Your “More Games? The Sacrifice Worked!” Sunday Afternoon Football Open Thread

He looked quite unimposing as he stepped off the bus. I was sitting on a bench nearby and he asked me,  “where am I?” I said, “somewhere you probably don’t want to be’. “Story of my life. You got a smoke for an old man?” I gave him the last one I had. “Anything to do around here?”, he asked hopefully. “Nope”, I replied.

We ended up walking towards the park and I told him that I had a can of beans that I’d share with him if he was hungry. “You’re a good man. I hope to return the favor one day”, he drawled. We got a fire going just as the sun was going down. I poked a few holes in the can and set it near the fire to warm. “Hospitality like this doesn’t come round too often. You don’t have anything strange up your sleeve, do ya?” Feeling the pressure of the small knife in my back pocket I smiled and said, “not up my sleeve, no”. He laughed, “that’s a good one, right there”. He relaxed and laid his head on his bunched-up jacket. I told I had to take a leak and walked out of his line of vision to do my business.

“It sure does feel like things might… might be turning aroun… Gar! Phhh! Hunnggg!” I had pulled his head back, exposing his wrinkled, stubbly throat. The knife went easily. I worked it around a little. He struggled a bit but this wasn’t exactly my first ride. I held him tightly with my other arm then gradually relaxed as he came to the realization that the end was a cold, hard fact.

It was a bit cool, I noted to myself as I got into my car, changed out of the shabby clothes I was in and headed for home. With the chillier weather coming I guess I’ll have to find a place indoors for the new friends that I make. I took a long pull on my flask and yelled to no one at all, “TO THE GAMES!”

Chiefs/Chargers:

Joey Bosa is in a walking boot, people! The only question left as far as Dandy Andy’s pre-game ritual is concerned is: beef or chicken? Either way, “The Supping from the Gravy Boat” really brings the team together.

Hawks/Broncos:

Perfectly cromulent Case Keenum leads the Broncs into battle vs. them Seattle folks but methinks that the play of youngsters, Freeman, Sutton and Chubb will be a better indicator of success.

‘Dacteds/Cards:

Alex Smith? Sam Bradford? I’m so confused.

‘Boys/Panthers:

The fella that put the “ass” in Dallass, de Gregory, was flagged for a ‘substance-related relapse’ last month. My prediction-after he’s finally released by the Cowboys he’ll latch onto one more team and then be a distant memory in two year’s time.

 

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fleshwound_NPG

TIE-KKAKE??!?

King Hippo

YOU STUPID BUMBLEFUCKS! Take the point!!!

Spur

The Panthers offense seems “up tempo”. I miss Shula.

Wakezilla

We might get a tie!!!!!!

Mr. Ayo

Not so fast. This is the Browns.

Petronel

WHY CAN I NOT WATCH THIS GODDAMN GAME NOBODY CARES ABOUT THE DAMN REDACTEDS

Senor Weaselo

Is it happening?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

oh goddamnit, you better run now, save the draw.

Sharkbait

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

YEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!

ah belieeeeeevvvvvvvvve

Mr. Ayo

Nailed It!

-Blair Walsh

Gratliff

oh my god

King Hippo

at the very least, #ThePauls have covered. PROGRESS

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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LemonJello

Is this from the Deliverance remake?

blaxabbath

A Lee: [Punts]

Announcer (while ball is in air): Wow – Andy Lee is one of the best punters in the game.

Ball: [Bounces into end zone]

Announcer: And we’ll be right back after these commercials by an insurance company that doesn’t have any money set aside to pay out claims.

Gratliff

Marmalard is still starting too? Do careers just not end anymore?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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JustStopDude

I have a feeling that this promotion is going to backfire…
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People will get annoyed seeing these fucking things day in and day out, reminding them that the Browns can’t win.

And if by god they finally do, the beer is going to be skunked.

Then again…its Bud Light…so how would anyone notice?

Senor Weaselo

If the Browns tie, is it half-price Bud Light?

blaxabbath

What’s all this now?

JustStopDude

Budweiser installed these things all over Cleveland. When…well more like IF the Browns finally win a game, they will be opened up and the beer is free.

Petronel

That is so many oniony layers of depressing.

LemonJello

Bradford looks confused about that…no, wait, that’s just his normal expression.

Wakezilla

If Steelers miss the field goal, should The Pauls take a knee and take the tie?

King Hippo

goddamnit Keenum

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Yes, let’s cut from the Cowboys 3rd and forever to show a Cardinals run inside their own 20.

Spur

you didnt miss much

blaxabbath

Can’t have big play potential if you’re not perpetually on your own half of the field!

blaxabbath

Know why David Johnson is a better fantasy pick up than L. Bell?

Johnson is playing football this season.

King Hippo

he’s also the same guy who was the best back in the league in 2016, who just saved a year of wear and tear on his lower body (ppl forget that)

/have him in BOTH leagues

Wakezilla

After that point, Steelers get the ball on their 45. Me thinks they get the field goal here….or Ben throws a pick 6

Senor Weaselo

*checks fantasy*
Come on Boswell FG! Preferably from many yards!

Gatoraids

Another Conner fumble trying to center it would be delicious

ThePirateSloth

WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

fleshwound_NPG

Factory of Sadness might produce a tie, which isn’t a win, but not a loss

Factory workers wasting precious production

blaxabbath

Well, the Factory IS a union shop.

Gatoraids

Shoulda just left gabbert in with an int like that titans

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

And now Cowboys inside their own half? Come the fuck on!

JustStopDude

The Browns Steeler game is going to end on a derp…

ArmedandHammered

Yep…

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

If I was paying for Redzone I’d ask for my money back. A game in overtime and they are showing the Dolphins on their own 20?

Sharkbait

Brought to you by Amazon Prime

Spur

Cowboys finally start.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

FOR FUCK’S SAKE REDZONE NOBODY CARES ABOUT THE REDSKINS GAME!

ArmedandHammered

The Stormfront watch party disagrees.

King Hippo

MAYBE not even Dok

blaxabbath

I was somewhat surprised to see they’re broadcadting it locally. I heard that cookware made of cooper had a new informercial coming out.

Wakezilla

NFL scores have The Paul’s/Steelers in OT1. Is there more than 1 OT now?

Gatoraids

They’ve gone to plaid

blaxabbath

Did THEPAULS game end?

Sharkbait

OT. Both teams have punted already.

Wakezilla

Getting close to a tie!

King Hippo

AGAIN, my NFL prayer is for a side with 3 draws this season. Week 1, window 1 would be a good first step.

fleshwound_NPG

THE BEN STUMBLE

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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blaxabbath

Alex Smith couldn’t check down that throw away quick enough.

JustStopDude

How the fuck was 42 points scored in this game?!?

blaxabbath

Every good (even past their prime) player just looks out of place in a Redskins uniform.

Spur

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blaxabbath

Takes a certain level of skill to get penalized for a shot against a defenseless receiver — and the hit didn’t even take the guy down.

Gatoraids

Yo gabbert gabbert time

blaxabbath

Where is he?

Gatoraids

Titans they still dressing mariotas hand

Spur

Kneel before your Texas Tech God!

blaxabbath

Good news! Fox C-team sideline reporter says Sam Bradford feels good and expects to stay healthy this season.

Does it count as lasting a whole series of WAS has the ball first?

LemonJello

Is Sam Bradford already in the concussion protocol?

Petronel

NFLN: “great news, Titans and Dolphins back in action”

Wakezilla

About to make the same comment

JustStopDude

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Sharkbait

Browns gonna Brown

Spur

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LemonJello

Was that bikini top made with Reed Richards’ ligaments?

Spur

Come on Cleveland. You can do this.

Sharkbait

I need a good day from Mahomes this afternoon. THANKS SAINTS DEFENSE!

Brocky

sees my first round pick Leonard fournette injured

urge to write fantasy gods….rising….

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