Your ” Three Loss-a-Palooza” Sunday Night Football Open Thread

To borrow from that Lightfoot song that everyone knows, in northern Ontario the winds of November come early. I use that to my advantage. Earlier in the spring I noticed a guy talking to himself by the corner store. I was waiting while my wife was playing her ‘special numbers’. I got out of my pickup, grabbed a twenty from my wallet and stretched the old legs. I walked up to him and said, “I think you need this” and handed over the bill. “I’ll buy some smokes”, was all he said.

Later that summer I spotted him at the entrance of the grocery store I frequent. Still babbling to no one in particular, still in the shabbiest of clothes. I called to him, ‘remember me?’. I think he nodded out of habit, maybe a bit annoyed about his external monologue being interrupted. I tossed him another 20. He looked at it and said, ‘yeah, yeah, yeah…’. It was a good sign that things weren’t getting any better for him.

As I say, November comes round and the little itch has turned into a pounding in my head. I drive by the bus station, the liquor store and the 7/11 on a regular basis. Nothing. You cultivate a crop with care and you expect that the harvest will be bountiful. Couple days later I spot him. He’s shivering under a lamp post downtown. “Hey dude, wanna warm up?” He recognizes me, for that I’m grateful. Makes things easier. He gets in the front seat and I tell him to open the glove compartment so he can have the cigarettes that I bought more than a few weeks ago for this occasion. He’s grateful. He smells just as bad as I thought he would. Maybe worse?

We both don’t talk much. He’s trying to get the feeling back in his toes and I’m wondering why the closed beach seems like the right place. “Ah fuck it” I think, and pull out the pistol and fire into his forehead. His head ricochets against the window, shattering it. Warm blood on my face feels really good. Hope I get back to the garage before anyone notices anything.

TO THE GAME!

 

Vikes/Bears:

Will Ursa Major or Ursa Minor show their visage ce soir ? The Hippo that we all know be hopin’ it’s the former. After all, there’s money on the line.

I want candy.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Doktor Zymm

I slept through the game, these things happen. But when I asked Alexa for the score she told me the Eagles beat the Cowboys? Nope, know that’s not right. Congrats Bear types

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook

I’m watching air racing on NBCSN which is surprisingly boring.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Needs more air rifles

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brocky

not gonna lie, I didn’t think the bears would win.

close game against a team with a decent coach. bears still felt relatively untested

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brocky

so, yeah right, you still around?

how much did you lose?

yeah right

180. I might be done with the gambling shit. I’ll let you know.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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WCS

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ballsofsteelandfury

Re: Torrance
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Brick Meathook

HELLS YES

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

I have not heard that. But I don’t think Lady BFC needs another reason not to come with.

Brick Meathook

We can all meet you at LAX between flights.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Safest way to guarantee hang out time

Brick Meathook

Okay! Meet-up at Barney’s Beanery in Terminal 2!

ballsofsteelandfury

I’m in!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Terminal 2 is for hosers

Brick Meathook

Terminals 3, 4, and 6 have the awesome mosaic tunnels!

ballsofsteelandfury

I miss those!

Terminal 1 has the Vegas weekend strippers/ hookers.

Brick Meathook

Ah Terminal 1. The “locals” terminal. Also Imperial Terminal on the south side across the street from El Segundo and yeah right. There’s a museum there now but back in the day it was the Playboy Magazine terminal for flights to Vegas and elsewhere.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

I’m down 54 points with only Travis Kelce left to play. And Yahoo thinks I have a 4% chance of winning.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook

“My snapper and my holder did a hell of a job”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That is also a phrase women use after a great masturbation session.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Kurt [sic] Cousins can suck it.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Senor Weaselo

No, Cris. Shortstops often lay back for the nice hop, third basemen charge.

Brick Meathook

This is good information to know.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

I’d like to see an interception here

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I did not

Senor Weaselo

It only took 3 1/2 quarters for me to finally be mad at starting Mariota (who got hurt in earyl) over Cousins (my QB1 all year so far)!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Senor Weaselo

I have not had to do this. Yet.

King Hippo

FUCKING DIGGS

BrettFavresColonoscopy

As the drunk guys say at Soldier Field,

SUPER BEARS SUPER BOWL

Also, “call my cardiologist!”

...

Let my big dumb saturated fat infused people enjoy the moment

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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...

Maybe now the fatheads who think doinking four field goals in a game isn’t a fluke can drown in their Old Style.

Brick Meathook

Let us all drown in our Old Styles! Please! My friends! Let us drink!

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We’re in Chicago where only misery is possible and to drown is salvation

Dunstan

Wait, you haven’t been drinking this whole time?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

I mean, every kicker has a fucked-up day once in awhile.

Senor Weaselo

I mean, it does take skill.

King Hippo

WOO!!!!!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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...

John Madden understood onomatopoeias unlikes me, Cris Collinsworth, who has a bird brain.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Mr. Ayo

KICK IT!!!

King Hippo

the fuck was THAT playcall??

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

the naked bootleg ALWAYS WORKS

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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hippofant

The part I really don’t get is Collinsworth saying, Trubisky is clearly giving himself up. Trubisky was half falling forward, half sliding sideways. And Collinsworth is always fucking, “I don’t know how they can play defense any more! This new NFL! Receivers have it so much easier nowadays!”

King Hippo

one more first down, Bollo

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Fronkenshteen

I mean there’s stupid…

King Hippo

a little makeup call

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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...

I’ll take it

Fronkenshteen

God. Dammit.

King Hippo

Refs are absolutely turning games with their “showmanship” this week. It’s been awful.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Spanky Datass

“The More You Ho” ™comment image

King Hippo

NONSENSE

Mr. Ayo

BLEE’RGH Gone Wild