Karn Evil 9 1st Impression, Pt 2:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bxzxe3bcM1A
Not just an ELP double shot, but the same track double shot!
https://youtube.com/watch?v=Sq5-p-9RwrY
Phish – Martian Monster
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bA7hJEYhzDY
A bit abstract, but this post *is* an homage to 17776, so…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c0mN7rvgb-4
17776 was great. Thanks for alerting us to that…piece of…culture.
(Sorry Part II)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ujJFfAUY3D4
Don’t be sorry, that’s a pretty inspired pick for the theme.
(Sorry)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uc6f_2nPSX8
Androids are from the future, right?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fHiGbolFFGw
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q7_jbluF0qo
You’ve got to do this one: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VxLacN2Dp6A
With a nice cover:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tznf8Npf2Tk
All We Have Is Now – The Flaming Lips
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Aacl6KCaCmE
It feels like this is where we’re headed, sometimes:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JSUIQgEVDM4
a personal favourite!
I feel like this Doors tune fits the theme even better.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nOJSmXSFCWk
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3VAxwimExn0
fitting for a Friday….
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1eWLqX9zrIg
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6zT4Y-QNdto
First pick:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FAvQSkK8Z8U
Rush DOUBLESHOT:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w5jwxrTqoEA