Mahomes Needs a Nickname

I hate the Chiefs.  I hate them so much that when I’m feeling blue I literally pull up videos of their humiliating playoff collapses against the Colts and Titans in order to make myself feel better.

So I think it really says something that I don’t feel any particular animosity towards the Chiefs’ phenomenal new quarterback Patrick Mahomes.  While “what that says” might be that I’m completely dead inside and have only adopted a flat affect as a defense mechanism to prevent the current world grind my delicate psyche into dust, at the end of the day it means I can watch Patrick Mahomes lead the Chiefs to wins with mild curiosity rather than unvarnished rage.  The only thing I – and many others – can find to complain about Patrick Mahomes is his the execrable nickname of “Showtime” that has somehow been bestowed upon him.

We can do better.

Here at DoorFliesOpen we tried our hand at a few alternatives.  Please list your own suggestions in the comment section.

“Pour one out for” Mahomes
“Patrick Is” Mahomes
“Jeebus Is” Mahomes
“What’sup” Mahomes
Patrick Ma “Old Kentucky” homes
The Mortgage
Sup? [Which also works because he’s whassup (until teams get enough tape on him)]
Mahomes II Men
Rollin’ With Mahomes
“Please Don’t Initiate Foreclosure Proceedings On” Mahomes.
Mahomes “Curb Appeal”
Better Mahomes and Gardens
Mahomes for unwed mothers.
Mahomes on Homes

Get to work!

Law-abiding Raiders fan, pet owner, Los Angeles resident.
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Don T

Mahomes bin martyred

Downfield Matriculator
Downfield Matriculator

Afternoon Delight (PM)


Mahomey Mahomes?

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

“Fucking Mahomes Owner Association”

Trevor Semen
Trevor Semen



He has a lot of Sex Cannon in him.

They all do – R. Grossman

Senor Weaselo

Brothel? Because it would be a Sex Mahomes?


Patreek Le Chic


He and the Houston QB can solve crimes as Mahomes and Watson


Mahomes, Mahomes, Ma-Lovely-Lady-Homes


Mahomes Macastle

Mahomes Invasion
Mahomes Invader

Proud Mahomes Owner for those that indulge in FF


Soul Patch

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

I though that was when the little tuft of hair was halfway between the lower lip and point of the chin?

Goddamnit, when did facial hair get complicated?


It doesn’t matter. Nothing matters.


This is hanging from the wall at work. It’s nice to see that the more things change, the more they stay the same…
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Full name: Patrick Lavon Mahomes II

So why not just Pat Jr?

Game Time Decision

Mahomes, sweet Mahomes

Game Time Decision

There’s no place like Mahomes

King Hippo

Product of Vile Miscegeneation! – Jefferson Beauregard S., Lickspittle, AL

King Hippo

Mahomes-y for me, but only works if one speaks mildly Southern


Mahomesy Don’t Play That


Mahomes for unwed mothers

This gets abbreviated to “MUM”


Mahomes Alone

Arrowhead Stadium becomes: Mahomes Depot

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Through Reid-O-Vision:
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“Pepperoni Calzones…”

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

For when he makes a defender look stupid:

“You just got Mahomes schooled!”


Pat “I’m already better than my Dad” Mahomes


Coach Andy Reid, Take Mahomes
To a place he belongs,
Atlanta Georgia, Megatron’s Butthole
Take Mahomes, Coach Andy Reid

Not a knickname obviously, but Mahomes name made me think of that damn song, which I will hear for the rest of my day.


Mahomio and Tyreekette

Ian Scott McCormick

Pat the Gat
Blaat! blaat!