Your “Something Ugly This Way Comes” Sunday Night Football Open Thread

He had a couple of angry scars that I couldn’t take my eyes away from. I barely knew him but we had this deal going for about a week now and the money was good. I’d play the out-of-towner that made a few bucks off this ugly-looking guy that was doing this 3 card monte thing. When I left folks in the crowd would ante up and when they lost they would blame their own hard luck. After all, that was the only thing they’d ever known their entire lives-and what the hell were they doing hanging out behind the burnt-out warehouse on Westinghouse Street anyway? Improving their lot in life? Not likely. Plus, the old man was very good. He had all the looks in his inventory-he could be surprised. He did a fantastic, “sorry for your luck” face. His exasperation at losing was worthy of a young Keitel in Mean Streets. He hadn’t gotten this far on luck.

We met, like we always did, in the alleyway in the middle of 3rd Street. He said the action had been good and he slipped me $200. This was great action, best I’d had in quite some time… But my nerve-endings were doing that thing again. He turned away with what for him would pass as a smile. The piece of rope that had seen more than a few things fit snugly around his neck. I got the usual scratches on the face as he flustered about. He went down relatively easy-I’d give it a 5 out of 10. When I went through his pockets I found exactly 200 bucks. It’s not often you find a straight-shooter like that. Oh well, time to move on. I raised my flask to the moon and yelled, “TO THE GAME!”

 

Bal/Pit:

What time is it? It’s Hayden Hurst time! “Who the fuckballs is Hurst?”, you so elegantly screech. Well, if you must know, he’s the first round rook te that is playing for the very first time tonight. A Ravens Nation holds its halitosis breath. The last time rb Collins lugged the ball vs. the Steelers iffy run D he got himself a measly 120 yards. I’ll bet Flacco’s room temperature gogurt that he gives him the rock a whole whack of times at the outset of the game. It’s the kind of treatment a lousy run D deserves.

Do your thing, tiny dancers.

 

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UnsurprisedSenor WeaselotheeWeeBabySeamusMoose -The End Is Well NighMr. Ayo Recent comment authors
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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Atlanta, dude.
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theeWeeBabySeamus

I’ve had teh hiccups all freaking day today. I don’t remember the last time I had hiccups before this. And it’s really beg….really beg….really beginning to piss me off!!!!!!!!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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THAT’S RIGHT! WOMEN’S PRISON ….. IN SPACE!

That’s around ten fetishes right in one movie.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

John Carradine. There are more Carradines than you can hang in a closet

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

What’s the funniest thing you’ve heard all day?

For me? NC State being ranked in the Top 25 in this week’s poll.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

All Truth Biscuit takes.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Still searching. I rated somebodies comment banner-worthy, but I can’t remember it now.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

I once saw someone eating corn so aggressively I thought he was going to rip a tooth out on the cob.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Even funnier? We’re just good enough to maybe run the table, given Clemson’s issues this weekend.

Probably won’t happen. We’ll probably lose to BC next week. Or Wake Forest (we do that a lot, but not usually at our place).

But seriously….we could run the table and make the playoff. The other side of the ACC really is that bad this year.

If NC State runs the table and makes the playoff, I will eat my own underpants.

(yes I just escaped this bet yesterday from the Orioles but i want to eat some underpants dammit)

((no, not my own))

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I heard if you wore the edible ones too much you get an infection.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Wow, Please report to you nearest psychologist for immediate help. It’s been a long time since I’ve witnessed such false visions of grandeur.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Oh trust me, I’m not saying I think it will happen.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Get your tits ready; Monday is here.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I just made my first pie! Peach.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

With Palisade peaches?

Wakezilla

Should have made it with an American fruit like Apple, commie

Senor Weaselo

Is there also punch?

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Redder’n the fires of Hell.
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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

I need to remake the good gif with the full line.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Wakezilla

People forget that before Netflix and chill, there was Zoolander and chill

yeah right

CNN is airing the last season of Parts Unknown.
Not sure how I’ll handle it but I’m going in.

I love you all.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I have several of all three shows on DVR. I one at a time for a while.

Senor Weaselo

I need Hill and Kelce to get… oh good, 45 points tomorrow night.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

NO.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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That was fun.

WCS

No it wasn’t, but auto +1 for any and all Rocko’s reference.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Well, not for da Stillerz fans.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Of course I want the AFC to sort itself out to beat the fucking Patriots.

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Doktor Zymm

I don’t know what a bear looks like when it gratifies itself sexually, but it’s probably something like these political ads. Night all.

Senor Weaselo

Conan showed it!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

How could you insult our majestic Ursa friends in such a degrading manner? Political ads!?!?

Doktor Zymm

Flacco, not just neckbeard but back of neck running into backhair….

Doktor Zymm

Probably not, but Brandon Carr, Derek Carr, related?

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

Maybe David and Derek’s dad fathered Brandon on some kind of weird Christian Rumspringa thing between the fathering of the two white ones.

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

So, once they figure out why the plane disappeared for 5-1/2 years, then what happens?

WCS

They introduce another plane that was gone at the same time.

/Lost sucked

Doktor Zymm

End of series, all actors fired

Senor Weaselo

It’s like the episode of the Twilight Zone. They try to figure out how to bring it back. Then overshoot, hit the era of the dinosaurs, then repeat until success or out of fuel.

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

Well, I don’t care much one way or the other about the Ravens, but I sure like seeing Pittsburgh lose at home. If only there was some way of making the attendees stay in their seats until the game is over.

Brocky

Lol is ben concussed?

Gatoraids
Gatoraids

how would you even tell

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Jesus Christ.

How fucked up is it that the banner pic is literally the face at least two women see in their nightmares.

Doktor Zymm

More justice than most unfortunately 🙁

yeah right

Only the second most frightening face to Stormy Daniels though.

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

Mr. Toad being the worst?

WCS

Well, WVU is pretty good, and the Pens start their season this week.

O HAI EVERYONE

Doktor Zymm

Hiya!

Doktor Zymm

Damn…that is an EMPTY stadium!

Doktor Zymm

Did Flacco grow out to a sorta greaser ‘do?

yeah right

He’s been born again hard.

He eats real vanilla bean ice cream not that vanilla extract shit.

Brocky

Cmon flacco, do a white guy dance!

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

Man, they have a lot of problems in Chicago, at least on NBC.

Doktor Zymm

In real life response times are way higher, and staffing levels are way lower. Also, taxes are all going to the pension funds of dudes who beat people up in ’68

Doktor Zymm

So, what percentage of NFL players do you think wear a cup? Cause there’s def a few you can see a clear outline

Doktor Zymm

Okay, that was a pretty sweet run, but BOTH TEAMS EW

Brocky

This Roethlisberger interception right here I call the Obama administration because a black guy is gonna get blamed for a white guys actions!

Brocky

…. it was funny in my head okay!

Doktor Zymm

LOLOLOLOL

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

HARFception!

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

Graydickception!

Doktor Zymm

STUFF IS A TECHNICAL TERM

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

“You’ve got the best kicker and you’ve got an injured steeler” nice segue Cris.

fleshwound_NPG
fleshwound_NPG

bet that phone don’t even work

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Doktor Zymm

I’m impressed that her legs look like she has nylons on, but I don’t think she does. Naturally shiny?

fleshwound_NPG
fleshwound_NPG

nope, hose

(EDIT: no, you’re right)

yeah right

Yep. Hose. You can see the hem line just below the bottom of the skirt.

Doktor Zymm

That’s gotta be airbrushed then, because look at the ankles. Looking more, I think you can actually see the point the editing starts, the skin tone on her leg changes

fleshwound_NPG
fleshwound_NPG

see it now

Doktor Zymm

ONE BILLION DOLLARS TO THE FIRST MAN TO JUST HOOK UP THE RADIO PLAY BY PLAY TO THE TV FEED AND FIRE EVERY TV COMMENTATOR OUT OF CANNON

Brocky

Okay, I did it. You didn’t specify which tv though.

And now electric Avenue is playing for some reason

Doktor Zymm

Friend of mine had a chance to have an apartment on electric avenue in Boston, and didn’t for some reason. I can only think she didn’t have it in her to rock down to there every day after work.

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

Perhaps it was because down in the street there was violence, and a lots of work to be done; also, no place to hang out her washing. That all would have deterred me, anyway.

yeah right

And you still can’t feed everyone!

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli
Spur
Spur

am out. tomorrow game should be fun.

fleshwound_NPG
fleshwound_NPG

not a fan of super-fancy chess pieces, you at some point forget which piece is which

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Brocky

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yeah right

Not to mention she has the king and queen next to the knight. Where’s the damn bishop?

Brocky

How the hell can you tell which one is which?

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

King is always on the left.

yeah right

You have to enlarge. She can offer suggestions.

Doktor Zymm

Why would they blitz? Elite isn’t eliting even without pressure.
Also, LOOK HOW NOT THAT HARD IT IS TO KICK A FIELD GOAL OR EXTRA POINT WITHOUT SKEWING HARD LEFT!!

I could kick for the Raiders and while I might be shitty, I at least wouldn’t be CONSISTENTLY SHITTY IN THE SAME DIRECTION EVERY TIME AIM FOR THE RIGHT UPRIGHT YOU SHILL

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

You can have Sea Bass back.

Please take him back.

Doktor Zymm

You would be amazed at the nostalgia, people loves that dude. I personally think kickers are fairly interchangable, but eh

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

Tell me again how Baltimore co-opted Seven Nation Army, to the point that the network uses it as bumper music for the Ravens?

herodotus450
herodotus450

Cause you need at least that many armies to walk the streets in Baltimore unmolested?

Spur
Spur

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Doktor Zymm

SPEED KILLS PSA

fleshwound_NPG
fleshwound_NPG

alright she is holding that wine glass all wrong, she could spill it at any second

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Brocky

I love how utterly stupid reddit is sometimes
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Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli

*prolonged agonizing groaning sound*

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli

You know what? Vaporize me. Turn me in a pile of disintegrated triangles. It’s time.

Spur
Spur

What’s this about vaporize? – Josh Gordon

Redshirt

If Infinity War was real, I think society would happily welcome a 50% contraction.

Doktor Zymm

I got a recruiting email from Reddit last week. I won’t lie, I’m not really looking to leave my job, but I’m tempted.

Spur
Spur

Hold out for that 4Chan money,

Spur
Spur

Does this mean Kevin White is Gamora?

Brocky

He has to make it at least halfway through the movie for that