Your “More Cheddar Than You Can Swing a Stick At!” Full Tilt NFL Action Open Thread

And we’re not tilting at windmills, friends-this be the real thing and all. I trust you have a very many intoxicants and mood-enhancers at arm’s length, that you’ve finished tying the children up in the basement, (or crawlspace, either one is fine) handed the wife a few 20’s and said, “you haven’t seen [insert frenemy here] in such a long time-why don’t you invite her out to brunch?” You’re a regular Howard Roark from The Fountainhead, aren’t you? It’s your way or the highway-you’re not gonna watch the games with a bunch of damn collectivists. “It’s too important a day for ‘people'”, you say to yourself. “One must strike out on one’s own. Establish the trail. Go it alone. Stand tall.”

Damn, that was one fine #feverdream, wasn’t it? Just do what you do, barge into the comments as you see fit and make with the funny. TO THE GAMES!

Steelers/Brownies:

Did you stash James Connor at the end of your fantasy bench because you’re a sneaky weasel? Well done. Tire Rod gets the start in Cleveland and talent-wise the cupboard isn’t its usual bare shelf. It might be enough vs. a Bell-less Pitt team.

Bengalis/Colts:

Things are looking up in Indy now that Mr. Luck is back behind center. Starting rb Mack is out however but is he really going to carry the load this year? The backfield just looks very thin to me.

Titans/Fins:

Them Titans are putting together the old “Thunder and Lightning” backfield duo of Derrick Henry and Dion Lewis. Personally, I expect Henry to have a monster season in 2018 after being robbed of carries by the battered shell of DeMarco Murray last year.

Niners/Vikers:

Jimmy G’s short-passing game plan vs. the aggressive Minny D went out the window when rb MacKinnon blew an axle. In steps the very adequate journeyman Alfred Morris and the untested Matt Breida. That’s a step back, for sure.

Texans/Pats:

Last year Houston barely lost 36-33 to a Brady that was looking to go long to Cooks and Gronk. The pressure applied by the Texans d-line made the game close. I’m sure they’ll go back to the well game-planning-wise while the Pats feature a dink and dunk game with Burkhead, Hogan and some undrafted guy from East Boston Tech. Pats win.

Bills/Ravens:

Buffalo, this is Nathan Peterman’s team now. Govern yourselves accordingly.

Jags/Giant:

Much yackety-yakking focuses around the Old Dirty Beckham/J. Ramsey  tete-a-tete but I think the key will be te Engram on lb Gipson. Gipson is a fine player but he doesn’t have the speed to keep up with Engram. He’s got that in common with every other lb in the league. Yes, the Giants O appears to be more dynamic (and more importantly) free of the influence of the Coughlin/MacAdoo mindset that resided there for so long. That said, if I see a delayed draw play on a 3rd and long obvious passing down I will murder everything on my street. Grandmothers, toddlers, puppies… I don’t care. EVERYTHING MUST GO!

It’s all yours now.

 

788
Leave a Reply

Please Login to comment
383 Comment threads
405 Thread replies
1 Followers
 
Most reacted comment
Hottest comment thread
38 Comment authors
BeerguyrobFronkenshteenKing HippoBrettFavresColonoscopyLemonJello Recent comment authors
  Subscribe  
Notify of
Fronkenshteen

Hippo. Who was the Broncos QB in that mid-70s Supe they lost 27-10 to Dallas?

Beerguyrob

Craig Morton.

Fronkenshteen

What has two thumbs and isn’t going to work for the first Sunday in 10 years?
THIS GUY!

/ my fantasy skills are still atrocious

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Go Browns, Go!

Doktor Zymm

I don’t remember, did the Chargers have a defense last year?

LemonJello
LemonJello

I think it was “If the stadium don’t fit, well, just quit.”

Doktor Zymm

MORE BROWNS
comment image

Fronkenshteen

Why Tyrod? Why?

fleshwound_NPG
fleshwound_NPG

welp, OT…like the call, tho

King Hippo

agreed

King Hippo

oh fuck everything

Wakezilla

Leveon Bell became the biggest Browns fan

Wakezilla

Ready for the heartbreak for the Browns?

King Hippo

#ThePauls, playing FOAR THE WIN IN REGULATION!

JustStopDude
JustStopDude

Big Ben look broken. Big Been no play good. Big Ben says no means yes.

King Hippo

Jeeeeeem comes as the Hail Mary is short.

Petronel
Petronel

Mr. Nel, looking at the Ratbirds game: “And we can’t cut away from this for a competitive game? LIke the Browns?”

JustStopDude
JustStopDude

There is a statement not made by a broadcaster since ever….

King Hippo

strange days, indeed

Ian Scott McCormick

If it makes my fellow Giants fans any happier, the drive would have ended with Evan Engram dropping a 4th and 12 pass attempt anyway.

Sharkbait
Sharkbait

The stream here cut out right before the punt. I think the football gods wanted to spare my Wife, her bother and my sister’s husband

Wakezilla

Saints are now one score from tying!

Sharkbait
Sharkbait

Make it Thomas!

Wakezilla

Just remember folks, the Browns will Browns once you start believing

Doktor Zymm

One foot, two foot, red foot, blue foot

Wakezilla

So, if Pittsburgh loses the game, The Ben has to retire, right?

fleshwound_NPG
fleshwound_NPG

MOAR TIME TO EAT CHOCO TACOS AND RAPEY THINGS, HARF HARF

JustStopDude
JustStopDude

The Steelers fan base demands the coaches head and the racists in PA come out in mass.

Doktor Zymm

There will be A LOT of burning trash tossed in his yard

Brocky

Of course not. Not enough melanin He’s had shitty games before and he almost never gets crap for it.

Tomlin and bell will get all the blame.

Petronel
Petronel

OH FOR FUCK’s SAKE

Spur
Spur

GG Josh Gordon. Smoke’em if you got’em

Fronkenshteen

FACTORY OF JOY

fleshwound_NPG
fleshwound_NPG

SADNESS FACTORY DAY OFF MONDAY?!?!?!

JustStopDude
JustStopDude

Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit!

King Hippo

BongDOWN!!!

Petronel
Petronel

Oh, for the days when a Tomsulas two-minute drill actually meant something…

Doktor Zymm

What are the current Vegas odds on the Eagles winning the NFC East?

JustStopDude
JustStopDude

Browns make the stop! Yay!

Browns offense will get the ball!….oh fuck…

King Hippo

BELIEVELAND!!

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

TU-ROD!

LemonJello
LemonJello

Odd Week Jaguras!

King Hippo

everything old is new again

fleshwound_NPG
fleshwound_NPG

Bungles/Browns could be tied for 1st place and undefeated in 4 minutes

1 6 7 8