We’re into Matchday 5 of the English Premier League, 4 for La Liga. However, a premium channel tier dispute between DirecTV and beIn Sports has taken La Liga broadcasts off my TV. Since beIn is from the Al Jazeera group, I’ll irresponsibly declare that this smells like protectionist crap. But you never know what lurks behind disputes between giant telecom corps. Behind the first two layers of greed, I mean.
Here are the games in Spain, for those resolute enough to find a stream.
La Liga – All times Central
Atlético Madrid vs. Eibar – 6:00 AM
Being up this early should involve a beach or intimacy. It’s a Saturday dammit!
Real Sociedad vs. Barcelona – 9:15 AM
Today Messi is back from a 14-day break, after skipping the Argentina friendlies during last week’s international break. All he’s done in the first three games is score four goals and have two assists. Barcelona hosts a Champions League game on Tuesday against PSV Eindhoven, which bodes well for substitutions drama.
Valencia vs Real Betis – 11:30 AM
I don’t mind much being blacked out from this game. Instead, I’ll tell you how to pass the time during a blackout. Since there’s little to do, keep things lively by picking at old emotional scars.
Athletic Bilbao vs Fucken Real Madrid
Bale and Benzema have scored seven goals with one assist in their first three games. Meanwhile in Italy,
Via depor.com / postimages.org
In yet another instance of woeful underuse of Backpack in a scene. For shame.
EPL – All times Central
Tottenham Hotspur vs Liverpool – 6:30 AM NBC Sports
This will be a dynamite game. On the other hand,
Man City vs Fulham – 9:00 AM NBC Sports
Fulham’s scored six goals in its last two games. Man City should not score more than three, by halftime.
The rest of the 9:00 AM window:
Bournemouth vs Leicester City
The Cherries are sixth on the table right now, and have scored 1.75 goals per game. Lester is in full midtable form, being beat by Chelsea and Liverpoool, and defeating Soton and Wolves. Cromulence ahoy!
Newcastle vs Arsenal
Two teams supposed to be good, both are capable of even worse.
Chelski vs Cardiff City
Chelsea has been world beaters since the addition of new manager Maurizio Sarri and Rasputin soup to the dining room’s menu.
Via @RealSardonicus + postimages.com
Huddersfield vs Crystal Palace
The Huds have two goals in four games and relegation written all over. This game is the packing peanuts for the paid channel package.
Watord vs ManUre – 1230 AM NBC
Watford defeated Spurs in their last game and are a perfect 12 out of 12 points on the year–with a very respectable +6 in goal difference. Jose Mourinho has been the top whiner this season. I already bought his going away cake:
I’ll give Ioway State a gander. Anything else grabbing your fancy game-wise?
OK, soooooo….
Just got a phone call. Apparently my nephew-in-law smacked my niece last night, and told her to make his fucking tacos because it was her job. She and her kids are now staying at her twin sister’s (my other niece) and are safe.
But now, I have to go kill him…..errrrr talk to him. Probably not kill him. No promises.
Ya know, lots of people wind up missing or dead during a hurricane. Jes sayin…
He needs a good smacking.
They can’t charge you for murder if there’s no body. . . . and I’ve heard big, mean and starving dogs will eat anything.
Just saying. . .
You haveta admire his passion for tacos tho.
Tell him that any man who hits a woman is not a man.
I’d rather just punch him.
But I won’t. Probably.
A small part of me wants to watch Kansas vs Rutgers
wow, you hate yourself even by Commentist standards, huh?
Cripple Fight!
Now it is raining again. The theme from last night was wet pussy, right?
/we also would have accepted “if Hippo knew how to keep pussy happy for longer than 3 minutes, he prolly would have been on at least ONE date in the last 4 years”
If it makes you feel any better, here’s Nicki Minaj on Drake: “Drake worth a hundred milli, always buying me shit, But I don’t know if the pussy wet or if he’s crying and shit”
Hawaii has 33% more wins than any other team in the nation but they don’t get no respect, no respect at all.
ppl forget Iowa St. is the hardest place to play in all the land.
I feel bad for the schoolchildren there.
CYCLONES!
Hippo, tune to channel 11. This haggard little weather chick actually had nice shoulders.
But you might wanna bring two bags. You know, in case her’s fall off.
It ain’t even raining in Raleigh no MOAR. My cat is so relieved to go outside and take a shit.
LMFAO
Big12(-2) tied-for-first-er Kansas leading Big10(+4) 7th placer Rutgers with defensive touchdowns!?
At least I can do my laundry during these shitty morning games.
Ha! Just got done folding.
/ “Ha!” meaning “we’re doing the same thing!” Not “I’m already FINISHED!”
I am streaming both #BFIB and Moose Hornets. YOU DISAPPOINT, JV NFL.
/3:30 window is good, tho
Jeebus, local affiliates all wanna tell me it’s raining, which I already know. So I guess Imma go to the ESPNs and I guess Imma watch Clemson.
Someone please come kill me.
The mighty Clem-zon offense held scoreless after one quarter!?
they worried all the Flo rain might ruin they favourite colouring books in the school library ,, smh
Jeebus is pissed off at Dabo.
Instead of some extra third rate coleege footedball, I’m getting something called “Kids Team News” on one of my local channels.
Pervert.
OF COURSE, local NBC is wall-to-goddamned-wall weather coverage, thank fuck they no longer are the CBS affiliate and I will at least (hopefully) be able to see LSU/Aubie
Like I just said.
Alright, I’m trynna to watch college football, and locals are cutting in and telling me it’s raining because there’s a hurricane.
No fucking shit, get off mah damn teevee box.
Went to my wife’s ultrasound appointment yesterday. Got a good look look at the little meat frog. He’s doing great. Little heart thundering away. All the parts and pieces are fully formed and growing rapidly. He looks just like his big brother, too. She’s feeling great, too, apart from her first pregnancy hemorrhoid (GAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!) Hats off to the women. Pregnancy sounds like an awful, awful albatross.
Mabrook!
Mighty Maryland losing to Temple early!?
Fuck those assholes. College Park should all die slowly and painfully in a fire.
Sorry. But seriously, fuck those assholes.
Have you ever thought about a career in directing?
I actually have. But I prefer writing. I got some good damned movie scripts.
You know anybody?
SOUNDS LIKE SOMEBODY NEEDS TO RUN MORE GASSERS!!!!!
#PussyBitches
This is psychotic behavioUr. I may have to report you.
Kent State has so far been able to reject the Penn State advances.
“Don’t worry. We’ll keep hammering away!”
– J. Sandusky
They’ll hold strong until the Pedos start using the shotgun. Then it’ll be over in 13 seconds
Kent State always folds under fire.
So, what are we watching? Florida State Semen v Trump’s Skin, Bournemouth/Leicester or Hurricanes v Holy Toledo?
I’m no fan of da U. But dayum!!!!!!
MOOSE HORNETS!!
We couldn’t do without La Liga, so we got Sling TV’s Latino package. $10 a month and we get BeIn both English and Spanish, and a bunch of other channels with the traditional Latino boobies and butts.
That’s a good investment.
Is there a Morrissey channel?
His mirror
Lets go Cyclones!….not the ones in the ocean.
So ECU cancelled today @ VPI. If they can’t reschedule, is that a forfeit?
I think it’s just one game less for each team.
Yep.
Morning Folks.
I was considering ML’ing Iowa State for a couple bills. Then I got sane again.
At +800, it was tempting.
A fool and his money….
DON’T YOU TALK ABOUT HIPPO THAT WAY!!!!!!!
I am way the fuck worse than that
/Stormin’ Mormon ML? That’s how one puts one’s balls on the Thanksgiving dinner table.
Dude…no, no, no.
Just no.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yf_Lwe6p-Cg
What 12:00 game we watching?
Personally, I’m hoping Ga Southern can find a way to down Clemson.
/will be totes disappoint
Maryland – Temple might be the most competitive. Or Miami (Fl) at Toledo. because it’s hilarious.
A home game for Toledo! Live from the Glass Bowl.
http://fc00.deviantart.net/fs43/f/2009/061/5/a/Rasta_Glass_Pipe_by_glasscoast.jpg
Like I always say, “let those in the Glass Bowl throw the first glass stones.”
Hehehehe….this oughta piss all of you off.
Suck it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I_izvAbhExY
This is actually a pretty good song.
Relatively speaking, of course.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5wRM-t7wvF0
When did weather reporting become sports reporting?
all I know is, in the flood zones…teh Weather Channel sends out they blacks. So it must be TOTES dangerous!
There’s a really hot white chick in New Bern. But she’s a pain in the ass and I’d probably shoot her inside of an hour.
Ya know, after the hate bang.
My apologies, that was a joke.
I totally wouldn’t hate bang her or shoot her.
As far as you know.
Yeah maim then fuck. Got it
I don’t know but I’ve seen this one meteorologist who can’t stop smiling while covering the hurricane. So she’s in the tank for weather and obviously hopes they take it to humanity this weekend.
Up the Cherries, eh? Lester is a pale shadow of they formerly foxy selves.
Four fucking goals in a game?
That NEVER happens.
It’s turning into a magical goddamn year!
I know it’s cool to celebrate Mourinho to get fired, but, United won’t be good until Ed Woodward gets his ass punted.
They can bring in any coach they want, it won’t mean shit as long as Woodward is there.
it can be two things!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dDLiVwpv89s
Radio Raheem!
programming note – the JV NFL thread will nae go live until 3 EST/2 DFO because the Noon window is liquid shit. I have made all the Jim Brown Syracuse lacrosse player jokes in my arsenal. Just watch the Moose Hornets kill off Mourinho, ok?
/boos quietly
//remembers NC State managed to not take a humiliating home loss today and is still undefeated
hey, offside flag pulls the 3rd back, your totes in this!!
I slept through Spurs predictably letting me down. THANK FUCK.
ME TOO!!!!!
– Dennis Rodman
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=30pt2XUJKGQ
Hey, at least I remembered to bring my weed plants inside this time!!!!
97 seconds? Slow start for Man City.
Sigh. Here we go.
Ugggh. This could get ugly
Is it “Grannies With Canes Day” again in the U.K.? A year goes by so darn fast…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wplUBFVsbtw
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SiZVrTaC9Pg
There’s a Lenny Kravitz song I really want to post.
But RTD would stab me repeatedly.
Girl you know it’s true
Meh screw it….
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EvuL5jyCHOw
go chelsea
Klopp seems to treat each of his players like beloved sons. It’s nice to see.
Holy shit, electricity is back on again.
I need to invest in a generator.
Why in hell did Spurs wait till the 73rd minute to bring on Son?
[checks soccer to english dictionary]
Yes… yes they should have brought him on
[checks dictionary again]
Son-er.
I am ready for the shit kicking! Bring it on. I waited 4 years for the right to get beaten down by the likes of Citeh!
The best part about the looming Roger Stone indictment is that he’ll have no opportunity for a plea bargain, and will finally be ripped from American society like a rotten tooth. He deserves to be beaten to death in prison with a shiv left sticking out of his Nixon tattoo.
Oh, right. Sports. Uh…,go west ham.
There are a LOT of individuals who — and I say this pragmatically only — must be hung on the National Mall. And I’m talking, we need to overshoot this and hang TOO MANY people because this is a time to err on the side of seizing too much wealth (which is power) and burning some wheat to make sure we get ALL the chaff.
We’re in PR, right? Seems like the official noose maker of these hangings should come from PR. Maybe we should look at this blossoming market. What size is Trump, an Andy Reid Medium?
At the moment, yes, but with all the stress eating he’ll be doing now that Manafort flipped he’ll be up to a Large in no time.