There were some shenanigans out my way that had the locals gums a-flappin’, I’ll tell you what. I’ve got a 40 minute drive to work and on my way there 6 police cruisers, sirens a-blarin’, tore past me on the highway. This is quite unusual in my very quiet, out of the way community of approx. 9,000 yokels. Sure there’s a druggy underbelly that exists but “busts”, if/when they occur, are done on the QT. It took me some time to find out the details but it turns out there was a nutball with a gun running around the street that I grew up on. This just doesn’t occur here. You’ll be relieved to know that he was tracked down by a K-9 unit and gave himself up.
Meanwhile, a business owner ( in the very loosest sense of the word) in the community of 1,100 people where I slave (hah!) away was arrested by a SWAT team and dragged away in cuffs! Northern Ontario Facebook must be on fire right now. DETAILS TO FOLLOW!
TO THE GAME!
Packers/SeaHawks:
One thing not mentioned very often regarding the two qb’s playing tonight is that they both tend to give up a fair amount of sack yardage because, being fellers that can run, they hold on to the ball longer than the average bear. Seattle qb Wilson is second in yards lost with 204 and Rodgers is right behind him with 184. In first? I’ll give you no guesses-you’re right, it’s Eli. First round rb Rashaad Penney had himself a day last week vs. the Rams vaunted d-line so expect his touches to increase as the season plays itself out. Rodgers’ young, explosive play-makers have already spread their wings. Aaron Jones and Bird Law expert Marquez Valdes-Scantling have already put the giddy-up in the Packers O.
Tons of sports offerings tonight for all y’all eyebulbs. Let’s chat. GO SILLYCUSE!
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOK!
I am still sober (it’s been like 2 weeks now) and it’s the worst thing ever.
tis no way for a man to live!
“Good protection!”
Rodgers starts running for his life.
Need 3 here.
I left a nice one in the elevator today.
hey rogers!
throw it to MVS!!!!
Aw yeah Colonel Sanders you get yourself some of that brown sugar…
In the morning, you will find it’s all high fructose corn syrup and red #4
“That’s fine.”
-Thomas J., Virginia.
How is Chuck Norris still alive?
And fuck the Colonel and Mrs Butterbutt too.
*Worst three-way ever.
That would be 3-and-out.
Seven points closer to 50. Go offense!!
Offense lets do it!
Take the ball & move it!
Ah, the old fumble-on-the-first-play-from-scrimmage-rooski!
Could be worse.
“Let them get overconfident.”
I really cannot stand Joe Buck.
Like when it came out about Bill Cosby…I was shocked. There is nothing that could come out about Joe Buck that would surprise me. I just default think the worst of him.
I bet you he has never rewound a rental VCR tape…
Joe Buck totally leaves his tray on the table after eating at McDonald’s.
He apparently advertises boner pills with “Dr.” Phil; which is really bad IMO.
https://www.complex.com/sports/2013/04/joe-bucks-15-lamest-on-air-moments/
Don’t click the link; the title and site are enough:
https://conspiracydailyupdate.com/2018/08/28/joe-buck-and-dr-phil-defy-big-pharma/
When Joe Buck replaces a roll of toilet paper, he doesn’t put it on the holder. He just put the new roll on top of the empty core on the holder.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C_ijc7A5oAc
Live shot of Rikki vs. the rats
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rKfoSz7Nb88
My office is shut down for all of next week, and apparently someone emailed my offsite boss and told her she couldn’t make me work from home then either. I know this because she told me this in a very snide way on Tuesday. I owe that someone a six pack.
In any case, I am working from home tomorrow, because I am more caught up on my job than I have ever been (and because I can!), which means the next 10 days will have no pants.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=us8OhI-OTHg
And +1 for the early Scorcese film reference — a great movie!
Welp, I just found out Oracle is going to be in Young Justice Season 3 and I now have a Joker-victim-esque smile on my face.
If you immediately noted the irony in that comment, you are my new best friend.
Is it because Oracle should be Batgirl in a show called Young Justice?
No, she was Batgirl last season. Young Justice does time skips between seasons. Season 1 has Robin as a teenager. Then Season 2 goes five years later and Robin is now Nightwing. I have a feeling Season 3 will be the same.
…You would turn it off when I was half way across!
getting our first snow of the winter here in New England. its alright….
Long time ago, I lived in the Bronx. The man who drank 40s all day on the stoop of our building said mice were stupid enough to get trapped, but the only thing for rats was to smash their skulls in and let ’em know who’s the boss. I am sure his liver gave out long ago, but if both a professional malt liquor drinker AND Charlie Kelly are telling you the same thing . . .
Speaking of rats, why can’t we have one gnaw off Bradshaw’s face on this here pre-game shitfest?
john c reiley? what you talking about???
Rikki tomorrow night:
There is always something in each Commentist’s daily life that turns him into a simmering cauldron of rage, like Michael Douglas in Falling Down. I find this a good and healthy thing.
alright Rogers. really need ya to toss it to MVS tonight. can ya do that?
Rikki’s basement:
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0068264/
That’s a funny way of spelling “Red Wings/Senators” Scotchy….
Grrrrr.
Do you play an instrument?
Have you tried testing makeup products on them?
I believe RTD in Ratnado is a great idea for a film.
“Leave no one behind.”
PVC traps?
The city fucked up and 4-6 inches has led to an absolute breakdown. I haven’t heard a plow yet, Port Authority’s closed, the GWB had the upper level closed off due to an accident, and worst of all, I called out for a rehearsal! Everything is shit.
And how are you?
Two inches of ice in my neck o’ the woods. I decided to say “Screw it.” and just stay in all day.
I can think of something else that is 4-6 inches and breaks things down after some ploughing.
/Hip thrusts
Tell me more about this 4 to 6 inches deal.
– Deanna Favre
I lucked out. The ice missed me, so I got to listen at work on everyone north and west freaking out and forgetting what you do with the traffic lights are out. If you said “treat like a four-way stop” you’re wrong. If you said “unspoken agreement to send three cars at a time” you’re correct. If you said “treat like a four-way green and best of luck” you’re also correct.
4-6″? With a little ass training with gradually bigger butt plug you will be able to take this easily.
Kaylyn Kyle liked one of my tweets. Poor thing wants Wakezilla really bad. Can’t say that I blame her.
/Rubs Buddha sized belly
Oh my!
It’s Night 4 of my battle against the rats. The cat has abandoned her post. So far I have set two traps out on each night, both baited with peanut butter. The first night the bait was eaten but neither trap went off. The second night all the bait was eaten but only one trap went off, and caught nothing. The third night the same, except the bait on the trap that went off was let be.
I feel like the rats are toying with me.
Tonight, we clash again.
Looks like those rats are masterbaiters
THEY ARE FUCKING STEALING MY PRECIOUS BLOOD ORANGES AND THEY WILL BE PAYING A PRICE FOR THAT…IN BLOOD.
I WILL KILL THEM ALL, AND WHEN THEIR SONS AND DAUGHTERS DARE TO TRANSGRESS UPON MY PROPERTY IN YEARS HENCE I WILL KILL THEM AS WELL.
NONE SHALL ESCAPE MY WRATH.
You’re two days from using live ammunition and explosives, are you?
He’s all right. Nobody worry ‘bout him.
RTD turning into Charlie Kelly is my new favourite thing.
At least they aren’t stealing your blood…for now
Try stuffing little bits of bacon in the traps. It’s too hard for them to get out without setting off and no animal can resist the scent.
Ooh, this is excellent advice. Plus, it means I must cook bacon.
I’ve killed many a rat in my days working in a small hardware store. Some days I questioned whether it was worth all the death. If my maker is a sewer rat, well then I’ll just have to kill him too.
Put ketchup on the peanut butter. They’ll lick the ketchup before going into the PB and stay on the trap a little bit longer.
Time to call Charlie Kelly.
True story, I spent a decent amount of time today pondering whether I have the things I need around the house to make a set of rodent skewers.
Try using a cage where they have to enter to get the bait. Like a mini-version of a racoon trap.
https://www.amazon.com/EATON-421CL-REPEATER-MULTIPLE-CATCH/dp/B012BDPYNQ/ref=asc_df_B012BDPYNQ/?tag=bingshoppinga-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid={creative}&hvpos={adposition}&hvnetw=o&hvrand={random}&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=e&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl={devicemodel}&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=&hvtargid=pla-4584001418500163&psc=1
I mean I could get some glue traps, and I certainly would relish the opportunity to bash their little rat skulls in by hand, but I’m of the Mike Brown philosophy of doing this as cheaply as humanly possible and I’ve already spent $3 on rat traps, so…
THIS!!
I’ve these traps that are plastic/ metal and they are design so that you put the bait in the back of this little hinged chamber that is about as big as the head (not your head). They have to push into the hinged part to get at the bait; then the snap of spring death is activated and mortality is achieved usually without the blood splatter of other traps; a nice clean broken neck. This is achieved so that you can pick up the carcass by the trap, for those who are squeamish about handling rigor rat.
I can’t find a picture of the ones I have. A friend used this method for drowning and said it works.
My family wanted to use something like that to drown a live racoon in a trash can. It took 10 minutes for me to explain how stupid an idea that was.
Raccoon be a different story, rats are also good in water, but she said it worked, but most were still living and needed some shovel head assistance into the Great Rat Abyss.
If the traps don’t work tonight I will be building one of these tomorrow.
Also rat tacos.
The visuals are from a very large rat.
Yeah, my parents use them and used to call me over whenever they caught one.
So, potentially scary thought: Are you sure it’s rats?
Pretty sure, yeah. I mean it could be possums, but I’ve actually seen the rats.
I’m not sure if you have them where you live (because they were banned in Vancouver,BC), but, I have committed a genocide on both rats and mice by these super sticky rat traps. You put a little peanut butter on the middle of the trap and when you catch them, you place them in a grocery bag and fuck them up.
My solution: Electrified fence around blood oranges
That is something I also gave some thought to.
I’m really impressed with the way the DFO community has come together to offer all of our insights on how to murder those thieving sons of bitches.
BLOOD ORANGES ARE DELICIOUS AND USED TO MAKE EQUALLY DELICIOUS BEER! KILL THEM WITH FIRE!
When the gophers really piss off Papa Commander, he takes a couple sticks of Juicy Fruit, chews them into a ball and leaves it in their holes. The smell is super strong if you just chew a little and they come running. They can’t digest it, and it basically makes their digestive organs pop internally. I imagine rats are similar in this regard, but you may need some more gum.
I had some pizza like that before.
Guys! I somehow stumbled into a wormhole and ended up in an alternate universe where the Bengals are understanding and forgiving when it comes to the hilariously one-sided lease the county gave them in the 90s. They not only gave up and let something be built next to their Stadium and not three blocks away where they wanted, they unpromptedly waived $30 million in payments from the county that they could’ve used to break the lease early and leave town.
Mike Brown passed on $30,000,000!
https://www.cincinnati.com/story/sports/blogs/daugherty-blog/2018/11/15/daugherty-blog-mike-brown-hue-jackson-bengals-ravens-afc-monkees/2011334002/
I’ll have you know (and you can’t disprove this, much as you’d like to) that I was the only goalie in the three years that our road hockey league existed, to ever post a shutout. I was 10 at the time and it’s been all downhill since.
I finished 3rd in the 5th Grade Spelling Bee. I peaked way too early in life.