I hate the Chiefs. I hate them so much that when I’m feeling blue I literally pull up videos of their humiliating playoff collapses against the Colts and Titans in order to make myself feel better.
So I think it really says something that I don’t feel any particular animosity towards the Chiefs’ phenomenal new quarterback Patrick Mahomes. While “what that says” might be that I’m completely dead inside and have only adopted a flat affect as a defense mechanism to prevent the current world grind my delicate psyche into dust, at the end of the day it means I can watch Patrick Mahomes lead the Chiefs to wins with mild curiosity rather than unvarnished rage. The only thing I – and many others – can find to complain about Patrick Mahomes is his the execrable nickname of “Showtime” that has somehow been bestowed upon him.
We can do better.
Here at DoorFliesOpen we tried our hand at a few alternatives. Please list your own suggestions in the comment section.
“Pour one out for” Mahomes
“Patrick Is” Mahomes
“Jeebus Is” Mahomes
Patrick Ma “Old Kentucky” homes
Sup? [Which also works because he’s whassup (until teams get enough tape on him)]
Mahomes II Men
Rollin’ With Mahomes
“Please Don’t Initiate Foreclosure Proceedings On” Mahomes.
Mahomes “Curb Appeal”
Better Mahomes and Gardens
Mahomes for unwed mothers.
Mahomes on Homes
Get to work!