JV NFL – Week 4 Doldrums

Every September, there is a weekly slate of games that is just refried ass.  Welcome to said Saturday.

Georgia at Missouri (Noon, ESPN)

Both of these teams are undefeated, but only one is any good, and maybe not even one (thus the slight opportunity for a trap game).

Notre Dame at Wake Forest (Noon, ABC)

The Irish’ tour of various Sisters of the Poor continues in Winston-Salem this week.  Another unimpressive win by less than a TD?  Probably.

Texas A&M at Alabama (3:30, CBS)

Those glasses that Jimbo wears to make himself look less stupid?  Ain’t gonna help today.  CBS finally abandons UT/FL in its traditional slot, and it’s for this flaming bag of shit.

Clemson at Georgia Tech (3:30, ABC)

Hey looky-loo, a legitimate trap game!  The Bees have been bad, but they can score (in a way your dead great grandpappy would approve of, except for all the blacks), and Son of Clem has a tendency to get flustered down Atlanta way.  As always, I will be hoping that Dabo! dies.

South Cakalaky at Vanderbilt (4:00, SECN)

When in doubt, watch Vandy for the yuk-yuks.  Today is that kind of day.

TCU at Texas (4:30, Fox)

Perhaps the only fixture of the day that I am legitimately looking forward to.  Will Bloodeyes be all emotionally let down after shitting themselves against tOSU?  Or will they be out for steer blood?  Let’s hope for the latter, but I very much fear the former.

Mississippi State at Kentucky (7:00, ESPN2)

This’un is fairly interesting, too, with Kenfucky returning home heroes after breaking a 31 (or was it 32?) game losing streak in the series – dating back to Tim Fucking Couch – in Gainesville.  Note to Big Blue – don’t be all reveling, because Cowbells are most definitely NAWT a perpetually overrated SEC East side.

Texas Tech at Oklahoma State (7:00, FS1)

You want points?  Weird fetishes?  Oh, does Guns Up!! and the BDSM State locals have a treat in store for y’all.

Stanford at Oregon (8:00, ABC)

Seriously, this is where the GameDay crew went.  Does anybody really goddamned care about this?  Is Oh-ray-GAWNE even ranked?  /looks it up, they’s #20

Arizona State at Washington (10:30, ESPN)

Yet again, your tweaker fixture involves Herm Edwards.  Draw your own conclusions.  Also, 17.5 is WAY too big a spread here, as U-Dub isn’t much account neither, especially on offense.

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King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
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Redshirt

..but…the kickoff hit the ground. You can’t fair catch a ball you got on the rebound!

WCS

I wouldn’t be surprised at all if Les Miles does put beer on his lawn.

Redshirt

Okay, I know its the Alumni Band but that doesn’t mean you need to drop the beat down to 60 beats per minute, what do you have? An 100 years old in the formation to dot the I?

Oh, they do have an 100 year old in formation who did dot the I. Nevermind.

Redshirt

Old Man Tiger is either setting up a triumphant victory or an epic collapse.

WCS

Saving the latter for the Ryder Cup.

herodotus450

Maybe it’s just my cold island heart melting, but the announcers today across a few games have actually been better than terrible. Humorous and insightful even.

ballsofsteelandfury

Once we get younger announcers, the quality will improve.

herodotus450

Or maybe we are the old farts now…
/Twilight Zone music plays

theeWeeBabySeamus

Just got home from the store.

I see the Manhattan Ded Snyders really are dead.

WCS

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Alright, I’m going to try this apple pan place. Wish me luck.

herodotus450

Pans made of apples? Could work,

litre_cola

For what?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Burger and non-litre sized soda

ballsofsteelandfury

Don’t forget the pie!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Which kind is best?

ballsofsteelandfury

Well, they’re famous for the apple, but i’m partial to banana cream.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hehehehe….figures you’d like a cream pie.
😛

ballsofsteelandfury

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

I think I may have to skip the pie until lady BFC gets back into town.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Holy shit, that only made my comment funnier!!!!!!!!!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Intentional

litre_cola

That is some good spelling right there.

ballsofsteelandfury

You won’t need luck. It’s good stuff.

WCS

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Spur

TCU Vs Texas should be good. TCU can go to hell for fucking up last week.

Wakezilla

Working as an English tutor at a community college has more upside than downside. Today definitely had a lot of downside.

I saw one student, who two days ago, I told her that her thesis was completely wrong because she didn’t answer the question provided. Not believing me, she emailed her teacher for feedback and was told the same thing. So she comes back to me again, asking what’s wrong with her paper, and I break down how it is wrong. Instead of thanking me, she fucking argues with me on how the thesis is correct, despite me and her teacher telling her she didn’t answer the fucking question!

Then, this other guy walks in and tells me that he got a zero on his first essay and asked what he did wrong. After a quick glance, I told him he didn’t do proper citation, he wrote his essay in point form and it was written in broken English. He wasn’t accepting this answer and it was me and his teacher that must be wrong. So then he showed me the assignment he was working on. He was making up his own facts and couldn’t understand that he had to do research for his essay. He couldn’t understand and got mad why he couldn’t just make up statistics for his research essay.

I need booze when I get home.

herodotus450

He couldn’t understand and got mad why he couldn’t just make up statistics for his research essay.

At least he’s got a good start on his career in politics.

Redshirt

On the girl’s essay: its okay if you challenge the thesis or teacher’s viewpoint, but you can’t completely ignore it. e.g. Teacher: The sky is blue. Student: The sky isn’t blue and here are my reasons to explain my viewpoint. NOT Teacher: The sky is blue. Student: The water is grey.

On the guy’s “essay”: it sounds like he doesn’t know how to write an essay. The same thing happened to me on my first book report. I got a 14% on it and the teacher was kind enough to call my dad at the end of the Indianapolis 500 to share my grade. Of course, she called my dad because I was in 4th Grade at the time. How in the hell can you get into Community College and don’t know how to write an essay? Moreover, how in the hell can you get a High School Diploma or G.E.D. and not know how to write an essay? Is “essay” an American-only thing or something?

ballsofsteelandfury

You’d be surprised how shitty our educational system really is.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Or not surprised if you interact with randos.

litre_cola

Hell no, I wrote a shit tonne in high school and in uni. These folks obviously do not listen nor do they want to listen to Wakezilla.

blaxabbath

Best class I ever took was junior year writing lab. Every week was a five-paragraph essay assignment. The content mattered little as the focus was structure, grammar, and coherent thoughts. Blew me away when I got into peer edit groups in college English and people were not even structuring their writing correctly. Had a buddy who was a writer and he broke it down simply — tell em what you’re gonna tell em; tell it to em; tell em what you just told em.

It’s like math — if you don’t have the fundamentals down, you’re severely limited in what you will be able to communicate because you don’t actually understand what it is that you are doing.

litre_cola

So no one else is watching Zona OSU?

ballsofsteelandfury

I’m watching the Psych marathon on Hallmark Mysteries and Movies

Spur

Satan takes no joy in his work comment image

Wakezilla

It looks like he is doing a Samoan style QB sack dance

Redshirt

Ah, family, they’re annoying but you gotta love them. You know the saying: can’t live with them; when they strap me to the chair, please let them know the murders were just.

Wakezilla

If you’re a sociable guy, you could create your own family. Blood relationships are over-rated. You can pick your family

Redshirt

Oh great! I’m screwed!

Fronkenshteen

Yo hippo! Re: Your Baltimore pick tomorrow, would you advise starting John Brown or Alex Collins?

Fronkenshteen

Aye aye!

herodotus450

West Virgina playing a 3-4 defense?

Spur

Aggies answer. Satan is not pleased but he secretly enjoys the challenge.

litre_cola

Wolfpack odds are OK Hippo.

Redshirt

Why does Tulane helmet wave has an angry face and fists?

WCS

They accidentally bought Notre Dame logos that were meant to go to Nigeria.

Spur

Poseidon is an Angry Drunk. The “Green Wave” is symbolizes the drunk vomit.

WCS

Toledo 63 Nevada 44

Basketball season starts earlier every season.

Spur

Spurs play in two weeks. We can live-blog it!

WCS

GRIERBOMB

herodotus450

Georgia Tech with the series of the year right there: fumble out of bounds for loss on first down; sack on second down; fumble returned for touchdown on third down.

WCS

Someone get Dan Orlovsky to Tuscaloosa stat. We’ve got a very safety dance scenario.

litre_cola

I can’t help but look at the Aggies helmets and think Ass to Mouth

WCS

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Spur
Wakezilla

Same

WCS

Guh. Another K-State turnover fest.

herodotus450

Cincy not out of trouble yet it seems, they might pull an Orlovsky soon. He’s showing up everywhere!

Redshirt

We might be getting an Intentional Safety Dance in Cincy.

herodotus450

Tulane (apparently it’s Tulane and not Tulsa) checking to see if 7-0 counts as a mercy rule game.

Redshirt

The check cleared. They know what they were getting into.

Spur

Gumbo is expensive.

Spur

Satan likes what he sees so far………….And me, I took the over comment image

litre_cola

North Dakota by 6.5 over the Idaho State Bengals? Sounds good to me!

Redshirt

Commentators: “Your up by four but maybe you want to give up the touchdown so you have time left.”

Or, now hear me out here: You stop them.

Redshirt

Like that. Maybe…BLEERGH is being summoned to Clifton.

Spur

Pineapple Bomb!

Spur

Dumb Aggie.

Redshirt

Okay, Ohio State is starting, let’s see how Cincinnati is doing. (changes channel) AH! Cincinnati really doesn’t want to win this game.

WCS
Spur

Am picking KState to fucking over WVU

litre_cola

Had a nap, woke up and won both my bets. GIMME MAH MONEYS BET365!!!

Redshirt

Matt Millan?! Aw, but Ohio State already served their penalty!

Spur

Jumbo Fisher scares me. Something about him is off.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Oh, he’s a fucking nutjob to be sure.

WCS

PROTIP: Both Nick Satan and Jumbo are West Virginia natives

The jokes write themselves.

WCS

Chuck Yeager would like a word…

Spur

Chuck Yeager got talked in to getting strapped to a missile.

herodotus450

Cincinatti coach Adam Sandler Luke Fickell not happy with that play.

Redshirt

Ref: “Unsportsmanlike Conduct. Offense #3. Showing spontaneous emotion and doing a Cam Newton celebration. In a rare double-whammy ruling, aiming for the head of the QB is no legal again.”

WCS

LET’S GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MOUNTAINEERS
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Spur

Hail Satan!