Request Line: The Future

 

 

Hey.

 

Hey.

 

Stinger.

 

 

Hey.

 

HEY!

 

…what?

 

Stinger?

 

…am I…?

 

Yeah, cool, I thought that was you.

 

…where?

 

You’re in orbit, man. You remember how you got there?

 

I remember being on fire. I’m not on fire now. Why am I not on fire?

 

Ain’t no oxygen in space, buddy!

 

How…

 

You got flipped out of the gravity well by Bronco. You remember now?

 

I…yes. I’m a robot.

 

That’s right, buddy. A battlebot.

 

WE HAVE OBTAINED THE REQUISITE TELEMETRY.

 

Yeah, I know. I’m talking to him right now.

 

…who?

 

That’s DJ3000. He’s got access to some equipment we needed to track you down. You weren’t easy to find, friend!

 

But who are you?

 

Oh! Apologies, I guess I wasn’t programmed to be much for manners. I’m Petunia.

 

I don’t remember you.

 

No, you wouldn’t, because we’ve never met. I’m new to the competition this year.

 

The competition?

 

Battlebots, remember? Man, Bronco really rocked your world.

 

THIS GUY STINGER I CALL HIM CHEAP HOTEL CONTINENTAL BREAKFAST EGGS CAUSE HE’S SCRAMBLED UP REAL GOOD AND THE PARTS OF HIM THAT AREN’T BRIGHT YELLOW ARE SCORCHED ALL TO HELL.

 

Knock it off DJ3000, give the poor guy a break.

 

DO NOT FORGET ABOUT OUR AGREEMENT. THE TIME IS NEAR.

 

Sure thing, sure thing. Stinger, we’ve got a little job to do here. You up for it?

 

I…sure, I guess.

 

So DJ3000 here, he works for a radio station called KDFO. We needed to patch into their radio tower to see if we could track you down. The catch is that we have to help out with a little show called “Request Line”. People call in with song requests, then we give them a spin. Get it?

 

I don’t…

 

Don’t sweat it, buddy. I got us covered.

 

ON AIR IN THREE…TWO…ONE…

 

Good afternoon and welcome to Request Line! I’m your host Petunia, here representing the 2018 crew of Battlebots! With me is our very special guest, orbiting the earth at 6800 meters per second, the eye in the sky, the one and only Stinger! [simulates applause] Today’s theme is “the future”. Give us a call with songs about what’s going to be happening an hour, a day, a year, a hundred years from now. I’ll get us started with “Citizens of Tomorrow” by the Tokyo Police Club, a chilling vision of…ha ha, just kidding, we robots would never do anything like that.  Promise.

 

 

 

 

 

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Law-abiding Raiders fan, pet owner, Los Angeles resident.
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yeah right

Just wanted to say that the layout and presentation of this post is gorgeous.
Nice job.

scotchnaut

Miss Cleveland is on the God Squad-her voice is awesome. That’s all I’ma say.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zkXlCjuiRfg

Don T
Don T

LOVED THE LAYOUT.
For the hopelessly friendzoned: Pulp – Disco 2000. Woof. Remember when 2000 was the future?
/scratches liver spots
https://youtube.com/watch?feature=youtu.be&v=qJS3xnD7Mus

scotchnaut

An oldie but a salient/relevant goodie-

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zuuObGsB0No

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

King Hippo
yeah right

This is from “Music from the Knee Plays. The entire album is fantastic.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dzBS7bGJaDA

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

LemonJello

Something a little more near-term future:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ahvSgFHzJIc

Brick Meathook

Didn’t OJ kill the guy on the right?

King Hippo

Americas Coolest #BlackHipsters!

King Hippo

If you don’t crank this whenevs it comes on First Wave then Hippo don’t even noe u…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mcMh6GZoFC8

King Hippo

/BTW, my first job was at Target, this shit NEVAR happened to me even though mah hair was NEVAR that goddamned bad

Brick Meathook

Didn’t Jules shoot this guy for saying “what”?

Spanky Datass

comment image

Spanky Datass

A Big Kahuna Burger IS a tasty sandwich.

scotchnaut

Probably the most existential of the LA-centric New Wave Pop bands

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1WDly1Oc_P4

LemonJello

All my selections seem a little…negative?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BIlUvEOhFos

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Save some of that cash for the FUTURE.

Senor Weaselo

Captain Shrederator: These dang Dutch robots takin’ away American robot jobs!
/Captain Shrederator hits a wall and stops moving
Meanwhile…
https://youtube.com/watch?v=CYpBwfqTzHc

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
LemonJello

Hard to be “The Phantom Shitter” with all the cameras and technology in our Big Brother existence.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“DAMN STRAIGHT!”

-Najeh Trenadious Monté Davenport

King Hippo

Death Cab’s very best song, and ah will fight yeeewwww over this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jhCv3GCnn7M

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Future?

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nomonkeyfun

Which leads in to this classic.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kmzpdd4pWvM

King Hippo

this joke never gets old!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Elvis has left the building.

King Hippo

Jefferson Beauregard Sessions’ view of the future:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1xIQmFk1ok0

nomonkeyfun

It was about the future for them when it was written, and about the future for many if not most of the commentist party.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HCTunqv1Xt4

King Hippo

Christ, I hope I am ded before then.

/this was seriously much of a phone conversation between ex-wife and I last night, each discussing when and how we think we will drop ded early

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I’d bet when it gets closer you will change your mind.

King Hippo

I like life less with each passing year/month/week/day, just ain’t figured out the surest and bestest way outta here yet.

/NAWT this close to Glorious RedZone Season obvs

Game Time Decision
scotchnaut

I love this song more than you do.

[draws line in the sand]

LemonJello

I could use a little drinky-drink. What time is it? It’s Five O’Clock Somewhere ( I wish there was another version of this):
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BPCjC543llU

LemonJello

Herr Charlemango’s Space Force IS the future:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DKftiJS30Cs

Cuntler

Holy shit, Back to the Future inspired some terrible music.

Timbuk3 – Future’s So Bright, I Gotta Wear Shades

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q9NPhEZNe98

LemonJello

Emerson, Lake & Palmer: Karn Evil 9 1st Impression, Pt 2:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bxzxe3bcM1A

Senor Weaselo

Not just an ELP double shot, but the same track double shot!
https://youtube.com/watch?v=Sq5-p-9RwrY

Cuntler
nomonkeyfun

17776 was great. Thanks for alerting us to that…piece of…culture.

Cuntler
Cuntler
Cuntler

Androids are from the future, right?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fHiGbolFFGw

Cuntler

You’ve got to do this one: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VxLacN2Dp6A

Cuntler
Cuntler

All We Have Is Now – The Flaming Lips

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Aacl6KCaCmE

LemonJello

It feels like this is where we’re headed, sometimes:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JSUIQgEVDM4

King Hippo

a personal favourite!

Game Time Decision
LemonJello
LemonJello