Saturday Night’s Alright FOAR…Keenum Vengeance!

I suppose maybe other things are going on in the universe tonight, but all Commentist Party eyes will no doubt be on Donks WOO! taking on yeah right’s Vikings (9:00 EST, NFLN).  New “thank Christ he’s not Trevor Siemian” QB Case Keenum was unceremoniously cast aside (after a career year he will never replicate) for…Captain Dingleberry?  Oh yeah, also coming off a career year he will never replicate and with a crippling, fully guaranteed contract that just don’t fly in the salcap era.

In short, you done fucked up, SKOL, and it starts tonight in whatevs they are calling Stade de Mile High now.  You want preview with potty-mouthed humour?

After the first two drives, the #Narrative will shift to a reprise of the saddest QB battle in EVAR, as the aforementioned castoff Siemian is now Minny’s #2, whilst functionally retar….Forrest Gumpian Paxton Lynch is still second on the Donks depth chart for the time being.  Everyone in Broncos country wants to see #Swag Kelly, because (i) perhaps he at least knows how to read; (ii) won’t go through one progression, then tuck the ball and run Tebow-style (only slower); and (iii) just because he’s not goddamned Siemian or Lynch.

Even the Vikings’ 3rd-stringer, Kyle Sloter, was the Donks’ 2017 camp darling.  I dunno, we prolly have a bunch of late 7th round picks now.

Though, sigh, as you can see from the featured picture, Cool Black Guy Coach is the only one at the Keenum roll-out presser who knows how to put on a normal muthafuckin’ pair of shoes.  Did blind lunatics dress Elway and Keenum?

Philip Rivers and the squadron Spanoi stole from San Diego travel to Team Desert DUI (10:00), who I presume must host due to ankle bracelet issues.  No live TV coverage unless you’re a local, which is irritating to those of us who’d like a look-see at Chosen Rosen.

In other crappy sports, FS1 has the Dirt Packers v. Dirt Falcons at 7:00, followed by MLBN with Dirt Raiders (for now) v. Dirt Disney or Dirt Iggles v. Dirt BOLTMEN! at 10:00.  I shall be streaming #BFIB kicking in the Dirt Chefs teeth yet again, whilst temporarily enjoying the DH.  HOT TAEK: MLB needs to expand to 32 teams, move to four 8-team divisions, with the NL adopting the DH.

There’s random Ecuadorian Lesser Footy on GOLTV, and if you’re a paedo (hai, Marc!!) feel free to tune into ESPN’s bizarre, wall-to-wall coverage of the Little League World Series.  Please, don’t be a paedo, ok?

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King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
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ballsofsteelandfury

Sydney by 14 at Half. Melbourne being wasteful, as usual.

ballsofsteelandfury

Australian Toyota Girl is so much hotter than English-speaking US Toyota Girl.

ballsofsteelandfury

Game Time Decision was the only one that picked the Doggies to win. He’s ON FIRE!

Brick Meathook

Watching Dan Rather interview Roger Waters while I was high was a multidimensional experience.

Brick Meathook

Now they’re making Dark Side of the Moon. This is a pretty cool documentary. It’s on the AXS Channel or something like that.

ballsofsteelandfury

DOGGIES BY 5 at Three Quarter Time! What a third quarter from them!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

And maybe they’ll escape without massive injuries to their stars, unlike my team.

Brick Meathook

Here’s what I look like trying to land an A380 while drunk off my ass.
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ballsofsteelandfury

Pictured: the plane’s reaction to you watching a shitty Chargers game.

Brick Meathook

I think I’m watching The Pink Floyd Channel right now. Not sure.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Yeah, mentally I’m fine.

Brick Meathook

I’m watching this awful Chargers game while writing checks to the IRS and to an accounting firm.

It’s fucking Saturday, man. My life sucks.

I’m going to change to the Pink Floyd documentary and do a big ol’ bong hit.

(bubbling sound of bong hit)

oh yeah

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

I wrote a memo earlier today. I have another one to write tomorrow. And that’s on top of finding an apartment that can make lady BFC Happy. Need some more fun.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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ballsofsteelandfury

I think the Roos are winning this. Up 28 at Half Time.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Woo hoo! Wine drinkin’ time!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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blaxabbath

San Diego wide receiver got hit during a catch and the ball hit the ground. I walk out of the room and return to see ARI returned that “fumble” for a TD. There is no WAY that play was not an incomplete pass last year

And so it begins….

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Spanky Datass

Wow! Crazy fast Roos goal … mate.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

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theeWeeBabySeamus

It’s not midnight yet, fucker.
Don’t presume…..

I can leave out in sub freezing temps in January, you might have payback.
Yeah, I’m still a little pissed off about that.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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ballsofsteelandfury

Roos by 4 at Quarter Time

theeWeeBabySeamus

It’s like I don’t even know you anymore.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

save us all the agony, and cut Lynch now.

Ummmmm….yeah I shouldn’t finish this joke. But something something 60s Mississippi something something.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yes HELL, I’ll be there shortly.

ballsofsteelandfury

Strip club trip?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Meh, there’s worse ways to go.

MAKE IT RAIN!!!!!!!

nomonkeyfun

You’ll be burning for that Mississippi joke.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I think you missed my point.

Which was admittedly terrible, so that’s good.

Lynch. Cut. Think about it.

I’ll be waiting….

theeWeeBabySeamus

Actually, I was saying that. Now I understand your comment.

/Hippo and tWBS get banned

Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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yeah right

The world could always use more plumbers.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Spanky Datass

(From) just-shower-thoughts (tumblr)
“Getting older as a man is realizing that Velma would be a better relationship partner Than Daphne.”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

But not necessarily a better cosplay sex partner.

Spanky Datass

True … true. But there are still Milana Vayntrub as Velma images on these interwebs.
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Could go either way. Not sure which would be the angrier pegger.

Brick Meathook

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Hey there, baby. Lemme show you my Deckel.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Spanky Datass

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yeah right

That’s sexy as fuck.

Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Mine is red.

My mixer, I mean.

yeah right

Mine too!

theeWeeBabySeamus

I KNOW!!!! I’VE SEEN YOURS!!!!!

(mixer, that is)

yeah right

Everybody has!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Everybody has!

We’re not talking ’bout mixers anymore, right?

yeah right

NOPE.

theeWeeBabySeamus

LMFAO

Spanky Datass

White.
Mine.
Yes … mixer … as well.
But not the Artisan Mini.
Classic Plus … drunk …

yeah right

I also have the matching red stick mixer.

Get on my level Cunts!

Spanky Datass

My immersion blender is large, chrome and black. You know you want to watch.

yeah right

This is one of my favorite threads recently.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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yeah right

At first I thought that was my foot operated three hole punch but then it looked like a laser table.

blaxabbath

Who the hell is the chargers qb2?

yeah right

It’s either Geno Smith or Cardale Jones.

Initial scouting says Philip Rivers must remain upright.

litre_cola

Dave Dickenson?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

David Dennison

theeWeeBabySeamus

Denny Davidson?

yeah right

It’s not Dave Duerson.

herodotus450

If I eat too much food tonight, that means I won’t eat as much tommorow. We Smrt.

litre_cola

Mrs Cola: Did you have to tell that guy off?
Me: He was a dick, the host agreed, he can fuck his Liverpool shit.
Mrs Cola: How much tequila did you have?
Me: Your host is Mexican, I couldn’t be rude.
Mrs. Cola: So what did he say, I know you.
Me: Fulham was going to go back down.
Mrs. Cola: Good work not throwing him into a bookcase
Me: No problem.

theeWeeBabySeamus

See? This guy gets it.

yeah right

So Arizona has a roof and a retractable field and the center of the turf is scorched as shit.

Fucking Arizona man.

blaxabbath

I think they like to do everything possible to remind us it’s just preseason.

Spanky Datass

I picked a butt-ton of peppers today and had planned to pickle some after grilling. Welp now I’m stuffed on pork chops and brats, well on the way to drunktown and those peppers are gonna have to wait.
And also, Aussie Footy in 30min.!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s43lsedS8dw

ballsofsteelandfury

Doggies playing good so far!

Brick Meathook

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theeWeeBabySeamus

OK, I finally got all the rednecks outta my house.
What are we doing?

herodotus450

We’re going shooting in order to impress our attractive cousins!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hey, I kept my thoughts to myself tonight. You guys would have been proud of me.

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yeah right

Oh Jesus, they’re breaking out the Little Miss Sunshine half time show.

Time to tune in to the local Chargers feed.

I can’t even.

herodotus450

maintain and
maintenance
are spelled annoyingly different.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Who’s got two thumbs, viewed six apartments today, and is ready to crawl into a hole and hibernate?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Apartment-hunting bear?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Oh wait no he doesn’t have opposable thumbs.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Those do.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

King Hippo will never consider visiting Europe now.

Spanky Datass

Artichoke.
Gruyere.
Gratin.
So easy and fucking delicious.

litre_cola

SHOW ME TO YOUR WINE CELLAR SIR.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook

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Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

He’s already pissed the local media fucks off, so I like him too.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

D-Mac and Alfred are the fucking worst.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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