Sunday Gravy with yeah right: The Omelette: Or how I Stopped worrying and Learned to love to cook.

yeah right

yeah right

yeah right is a lifelong Vikings fan. Loves to cook but doesn’t plate. Loves to drink but hates hangovers. Loves to read. Has no regrets.
yeah right

Good morning folks.

Welcome back!

The trip to San Diego was a blast and I’m happy to report that my family is all well and happy.

I did make it back in time to bring you a new episode of Sunday Gravy although this one is going to be, let’s just say interesting. Normally I cook the week before I post but today I’ll be cooking less than 12 hours before post time. I’ll even give a time stamp as we go.

In a strange turn of events it was warmer in San Diego than LA so we’re all a few shades tanner than before. Apart from wasting a pair of shoes – stupid water rides – everything went perfectly.

This is fucking insanity but here goes.

We’re heading into the home stretch! The NFL preseason has started and the regular season is just down the road. For you newer readers Sunday Gravy is an off-season feature here at DFO headquarters and once the NFL season starts we will be having live blogs-o-rama to bring to you on Sundays and I will go on Winter break to watch the games along with everyone else.

Just for the record, of course I will be cooking weekly during the NFL season. It’s what I do. What it does allow me to do is cook old favorites and allows me to remake some of the dishes that I’ve already covered for you. It’s equal parts taking it easy, going back to the well for old favorites and some experimentation for next season’s recipes.

I really am THAT insane.

Since I guess this is my origin story, let’s start by giving you the history of when I learned to cook and when I learned to love to cook. I’ll let you decide if it makes sense or if I may just be a deranged fuck. I can’t make up your mind for you.

The first time I prepared a full 3 course dinner was on my 10th birthday.

Why?

I told my parents that this is what I wanted for my birthday.

No shit.

There were 6 of us.

Then.

I guess if I think about it, that is a pretty goddamn strange request for a birthday present but dammit it’s what I wanted.

And just what was the meal I wanted to cook for my family?

image via

Braised beef over mashed potatoes.

The Sunday Gravy moniker was not just a random choice for my ramblings. I really fucking love gravy based things over potatoes, rice, noodles, grits, hell, pretty much any starch item.

This also explains why I work out 7 days a week to maintain my super model inspired figure.

*note – does not possess super model figure but dammit I try.

Have you ever had brown gravy over white rice?

The idea for braised beef and mashed potatoes came from my favorite grade school cafeteria meal. Their version featured ground beef in a brown gravy served over “whipped” potatoes (buds). I fucking loved that shit even as a kid.

When I approached my Mom with the birthday meal idea she dug out her old cookbooks and sought out something that would be comparable. While Ma knew her way around a pot roast I don’t think our family had ever had this particular meal before. Since we were a family of 6 I’m pretty sure my mom bought me a slab of chuck roast or something similar whereas today I would use a slow braised short rib. You know, a mire poix, some thyme, garlic and red wine? That type of shit?

Sound familiar?

This recipe was from 2015 way back in the primordial days of DFO.

What really stayed with me though was the reaction of my family. When I saw EVERY member of my family go back for seconds I was hooked. Even better was the commentary. Being the youngest member of the family at the time I wasn’t always used to positive feedback but everyone complimented me on the meal.

An internal switch was thrown.

A cook was born.

After that I wanted to cook everything.

I helped my parents when they grilled in the backyard. I learned how to start and maintain a charcoal fire, I helped my Mom in the kitchen as often as I could. I learned to chop, julienne and peel vegetables.

So tell me, is that deranged behavior for a 10 year old? Fuck man, I didn’t know any better. To me it was just me being me.

I’ve cooked ever since.

I guess I should state for the record that we are not making braised short ribs today.

For you novice cooks and bachelors out there, my first suggestion to start you on your culinary journey is learn how to make breakfast first.

Shit, everybody should be able to make some eggs, fry some bacon and make some potatoes and toast. That’s just basic subsistence right there.

Then if you want to step up your game you can build from there.

One of my first infatuations became eggs.

First scrambled then…

The omelette.

Which is my long winded way of saying let’s break some fucking eggs and make an omelette or two.

Time stamp: 7:08 PM Pacific daylight time. The bulk of the cooking took place within the last 2 hours. Let’s do this shit.

First thing I wanted to feature were fresh herbs from my herb garden.

Left to right you have rosemary (stay tuned for next week’s feature), chives and basil. I wanted to really highlight the fresh herbs and chose omelette ingredients to reflect that.

Let’s clear the air on egg preparation first.

Do you add milk or cream to your eggs?

You really shouldn’t. All it does is act as an extender. You miss the real eggy action and it actually dilutes the taste. Please consider this moving forward. Eggs, salt and pepper are your base.

Like so.

I had the idea to feature two omelettes today. The first would be as close as I get to vegetarian. That means it had bacon. Sorry.

The second would be a crazy as fuck escalated version of my favorite omelette. The ham and cheese.

Did we take liberties with our version of “ham and cheese?”

You bet!

Here is my version of “ham and cheese.”

Proscuitto de Parmi and this crazy funky Swiss cheese called Scharfe Max which means EXTREME FLAVOR! Cuz you know the Swiss are all about EXTREME!. It’s actually goddamn delicious and has a funk, a nutty thing, an almost meaty thing. Shit dude, this is a tasty funky stinky cheese. Right up my goddamn alley. I hope you good folks have ignored the sticker shock and fucked around with proscuitto de Parmi. Holy mother of god is it delightful.

Look!

Meat curtains!

This shit is sliced soo fucking thin. My word. The flavor is salt forward without the smoke of an American style ham. Don’t get me wrong! I love the smoke!.

/Takes timeout to smoke.

But yeah. This shit is gonna be good.

So let’s go!

/looks at clock. 7:33 PM PDT.

Let’s go. Two omelettes. No waiting.

Omelette number one is bacon, mushroom, onion garlic.

Get some!

Tonight we will be using fresh chives and basil for our two omeletts.

Let’s start with…

Bacon!

This is a really nice locally produced thick cut peppered bacon. I bought three slices from my butcher. Chop this shit into “lardons” and get that pork up in the pan.

Jesus!. It’s 7:42 PM! T-minus 8 hours and 18 minutes before post time.

Where’s my editor?

Get those eggs in the pan dammit!

No!

No No No!

Crack the fucking things first then get in the pan.

This is easy. Three eggs and some salt and pepper. Place a pad of butter in a non-stick pan and add the eggs. You’re gonna want to move the pan around to cook the liquidity out of the eggs.

We’re going to add some mushrooms, onion and garlic

that we pre-sweated earlier.

When that egg mixture starts to tighten up add in the mushrooms, onion, bacon and garlic.

Is there anything on the planet that can not be improved by mushrooms, onion, bacon and garlic?

No.

There is not.

Add it in now.

I am going to show you two different but distinct omelette folds. This one is called the half fold.

I finished with the fresh chives and the last of the crispy bacon bits.

Now let’s get after omelette two.

This one has the…

Oh shit. Let’s go.

Can I just get a fork and…..

In summary, the fresh herbs are the big star. The basil really punched through even with the salt of the proscuitto and the funk of that cave aged Swiss.

The omelette is quite possibly the single cleanest, simplest delivery system of flavor.

Rich, dense, while still remaining light. Simple as scrambled eggs or as challenging as a benedict sauce.

You decide.

Just don’t dismiss the power and the simplicity of the simple egg.

Thanks for reading folks.

It’s…

/checks watch.

8:08 PM PST less than 8 hours to post time.

I need a drink.

And a bowl.

B well people.

PEACE!

 

 

yeah right
yeah right
yeah right is a lifelong Vikings fan. Loves to cook but doesn't plate. Loves to drink but hates hangovers. Loves to read. Has no regrets.

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BrettFavresColonoscopyWakezillayeah rightMoose -The End Is Well Nightomsellecksmoustache Recent comment authors
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BrettFavresColonoscopy

I am one of those that adds (just a little) milk to my eggs. Because that’s how my mom taught me, and in my family being wrong isn’t reason enough to stop doing something.

Wakezilla

Toddlerzilla woke me up this morning 5am and made it impossible for me to sleep, as she her shoulder was firmly placed on my neck. Anyway, not being able to sleep, I logged onto DFO and read this. It looked so good, my stomach was growling. A couple of hours later, we were eating an omelette and it was delicious.

Thanks for the recipe!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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tomsellecksmoustache
tomsellecksmoustache

Unsolved Mysteries and Robert Stack is killing the overcoat game.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I guess the difference between typhoon and hurricane is too fucking complicated for the average US citizen.

ballsofsteelandfury

Location, location, location!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Again; apparently too complex.

King Hippo

Did the #BFIB right their way to a 2-1 nailbiter win in today’s rubber match with the Dirt Stillers?

Your goddamned rite we did!!!111

Protect you’re Anus, NL Wildcard hopefuls.

nomonkeyfun

I had a goat burrito for lunch today. It was the GOAT.
/Insert Homer drooling.

Senor Weaselo

That’s gotta be tough, wrapping an entire goat in a tortilla

litre_cola

Goat burritos spund great. A little bit of curried jerk spice and you are in flavoUr country.

Fronkenshteen

I’m thinking the American League playoffs are going to be pretty goddamn good this year.

King Hippo

NL be all like “Dodgeros in four”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Fronkenshteen

Cabrera! Again!

scotchnaut

Jesus Monkey Christ! The NY Giants are thinner at cornerback than Karen Carpenter in February of ’83.

King Hippo

“Still could get thinner, though. TRY HARDER.” – Ghost of Karen C.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Jesus Monkey resents your phrasing.

herodotus450
herodotus450

Mike Sciosia can barely step anywhere, much less down
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blaxabbath

Gonna have to cut his steps in half once they take his foot due to the diabeetus.

Fronkenshteen

Why, compared to ex-players of other professional sports, do baseball players balloon up the way they do when their playing careers end?

herodotus450
herodotus450

Current hypothoses include:
1) they stop taking all those greenies
2) other sprots guys blow their heads off from CTE before they get a chance to get fat

nomonkeyfun

Also Sciosia’s generation weren’t workout guys. Weightlifting was bad for flexibility and being muscle bound (Bonds) was viewed as hindering bat speed etc.
Keith Hernandez has said he never did off-season exercise until he was about 28. He started running on a treadmill that year to keep off weight during the winter.

scotchnaut

I loved making eggs for my kids when they were younger. It’s probably because the only time I could have breakfast with my dad was if I helped him deliver milk and part-way through the day we’d sit at the same lunchenette(?) and could sorta chat for a bit. (I was about 6-9 yrs. old). I miss that old buzzard.

/this post brought to you by Freud For Dummies

blaxabbath

“So you killed him to have your mother to yourself!”

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Fronkenshteen

My mother started me off cooking by teaching me scrambled eggs first, then omelettes, when she thought I was confident enough. Maybe I was 8.
After that, my kitchen experiments were littered with horrendous failures. Almost burned the house down trying to make homemade zeppole. Underseasoned a lot of meats. Drowned my chicken cutlets in oil. Overcooked tons of veggies. You learn. But I vividly remember the genesis of all cooking curiosity coming from those early egg recipes. Thanks Mom!

blaxabbath

Jay Sekulow on ABC This Week.

In a Blax administration, there is a noose waiting on the National Mall (amongst hundreds of others) with this dickhead’s name on it.

herodotus450
herodotus450

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blaxabbath
LemonJello
LemonJello

“Supreme Overlord Blax is just a puppet for Big Hemp…smgdh, gobbless.”

herodotus450
herodotus450

Ducks sign John Gibson for 8 years? Anaheim turned into Montreal so fast it gave me CTE.

scotchnaut
herodotus450
herodotus450

Eh that guy seems to be assumiing that they would all leave as free agents and not get traded during the season for picks and prospects. I mean, not even Ottawa would be dumb enough to let that happen, right? …Right?
/Looks over to see Scotchnaut dousing himself in gasoline petrol

scotchnaut

We’ll come out of this with more practice pucks than you can count! And you can’t put a price on that.

scotchnaut

I haven’t had bacon in weeks now. Where did it all go wrong?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Few things in life are as good as a good omelette. Especially when trying to recover from a bad hangover.

Nicely done.

Spanky Datass
Spanky Datass

I mentioned earlier that i was at the airport, guess what magazine i the hairy,manly sprots man bought at the newsstand? SI? No. Goodell is a Disgrace Weekly? No. I grabbed Food and Wine : The Mexico Edition.
What? I’m gonna have to come up with at least a few dishes for ten or so humans this vacation!

Gratliff

Finally watching Dawkins’ induction speech and I’m not crying, you’re crying. Also, I’m crying.

Don T

I love cooking. It’s a staple of being an independent person, like producing your own income or flipping the bird at your parents’ back. And if you’re on a tight budget, you can get a cheap, satisfying meal outta eggs, bread, cheese, BUTTER,* and some version of salted pork.

* Margarine is Satan’s taint scum.

Spanky Datass
Spanky Datass

I’m at DFW airport and wasn’t planning on eating until i got to Philly. After reading this I MUST EAT NOW!!! Sunday Gravy strikes again.

ballsofsteelandfury

Last night’s games were all blowouts, but the previous 6 deserve a rewatch.