Your ” Three Loss-a-Palooza” Sunday Night Football Open Thread

To borrow from that Lightfoot song that everyone knows, in northern Ontario the winds of November come early. I use that to my advantage. Earlier in the spring I noticed a guy talking to himself by the corner store. I was waiting while my wife was playing her ‘special numbers’. I got out of my pickup, grabbed a twenty from my wallet and stretched the old legs. I walked up to him and said, “I think you need this” and handed over the bill. “I’ll buy some smokes”, was all he said.

Later that summer I spotted him at the entrance of the grocery store I frequent. Still babbling to no one in particular, still in the shabbiest of clothes. I called to him, ‘remember me?’. I think he nodded out of habit, maybe a bit annoyed about his external monologue being interrupted. I tossed him another 20. He looked at it and said, ‘yeah, yeah, yeah…’. It was a good sign that things weren’t getting any better for him.

As I say, November comes round and the little itch has turned into a pounding in my head. I drive by the bus station, the liquor store and the 7/11 on a regular basis. Nothing. You cultivate a crop with care and you expect that the harvest will be bountiful. Couple days later I spot him. He’s shivering under a lamp post downtown. “Hey dude, wanna warm up?” He recognizes me, for that I’m grateful. Makes things easier. He gets in the front seat and I tell him to open the glove compartment so he can have the cigarettes that I bought more than a few weeks ago for this occasion. He’s grateful. He smells just as bad as I thought he would. Maybe worse?

We both don’t talk much. He’s trying to get the feeling back in his toes and I’m wondering why the closed beach seems like the right place. “Ah fuck it” I think, and pull out the pistol and fire into his forehead. His head ricochets against the window, shattering it. Warm blood on my face feels really good. Hope I get back to the garage before anyone notices anything.

TO THE GAME!

 

Vikes/Bears:

Will Ursa Major or Ursa Minor show their visage ce soir ? The Hippo that we all know be hopin’ it’s the former. After all, there’s money on the line.

I want candy.

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Fronkenshteen

Looks like I picked the wrong week to trade for Adam Thielen.
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theeWeeBabySeamus

It appears time for me to ironically try some radical waiver deals in FF.
Nine week losing streak, what I got to lose?

Prepare your anuses.

ballsofsteelandfury

Enough about your week in Florida!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Shhhhh…she’s here with me right now. I don’t want her reading over my shoulder.
I just had to check FF scores.

Which was a mistake. Holy shit.

litre_cola

Have you given your Japanese sex doll a name yet?

Spanky Datass

Aw, they made the Scorigami friendly 11 a pedestrian 14. BOO!!1!

litre_cola
Dunstan

I’m surprised not to see Catler on that list, too.

litre_cola

How can the NFL say that there is no collusion when they invite Sanchez and Yates.

litre_cola

This game is very reminiscent of Jaguras Stillers

King Hippo

in a way I REALLY DO NOT LIKE

Mr. Ayo

Gotta love the “Chipper, Larry” audible.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Credit where credit is due, Al did identify an excellent block by Jordan Howard

King Hippo

in between gins, he has the occasional insight

...

Al Michaels’s alcoholism is his only redeeming quality

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I wonder if coach Nagy is a nagger.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

The category was “people that annoy you…”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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...

*smashes through door while drunk*

I will fight ANYONE who beschmirches the integrity of Mitch THE TRUTH Trubisky!

*jumps through broken door and runs into the night*

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Duchess

Fuck I’m getting old… The kids Coach Duchess coached in little league are about to start playing college ball.

Brocky

So… basically its been a decade?

I mean I get “getting old” but my older brothers said something similar.

and i’m like, dude, we’re four years apart. you were watching care bears when I was born.

not sure why I’m making fun of you, just, having hit a milestone birthday this past year, I wanna scream I’m not as oldl as people say.

Duchess

its more of like time flying by. One kid I coached at 7 yrs old and he’s playing for William Mary. One kid I coached, he’s the one I had to over ride the head coach and pull because the kid had a concussion, is now doing college tours.

Dunstan

So now this “hygge” shit is being used to sell home security systems? I feel like that has to be the end of this trend’s 15 minutes.

Brocky

TD boobs.

lets try this again!
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King Hippo

HOT TAEK: The 3 best sides in the NFL are ALL in the NFC.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Wat

King Hippo

Saints, RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAM IT!!, Bearistocrats! I’d put the Chefs 4th right now.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Oh I read that as NFC north and wanted to change your meds

King Hippo

oh yeah, that would be nuts

/by all means, share meds!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

French fries, coleslaw, pickles.

King Hippo

what a read by Dingleberry!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brocky

td boobs!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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rockingdog

found a funny:
What I lack in specificity, I make up for in other stuff.

Wakezilla

You would be surprised how many students write like that, where there is no specificity anywhere, and you need the Da Vinci code to figure out what the shit they’re trying to say.

King Hippo

Fuck me, what a catch!

/crew race on smack was a neat celebtration

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

Anthony Lynn is still making this face

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Did I hear a Trubitsky out of Al?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

(Soldier Field PA system) Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli, will you please pick up a yellow courtesy phone?

King Hippo

The good news is whoever loses this game probably gets the Redacteds in the WC round. Bad news is, one goes to N’Awlins the following week.

King Hippo

I really do think Trubisky is a high functioning ret….special young man – hell of an athlete, though

Dunstan

The fact that Trubinsky has so many Bears passing records is evidence that:
(a) he’s very good;
(b) all passing stats are inflated in today’s NFL;
(c) the Bears have a history of shitty QBs;
(d) some combination?

King Hippo

Erik Kramer and Catler are probably the 2 best QBs of the modern era. So….

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

(for the Bears, ya know)

Duchess

Well it takes two to tango. Brandon Marshall played 45 games for the Bears and has the 7th most recieving TDs in Bears History

Wakezilla

They haven’t really had any good QBs over the past 50 years.

rockingdog

gaaaaaaaaaa!!!!

King Hippo

bees in your ass, too?

King Hippo

CAPPPPPTAINNNNNN DINGLEBERRRRRY!

King Hippo

GUYS!! Imagine this team…but with DIT-KA!

Brocky

I’d rather take nagy with the 85 bears.

King Hippo

It took so much white ethnic genius, to have a bloodthirsty murderers’ row defense that would have invaded Panama if Buddy Ryan asked, and STAY THE FUCK OUT OF THE WAY. //ppl forget that

BrettFavresColonoscopy

So dumber?

Gratliff

Eagles fans legit asking if it’s time to fire Doug Pederson 9 months after winning a Super Bowl, in a division they can win just by winning all remaining division games.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

The common clay of the old East

Dunstan

“Oh, don’t worry,” Eagles fans assured us. “We won’t turn into entitled shits like Patriots fans.”

Gratliff

“I miss buddyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy”
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Brocky

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Tuning in late, if the Bears are up 3-0, I presume Parkey has had 4 attempts?

Game Time Decision

The crowd really cheered when he made the kick

King Hippo

and then he sharted the kickoff out of bounds

Game Time Decision

-Ron Howard voice over

King Hippo

Da BEARS!!

Gratliff

I wish no ill will on the Vikings. I just really want Kirk Cousins to fail spectacularly.

Dunstan

Isn’t that like wishing for the sun to rise tomorrow?

Senor Weaselo

If there was a game for him to have a clunker, I’d want this one because I started Mariota who proceeded to get hurt and now I’m irked.
/Still have Kelce, Hill, and Gurley against tWBS’s Jordan Howard here on out +9.44

King Hippo

this is a special day,anyone who asks nicely for a flag gets one

Dunstan

Is Oprah refereeing?

King Hippo

at halftime, she releases the bees!

Viva La Tabula Raza

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Brocky

feed cuts back from this aaron rodgers boise ad to collinsworth masturbating furiously

Brick Meathook

Speaking of B-movies, the weekend news reporters and anchorpersons on the local Fox channel in Los Angeles are practically cartoon characters.

Brocky

are you sure you didn’t just get really high and watch a recording of last years thanksgiving parade?

Brocky

and there was much rejoicing

Brocky

oh jeeze.

Brocky

is anyone else’s feed going in and out?

King Hippo

you are having a stroke from masturbating too hard

Gratliff

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Senor Weaselo

That’s only very terrifying.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Yeah, but he’ll never wet the bed again.

King Hippo

Bollo de la Verdad!

Brocky

poor chris collinsworth. he doesn’t have a god tier quarterback to knob gobble during the game.

Brocky

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hippofant

Wouldn’t that be 16/16?

Brick Meathook

Ha ha that was great! I love killing hobos too!

King Hippo

let he among us who hath not killed a hobo cast the first stone!

/just kidding, save them stones fer hoboes

Viva La Tabula Raza

Scotchnaut best hope he doesn’t meet up with this guy.
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Brick Meathook

Rutger Hauer: King of the B-Movies

Viva La Tabula Raza

All those B-movie moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain.

Little known fun fact: Technical advisor on this movie? Jim Tomsula.

litre_cola

Umm do we have to call the RCMP on Scotchy?

Viva La Tabula Raza

President Trump would like to offer him a position at HUD in homeless outreach.

Game Time Decision

Kids have started decorating for Christmas. The house looks like a glitter bomb went off. Had almost got rid of if from last year and it’s back.

yeah right

Dear Mr. Hippo,

I love, honor and respect you and wish nothing but the best in all of life’s endeavors except for tonight.

FUCK the Bears.

I basically took my entire betting balance on my account and went all in.

SKOL!

Brocky

Regardless of my own fandom, I really gotta wonder how any rational human being can feel comfortable on the vikings in any circumstance.

much like the washington generals, they don’t when, even when they’re due

yeah right

There are only a handful of times when I’m comfortable with them. Division games mostly and always against Chicago and Detroit.

Teddy's Bridge Over Troubled Water

Skol!

King Hippo

hee hee

Brocky
blaxabbath

Folks calling in to the Cards postgame show are t even mad, just dejected. Want to know if bringing in James Betcher as HC would have meant Bruce Arians would have been bringing up Rosen.

These are the cries of a people who deserve to see their team shipped off to LA.

Brocky

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Viva La Tabula Raza

I know a guy can help out with cleaning up your pickup truck.
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Redshirt

Harvey Kietel’s character in Pulp Fiction not getting a Spin Off is one of the greatest tragedies in 1990s cinema.

yeah right

I forget the name of the movie but his character did show back up in another movie. I think he died trying to murder a girl.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Not the same character, but similar. The movie you reference actually came out before Pulp Fiction.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Point_of_No_Return_(1993_film)

Viva La Tabula Raza

Same can be said for Jesus Quintana (Lebowski) and Sergeant Dignam (The Departed).

Brocky

something about this picture makes it look like tarintino’s character is photoshopped in

Redshirt

If it Hand Solo, then why are the two chicks and Wookie there with him?

ballsofsteelandfury

Watch it. It’s SFW.

Redshirt

I hope so. I don’t think the Mods are asleep at 6:52 PM Central time on a Sunday evening.

Maybe on Thanksgivings evening. They may be in a Turkey Coma then.

Brocky

We have mods?

Redshirt

For the most part I think they’re undercover. DFO Political Officers if you will.

ballsofsteelandfury

It’s a lazy robot that has the eyesight and judgment of a NFL referee.

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