Week 10 Fallout:
-Cooper Kupp had the biggest fall. The end result was a tear of his AFL-CIO. Can’t help thinking someone will fill the void.
-The Saints kicked the tires on Brandon Marshall and figured that he’s a fine-looking rental.
-You don’t have Bengals DC Teryl Austin to kick around anymore. Who? Anyhoo, he’s done and gone.
-A 7 year-old wrote a letter to Jerrah that left scorch marks. The kid is now head of scouting for the Cowboys.
-Mark Davis said that he was completely responsible for the Raiders record. The jury is still out on who to blame for his haircut. All the votes have yet to be counted but “Bowl” is leading.
TO THE GAME!
Jizziants/Nerders:
I threw a certain Nick Mullens (all of them!) under the bus last week before his debut. Much like a number of folks on this very site, “I WAS JUST PLAYING THE ODDS!” and betting that a fella not long off the practice squad would struggle in his first start. Mullens replied with, “Wrongo, assholio!” and tossed the ball at a 72% completion rate for two scores and had not a single turnover. Now that wr Pierre Garcon has been ruled out the coaching staff has detected some sort of pattern and has activated another guy off the practice squad. This is wr Kendrick Bourne’s first ever NFL game. Asked for comment, Niners owner Jed York said, “I just hope that Kendrick Lamar’s second cousin can contribute tonight.”
Say what you will.
YES!!!! Rushing scores is fine!
/Breida on bench in both leagues of course, I lament not being able to beat tWBS by 50+ now 😀
MOAR Breida downs!
Brenda?
Another Hochuli ? ? ?
Son of
stupid Gigantes
That’s what my friend Pedro said after Daryl Hannah blew him off for a picture.
MAGNIFICENT LEVIS STADIUM!
#SpiritOfSantaClara
Uncle Ed once said, “I remember when Roger Craig had 1,000 yards rushing and receiving in the mid-80s. Then my ex-wife gave my syphillis so I called her RG until we divorced.”
I think it’s been like two weeks since I had a drink. I’ve got about ten days left. I can make it, damn it. I can do it.
the Senate fucked us, so you should be allowed at least BEER
It’s my last week of full work for the next two weeks, it’s going to be a long week.
Football on mute.
Iceball on stream.
Booze on rocks.
Pants on … … off!
World sucks a liiiiittle less … very little.
These 49ers are a Gritty Bunch.
In that they are a horrifying nightmare to look at, yes.
“Time. Critical. Give him time.”
– not Jason Witten
DO IT FOAR ELISHA!! We must have ALL teh ManningFace
Because I am such a soft touch I let my cat sleep inside last night instead of making her spend the night on the patio and as a result those stupid rats ruined three more of my blood oranges.
Thomas Jefferson Approves
I mean in theory bikini bottoms could just be half of a silly putty egg.
too much material
You think Eli ever smoked Weed or a cigarette for that matter?
He got fuckin’ zooted on candy cigs once.
I remember when OBJ was just a text to remind your significant other they owed you a favor.
Foolproof defensive strategy to stop Saquon Barkley: have a shit field.
Dan Snyder’s best free agent move was the grass.
Giants should save us the time and just kick the field goal now.
First and 54-yards
Saquon off the field, they should have Elisha take a knee.
/followed by immediate TD throw that was actually a nice play
WOO!!! Put CJ Cregg back in now so’s I can rest easy.
And now for our Asian fans we turn into the Japanese recap of the game so far:
THIS GAME REALRY SHIT. ERRI THROW BALL TO REDMEN, FOOTBARR TEAM NOT CHIPPEWAS. WHY GAME NO FREX I NO KNOW.
Thank you, Nissan for that.
found a funny:
Maybe since both teams suck so bad it’ll be an even matchup and maybe even be competitive.
Probably not.
defensing units look up for it, which HIPPO NEED
Fat guy TOOK IT BACK!! This shitty game rules.
Let’s not start thinking like Ed Kemper, now
oh, I will always just love FAT GUYS DOING NON-FAT GUY FOOTBAW THINGS!
Oh Eli.
The East is so fucking bad
How is this game not flexed? There can’t be that many people actually wanting to watch this game, can there? It’s the toilet bowl
I’m watching it, but I’m a sick, sick man
ESPN had a huge fluff-piece about the rivalry/playoff clashes between these two squads in the ’80s – ’90s. Guess they didn’t want to shitcan it.
Can’t flex monday night games right? Every team gets one and one Thursday game. Like Communism. That’s what the kneeling is about right? Protesting communism?
I don’t think the Dolphins or Browns get Monday games.
That’s not good
https://www.kmov.com/news/watch-wildfire-roars-along-busy-california-freeway/article_7d269d9a-e6b7-11e8-8f00-231907f36a37.html
Jason Witten is boring. Joe Tessitore is boring. Even a dude named Booger can’t save this uninteresting shitpile.
I am fading Mullens hard, appreciated those checkdowns. Gigantes competence, or a nice, safe 12-nil loss works great for Hippo.
Evening, folks. Windows 10 is the shittiest OS I’ve ever seen. I’ve been retrofitting an old machine to run it, and holy fuck is this piece of garbage ever bug-riddled. I’m gonna pirate 7 just so I don’t have to keep going through this shit.
Also, I guess I’m watching the game or something.
We now have to backup our computers every 15 minutes because windows 10 will update without warning, wiping out all work.
I am terrified at the thought of any critical industrial systems being run on windows 10.
Folks, Dual Scan is the fucking devil. Even with WSUS in place. Even with SCCM with automated targeted deployment, it helps by phoning home and making sure your clients are updated to their standards. It makes me look bad on a monthly basis. The only way to properly block it through group policy also breaks the ability to auto-update drivers and virus definitions and many other automated tasks that require connecting to windows update. It makes smarter people than me look like idiots and I want it to be dead.
Every single ESPN national broadcast (baseball and football) is boring as shit.
Evening all. Miggy got robbed. Not by himself or he would have short-armed the throw or something, but still. Miggy got robbed.
So is Mullens going to get a starting job somewhere?
I am not sure someone/exactly who is really that stupid, but not at all confident that SOMEBODY won’t be.
“He’s an asshole, that fuckin’ asshole dropped it. And then he’s gonna blame Eli! I hate him so much.”
I adore my family.
I have decided that due to a head cold Nyquil plus this game may be entertaining!
Fuck daycares, disease incubators.
Fuck, that was me for two weeks. You might need antibiotics. Stay strong
Fun Fact. The reason for San Fran’s large Gay Population is from gay soldiers returning from WW2. Their medical records were rumored to have been disclosed to their hometown doctors. At the time most Americans were from small towns and seeing no better option then returning home to be shunned they made home at their port of entry.
A salute to the Gay GIs.
My great uncle apparently was one of those gay guys that stayed on there.. No one ever talked about Ernie very much, but my mom did tell me that he was gay and had been shunned by the rest of the family. I looked him up and found him about 20 years ago and asked his brother, my granddad, if he wanted me to reach out to him since it had been 50+ years. My granddad said Fuck No, which kind of shocked me.
Did you reach out yourself?
Sent an email but got no response.
Woot Woot.
https://thinkprogress.org/kyrsten-sinema-wins-5d41f3f73c91/
Conservatism in the United States truly is dying – both metaphorically and literally. The kids who came out this cycle to vote will be back again in 2020. Many of the elderly who did the same will die. Conservatives are dying off far more quickly than they can make new ones.
Conservatives gladly got in bed with the Russian Mob to hold on just a little bit longer. They are raging and they are dangerous.
I think you’re confusing Republicans with conservatives. Conservative thinking is not dying any time soon.
they need to de-couple it from racism, or it will be a regionalized rump
No, that too. Conservatism appeals to people who have assets they want to protect. Thanks to the pressures being put on them by greedy Boomers, the Xers and Millenials have a lot less to protect.
I mean this is an insanely simplified generalization, but the fundamentals that cause people to become more conservative as they get older are breaking down.
Let’s clarify that then to mean Socially Conservative. Financial Conservatism won’t die any time soon.
Well there will always be differences in grade/degree of non-conservatism, even in a rump GOP situation. I am a Big Tent guy, but if the tent grows to like 70-80%, it will inevitably leak a bit.
Folks.
Welcome to Levi’s Stadium. Canned air available at the concessions stands for extortionate prices. Enjoy the game!
THIS GAME I CALL IT GAY PORN BECAUSE IT INVOLVES SOME SHITTY GIANTS AND SOME IMPOTENT NINERS AFTER DARK
Holy shit!
https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js
https://twitter.com/UrinatingTree/status/1062074546084290561
“Michael Jackson wants his closest friend in the world, Elizabeth Taylor, to be the godmother of his child. However, people in the Jackson are worried, and asking questions, such as whether the child will be molested or eaten.”
Happy Monday Night.
Who the fuck thought this was going to be a good matchup?
Does the NFL hate ESPN or something?
Hmmmmm……Should I rip a bowl everytime the teams score or the OB’s throw an INT?
You should rip a shart instead
Maybe the guy handling the scheduling is a time traveler from 1990?
Btw, next week’s MNF in México City is going to be a clusterfuck of mythical proportions. The Azteca field is in horrible horrible shape and Liga MX teams have had serious problems playing on it. Unless they replace it this week, it’s going to be ridiculous.
So it’ll be like watching a game being played at FedEx field. Got it.
Honestly, yes. That bad. I would not be surprised if someone’s season ended because of that field. Considering it’s two likely playoffs teams, the fallout will be huge.
bad pitch and altitude sickness…what is not to love?!?
I would still argue though it makes a hell of a lot more sense to put a team in Mexico City than fucking England.
WTF is Suzy wearing? I mean, I’ll pollinate her flowers, but damn!
I am currently watching my company’s latest anti-harassment video, which has all the clunkiness, plot holes and acting prowess of an 80’s oorno, but without all the reasons you’d actually be watching an 80’s oorno. A choice line from it so far is:
“You people are always late. What were you doing, taking a siesta?”
“Why are you crying? Is it because God blames you for everything?”
“There is a fire at your company’s German branch, and Reuben’s direct report was unable to send him the sales figures he needs for tomorrows meeting because of it. Let’s see how he handles it.”
“A fire?! I thought you German’s were supposed to be efficient! Surely someone there must have those numbers!”
Are we substituting the word oorno so as to not attract more pornbots?
I certainly wasn’t. This video has me wanting to speak in the proper 80’s dialect, apparently.
That is some high quality racism, gotta give it that.
Supposedly Marvin Lewis is filling in as Defensive Coordinator now that Teryl Austin is out. There is a 100% chance this happened only so that Mike Brown has to pay one less person.
At first I was all like “BOOOO Monday Night Countdown sucks!!!1!” then Suzy did a Suzy thing and I was like “Dawwwww best show on tee vee!”
Has nobody figured out that ancestry.com & 23andme etc are a 3rd party that will have all of your data and most likely will be selling it? I have to pull a Pete Carroll on this one and this it is all the Rothschilds, the Colonel and the Queen are behind it.
“The Rothschilds? We, uh, they haven’t been relevant for decades! It was probably the Morgans or the Rockefellers!”
-The Rothschilds
I’ve known this all along, that they were getting people to voluntarily contribute to their DNA database, with their fancy “find your ancestors” sales pitch. Mostly I think they’ll sell it to life insurance companies who want to know which customers have the “die young” gene so they can bill accordingly. Oh and remember that hobo you killed back in the ’70s that you thought you got away scot free? Think again.
Yeah, whatever. I wore gloves the entire time. There goes *that* theory.
So, apparently the Queen boned Winston Churchill or at the very least gave him the Royal Vonn?
https://www.express.co.uk/news/royal/1044127/Royal-news-Queen-Elizabeth-Winston-Churchill-spt/amp
That’s nasty. Was she even legal?
Sad thing is the Bengals may be dead in the water, but they can still make the playoffs.
@ Ravens (5-5) next week (with Marvin taking over as DC and after laying an egg against N.O., they may be playing like their lives depend on it)
Broncos (3-6) at home
Raiders (1-8) at home
Two against the Browns (3-6-1)
Even with two losses @ Chargers and @ Steelers, 9-7 is a possibility. That may be good enough for them to make the playoffs, God help us.
…and of course…
https://www.cincinnati.com/story/sports/nfl/bengals/2018/11/12/hue-jackson-could-returning-cincinnati-bengals-marvin-lewis/1983119002/
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o_HwzO2uqVs
Wow. Just… wow.
I think it’ll come down to that last Steelers game. If the Steelers bench their starters, you should be fine. If they don’t, well, hopefully Burfict isn’t the only one getting ejected for dirty plays