Your “Two Days & Counting” Tuesday Evening Open Thread

Beerguyrob

Beerguyrob

A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
Beerguyrob

NFL News:

  • It’s just two more days until the Hall of Fame game!
    • Flacco! Trubisky! Guys who’ll never play again starting in front of them!
  • In advance of the Hall of Fame ceremony, nfl.com has started the hagiographies.
    • First up: Terrell Owens, likely to get it out of the way in advance of the real attendees.
  • Signed!
    • The Jets have signed Sam Darnold to a four-year, $30.25 million guaranteed rookie contract.
      • The team retained a fifth-year option, something few of their rookies have ever seen enforced.
    • Stefon Diggs – to a five-year extension with the Vikings.
      • It’s a $14.4 million base, which could add up to over $80 million with incentives, and has $40 million guaranteed.
  • Jerry Jones is now following the League directive to shut the fuck up about anthem protests.
    • About the same time, Richard Sherman referred to Jones’ way of thinking as “the old plantation mentality”.
      • That’s a solid trifecta of “shut up”, “racist” and “old man” in one statement.

Tonight’s sports:

  • MLB:
    • Phillies at Red Sox – 7:00PM | ESPN / TSN3
    • Orioles at Yankees – 7:00PM | Sportsnet / MLBN
    • Blue Jays at A’s – 10:00PM | Sportsnet
  • International Champions Cup Soccer:
    • FC Barcelona vs. AS Roma – 10:00PM | ESPN
  • WWE:
    • Smackdown – 8:00PM | USA / Sportsnet360

I met former Met & Blue Jay Mookie Wilson last night. The Canadians brought him in for an autograph signing, using both the Blue Jays affiliation & traditionally slow Monday nights to drum up some extra business. The game sold out, and he signed autographs through the whole game, instead of stopping in the 4th like most people. He said they came to see him, so he wanted to thank them. CLASS ACT!

Beerguyrob
Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.

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BrettFavresColonoscopyMr. AyotheeWeeBabySeamusWakezillaBrick Meathook Recent comment authors
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BrettFavresColonoscopy
Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

I’m a bit concerned there was no section on how they “fixed” the problem.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Who cares? It was worth it for this:

“All I can tell you is I made the biggest mistake of my life,” he said quietly, before agreeing to pay $12.5 million in restitution. The judge sent him to jail for 37 months. He did not pass go.

Wakezilla

ToddlerZilla is being a massive cock block tonight. Given the time, I’m allowed to give her whiskey and it’s Kosher, as long as it’s expensive, right?

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

What? No! ToddlerZilla hasn’t acquired her sophisticated palette yet. Start with the cheap stuff.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Starting tomorrow morning I’ll be playing a game. It’s called “How Many Edibles Can tWBS Eat Before Going Thru LAX Security And Still Find His Way Home?”

Bet the Over.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

It still counts if they transfer you home with marshals, right?

theeWeeBabySeamus

It did last time.

😛

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Wakezilla

Lots of people talking about being surprised by Giuliani’s comments from yesterday. I’m not sure why because he’s always been a piece of shit

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I think the new part is the senility/ incoherence part along with the nonsense platitudes and shittyness he apparently has deep in his soul.

yeah right

I’ve got to ask a serious and personal question. How is going to the doctor for a physical where they fondle your sack and stick a finger up your plumbing that much different than abuse.

I’m not going to demean anyone or belittle previous claims but honestly in the era of advanced medicine and all of the various ‘oscopys why is this practice still accepted as the norm?

I don’t like it and it should not be an acceptable form of a physical examination.

Period..

Your thoughts are welcome on this subject.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Man, I hope I’m dead before 50.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Go before you’re 50. It’s not that bad, just uncomfortable, and it really can save your life.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

And it will give you great empathy for any woman you try to get to let you in the back door.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

My stream is still strong like bull.

Family history is heart disease and I’m above average being alive in my early 40’s without a heart attack.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I feel like I was summoned

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Are you kidding? Just off the top of my head a trained professional doctor is not “abusing” you during this examination. Doing this examination is probably $20,000 less than “‘oscopys” just because you are so uptight/ homophobic about getting your taint touched. I am sure you could deny that examination and pay for the non-touching machine one out-of-pocket.

Just because you don’t like it doesn’t mean it is not proven to be very effective form of early diagnosis.
https://www.healthline.com/health/digital-rectal-exam
Still hope you are kidding.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Hey I just got my balls waxed two weeks ago! Now that’s abuse!

Hi-Yoooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!

Seriously folks, did I ever tell you about when I got the clap when I was 21? Of course I didn’t why would I. So I go to the clinic in Charleston SC that was right by the medical college (the waiting room was lined with guys from The Citadel in uniform, it looked like a parade had just ended and they stopped in there), and I had warts and that’s treated with a single dose of some purple shit the doctor paints on them, and then the doctor gave me a stern lecture about wearing condoms and all the really horrible things I could have gotten instead, and the whole time he’s lecturing he’s emphasizing each point by yanking on my dick. Hard.

Wakezilla

From personal experience, I find women practitioners are more gentler than males. Try doing that

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I switched doctors to one with smaller fingers.

I am not joking.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

most upsetting for the #BFIB to trade fan favourite Tommy Pham, NOT trade Dexter Fowler or Jose Martinez, THEN lose to the Dirt Donks (no WOO).

’twas a day where I might as well have had to use mah AK

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Dirt Donks are ON FIRE….. much like Cali.

yeah right

It was a really odd trade. I can’t tell if they’re throwing in the towel, making a move for a pennant drive or I don’t know. That seems directionless.

King Hippo

deffo playing for 2019, but overall I am just confused

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

You are not the only one……

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Wakezilla

/checks dirt Jets’ scoreboard. Wow, the dirt Redacteds scored a touchdown in the first, but then settled for nothing but field goals afterwards. That’s not the making of a playoffs team. SMH.

King Hippo

Hooray, Greater Footy and well soon!!

/even if el Biscuit del Verdad y Unflavoured Ice Mik

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Senor Weaselo

Evening lizard people. This is an adequate description of me today.

Now if you excuse me, I have some work to do.
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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“Workin’ in the coal mi…….. sex doll shop

Workin’ in the sex doll shop…”

Wakezilla

I hear the new queef feature is very life like

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Wakezilla

So, anyone else getting really peculiar ads from Google, lately? I’ve gotten some weird ads that for the life of me, can’t figure out how they showed up from the algorithm..

Senor Weaselo

I know. Why are they sending me ads from Southwest Strings? I’m very clearly a Shar and Prodigy Instruments man!
/Nobody got that

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I don’t have skin tags!

yeah right

And I don’t give a shit about some young company in Redondo Beach that’s going to be the next big stock!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I did help that Nigerian prince out though, he was in dire straights, man.

Redshirt

Well at least the Mets know they’re not wasting Jose Reyes’ pitching skills keeping him at 3B.

1.0 IP, 5 H, 6 R, 2 BB, 1 HBP, 0 K, 48 pitches. ERA 54

Slowest pitch: 49 MPH

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli

It’s refreshing to see Reyes getting pounded.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That is a good porn video alright!

ballsofsteelandfury

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

25 runs? Meet the Mets!

rockingdog
rockingdog

found a funny:

A rapper named Step9 who pretty much just apologizes to everybody for shit he did last year.

Ian Scott McCormick

I don’t know what you guys are waiting for. Mets clearly lost to a football team tonight.

WCS

Wasn’t the Jets then.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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blaxabbath

Don’t know a whole hell of a lot about him but I like Diggs.

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Redshirt

I normally deduct points for his throwing the helmet and strike a pose celebration, but when you pull of a play like that at that very time, you’ve earned the right to do whatever the hell you want.

Gratliff

WHAT HAPPENED NEXT

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Wakezilla

That’s some insane core work

Redshirt

Well, preseason’s almost here. Time to get into Bengals Fan Mode:

Spanky Datass
Spanky Datass

Bartolo Colon is about to grab a bat and lead off the third. This could be “fun”.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

As a Colon-oscopy ?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli

Really expected his back to snap in two there

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

He probably finds out about the injury later. About half the time my back goes out it is after the fact…. a fun follow-up.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

That’s why I only work out my glamour muscles these days.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Well, I work my dick quite a bit too. Agreed.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

you rang?

Spanky Datass
Spanky Datass

Hoo boy! How does one type a backwards K on WordPress?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That’s a solid trifecta of “shut up”, “racist” and “old man” in one statement.

Cheers, mate

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Spur
Spur

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LemonJello
LemonJello

Sure, rub it in. No, really, rub it in, I heard it’s good for the skin.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Spur
Spur

Do the Mariners have a chance to win? i put $20 on them. Pay out is $320.

Redshirt

The Mets have scored, 1-19. The comeback begins!

Redshirt

Reds did not trade the pitcher they traded for with the intention of flipping him. They fixed him. He’s better than he was. But they didn’t trade him. They have no chance to re-sign him in the off season. And they’d have to go like 45-11 just to have a chance at the playoffs.

The Reds just did the baseball equivalent of taking out the hot chick, taking her to a five-star restaurant, taking her to a play, taking her for a nice moonlit stroll in the park, walking her to her door and then declining to go into her home “for a cup of coffee”.

Senor Weaselo

I’d expect that from the Mets funnily enough.
/Who did that with Bautista, and Mesoraco to an extent but they would have needed to pick up some of the money

herodotus450
herodotus450

I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

You could say that about any week.

Gratliff

Taking the boy to Evolve 111 to see some of the indie darlings before they’re added to Vince’s bottomless toybox. Every time I buy a ticket to an indie show, it reminds me of the time Sofia Vergara took a selfie in front of Adam Cole’s lifeless body.
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LemonJello
LemonJello

That’s hair and not brain matter on the mat, right?

WCS

IT COULD BE TWO THINGS

Redshirt

I’m sorry. What mat are you talking about?

LemonJello
LemonJello

One of the jabronis behind her has to be named Mat.

Gratliff

Matt Jackson is in there somewhere. May be the guy in the corner if it’s not his brother Nick

Gratliff

Actually, now that I’m checking to make sure I know what I’m talking about, that’s not Adam Cole. Probably Trevor Lee. Can recognize Roderick Strong by his shitty little boots.

https://www.cagematch.net/?id=1&nr=127431

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Redshirt

Stand down from Red Alert! Reports of an Ape Uprising coming out of Arizona was a false alarm.

https://www.cincinnati.com/story/sports/mlb/reds/2018/07/31/haboob-not-baboon-postpones-arizona-league-reds-game-near-phoenix/869498002/

WCS

Me, 90 minutes ago: Four pound Cuban sandwich with two pounds of ham and pork belly each? YES PLEASE

Me, now:comment image

Redshirt
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Mets are getting beat 16-0 in the fifth inning? Yeah, sounds about right, I guess.

LemonJello
LemonJello

Mercy Rule comes into effect, right?

Spur
Spur
ballsofsteelandfury

Moose will tell you that I could have told you that!

Oh, NOT Big Foot Erotica?

Carry on…

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Nice.

Spur
Spur

Folks

litre_cola

I have heard Mookie is a great guy.

Wakezilla

I miss legends night at the Nat. I don’t think I ever met a jerk legend player while working there. The C’s players were also nice.