Your “More Games? The Sacrifice Worked!” Sunday Afternoon Football Open Thread

He looked quite unimposing as he stepped off the bus. I was sitting on a bench nearby and he asked me,  “where am I?” I said, “somewhere you probably don’t want to be’. “Story of my life. You got a smoke for an old man?” I gave him the last one I had. “Anything to do around here?”, he asked hopefully. “Nope”, I replied.

We ended up walking towards the park and I told him that I had a can of beans that I’d share with him if he was hungry. “You’re a good man. I hope to return the favor one day”, he drawled. We got a fire going just as the sun was going down. I poked a few holes in the can and set it near the fire to warm. “Hospitality like this doesn’t come round too often. You don’t have anything strange up your sleeve, do ya?” Feeling the pressure of the small knife in my back pocket I smiled and said, “not up my sleeve, no”. He laughed, “that’s a good one, right there”. He relaxed and laid his head on his bunched-up jacket. I told I had to take a leak and walked out of his line of vision to do my business.

“It sure does feel like things might… might be turning aroun… Gar! Phhh! Hunnggg!” I had pulled his head back, exposing his wrinkled, stubbly throat. The knife went easily. I worked it around a little. He struggled a bit but this wasn’t exactly my first ride. I held him tightly with my other arm then gradually relaxed as he came to the realization that the end was a cold, hard fact.

It was a bit cool, I noted to myself as I got into my car, changed out of the shabby clothes I was in and headed for home. With the chillier weather coming I guess I’ll have to find a place indoors for the new friends that I make. I took a long pull on my flask and yelled to no one at all, “TO THE GAMES!”

Chiefs/Chargers:

Joey Bosa is in a walking boot, people! The only question left as far as Dandy Andy’s pre-game ritual is concerned is: beef or chicken? Either way, “The Supping from the Gravy Boat” really brings the team together.

Hawks/Broncos:

Perfectly cromulent Case Keenum leads the Broncs into battle vs. them Seattle folks but methinks that the play of youngsters, Freeman, Sutton and Chubb will be a better indicator of success.

‘Dacteds/Cards:

Alex Smith? Sam Bradford? I’m so confused.

‘Boys/Panthers:

The fella that put the “ass” in Dallass, de Gregory, was flagged for a ‘substance-related relapse’ last month. My prediction-after he’s finally released by the Cowboys he’ll latch onto one more team and then be a distant memory in two year’s time.

 

Type.

554
Leave a Reply

Please Login to comment
279 Comment threads
275 Thread replies
0 Followers
 
Most reacted comment
Hottest comment thread
34 Comment authors
Horatio CornblowerMoose -The End Is Well NighLemonJelloKing HippotheeWeeBabySeamus Recent comment authors
  Subscribe  
Notify of
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“The benefits of simple origami are two fold.”

Teddy's Bridge Over Troubled Water
Teddy's Bridge Over Troubled Water

I need 6 points from Trey Burton. I feel like I’m boned.

King Hippo

PPR? You get. Non-PPR? You sweat.

Teddy's Bridge Over Troubled Water
Teddy's Bridge Over Troubled Water

It is PPR but I have absolutely zero faith in Tittie Kissin’ Mitch.

King Hippo

The coach is so good he will get sommet out of the functional illiterate.

Spur
Spur

So the Cowboys blow it at the end? Seems about right.

King Hippo

sorry, wrong place

theeWeeBabySeamus

They blew it long before the end.

Spur
Spur

the left just enough hope to make it soul crushing.

theeWeeBabySeamus

At least you’ll have the Raiders soon.
Sorry, that’s not better is it?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

King Hippo

BREAKING NEWS: West By God Virginia apparently opened as merely a 1 point favourite over my shitty wolves. I implore you to bet many moneys on WCS’s fuckers du cousins.

LemonJello
LemonJello

Did you see the drubbing ECU gave U*NC?

theeWeeBabySeamus

The very definition of a Sophie’s Choice.

King Hippo

I did NAWT (have policy against watching Holes for inverse jinx reasons), but my kid was there and I was very happy they did it. Tracked score last 3 quarters. U*NC could easily go 1-11 now, and this makes me oh so very happy.

LemonJello
LemonJello

I was following ECU and AppSt on my phone – good to see the tuition I pay being used for something important, and not so-called “education.”

theeWeeBabySeamus

Oh dear lord, please don’t be tempting me like that.
/takes out second mortgage
//drops it all on the ‘Eers

Redshirt

I just realized the Bengals win means I’m get to see sportcasters’s attempt to pronounce “Fejedelem”.

King Hippo

“that white guy”

Romonobyl

So they’ve discovered cloned horses at an Argentinian polo match. That explains the SkyNet blimp above the arena.

LemonJello
LemonJello

Naming them Himmler, Bormann, Goebbels, Goring and Heydrich was probably too blatant.

Wakezilla

Lost in all the Serena Williams coverage (at least here): No one is mentioning how she played like dog shit. 6 double faults is ridiculous

Redshirt

Since there is still a 1:00 game playing, does that mean the Early Thread is still open?

Gatoraids
Gatoraids

Yo gabbert going to give it to ya corners

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

yeah right

Grilled brats, grilled chicken sausage, grilled corn on the cob plus the Vikings win?

I hereby declare this NFL season OPEN!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

yeah right

Drew?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Drew:

comment image

theeWeeBabySeamus

How many times have I told you that you can’t grill the kids no matter how annoying they are because CPS frowns on that and…

Oh, you meant the other kind of brats.

Teddy's Bridge Over Troubled Water
Teddy's Bridge Over Troubled Water

Cowboy pizza and hot wings here! SKOL buddy!

Redshirt

Leftover pizza from Friday night and leftover Chinese from Saturday night!

yeah right

SKOL! Brother.

Gatoraids
Gatoraids

Long island’s grilled wings and carnitas checking in

Romonobyl

Leftover turkey kielbasa with pasta and olive oil here, trying to dial it back a bit. Not even drinking…DURING A COWBOYS GAME!!!!

Gratliff

Turkey kielbasa is how you lose football games, I mean my god, sir.

Romonobyl

I know, but it’s not that bad. Just trying to get the old BMI a bit more reasonable. I’m not what you would call fat, but could be thinner.

Gratliff

Dak Prescott would look good in midnight green. Practice squad could always use depth.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Sharkbait
Sharkbait

In one of my leagues, there is a score of 132-38.

yeah right

Holy Jesus.

Redshirt

Did the Panthers intentionally run the play clock out or did Cam spend too much time celebrating that he forgot to kneel down one more time?

LemonJello
LemonJello

That would never have happened if Jerry Richardson was still alive.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

theeWeeBabySeamus

Something something detonators something something

Romonobyl

Apparently the Cowboys are taking the “no wide receivers” offensive option.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

King Hippo

sure showed Dez imo

Gratliff

Insanity in Miami. EVeryone has given up.

King Hippo

Too bad only like 20-25 ppls will get to see the no doubt epically shit-tastic conclusion

Teddy's Bridge Over Troubled Water
Teddy's Bridge Over Troubled Water

Did the defenses leave with all the people in the stands?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

fleshwound_NPG
fleshwound_NPG

Indeed we live in Hellworld now, but we do still have the Cowboys fucking up on Sundays.

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli

If we have to live in Hell, so does THE DOUBLE J.

King Hippo

yeeeeeehawwwwwwww

Romonobyl

Welp…

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Gratliff

DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAK

Col. Duke LaCross

CHUH CHUH

King Hippo

Pac-Man, chuh chuh!

ThePirateSloth
ThePirateSloth

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

King Hippo

LOL, SeaTruthers

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

On to Chi***!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

King Hippo

61 seconds, no timeouts, rested Von.

King Hippo

even better now

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

JustStopDude
JustStopDude

When really drunk…a good curry is fucking awesome…

LemonJello
LemonJello

Jump to the Carolina/Dallas match – Kuechly is injured. Maybe the footy ISN’T your calling after all? Have you thought about selling insurance or maybe cars?

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Kuechly ded

Spanky Datass
Spanky Datass

Zeke broke Kuech!

1 4 5 6