Boy, did we ever laugh some laughs back there! Nevertheless, it’s onwards and sidewayswards for us grizzled veterans of the commenting game. There’s always so much more work to do when you’re employed in the Merriment Division of the innanet. TO THE GAMES!
LAR/DEN:
Cooks and Kupp are ready to fly around the field after overcoming last week’s head ouchers. So yeah, your sneaky pickup of Josh Reynolds was a waste of time, Scotch. The Hurley Gurley Man should have himself a day vs. a Broncs team that gave up an insanecake 323 yards on the ground last week against the Jets. Truth be told, I didn’t believe that and had to look it up myself. And yes, if numbers still describe what they’ve been describing up to now, that set of figures is dead on. WOW! There is a forecast of the non-cocaine white stuff though…
JAX/DAL:
I have a bit of stomach pain but I’m sure it’ll go away soon. The Jags have signed Ereck Flowers . Nope, it’s not going away-actually, I’m also having trouble gulping in air between my insane fits of laughter as well. Hoo boy, that was a good one! Even though Jalen Ramsey is a game-timer the pathetic passing game of the Cowboys shouldn’t cause much trouble. I don’t know, maybe Rico Gathers can step up and make a difference. [starts laughing again] Seriously, I kill me.
BAL/TEN:
Keep an eye out for retread Breshad Perriman-he’s back in business with the Ravens. Much like a bad cold, he never really goes away. Demonstrably incompetent Derrick Henry sloughed his way to 56 yards last week! As the coaching staff pointed out, ‘Technically, microscopic improvement is still improvement’.
Keep your hands on your balls, everybody!
Joe Mixon carried the ball eleven (11) times in a tightly contested division game that saw Andy Dalton throw forty-two (42) passes.
Why does Marvin Lewis still have a job again?
Ownership ennui.
My theory is that Lewis is an inside man for the Brown family. If the Bungles got too good, they’d have to pay players more, pay for playoff game stadium operations, make new “Championship” merchandise, etc; NOT worth the effort. If they stay put they still get that juicy revenue share money at minimum effort. AKA The McCaskey Supremacy.
For the love of Lombardi’s ghost, get Mariotta out of there before parts start flying off him.
RIGHT IN THE CODPIECE! ONE NUT DOWN!
Would have been better if it had hit him in the face.
Or the nuts.
THESE RAVENS I CALL HUGINN AND MUNINN BECAUSE THEY’RE BRINGING ABOUT RAGNAROK ON THESE TITANS.
We’ve crossed from bad to tragic in Jerrahworld
Bortles’ band barely breathing, bleeding badly from their bungholes?
Which ratbird ded?
#72, lineman. The update is he has movement in his extremities.
That doesn’t sound at all familiar.
What’s with TEN? Every year I hear they’re gonna take a gm big step forward — and it never happens.
Mariota keeps getting hurt. If he had one healthy season, they’d make that leap.
And he’d snap his ankle upon landing
If Hillbot is going to try to run again in 2020, maybe it’s not a good idea to double down on “Monica Lewinsky was an adult, so who gives a fuck?”
http://www.nydailynews.com/news/politics/ny-news-bill-hillary-clinton-monica-lewinsky-20181014-story.html
That’s because all she cares about is power. And why Trump is president.
The robotic death march to the white house continues unabated, but once again, she’ll trip at the end, but it’s to be expected what with her being a white woman in a horror movie.
Zeke needs to work on his “Billionaire walk”.
well shit. Jax is dead and gonna loose.
gonna go away & smoke some weed, then come back later for pats vs. chiefs….
Bye!
It’s too cold for RAMMMIITTT
This is a pretty fucking bad slate of games right here
is Derrick Henry playing today?
I want nothing more than to see HOU go trade for Osweiler on Tuesday.
Nantz desperately wants to be Romo’s friend
I got DAL/JAX this slate.
Mark me down as one to say JAX peaked last season.
what was Bortles doing?
BORT-ing!
Nantz calls the Cowboys PK by his nickname. Such an unbiased professional.
He Goff’ed it up there. Pickerception for den
I’m right at home!
Chilling in the kitchen with a beer in hand and saute action happening.
Yes, I really do love to cook.
I would TOTES start Swag Kelly Week 12 (Baby Buster’s bye week), when Donks WOO!! are home to the shitass Yinzers.
I respectfully disagree with city officials of Savannah, GA.
That’s pretty funny.
The look of a man who just realized they’re not slaves anymore
chuh chuh!!
That’s very funny
SWAG WAGON! SWAG WAGON! SWAG WAGON! SWAG WAGON! SWAG WAGON! SWAG WAGON!
jax finally scores….
Mah pot roast turned out quite nicely.
I love my Instant Pot™.
My beef bourganoine did not do nice in the instapot. First real failure.
Notice how Gurley Man has the sense to accept 1st and goal at the 2, rather than risk a dumbass pylon stretch.
got a big one in Bradley Chubb
I guess we really aren’t doing phrasing anymore…
Not playing and not losing has its benefits. NC State moves up five spots this week in the poll.
If we can manage to not play again all year, we could win the nat’l championship.
“That math checks out.”
-U*NC grad, class of 2018
Derek Carr was seen today crying on the field. Some think it was due to frustration, it was tears of happiness as Joy Division was piped into his headset.
it’s always raining in London so he thought no one would notice.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pPG_TCX2Z0k
According to this Fantasy Life app, evidently, Cupp says he’s gonna try and play the second half.
So much grit, the gears are grinding to a halt.
Are we sure he cleared the concussion protocol?
“You can get a concussion in your knee? Cool.”
~T. Green
Crabtree with hands like his crustacean namesake.
NEW FORMAT SCANDALS AND HANDOFFS
SHIT. It was just Keenum being evaluated for Trent Green, but he’s been cleared. NO SWAG WAGON SAD HIPPO.
Los Titanicos did a… good?
Who knew letting conor mcgregor call the Dallas offense was going to work?
“RUN IT RIGHT AT THE FOOKIN MUSLIMS”
Flaccoception. And the crowd is mildly interested.
2016 DAK DAK DAK DAK DAK!
Just caught out of the corner of my eye that the Red Sox are in the ALCS. Why do that to us as a country?
because the Yankees let us down (yes that is a very weird sentence to type)
Swag Kelly came out to take the final kneel down. Is a change afoot in Donksville??
I’m on the case… actually I’m not his type at all
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAM IT!! carnival has certainly been slowed today, though.
where is that killer Jax defense???
got a hold of some bad Fort Worth meth
It’s my fault for starting them
Chubb does a thing!!
I really wish his name was Richard
Also that he was from Dixwell
apparently, they hail from an actual “Chubbtown” that dates back to just after the end of the Civil War
And that he was ass naked mmmmmm…. sorry I’m daydreaming again.
They probably should do a lingerie game for breast cancer month
Oh honey, I’d have to invite my vampire friend Leslie over and just gaze into their sinewy haunches!
those pills work
I read that Sears was finally admitting defeat this week. When was the last time you shopped in a Sears store?
2010 – for a new stove before that I can’t remember.
Had my fortune told there just last week smh
I tried to buy a refrigerator from them in 2003? I want to say. And they refused my credit application.
Bitch, I have an immaculate credit rating.
Never set foot in their store since.
“Look at Prescott get out of a pickle.”
Jesus Jeem that was so very Caucasian of you.
It’s more aesthetically pleasing than Robert Mapplethorpe getting out of a pickle
It’s hard to get out of a pickle, the brine gives them added toughness
Briny is the new gritty.
Swag Wagon, Swag Wagon…
Dallas won’t throw any more forward passes, right?
They should take Mariota out of the game. He’s injured.
If I see Captain Dingleberry throw directly into the oncoming D-line one more time I’m gonna slap his Jesus.
That IS his go-to panic move!
He threw like SIX pass deflections today.
Motherfucker, roll out!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uzmUzDi7UMI
Zeke took a nasty hit. that had to hurt.
Good.
Harrumph!
He will now be suspended 4 games for not taking what he dishes out
probably just fell down some stairs
Donks seem pretty happy to get out at 13-3