Your “Greatest Hits Albums Are For Housewives and Little Girls” Monday Evening Open Thread

Beerguyrob

Beerguyrob

A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
Beerguyrob

Happy Labour Day. It’s the final day of the three-day weekend in Canada. I don’t know how many Americans get it off as well. Hopefully you got the chance to sit down on the patio & take in your favourite intoxicant.

Of course, it means also that tomorrow is the start of a new school year & the countdown to Christmas (aka “the war on ‘Happy Holidays'”) has begun.

But it also means that football starts this week, so get ready for some changes in the evening posting schedule. Scotchy will have you on Monday, Thursday & Sunday nights for game-night open threads, Fridays will still be an open – possibly sexy – forum, and I’ll be covering the rest of the days with my unique brand of banality. Surely, the best days are ahead of us.


Tonight’s sports:

  • CFL:
    • Argonauts vs. Tiger-Cats – 6:30PM | TSN
  • NCAA:
    • Virginia Tech at Florida State – 8:00PM | ESPN / TSN3 (in progress)
  • U.S. Open Tennis:
    • Round of 16 – 7:00PM | ESPN2 / TSN2
  • MLB:
    • Rays at Jays – 7:00PM | Sportsnet
  •  WWE:
    • Monday Night Raw – 8:00PM | USA / Sportsnet360

Remember – unions can be productive forces for creating workplace equanimity, but going too far can lead to one problem.

Beerguyrob
Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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Senor WeaseloBeerguyrobBrettFavresColonoscopyBrick Meathookballsofsteelandfury Recent comment authors
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Senor Weaselo

I feel like this should have been posted, but it wasn’t.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Why is Scott Van Pelt on TV? He must have a hell of an agent. Same with Trevor Noah.

Wakezilla

The good: My back felt good enough, so I took Troubledzilla to the Labour Day Classic

The Bad: Since I have been home, I cannot stand anymore. Fuck.

Back pain is no joke

BrettFavresColonoscopy

This…was a weird Monday.

ballsofsteelandfury

You wanna elaborate on that one?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Eh. Not really. Just didn’t feel like a holiday but didn’t feel like a Sunday either. Plus flying again tomorrow.

King Hippo

fat guy tips to another fat guy FOAR pickerception. Fitting denouncement.

Fronkenshteen

If tech keeps playing like this, we’ll be watching them on New Years. Frank Beamer held this program back for at least a decade.
Has anyone ever had hot cherry peppers on pizza?

King Hippo

I wouldn’t say Beamer held them back so much as that Fuente is really, really good. But yeah, Beamer had grown stale and needed to retire. They had to get the next hire right, though.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

The Seminoles should have checked the Defense option for this year’s team.

King Hippo

pretty damned good throw

King Hippo

gobble gobble, that’s all folks!

Redshirt

Its almost like VT wants to be a good guest and give them a TD, but FSU’s being a better host by declining.

King Hippo

I approve of the generally good defensing in this match, but it’s been pretty fucking weird.

Fronkenshteen

Anyone else catch the Yeti logo on the cooler in the Coors ad? A subtle fuck you to the NRA? What are Pete Coors’ politics these days?
GET ON THAT BALL!

King Hippo

Pete Coors was from the (no presumably ded) moderate bidness wing of the Colorado GOP. Dunno if he decided to get on Train del Fuhrer or nae.

Fronkenshteen

#3 on VPI learns how to tackle, it’s still comfortably ahead 17-3 with the ball @ midfield.

King Hippo

So many Florida Men and Future Florida Men in that stadium. I’d wager 20% have owned or will own a gator at some point in their lives.

WCS

I’m not watching, but, I’m pretty sure 90% of them also defended Jameis Winston his entire FSU career, and post Facebook memes against NFL players kneeling during the anthem.

King Hippo

It’s about RESPECT

/wipes chaw spit with flag napkin

ALXMAC
ALXMAC

REPOST:

ALXMAC
ALXMAC

It worked!!

ALXMAC
ALXMAC

until it didn’t….

Redshirt

Aw! We almost had bingo.

King Hippo

They want it. BAD. I half think they fucked up scoring the TD on purpose.

King Hippo

I only bet the first half ($50 on VPI moneyline at +190) but I didn’t bet the full game because I worried there could be a comeback. Woopsie doodle.

Redshirt

No flag for Roughing the Punter?

Redshirt

Ah, nevermind.

yeah right

These SEC centric MAGA commercials ain’t making me feel great about watching college football folks.

I’ll drink more beer to overcome the distraction.

/ not made in Mississippi.

Redshirt

Try being in Ohio. I’m responding to the Goebbels-esque commercials by going “Yeah, but…”, to “That’s too far.”, to awkward silence.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

You lost me at “try being in Ohio”

King Hippo

As we all inevitably consider head-in-oven quality time tomorrow, remember…Sunny the 13th premieres Wednesday night. We should semi-live blog this magnificent event in the night thread.

Redshirt

What do you find more shameful of me? Being a Conservative or not watching one single episode of “Its Always Sunny in Philadelphia”?

King Hippo

Oh, I can completely understand being a conservative. But the latter is on par with being a young person who wears bow ties on an everyday basis.

blaxabbath

Sunny

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

JFC, get your life in order. Watch Sunny already.

Gratliff

There’s nothing wrong with being wrong, but missing out on Sunny is fucked up

King Hippo

We are just a safety short of Hokie BINGO

ALXMAC
ALXMAC

BINGO WILD CARD SQUARE: University of Oklahoma hired Shane Beamer as “Assistant head coach & tight ends coach” this past off-season. On Saturday against FAU Oklahoma blocked a punt and recovered it for a touchdown for the 1st time since 2002. The punt was blocked by a TE.

ALXMAC
ALXMAC

King Hippo

I love this so much.

King Hippo

The virus is spreading, doctor!!

King Hippo

why has WCS not yet posted the Frank Beamer gif?

WCS

comment image

Because I’m watching Saul.

King Hippo

Some of us saving that for dodging work tomorrow! But thanks, glad youse not ded prior to getting to gloat over beating NC State to a bloody pulp in 12 days.

One of the dudes (another Yinzer) at my auction is going to the game with a truckload of fellow ‘eers, suspect there will be track suits aplenty in Carter-Finley.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

The anti labor sentiment in America is another example of conservatives succeeding in getting working people to vote against their own interests.

Own the libs by getting fucked on your retirement!

King Hippo

what I read somewhere, the American poor are different in that they don’t see themselves as oppressed (except somehow by nigh powerless black and brown ppl), but rather temporarily embarrassed millionaires.

See also the greatest heresy ever known to man, the Prosperity Gospel

Redshirt

So its 1896?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’ve been drinking like it is.

Redshirt

Okay, having Andy Dalton beat you out is one thing. But being beat out by Nathan “Platinum Sombrero” Peterman?

https://www.cbssports.com/nfl/news/after-trading-aj-mccarron-bills-name-2017-fifth-rounder-nathan-peterman-starting-qb/

King Hippo

in terms of NFL-readiness, Brokeback QB is liquid shit

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Anyone else watching tennis?

ArmedandHammered
ArmedandHammered

The missus and I are watching. Fed beating up someone I have never heard of before.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Millman? He’s the head of Action Network, formerly the gambling head at ESPN.

ALXMAC
ALXMAC

ALXMAC
ALXMAC

King Hippo

I endorse this non-consensual sex act being somehow performed by a bunch of castrated turkeys.

Redshirt

…something something this game…something something Seminole Wars…

I’m tired, okay!

blaxabbath

I thought I once read about a FF league where the goal was to score as few points as possible — but your players all had to score each week.

Was that on the old Bud Light Lime ad site?

Game Time Decision

the guys from footballoutsiders do that, or did at one point

blaxabbath

I think that actually sounds fun.

Game Time Decision

yep just as hard
and think they just needed to have a catch or a run to count for scoring.
nothing like learning the names for the 5th stringers from the 500’s

King Hippo

Do negative points count as scoring?

blaxabbath

Yes. You just can’t be like, “I’ll start Nathan Peterman every week HURRRRR!”

Game Time Decision

yes, you want the 1 catch\run for zero or negative yards or missed field goal\extra point.
Not sure about defenses, i assume you want them to get blown out, and no sacks or int’s

blaxabbath

I am literally standing watching the charcoal burn with an orange blossom ale in my hand.

If I run for office, I’m presenting a second Labor Day six months from today.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Or, hear me out… LaboUr WEEK!

litre_cola

I appreciate this spelling.

Gratliff

Hey you never should have disinvited Steve Bannon from your festival. My dad was in the navy. Get ready @NewYorker for pictures like this in the trillions pic.twitter.com/1LsR96geE7

— Paul F. Tompkins (@PFTompkins) September 4, 2018

https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js

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SonOfSpam

That is fucking awesome.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Speaking as a veteran, anyone who brags about someone else’s military service and tries to receive some kind of credit for it can suck my great big radioactive dick.

SonOfSpam

How big, how radioactive, and do we have to brag about Marine Todd?

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

I can make love to the Holland Tunnel and light up northern New Jersey.

Redshirt

That was you in the tunnel? Does that mean we did it?

Redshirt

This is where the punishment should be “Put in the center of a military base. If you make it out, your safe. You have a two minute head start.”

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Particularly if it’s a parent. “My dad was in Vietnam.” Good for him. You don’t get any points for that.

King Hippo

you DO get a USAA membership, though…

blaxabbath

Seriously? He’s also a PFT?

He’s like Country Mac, but for pftc.

Fronkenshteen

That dumb fucking personal foul is going to lead to FSU points.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Nailed It!

-Blair Walsh

blaxabbath

Does everyone go with blair walsh jokes as much as us?

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

I’m surprised a missed XP/FG isn’t called an Aguayo at this point.

litre_cola

In my first Auction draft right now and the trolling is world class by my buddies. Up bidding everyone’s favoUrite guys.

Game Time Decision

first football draft is tonight. I somehow managed to get the top pick. Crap, i feel pressure not to f it up before the season even starts.
Thinking to go Kicker, defense, defense, and then TE.

Redshirt

I haven’t placed any Fantasy Football nor know any rules, but I think you should avoid all QBs and RBs until the later rounds.

Game Time Decision

thanks, going to take this sage advice to heart.

Senor Weaselo

I suggest Dan Bailey!

Fronkenshteen

Grab 3 or 4 rbs first, then take Larry Fitz and Chris Hogan. They’ll be there, trust me.

Game Time Decision

fitz is gone, it’s keeper league and someone kept him…..wtf

Fronkenshteen

Someone kept mark Ingram in mine.

Game Time Decision

someone kept Cooper in mine, but there are still top 20 players available

SonOfSpam

I like Nike.

And I only hope that people who cut swooshes out of their clothes do it while wearing them. Herd needs culling, y’all.

Also, happy Labo(u?)r Day.

Gratliff

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Gratliff

You know he’s a fun guy because his next tweet was asking someone if they’ve earned the right to disrespect a marine. I love my fellow human beings.

SonOfSpam

Fuck everything.

Redshirt

(warning moderate Conservative slant)

Agree in part. Though I agree fully with the intensions behind the protests and moreso his right to protest, I didn’t like how Colin Kaepernick didn’t fully take charge in leading or explaining exactly why he was kneeling in the first place (also wearing the pig-cops socks turned me off). That allowed Trump to hijack the protest and say its disrespecting the flags and the troops, which last I heard all branches of the American armed forces teach about how to identify the difference between a hostile and an innocent on the battlefield and when it is appropriate to respond with lethal force.

That being said, I don’t really care if Kaep is the new face of Nike. I don’t like it. I don’t hate it. I null it.

That being said, those who feel so strongly that they feel like they need to cut a logo off of clothing, might probably be removed from the genepool. There’s bigger issues in the world that this.

Also, Kaep should’ve really get a chance at the NFL. There has to be some team based in a liberal city that needs a quality backup.

SonOfSpam

He explained it. Trump was allowed to hijack it because ignorant white people think cops are always right when interacting with uppity minorities and that if blacks are LUCKY enough to be gifted a spot in a lucrative sports league, they need to shut up and say yessuh massa at every opportunity. The blowback against Kaepernick is racism, pure and simple.

Gratliff

You misspelled economic anxiety!

SonOfSpam

WHITE SHEETS DON’T PAY FOR THEMSELVES

Fronkenshteen

I also love the argument they shouldn’t use the anthem as their time to protest. “Could you please protest more privately please?”

Redshirt

If it was me, I would’ve removed the helmet decals. You can spin a 2-7 minute soundbite to fit your point of view, but you can’t spin 3-4 hours of playing in plain helmets.

Gratliff

El Rog 1000% would put a hit out on anyone who did that. This is the dress code we’re talking about, not some little thing like legal murder!

Redshirt

I’m slowly realizing that “ignorant white people” is the cause of most suffering in human history.

Redshirt

Ohio State’s crowd just cheered the Bella Twins on Raw. I can stand behind them keeping Urban Meyer. I can’t stand behind this.

(sobs)

Fronkenshteen

VPI is fucking LIVE!

herodotus450
herodotus450

Why did Jimbo Fisher leave FSU? Because of the subpar way he handled the case where one of his players was under investigation for, but not charged for rape by a possibly corrupt police department? Sounds familiar…

Gratliff

Twitter is full of shitheads cutting the swoosh out of $70 dollar hoodies and I’m here for it

Redshirt

Try being on Facebook with people from Ohio. They forward pro-Trump things that I try to scroll by before my brain can read it and process it into memory.

Gratliff

I’ve muted so many people on facebook at this point that I can’t say for sure how many of my family members are still among the living

Fronkenshteen

All I know is I want to try to get Mahmoud Ahmadinajad in my fantasy football league. Is that illegal?

Redshirt

For now, yes. But it may change if the GOP stays in power in November.

herodotus450
herodotus450

Uh point of order, that US Open schedule it should be noted, includes a one Maria Sharapova. So we got that going for us.

Redshirt

John Breech at CBSsports.com has his hands on some seriously good shit and he’s holding out on us!

https://www.cbssports.com/nfl/news/2018-nfl-season-bold-predictions-final-record-for-all-32-teams-and-playoff-picks/

Senor Weaselo

Is your favorite team going to make it to Super Bowl LIII?

Just a guess, no they are not. Unless they buy tickets or watch on TV.

scotchnaut

I’ve recently gone all-in on Mindhunters-to the extent that I want the lesbian lead to hook up with the central heterosexual male protagonist. The reason why I want this to happen is because I’m over 40 years old and this is how everything gets resolved in real life.

Redshirt

“Pray them Bi” is a slogan I think we can all agree on.

scotchnaut

Fun Reminder:

BoobguyRob brings it every time he feels like it, 75% of the time.