He looked quite unimposing as he stepped off the bus. I was sitting on a bench nearby and he asked me, “where am I?” I said, “somewhere you probably don’t want to be’. “Story of my life. You got a smoke for an old man?” I gave him the last one I had. “Anything to do around here?”, he asked hopefully. “Nope”, I replied.
We ended up walking towards the park and I told him that I had a can of beans that I’d share with him if he was hungry. “You’re a good man. I hope to return the favor one day”, he drawled. We got a fire going just as the sun was going down. I poked a few holes in the can and set it near the fire to warm. “Hospitality like this doesn’t come round too often. You don’t have anything strange up your sleeve, do ya?” Feeling the pressure of the small knife in my back pocket I smiled and said, “not up my sleeve, no”. He laughed, “that’s a good one, right there”. He relaxed and laid his head on his bunched-up jacket. I told I had to take a leak and walked out of his line of vision to do my business.
“It sure does feel like things might… might be turning aroun… Gar! Phhh! Hunnggg!” I had pulled his head back, exposing his wrinkled, stubbly throat. The knife went easily. I worked it around a little. He struggled a bit but this wasn’t exactly my first ride. I held him tightly with my other arm then gradually relaxed as he came to the realization that the end was a cold, hard fact.
It was a bit cool, I noted to myself as I got into my car, changed out of the shabby clothes I was in and headed for home. With the chillier weather coming I guess I’ll have to find a place indoors for the new friends that I make. I took a long pull on my flask and yelled to no one at all, “TO THE GAMES!”
Chiefs/Chargers:
Joey Bosa is in a walking boot, people! The only question left as far as Dandy Andy’s pre-game ritual is concerned is: beef or chicken? Either way, “The Supping from the Gravy Boat” really brings the team together.
Hawks/Broncos:
Perfectly cromulent Case Keenum leads the Broncs into battle vs. them Seattle folks but methinks that the play of youngsters, Freeman, Sutton and Chubb will be a better indicator of success.
‘Dacteds/Cards:
Alex Smith? Sam Bradford? I’m so confused.
‘Boys/Panthers:
The fella that put the “ass” in Dallass, de Gregory, was flagged for a ‘substance-related relapse’ last month. My prediction-after he’s finally released by the Cowboys he’ll latch onto one more team and then be a distant memory in two year’s time.
Type.
So let me get this straight – Chris Thompson has 10 more yards in LESS THAN HALF the touches, but it’s Purple (Balls) Jesus whose dick the teevee foofs all line up to suck.
Possibly because less was expected of him, but probably because tv personalities are annoying and dumb
Brilliant move cutting Bailey there Dallas…
McManus, down the gooch REDUX!
Few things I enjoy more than missed Cowboys FGs
Non-union replacement Dan Bailey is…meh
Watching Zeke struggle is pretty good too
lolboys
I am not against all the Hilldowns.
Let’s just call you 1-0
So tired. Night-night.
See you in a few hours for your hangover!
I hate drinky for 1p window for that very reason
That is proper Donks WOO!!!
You have the lead and last year’s rushing champion. Yes, don’t let Khunt bang it in, throw for an incompletion and stop the clock. ..
Hill with the touchdown.
Andy Reid’s third cute attempt is Great Success!
Boy, KC really doesn’t want any KHunt action, huh?
Stop trying to kill yourself Patrick!
Please let this game come down to a Janikowski attempt.
Clippers returnman, Jones, tries to dribble the ball (called the 3 and out), Chefs recover. 1st and goal Chefs on the 2
LOLSHITTYCLIPPERS
Let’s have a nice 8-minute back-breaker, Donks!
C’mon DAK!
Ummm, I bet either Chosen Rosen or the Giraffe is in next week.
So does taking the Steelers in the suicide league mean elimination?
They didn’t lose!
I’m going home in week one ain’t I?
Along with most of us.
I did see quite a few Saints picks so yeah.
YUP, they didn’t win, so OUT!
/I went Balmer to win, MRSA to lose in my money league, think I took Balmer in DFO too
I have to wait til Wednesday or something to see if picking the Titans screwed me harder than a working man by the GOP Congress he voted for.
wait, seriously?
Which part?
the Wednesday part (the other I gets, BELIEVE ME!)
/looks like trying to squeeze in tonight
I was yolking about that game never finishing. I have zero inside information about Florida weather.
that fan does NOT have proper guarding, definitely an OSHA violation
DAK DAK DAK needs to score some points
Don’t tell me Dak is your starting qb in fantasy…
….
I’m in a 2 QB league for that one.
whispers Wentz and Carr are who else I’ve got.
I’dve started Wentz and hoped for the best.
Anyone watch Jack Ryan on Amazon video yet? Damn good series, very bing-able.
Clippers with a touchdown (Allen). Time for the Chefs to go 3 and out next possession
Called it
I really am getting quite the Colonoscopy in DFO ball. Good thing – as usual – I’ve had pills.
/also goddamnit Roby
//really MOAR on the front 4
BUT TWO OF THE GOOD ONES WOULD HAVE BROKEN IT UP
Let’s get Professor Date Rape out to miss another FG
How about an XP attempt instead?
How about a NO SMIRE
4th quarter + Chefs going into prevent defense + Andy Reid time management= Chefs barely going to win 31-29
Well done Keenum!
The chicken farmer would like another word with Charmslinger anyway.
HOLY MERDE, Von Miller acting like he wants in the MVP conversation.
I think I’m upgrading my Redacteds projection to 2nd in the NFC East, both the Giants and the Cowkids look like poopy
Redacteds finish with a 7-9 record it is!
And still get a wildcard spot.
I hope Princeton Red recently updated his LinkedIn profile.
Hobbies; The Princeton Eating Club, Rowing Team Stroke, ………
Was that a fullback down?
Either way, the Clippers are about to get curb stomped.
A rookie is covering Tyreek Hill? Well, that explains a lot
a really, really old typewriter? modern offices have way more than that, this might not be a legit business
HIPSTER!
Mary Tyler Moore as Sam, the secretary on “Richard Diamond, Private Detective”.
Only her legs were ever shown.
Guess who?
The local news anchor forgot which teams were playing during the bumper before coming back
Dammit, they’re gonna play the second half after all.
did David Johnson die?
That is a common name, so yes, odds are one of them did.
What about John Smith?
we jus’ killin’ folk left and right!
Funny, usually when Big Ben ties up with the Browns he’s blocking the ladies bathroom at a Georgia bar.
Floaterception!
Foutes on the pick: “Rivers had too much time to throw the ball”
yes, because having time to throw the ball as a QB is bad.
Riversception!
#11 on KC better do something soon because that attempt of a tackle on the kick return is a cuttable offense if he isn’t any good.
ANY OFFENSIVE COORDINATOR WHO DOES NOT MAKE CALLS TO BENEFIT MY FANTASY TEAM IS AN IDIOT AND SHOULD BE FIRED!!
Why so cranky? We’re just people just like you.
Not cranky, not even riding my bike.
You were “ALL-CAPPING”-dead giveaway.
Just repeating…… things.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wahLIbwZTLQ
I guess I should have used quotation marks or something to make it even more clear about the sarcasm.
HEY! I always liked Musgrave, and after Manny got 7-115-1 in the first half, I sure as shit ain’t complaining!
In general…..
I noe, I just make with joke
Is that a plumbus?
LET’S OVER-REACT TO THE FIRST GAME OF THE SEASON AS IF NOTHING WILL CHANGE DURING THE COMING MONTHS WHETHER POSITIVE OR NEGATIVE!!
You know what they say, the first game of the season is an indicator of how the rest of the season will go.
/blergh
well…what ELSE do we have to overreact to, Mister Man!
Don’t mind him, he’s all-capping again.
Is the Chargers D even trying?
According to the announcers, the Chefs are really fast. So fast, nobody can ever catch them.
The Chefs look like they’re going to be a fun team this year. . . until Mahomes gets KTFO with one of those option plays.
why I bet them to win Superb Owl at like 30 (or maybe 35) to 1. Pretty unique squadron, pretty weak division.
That’s. . . not a bad pick if they can stay healthy (from the half I’ve seen)
If it has not yet been noted, Yahoo says I have a 91% chance of defeating teh Hippo this week.
I noticed. You are running train to the extent not even Leonard Cohen can save me tonite (and he’s gonna GO THE FUCK OFF)
/at least you can safely cheer for him now 😀
L’shanah tovah