Your Lazy, Hazy Sunday Afternoon NFL Football Open Thread

Let’s get right down to business, shall we? TO THE GAMES!

Cle/Oak:

Browns fans: “Wouldn’t it be great if we could pull off two wins in a row.”

Browns 37 Missed Tackles: “I’m not sure we can do that fellas. The odds aren’t that good.”

Raiders League-low 3 Sacks: “I think if this Mayfield kid doesn’t get rushed in the pocket, maybe he can do some things.”

/can’t help but think that this one will be an ugly affair

Sea/Ari:

Here’s a silly stat-them Seahawks haven’t had a road September win in five freakin’ years. Perhaps the return of wr Baldwin will contribute to the end of the streak. Or perhaps what will tilt things for the road team is the fact that the Cards D allows opposing qb’s to complete passes at a 70%+ clip.

NO/NYG:

The fantasy play here is wr Shepard. Outside of cb Lattimore the Saints secondary is a travestylaughingstock. The cb2 spot is occupied by two nobodies that take turns getting the start, getting yanked and then getting put back in because the other sucks so badly. Plus te Engram is out so more targets to get. As of today, Eli is completing 80% of his aimed throws! (passes that aren’t intentionally ditched) I blame Saquon and his generational talent.

SF/LAC:

The Curse of The Cougar Hunter manifests itself once again! This time in the form of Jimmy G’s leg going all kablooie. Qb C.J. will need all of Matt Breida’s 5.4 yards per carry to help keep the pressure off.

Type like a million monkeys trying to write a novel.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Redshirt

HAHAHAHA! Oh Raiders.

fleshwound_NPG

LOLRAIDERS

Mr. Ayo

THAT’S HIS RAIDERS!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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I can’t enjoy the Raiders getting fucked more.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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fleshwound_NPG

well, they do have an ass at off. coordinator…

(edit: read that as “ass in their game” because it’s been a long week)

fleshwound_NPG

Clots and NASCAR fucked up at the exact moment in time

https://twitter.com/nascarcasm/status/1046505604284653570

Mr. Ayo

BAN ROVALS. There are plenty of good road tracks available.

fleshwound_NPG

this is all because NASCAR has made their bread and butter, ovals, completely shitty and boring as fuck

Redshirt

Left turn. Left turn. Left turn. Left turn. Left turn. Left turn. Left turn. Left turn. Left turn. Left turn. Left turn. Left turn. Left turn. Left turn. Left turn. Left turn. … Left turn. Left turn. Oh, look at that cloud in the— CRASH!!!!

fleshwound_NPG

not an oval this week

Redshirt

Drat. Well that joke works most of the time.

Redshirt

Fusion Dance! Nice one, Browns!

fleshwound_NPG

BAKERDOWN

fleshwound_NPG

He missed on the ice-the-kicker timeout

Frank Reich made two fireable offenses in two minutes

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Raiders self-destructing surprisingly early today.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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LemonJello

They hoping to beat the rush from the stadium and get home for the night game?

Redshirt

Colts coach has never played blackjack. Win if you can. Tie if you must.

Mr. Ayo

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

King Hippo

then iced the shank! THAT’s SO HUMPS!!!

King Hippo

YEAH HOPKINS BABY!!!

LemonJello

This campaign has a most unsatisfying conclusion for Captain Luck and his mounted troops.

King Hippo

Guess the Humps no want Glorious Draw?

Redshirt

Clots you dumbasses!!!!

fleshwound_NPG

LOL FAT HUMPS

Doktor Zymm

that is some BULLSHIT AT THE RAIDERS GAME.

Redshirt

Tie or Fair Catch Kick!

Mr. Ayo

Awfully quick whistle. BEEF MOE WAS NAE STAHPED! BULLY DAT!

Redshirt

Colts are going for the loss.

King Hippo

You call timeout after 3rd down because otherwise…Indy runs the clock out. Idiots.

King Hippo

/as opposed to calling on 2nd down

JustStopDude

I love how the announcers think the Browns going for two is just an interesting idea and has nothing to do with the simple fact that the Browns don’t actually have a fucking place kicker.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Did he get hurt?

JustStopDude

Zane Gonzalez and he got fired. Now we got South African Greg Joseph. He is very iffy on short…medium…and long kicks.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

There’s My Raiders.

JustStopDude

GO BROWNS!!!!

Gratliff

Are Niners and Chargers playing on the sun?

Redshirt

NFL dreams of expansion are going too far!

Sol Phoenixes

King Hippo

Guess who ML bet the Tomsulas! 😀

Mr. Ayo

STOMP!

fleshwound_NPG

demand tiekkake

fleshwound_NPG

fuck yes

Redshirt

CBS, don’t you even think of going to NO/NJG.

Mr. Ayo

C’mon TIE!

King Hippo

odds looking good!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

fuuuuucccccckkkkkk I needed Hopkins to reel that in

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Redshirt

I don’t know, Hippo. Moose made a very good counterargument.

Mr. Ayo

I know what I’m watching for the next 2 hours.

JustStopDude

Its universal right? This isn’t controversial…all of America wants to watch John Gruden fail right?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Yes, even his family (guaranteed money).

Redshirt

I think I read on Twitter that Trump is going to hold a Campaign Rally to support that view and Hillary is going to introduce him.

King Hippo

KosherDOWN!!!

Mr. Ayo

IN-COM-PLETE!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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JustStopDude

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Spur

Die Eagles Die

JustStopDude

What the fuck was that Todd Haley?!?

Mr. Ayo

TITS!

Gratliff

oh fuck it all

Gratliff

oh this fucking game

JustStopDude

I swear Andrew Luck looks like a guy coming back from chemo. Like he is down 30 pounds and he looks unwell.

fleshwound_NPG

so, every other fucker that has to live in indiana (except for the “down 30 lbs” part)

Mother Puncher

Shouting about the Bengals surrounded by Browns fans. I’m a Browns fan now for the next 2 hours.

Redshirt

Smart call.

litre_cola

I really shouldn’t watch the Iggles in front of my son.

Redshirt

Mayfield has the same wide-armed windup as Tebow.

JustStopDude

Knowing the luck of the Browns….Mayfield will figure things out…and then it comes out he is a serial killer.

Gratliff

goddamn bleergh

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

That’s…Not My Raiders?

JustStopDude

Welcome to the NFL Baker…

Horatio Cornblower

Just got back in from mowing the lawn. How are the dolphins doi…

Jesus Christ.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I hope Kap’s lawyer has his TiVo queued up for the CJ Beath-ing

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