Your “More Games? The Sacrifice Worked!” Sunday Afternoon Football Open Thread

He looked quite unimposing as he stepped off the bus. I was sitting on a bench nearby and he asked me,  “where am I?” I said, “somewhere you probably don’t want to be’. “Story of my life. You got a smoke for an old man?” I gave him the last one I had. “Anything to do around here?”, he asked hopefully. “Nope”, I replied.

We ended up walking towards the park and I told him that I had a can of beans that I’d share with him if he was hungry. “You’re a good man. I hope to return the favor one day”, he drawled. We got a fire going just as the sun was going down. I poked a few holes in the can and set it near the fire to warm. “Hospitality like this doesn’t come round too often. You don’t have anything strange up your sleeve, do ya?” Feeling the pressure of the small knife in my back pocket I smiled and said, “not up my sleeve, no”. He laughed, “that’s a good one, right there”. He relaxed and laid his head on his bunched-up jacket. I told I had to take a leak and walked out of his line of vision to do my business.

“It sure does feel like things might… might be turning aroun… Gar! Phhh! Hunnggg!” I had pulled his head back, exposing his wrinkled, stubbly throat. The knife went easily. I worked it around a little. He struggled a bit but this wasn’t exactly my first ride. I held him tightly with my other arm then gradually relaxed as he came to the realization that the end was a cold, hard fact.

It was a bit cool, I noted to myself as I got into my car, changed out of the shabby clothes I was in and headed for home. With the chillier weather coming I guess I’ll have to find a place indoors for the new friends that I make. I took a long pull on my flask and yelled to no one at all, “TO THE GAMES!”

Chiefs/Chargers:

Joey Bosa is in a walking boot, people! The only question left as far as Dandy Andy’s pre-game ritual is concerned is: beef or chicken? Either way, “The Supping from the Gravy Boat” really brings the team together.

Hawks/Broncos:

Perfectly cromulent Case Keenum leads the Broncs into battle vs. them Seattle folks but methinks that the play of youngsters, Freeman, Sutton and Chubb will be a better indicator of success.

‘Dacteds/Cards:

Alex Smith? Sam Bradford? I’m so confused.

‘Boys/Panthers:

The fella that put the “ass” in Dallass, de Gregory, was flagged for a ‘substance-related relapse’ last month. My prediction-after he’s finally released by the Cowboys he’ll latch onto one more team and then be a distant memory in two year’s time.

 

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Spur

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King Hippo

SeaTruther timeout save Donks an offside penno

Spur

Am digging this Cowboys pass rush

King Hippo

Naughty RZ, Donks have a touched down as well, tis 7-7 with SeaTruthers. It’s ominous, but not desperate.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Teddy's Bridge Over Troubled Water

Afternoon gents, football’s back and so am I! (Hopefully for good this time!)
How’re we all doin’ today?

LemonJello

Odd Week Jaguras took Eli’s orange slices and juice box.

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Romonobyl

That reminds me, I’m out of Spray n’ Wash.

Wakezilla

Jesus. Who dat?

JustStopDude

Kaep.

Further proof the NFL needs to have their heads sued off for blocking him from the league.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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LemonJello

Need to have better wiener control than that.

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yeah right

Teddy!

1-0 and feeling fine!

Teddy's Bridge Over Troubled Water

Hail Captain Kirk!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

everytime RZ cuts to Denver, sommet shitty happen

Mr. Ayo

Wooooo!!!! HOX!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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yeah right

I just dipped a Popeyes biscuit into onion dip.
It did not suck.

Romonobyl

I’ll take onion dip over ranch any day, and in Texas you can do time for that claim.

King Hippo

I was gonna take Phillip Lindsay with my last auction $1 selection, but wasn’t really sure the Donks would use him. SIGH.

/Moose – do your gif worst, I deserve

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Senor Weaselo

That game deserved double overtime, but considering the rain I’m pretty sure continuing it was outlawed by The Hague.

Gratliff

Philip Rivers is gonna have a stroke on the field one day and it’ll be the perfect curtain call for the NFL

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Gatoraids

Still will father 5 More children

King Hippo

the Lord keeps providing seed, cockwallet!

LemonJello

“A stroke? None of that heathen depravity for me, ya godless cock-wallet!”

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Spur

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It only seems fitting that Cleveland breaks their losing streak with a tie.

ThePirateSloth

Well, at least I’m confident the Seahawks rookie punter is good.

So I got that going for me.

Sharkbait

All ties. All of the ties.

Gratliff

That is the Browns second non-loss since trading away the Carson Wentz pick

Doktor Zymm

TIE TIE TIE
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Mother Puncher

Browns in the playoff hunt

Mother Puncher

AFC North undefeated

King Hippo

should have been The Ben turnover #6. He’s gonna have sick tummy.

Sharkbait

Woooowwww.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Spur
Doktor Zymm

The Browns have been good enough in this game that I’m significantly more excited about going to CLE@OAK in a couple weeks, it might actually be a fun to watch game

Gratliff

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL

JustStopDude

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King Hippo

not like that was predictable or anything

Romonobyl

WHEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!

JustStopDude

If he misses…we riot.

Petronel

RIOT!

Senor Weaselo

Can we riot either way?

King Hippo

How bad is Tie-rod? They would rather a below-average kicker from 44 in the goddamned pouring rain than let him throw ONE TIME.

Mr. Ayo

Blocked punt return for a TD?

Gratliff

I want Cleveland’s progression this year to just be 0-0-16

King Hippo

/and they get the 2nd wildcard

Senor Weaselo

It’s a .500 season!

Gratliff

Super Bowl LII Hero Malcom Butler!

fleshwound_NPG

Browns flag may have fucked their chances at a FG, because Browns

Sharkbait

Oh Ben…

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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ArmedandHammered

Yep, they don’t need a dependable ground game at all. Ben can handle it all through the air.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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SWEET!!

blaxabbath

Not sure how USC vs Unranked Texas is supposed to be better than the Vince Young game.

Gatoraids

Derphins

Doktor Zymm

HAHA

yeah right

Early takes, Vikings D still beastly as fuck and the Niners play a solid game. They’ll be in some games.
Now if you’ll excuse me I’ve got some drankin’ to do.

WOOOOO!!!!

JustStopDude

This fucking game…

Mr. Ayo

HARF HARF HARF!

Gratliff

THE CLUSTEREST OF FUCKS

King Hippo

YES!!!!!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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woot!

LemonJello

Peterson hits the second level of a defense like a switch to a child’s scrotum.

King Hippo

one MOAR pick! PLEASe

Spur

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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LemonJello

Not gonna concealed carry, is she?

Spur

FUCK YES. Dallas gets a turnover.

blaxabbath

Per announcer: Cardinals daring Alex Smith to go deep.

No mention of ARI’s inability to tackle anyone until they’ve gained 15 yds.

Romonobyl

I still think Cooper Rush sounds like an edible for sale at a Tacoma dispensary.

King Hippo

HE LIVES!!!1111

Romonobyl

Yep, thought I’d check in. Been awhile.

King Hippo

DFO Seal Team Six had assembled and everything ,, smh

Senor Weaselo

This is gonna end with a blocked punt getting returned.