ESPN has been shoving this game down our throats and I don’t blame them one bit. Back in my bartending days, the Monday Nighter was must-see football. I had the dining room shift at the time and myself and the wait staff would shoo prospective diners up to the second floor area and towards the appetizer menu. We’d close up shop and rendezvous at a bar by the name of “TRAMPS”. The joke that I told to my girlfriend at the time (now wife) was that the place was owned by all my ex-girlfriends. That went over well, btw.
The greatest tilt I’ve ever witnessed on the first day of the work week was a 7-3 Niners win over the Giants way back in ’90. You (and makers of listicles) can have your “Jets Miracle Comeback” or your “Montana Squeaks by the Broncos” or your “Rook RB Earl Campbell Runs Wild” or your “Marino Gives The ’85 Bears Their Only Loss”. (that one is a very close second) The intensity of play between San Fran and NY was only matched by the NFC Championship game later on that year. I’ve never seen anything like it since. TO THE GAME!
Chiefs/Rams:
What can I say? KC’s only loss is to the Pats. The Rams sole L was to the Saints. No one has found a way to stop Mahomes to this point and Goff’s at-home QBR rating is a bananacakes-sponsored 126.5. This isn’t a chess game. This is speed-checkers.
King Me!
*revered *expert *lurker *hosebag *gearbox *kumquat lover *boob squeezer
They should do the self-taser test.
He tased himself, bro.
Buddy of mine accidentally tazed himself once when we were at the theater. Once the meme back in the day became a thing, I’d always greet him with a “Don’t taze you, bro!”
“We’re on pace for NINTY-TWO points and over NINE hundred yards !!!” J. Tessitore, MNF
“Pffftt, big deal.” Big 12ish offences, weekly.
You’d think that the singers for a band called Chainsmokers would sound more like Marge’s sisters Patty and Selma.
And all the songs would be about MacGyver. Holy shit. This needs to happen.
The singing blonde has no ass but long legs
and the fashion sense of Stevie Wonder’s asshole
Next year’s FFL team will be called Blind Man’s Rectum.
At least said asshole can play all the instruments itself
With it’s eyes closed.
Song is kinda dumb…and millennials wonder why they get so much flak
Just like every other song of theirs
My kids are making fun of the song and how it sounds like their other stuff.
Sure seemed like lip-synching to me.
I really hope my company expects nothing from me tomorrow (as they usually do) because this game demands some superhuman drinking in the second half.
Folks.
I saw that in the theaters when it first came out. NOT James Bond, despite what they wanted you to think.
Ah, another old. Welcome to hell! Here’s some Metamucil.
HA HA MISSED EXTRA POINT! OH WELL
the power of Los Angeles compels you!
if it goes to OT and you lose the toss…have to kick onside, don’t ya?
Oh man, that is some D-III shit that I would be here for.
“Nailed it!”
– Blair Walsh
Shan’khor giveth, and She taketh away!
So last possession wins?
Yup. And I don’t trust Andy Reid to manage the clock correctly to get ther last possession.
PRAISE SHA’NKLOR
Shan’klor wants in on the fun
Nailed it
fuckin’ hell, Kermit
Goddamn, this game is fun as shit.
This has gotten a lot better without all the flags.
still one heck of a throw
Oh good, a special performance by The Chainsmokers, said nobody ever.
yeah, you should really buy a local, individually crafted one – Andy R.
Too bad Reid wasted two timeouts. He is the definition of clock manager.
And amazingly enough it didn’t really affect anything.
Aaron Donald is good at the defensing.
made Mahomes-y mad though
Aaron Donald is not of this earth.
This game is incredibly entertaining. Too bad it will be a Brady Brees Superb Owl and the announcer fellatio will be incredible.
hooray, 2nd Superb Owl in a row I will boycott
A defensing score??
Assume dog-walking Lee jeans wearing dude doesn’t stop and collect the dog shit.
Cartman in real life?
10 BLEERGHs and up 1 with the ball (they get it to start Q3 too, right?)
Smoothies, AND Senor gets to watch good footballing? Okay!
I mean, I was happy they won when I was there, but Rangers… Tanking, you’re doing it wrong
they’ve speeded Buster up
Got to admit this is a pretty fucking cool LA scene tonight.
I love the Olympic flame burning over the east pergola. (Hosted Olympics 1932 and 1984)
And 2028! (I know it’s cool to shit on the Olympics, but I’m a huge fan, especially in person)
there will be no life on the planet by then, silly
At the least not in California, because it’ll be scorched off.
That’s not true, there will be plenty of life in the oceans that cover the entire planet.
Uhh… about that…
I guess if you count mutated plastic eating plankton feeding on the Great Pacific Trash Vortex as “life,” you’re right.
THE MISSED EXTRA POINT!
you called it, dude
Uhh was Eric Fisher blocking TWO Rams at once?
KHUNTDOWN
Buster! NO!!
Yuge turnover. RAMMMIT has dominated but could go in to halftime down 1.
wait, John Goodman ain’t fat no more? Cancer or AIDS?
Cocaine.
Speed, he had a few down years.
GIVE ME THE BOOGER ANGLE.
Are you still talking about Eva Green?
God. Damn. Hat tip to you sir. Get a glass of bourbon and take the night off.
Currently drinking Stella Artois (IT WAS ON SALE, OK?) and I have work* to do, but thanks anyway.
*moar drinking
Its true, never meet your heroes. Stella Artois is never redeemable. You were so much better just a few minutes ago.
You sound like every woman I’ve ever disappointed sexually, which is all of them.
Was that a penalty?
Does it become a penalty because it was Suh?
Just got stoned and went to the fridge to fetch my left over pizza from last night. I thought that I had 3 pieces left but I actually have 4. The amount of happiness I got from this is far, far more than it should be.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h4UqMyldS7Q
Imagine how fun this game would be if the refs allowed it to get any rhythm
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CZkjeJKBI0M
Oh Eva Green, my face is so cold as I’m sure your thighs are. Let’s work out a deal.
BLEERGH demands another offering
Good to see that “Officials: Make Yourself Teh Star!” week didn’t end on Sunday
Andy Reid is gonna have an aneurysm if the Chiefs take any more penalties. Unless the cholesterol finally gets to him first.
He’ll probably have a flaneurysm.
I love the L.A. Coliseum. Opened in 1923. That’s a real stadium, folks, even if all us Angelenos are completely fake.
There Will Be Quartered Backing
Pls no. Take pity on Sharkbait
They give tWBS a 6% chance that Hill, Kelce, and Gurley combine for less than 0.94 points from here on out.
/Watch they do just that now.
Democrats should upon a Benghazi style investigation into Ivanka’s emails. Drag in every single individual and grill them on their role in Trump-Russia-UAE-Saudi Arabia-China-Qatar-Israel. And act all apologetic like, “look, we just need to do this because of the records act. So please just answer these simple questions honestly and we’ll all be on our way.”
Then literally (not figuratively) crucify anyone who isn’t completely forthcoming and truthful.
HBO would pay out the ass to televise them crucifixions!
And it would be a lot more arousing than “Real Sex” ever was.
Well that’s what you get for having Bryant Gumbel host it.
Crucifixion’s a dawdle. At least it gets you out in the fresh air. Better than being stabbed, anyway.
Why not literally? I think Gowdy tried to introduce legislation for that very thing.
Twitter wants me to follow Ross Douthat lol
Only if he tweets only stories about William F. Buckley definitely not grooming him during a skinny dipping excursion.
Man, have you seen the Ralph Douthat account that combines screenshots of Ralph Wiggum with lines from Douthat’s columns? It is art, man.
https://twitter.com/ralphdouthat?lang=en
I don’t think it has tweetes recently but yeah, it’s so good
Ugh. This pisses me off. Reid is gonna win this challenge, even though the cornerback already had his hands all over the receiver when the ball left Goff’s hand.
And the ears of corn will score on the next play anyway.
“DON’T YOU BRING UP VEGETABLES!” — Andy Reid