Your “And Then There Were Just Three” Late NFL Games Open Thread

After the ten game ‘splosion of earlier today we have but three ‘options’ (depending on where you are living) this afternoon. I’m not a fan of this illusion of choice. (h/t, George Carlin) TO THE GAMES!

Chargers/Rammers:

The Battle of Los Angeles (or The Great Los Angeles Air Raid) was started by a very provocative (wait for it) weather balloon that had ill intentions towards the denizens of the heretofore mentioned city. It might have been aliens. Thank gawd there were some trigger-happy artillery folks that told that alien balloon that ‘these colors don’t run’. Perhaps history can repeat itself in this here encounter by qb’s Goff and Rivers throwing all kinds of projectiles at opposing defenses. Yeah, I need wr Cook to put up some points-what of it?

Bears/Cards:

Which Khalil Mack will show up for this game? Is it going to be the unblockable maniac that collapses pockets at will? Or will it be the unholy terror that single-handedly changes the Cards offensive game plan? Which Truth Biscuit will decide to play? The one that under/over-throws his open wr’s? Or will it be the fella that misreads the D on a regular basis?

Cowboys/Seahawks:

This here is the “Stop laughing-We’re Still Relevant, Dammit!” Bowl which is sponsored by the good folks at Blackberry and Kodak. DAK! had a temporary reprieve from the boo-birds courtesy of a porous Giants D last week. Will a headed-south-in-the-standings Seattle team stand up and be counted?

Let’s do that thing that we like to do. Ewwww, not that!

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Spur

Pete Carroll is going to pass the ball here. Do it Pete.

...

Getting my pierogi fix. Mmm…

Spur

Cowboys death status upgraded to walking dead.

King Hippo

So, Chosen Rosen comes in, leads a late drive but Birdcano misses the FG and loses 16-14?

Gratliff

Don’t you dare call that a Dak TD

Spur

Little known fact, Rico Gathers used to play basketball.

theeWeeBabySeamus

So did Hank Gathers. He doesn’t anymore.

King Hippo

I am following a Sudamericano Lesser Footy match that is now 10 v. 8 in added time. My side ($23 at +1175) just took the lead on a penno.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Doktor Zymm

Eh, that’s cheating at limbo

theeWeeBabySeamus

Imma have to disagree.
She’s doing just fine.

Doktor Zymm

And I guess you call standing on an escalator ‘walking up stairs’ too. Forward motion is half the challenge of limbo

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hehehehe.

I find her motion, even if artificial, to be just fine.

Doktor Zymm

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theeWeeBabySeamus

YOU SAID THERE WAS NO FILM IN THAT CAMERA!!!!!!

Doktor Zymm

Very few cameras require film nowadays 😀

fleshwound_NPG

LOL BRADFORD

I hope Seattle can hold Dallas to under 10 points.

Astute observation Ian

theeWeeBabySeamus

I officially love my Instant Pot. I just made a 1.5 gallons of crab soup in 45 minutes (including preheat cycle). Usually that would require 5-7 hours, and multiple times adding water.

And even a dummy like me managed to use it without blowing the house up.

Yay.

King Hippo

LOLZeke

Gratliff

looooool

fleshwound_NPG

Alex Smith, yo crown is in danger

https://twitter.com/wingoz/status/1043988053675692033

King Hippo

What does it matter? He was short if he ain’t fumble.

Boltman is sad.

King Hippo

4th and 5, they throw SHORT! Of course they do.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CTAud5O7Qqk

fleshwound_NPG

People just don’t know, the Cardinals have been a shitty franchise for a long, long, LONG time.

1920, man.

blaxabbath

Damn. Saw the roof was closed on TV and thought, “but it’s actually nice out today. Why didn’t they open it for the Bears game?”

Checked my phone and it’s 103. This is the best time of the year.

King Hippo

Another FG here, and the Shitty CLippers are within 9. Right on the verge of covering!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

FGkakke in Arizona!

fleshwound_NPG

Bradford vs. Biscuit, whaddya expect?

Redshirt

Ah, X-Men: Apocalypse. The actors tried their best, but you can’t overcome bad writing and plotholes big enough to drive a aircraft carrier through.

Spur

Can the Cowboys play the Giants every other week?

blaxabbath

– NBC Braintrust

BrettFavresColonoscopy

What the hell hurts Miller there? Wrist? Shoulder? Hip?

blaxabbath

Stroke

Doktor Zymm

I’m pretty sure the Cowboys D couldn’t even stop a stationary object

herodotus450

Could be harder than it seems if they’re in the wrong frame of reference.
/My go to excuse

King Hippo

Nice Truth Biscuit fade to 2 AZ defenders, just a bit long, though.

blaxabbath

The Browns uniforms even look better when they’re not-losing-or-tying.

King Hippo

One bets Chi**** is gonna run. Like, every down.

blaxabbath

Honestly, I think Wilks could have been a good HC. Too bad his idiot ass signed with ARI.

blaxabbath

Sam BADford.

Banner

Because there is no other way in the world his career will ever get near another one.

Spur

Sean Lee hurt?

King Hippo

There is NO WAY Chosen Rosen wouldn’t be an instant improvement.

blaxabbath

– Joe Arpaio, messing with an off-brand instant-light log.

fleshwound_NPG

LOLBRADFORD

blaxabbath

Seriously? Khalil Mack is a beast. He is not responsible for false starts on the opposite end of the line.

Fox fucking C Team.

King Hippo

Shitty Clippers really using a lot of clock on this drive. SMRT!

King Hippo

that field goal drive

Mr. Ayo

Why kick down 15? WTF!

King Hippo

Inside the 10, too. Someone does nae understand math/basic leverage concepts. I hope RRRRRRRRRRRRAM IT!! keeps throwing, Hippo need Baby Buster and Gurley Man points.

Spur

A+ awareness by Tavon Austin

herodotus450

Someday this Maher guy is going to miss a field goal left, then it’s going to be prime yucks time.

blaxabbath

Chantix commercial would be way funnier if Ray was on a set of some mob movie standing in front of a naked chick with her head blown off and him joking with a couple other guidos.

blaxabbath

Pretty sure I ever heard of Jordan Howard in JV.

King Hippo

He played at Indiana, no reason for one to have done so.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Again, I haven’t seen staring like that since I was 13 and girls started to develop

theeWeeBabySeamus

OK, this made me giggle.

King Hippo

Christ. Truth Biscuit is like Tebow out there with his “progressions.”

blaxabbath

I feel like Nagy knows Mitchy is a Rex so the only way to a SB win is to absolutely stack the shit out of that defense.

...

I look forward to shitting the bed against the Colts once again

fleshwound_NPG

bears are using that inside pitch play too much to the point it’s predictable in short yardage

fat man int is possible the next time they run it

blaxabbath

I’d screen opposite of Peterson every sixth snap.

blaxabbath

Is Watson actually good? And why is HOU always so bad?

Doktor Zymm

Cause they Whoston?

King Hippo

came back pretty quick from that knee owie

Spur

Cause Bill O’Brien

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Go for it, you pussies

theeWeeBabySeamus

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blaxabbath

I’m only watching the rest of this game because, if ARI is going to go 0-16 this year, they’ve gotta pull out blowing games like this.

Brick Meathook

Holy shit they totally shot thrift store guy. Right in the back of the head *POW* he’s face first in his baked ziti. That was awesome.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Good secret club meeting?

Brick Meathook

The best.

So how many more prime time or 430 games does Dallas have this year? As much as I dislike them, I’d like to be spared their shittiness

Mr. Ayo

4 more prime time games. 4 more afternoon games. Enjoy!

Doktor Zymm

Watch on mute, play the soundtrack to Wile E Coyote cartoons instead

theeWeeBabySeamus
blaxabbath

3 yrs. ARI has shown zero interest in getting a competent CB2 across from PP.

King Hippo

This is really not surprising to anyone who has paid attention at all, but the Pokes are goddamned awful.

blaxabbath

Is their oline still outstanding?

Mr. Ayo

They are out there standing certainly.

Doktor Zymm

Something doesn’t have to be surprising to be delightful!