Your “Dane You Mont to the Football Day” Saturday Night Football Open Thread

See? I can talk all kinds of fancy when the mood urges me! Do you like urges? I like them. They crawl into your mindhole and sit there festering, oozing that delicious milky-white substance that tastes a lot like room temperature ice cream. (h/t, Mr. Flacco) And then, and then.. Hey! Look over there-is that a psychotic break? Sure looks like one. TO THE GAMES!

Cin/Dal:

What’s a Jeff Driskel? He’s a qb that shines brightest in the preseason for the Bengali’s. In five games total he’s yet to throw an intercept. Matt Barkley might just be hearing footsteps. After all, it’s not like a USC college qb to fail hard in the pros. I don’t like Tavon Austin. There. I said it.

SF/Hou:

Whoa. Richard Sherman plays for the Niners now? [shakes head incredulously] The things you learn when you intentionally ignore an intentionally abrasive dude! He’s played just eight games over the last two years but be prepared to hear JJ Watt being gabbed about/fawned over more than necessary.

TB/TEN:

Rook rb Ronald Jones The Sequel (who the heck willingly calls themselves Ronald? My stepbrother for one and he’s a head-in-the-sand kind of guy) has thrust himself down the depth chart using the twin weapons of fumbling and not pass-blocking. Not well played, Ronald, not well-played.

CHI/DEN:

The Bears are one of the NFL’s flagship teams and yet I’ve never met anyone that really hates on them. That tells you what a non-descript team/organization they are. No wonder their fans remora (is that a verb? It is now) themselves so tightly to 1985.

Sea/LAC:

Will traveling Seahawk fans outnumber the amount of disoriented hobos in the stands? By way of an answer, I’ll tell you that the ticket give-away at the soup kitchen was a moderate success.

As this is a nighter thread, don’t be shy about talking about non-footballing thingies. I’d like to hear about that co-worker that drives you nuts, that Groupon thing that went sideways or that damn squirrel that puts those evil thoughts in your head. Do the thing that makes you [insert emotion here]

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Gotta love drinking outdoors.

Mr. Ayo

And indoors. Really anywhere.

Mr. Ayo

Woah, I’m actually watching an AFL match. Live.

The recap will be especially relevant to me this week.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

That guy’s helmet makes him look like Tron

Mr. Ayo

This is accurate.

Mr. Ayo

This match is a real cracker.

Mr. Ayo

Woah, they call the pitch the “deck” which doesn’t sound that way with their accents.

Nothing like taking a guy down to the “deck”

Brick Meathook

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Wakezilla

Yeesh

“Another tragic story to report, as Korn singer Jonathan Davis‘ estranged wife Deven died today (August 17th) at the age of 39. According to TMZ, Deven’s death comes on the same day Jonathan had filed a restraining order against her.”

Brocky

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Brocky

2 years ago…. how time flies

Wakezilla

Seamus, your O’s need to bring these back

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theeWeeBabySeamus

I hope you’re referring to the four 20 game winners and not the unis.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Also, first person (besides me) who can identify these old fuckers (without cheating) wins a prize.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Meh fuck it, I know you’ll all cheat. It’s why I love ya’s.

Mike Cuellar, Pat Dobson, Dave McNally, Jim Palmer

Gratliff

Ah yes, famous Money Store spokesperson, Jim Palmer, who was a cornerstone of my youth.

theeWeeBabySeamus

You forgot his Jockey Shorts foray…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fnWy9ZDj_IE

theeWeeBabySeamus

I wonder how much Eddie Murray, Rick Dempsey and Cal Jr. made off this one?
Not much, I’m guessing….
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yF2DWkXEGQc

Wakezilla

No man, those unis are noice. As a Millenial, that makes me right, too!

I only recognize Jim Palmer mainly from his broadcasting and his commercials for Money Mart, or whatever it was. Something to do with predatory loans.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Dude, I’m a dyed in the wool Orioles fan since birth.
And even I think those things are hideous.

Wakezilla

If they were to get modernized, they’d be the best selling jerseys in beisbal. They remind me of the 80s LioUns jerseys

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Col. Duke LaCross

How in the hell is Roberto Aguayo still getting camp invites? Surely there’s a kicker from like a fifth place Pac12 team that isn’t nearly as big a headcase and is reasonably accurate?

Wakezilla

Aside from the yips, was Aguayo a headcase?

Gratliff

Is it just me or does it seem like songs make it to heavy rotation way late in their life cycle these days? S.O.B. a couple years ago comes to mind. I wonder if it’s just because there’s so much shit to sift through these days. Apparently, this fucking thing has been out for a year and it’s recently become 40% of the local rock station rotation.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JcYaAu01Q2Y

Gratliff

I guess the Canadian dollar is up

BrettFavresColonoscopy

The GWS match was as painful to watch as a finger wave from Edward Scissorhands

theeWeeBabySeamus

Fuck Sydney.
Always the right answer.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

GETTING FINGERED BY EDWARD SCISSORHANDS COME ON IT WAS RIGHT THERE.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Or else you could have gone with “a prostate inspection by”.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

That’s what a finger wave is…