Your “More Games? The Sacrifice Worked!” Sunday Afternoon Football Open Thread

He looked quite unimposing as he stepped off the bus. I was sitting on a bench nearby and he asked me,  “where am I?” I said, “somewhere you probably don’t want to be’. “Story of my life. You got a smoke for an old man?” I gave him the last one I had. “Anything to do around here?”, he asked hopefully. “Nope”, I replied.

We ended up walking towards the park and I told him that I had a can of beans that I’d share with him if he was hungry. “You’re a good man. I hope to return the favor one day”, he drawled. We got a fire going just as the sun was going down. I poked a few holes in the can and set it near the fire to warm. “Hospitality like this doesn’t come round too often. You don’t have anything strange up your sleeve, do ya?” Feeling the pressure of the small knife in my back pocket I smiled and said, “not up my sleeve, no”. He laughed, “that’s a good one, right there”. He relaxed and laid his head on his bunched-up jacket. I told I had to take a leak and walked out of his line of vision to do my business.

“It sure does feel like things might… might be turning aroun… Gar! Phhh! Hunnggg!” I had pulled his head back, exposing his wrinkled, stubbly throat. The knife went easily. I worked it around a little. He struggled a bit but this wasn’t exactly my first ride. I held him tightly with my other arm then gradually relaxed as he came to the realization that the end was a cold, hard fact.

It was a bit cool, I noted to myself as I got into my car, changed out of the shabby clothes I was in and headed for home. With the chillier weather coming I guess I’ll have to find a place indoors for the new friends that I make. I took a long pull on my flask and yelled to no one at all, “TO THE GAMES!”

Chiefs/Chargers:

Joey Bosa is in a walking boot, people! The only question left as far as Dandy Andy’s pre-game ritual is concerned is: beef or chicken? Either way, “The Supping from the Gravy Boat” really brings the team together.

Hawks/Broncos:

Perfectly cromulent Case Keenum leads the Broncs into battle vs. them Seattle folks but methinks that the play of youngsters, Freeman, Sutton and Chubb will be a better indicator of success.

‘Dacteds/Cards:

Alex Smith? Sam Bradford? I’m so confused.

‘Boys/Panthers:

The fella that put the “ass” in Dallass, de Gregory, was flagged for a ‘substance-related relapse’ last month. My prediction-after he’s finally released by the Cowboys he’ll latch onto one more team and then be a distant memory in two year’s time.

 

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King Hippo

So let me get this straight – Chris Thompson has 10 more yards in LESS THAN HALF the touches, but it’s Purple (Balls) Jesus whose dick the teevee foofs all line up to suck.

Doktor Zymm

Possibly because less was expected of him, but probably because tv personalities are annoying and dumb

Romonobyl

Brilliant move cutting Bailey there Dallas…

King Hippo

McManus, down the gooch REDUX!

Gratliff

Few things I enjoy more than missed Cowboys FGs

King Hippo

Non-union replacement Dan Bailey is…meh

Doktor Zymm

Watching Zeke struggle is pretty good too

fleshwound_NPG

lolboys

Senor Weaselo

I am not against all the Hilldowns.

King Hippo

Let’s just call you 1-0

BrettFavresColonoscopy

See you in a few hours for your hangover!

King Hippo

I hate drinky for 1p window for that very reason

King Hippo

That is proper Donks WOO!!!

Wakezilla

You have the lead and last year’s rushing champion. Yes, don’t let Khunt bang it in, throw for an incompletion and stop the clock. ..

Hill with the touchdown.

King Hippo

Andy Reid’s third cute attempt is Great Success!

King Hippo

Boy, KC really doesn’t want any KHunt action, huh?

Sharkbait

Stop trying to kill yourself Patrick!

Fronkenshteen

Please let this game come down to a Janikowski attempt.

Wakezilla

Clippers returnman, Jones, tries to dribble the ball (called the 3 and out), Chefs recover. 1st and goal Chefs on the 2

Doktor Zymm

LOLSHITTYCLIPPERS

King Hippo

Let’s have a nice 8-minute back-breaker, Donks!

Romonobyl

C’mon DAK!
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King Hippo

Ummm, I bet either Chosen Rosen or the Giraffe is in next week.

yeah right

So does taking the Steelers in the suicide league mean elimination?

They didn’t lose!
I’m going home in week one ain’t I?

Mr. Ayo

Along with most of us.

yeah right

I did see quite a few Saints picks so yeah.

King Hippo

YUP, they didn’t win, so OUT!

/I went Balmer to win, MRSA to lose in my money league, think I took Balmer in DFO too

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I have to wait til Wednesday or something to see if picking the Titans screwed me harder than a working man by the GOP Congress he voted for.

King Hippo

wait, seriously?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Which part?

King Hippo

the Wednesday part (the other I gets, BELIEVE ME!)

/looks like trying to squeeze in tonight

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I was yolking about that game never finishing. I have zero inside information about Florida weather.

fleshwound_NPG

that fan does NOT have proper guarding, definitely an OSHA violation

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

DAK DAK DAK needs to score some points

BrettFavresColonoscopy

….

I’m in a 2 QB league for that one.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

whispers Wentz and Carr are who else I’ve got.

Horatio Cornblower

I’dve started Wentz and hoped for the best.

Romonobyl

Anyone watch Jack Ryan on Amazon video yet? Damn good series, very bing-able.

Wakezilla

Clippers with a touchdown (Allen). Time for the Chefs to go 3 and out next possession

Wakezilla

Called it

King Hippo

I really am getting quite the Colonoscopy in DFO ball. Good thing – as usual – I’ve had pills.

/also goddamnit Roby

//really MOAR on the front 4

King Hippo

BUT TWO OF THE GOOD ONES WOULD HAVE BROKEN IT UP

King Hippo

Let’s get Professor Date Rape out to miss another FG

Mr. Ayo

How about an XP attempt instead?

King Hippo

How about a NO SMIRE

Wakezilla

4th quarter + Chefs going into prevent defense + Andy Reid time management= Chefs barely going to win 31-29

Mr. Ayo

Well done Keenum!

King Hippo

The chicken farmer would like another word with Charmslinger anyway.

King Hippo

HOLY MERDE, Von Miller acting like he wants in the MVP conversation.

Doktor Zymm

I think I’m upgrading my Redacteds projection to 2nd in the NFC East, both the Giants and the Cowkids look like poopy

Wakezilla

Redacteds finish with a 7-9 record it is!

Romonobyl

And still get a wildcard spot.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Romonobyl

I hope Princeton Red recently updated his LinkedIn profile.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Hobbies; The Princeton Eating Club, Rowing Team Stroke, ………

Wakezilla

Was that a fullback down?

Either way, the Clippers are about to get curb stomped.

Wakezilla

A rookie is covering Tyreek Hill? Well, that explains a lot

fleshwound_NPG

a really, really old typewriter? modern offices have way more than that, this might not be a legit business

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

HIPSTER!

Petronel

Mary Tyler Moore as Sam, the secretary on “Richard Diamond, Private Detective”.

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Only her legs were ever shown.

King Hippo

Guess who?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Sharkbait

The local news anchor forgot which teams were playing during the bumper before coming back

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Romonobyl

Dammit, they’re gonna play the second half after all.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

did David Johnson die?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That is a common name, so yes, odds are one of them did.

Romonobyl

What about John Smith?

King Hippo

we jus’ killin’ folk left and right!

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Funny, usually when Big Ben ties up with the Browns he’s blocking the ladies bathroom at a Georgia bar.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Wakezilla

Floaterception!

Foutes on the pick: “Rivers had too much time to throw the ball”

yes, because having time to throw the ball as a QB is bad.

Sharkbait

Riversception!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Wakezilla

#11 on KC better do something soon because that attempt of a tackle on the kick return is a cuttable offense if he isn’t any good.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

ANY OFFENSIVE COORDINATOR WHO DOES NOT MAKE CALLS TO BENEFIT MY FANTASY TEAM IS AN IDIOT AND SHOULD BE FIRED!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Not cranky, not even riding my bike.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Just repeating…… things.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I guess I should have used quotation marks or something to make it even more clear about the sarcasm.

King Hippo

HEY! I always liked Musgrave, and after Manny got 7-115-1 in the first half, I sure as shit ain’t complaining!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

In general…..

King Hippo

I noe, I just make with joke

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Is that a plumbus?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

LET’S OVER-REACT TO THE FIRST GAME OF THE SEASON AS IF NOTHING WILL CHANGE DURING THE COMING MONTHS WHETHER POSITIVE OR NEGATIVE!!

Wakezilla

You know what they say, the first game of the season is an indicator of how the rest of the season will go.

/blergh

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

well…what ELSE do we have to overreact to, Mister Man!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Doktor Zymm

Is the Chargers D even trying?

Wakezilla

According to the announcers, the Chefs are really fast. So fast, nobody can ever catch them.

Wakezilla

The Chefs look like they’re going to be a fun team this year. . . until Mahomes gets KTFO with one of those option plays.

King Hippo

why I bet them to win Superb Owl at like 30 (or maybe 35) to 1. Pretty unique squadron, pretty weak division.

Wakezilla

That’s. . . not a bad pick if they can stay healthy (from the half I’ve seen)

BrettFavresColonoscopy

If it has not yet been noted, Yahoo says I have a 91% chance of defeating teh Hippo this week.

King Hippo

I noticed. You are running train to the extent not even Leonard Cohen can save me tonite (and he’s gonna GO THE FUCK OFF)

/at least you can safely cheer for him now 😀

BrettFavresColonoscopy

L’shanah tovah

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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