Your “Rivalry Weekend Continues Apace” Saturday Evening Open Thread

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xyOXW7UQV00

They were a lot more badass before Axl evolved into Kathleen Turner.


Tomorrow’s matchups:

CBS EARLY

 Anchorage
 Fairbanks
 Honolulu
█     New England @ NY Jets – Ian Eagle, Dan Fouts

█     Cleveland @ Cincinnati – Kevin Harlan, Rich Gannon

█     Jacksonville @ Buffalo – Spero Dedes, Adam Archuleta

█     Oakland @ Baltimore – Andrew Catalon, James Lofton

█     NO GAME due to local home game on FOX

  • Forgive an amateur, but all these games look like dogshit.

———————————————

CBS LATE

 Anchorage
 Fairbanks
 Honolulu
█     Pittsburgh @ Denver – Jim Nantz, Tony Romo

█     Miami @ Indianapolis – Greg Gumbel, Trent Green, Bruce Arians

———————————————

FOX SINGLE

 Anchorage
 Fairbanks
 Honolulu
█     Seattle @ Carolina – Kevin Burkhardt, Charles Davis

█     NY Giants @ Philadelphia – Thom Brennaman, Chris Spielman

█     San Francisco @ Tampa Bay – Kenny Albert, Ronde Barber

█     Arizona @ LA Chargers (LATE) – Chris Myers, Daryl Johnston

  • Why does North Dakota get punished wi– Oh, right.

                                     Coverage maps courtesy 506sports.com


Tonight’s sports:

  • NHL:
    • Flyers at Leafs – 7:00PM | CBC
    • Bruins at Habs – 7:00PM | Sportsnet
    • Jets at Blues – 7:00PM | City / Sportsnet360
    • Canucks at Kings – 10:00PM | CBC
  • NCAA:
    • South Carolina at Clemson – 7:00PM | ESPN / TSN3
    • Kentucky at Louisville – 7:00PM | ESPN2 / TSN5
    • San Jose State at Fresno State – 7:00PM | ESPNU
    • Kansas State at Iowa State – 7:00PM | FS1
    • Notre Dame at Southern California – 8:00PM | ABC / TSN4
    • Oklahoma State at TCU – 8:00PM | FOX
    • BYU at Utah – 10:00PM | FS1
    • Utah State at Boise State – 10:15PM | ESPN (?) / TSN3
    • Hawaii at San Diego State – 10:30PM | ESPNU

Are you out of turkey yet? If not, PUT THAT ON A SHINGLE, MISTER!

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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Brocky

I miss her. She needs to make a comeback. Preferably in nude scenes

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Brocky

I wanna hire a plane that drops leaflets reminding people that brian Kelly killed a kid

Brocky

So despite the fact I always assumed it was to make wheelchair bound grandma happy when she came home from the nursing home for Christmas dinner, my dad has insisted on setting up our traditional display of Christmas figurine, despite us being in a new house and grandma being no longer with us

In years past I have always attempted to add my own personal touch:
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This year I’m thinking something else:
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theeWeeBabySeamus

Sweetness!!!!!!

Redshirt

Oh, YEEEEAAAHHHH! I can DIG IT!

ballsofsteelandfury

Three great things about Tucson:
1- Sabino Canyon
2- Arizona-Sonora Desert Museum and environs
3- Pima County Air & Space Museum

theeWeeBabySeamus

4. Nogales is 100km to the south and smells better.

ballsofsteelandfury

That reminds me, Goddess 3…

WCS

…and thus, the Fourth Seal of Revelation was opened.

Senor Weaselo

I thought that was opened a long time ago!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yeah, we’ll get going on that soon.

Unsurprised

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Senor Weaselo

Look at Mr. Fancypants using the metric system. IS 62 MILES NOT ENOUGH FOR YOU?

theeWeeBabySeamus
ballsofsteelandfury

Fun fact: The highway between Tucson and Nogales is the only one in the United States with metric distances shown on the road signs.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yep. That’s why I remembered.
Drove that stretch way too many times to count.

blaxabbath

about home from Ua losing at home to ASU, blowing a 20pt 4th quarter lead. Man, Tucson seriously sucks. I don’t recommend anyone go there and, if you must, keep the staynas shirt as possible and just try to use your free time there to enjoy the nature or outdoor activities.

ballsofsteelandfury

The Catalina mountains are beautiful…

WCS

That fourth quarter was the definition of bananacakes.

blaxabbath

Post game takes are: Players get a B, Coaches get an F.

I predicted Arizona would enter a decade-long dark age after employing Ann Weaver Hart as President. I am thinking I was dead right.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Wednesday night I went here and a three meat platter with three sides and cornbread. I’m very anal about BBQ and loathe to give Philly any credit for anything but just go here: https://sweetlucys.com/

My steak place is Leo’s, for what it is worth. I tried Pat’s after about 10 years of not having it and in addition to not finding parking for 20 minutes, it was $11 of disappointment.

Then again I’m sick of Yelp, and think it’s for assholes.

Unsurprised

I’m very anal

So we’re not doing ‘Phrasing’ anymore?

Redshirt

Two Quick Funny Secret Service Stories:

My family was in DC in 2005 on vacation and my dad was taking pictures of all the buildings near the Capital. While zoomed in he stumbled up a sharpshooter on a roof who had complete eye contact to him with his rife in the low ready position. My dad without missing a beat smiled and waved. The sharpshooter didn’t wave back.

Later that day, we went to the Pentagon parking lot. My mom took a picture when all of a sudden a black car pulled up. A guy in a suit approached our car and asked where we were from and asked if we can delete the picture and if we couldn’t he would have to take the camera for security reasons. We complied but asked why, and he use told us why. We were taking a picture of the exact place where the plane crashed into the Pentagon on September 11, 2001.

And that the story of how my parents pissed off the Secret Service twice in the same afternoon.

blaxabbath

Well I’m pissed at them that Trump is still standing so the Secret Service can fuck the fuck off.

Redshirt

You can’t choose your President. They don’t see Democrat or Republican; they see someone they have to protect. If anything its a comforting note to all future Presidents and their families. If they’ll protect the Trumps, they’ll protect anyone.

blaxabbath

Yeah…I’m sure Hillary and Obama have no fear of Trump putting his goons into the SS and then issuing an Order 66.

Redshirt

…that’s a thought that’s gonna fester.

Horatio Cornblower

In case anyone wonders what makeitsnow has been up to…
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theeWeeBabySeamus

And all this time I thought he was just drunk.

Horatio Cornblower

Seamus, would a sober person have posted that?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Tough but fair.

ballsofsteelandfury

Alternative college football playoff proposal:

8 team playoff. 10 conference champions qualify. Lowest- ranked conference Champions play each other for the right to join 8 team bracket.

No independents. Fuck Notre Dame. If they want in, they can join a conference.

rockingdog

TOSH.0 has some thoughts…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=euOW1at3D88

ballsofsteelandfury

YES!

Horatio Cornblower

Does Tosh really make more than Saban?

Because that would be pretty damn impressive.

WCS

He might. He was Comedy Central’s number one for four or five years.

Brick Meathook

No way. Basic cable is still a low budget operation. Jon Stewart didn’t make much and he was 10X bigger than Tosh.

Unsurprised

I’m fine with Fuck Notre Dame regardless of the rest of any suggestion.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Wait Claude Lemieux’s kid is on the Jets and he’s a little chode just like the old man?

rockingdog

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Sharkbait

Ugh. Fuck him.

Redshirt

You have to feel for the poor souls who work in the White House. I mean the one or two out of the 300 that aren’t evil.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IxdAZwcqGIk

WCS

I said this to my dad maybe a year ago:

Imagine your lifelong dream is to be a Secret Service agent. You work hard in school, join the military, get discharged, and apply for the agency. You work ever harder to get through the academy, and after graduation, your first assignment is to protect this chucklehead. I’d ask for a refund.

Redshirt

Yes, feel for those Secret Service agents. If anyone takes a bullet for him, they shouldn’t just get a free pass to Heaven, they should get a hug and a formal apology from God Himself.

Thankfully if “First Kid” taught me anything is that you don’t start with protecting the president.

Unsurprised

Sure, there are lifers who were there before him and will be there after him, but I see job postings for exempted positions in his office every day. Fuck those people sideways. They are scum. Their boss is scum.

Redshirt

Right now the CFB Playoff Committee is praying that USC bails them out of them having to choose between settlers who tried to steal lands from wrongfully misplaced Native Americans after a forced migration from the homes of their ancestors or nuts grown on the tree species Aesculus glabra that causes gastrointestinal disturbances to the cattle or humans who ingest them.

Horatio Cornblower

OK, so I got Oklahoma out of that…

yeah right

Took eldest right and Eldest granddaughter to the movies today then dinner at Grimaldi’s.
Had a pizza called the Brooklyn Bridge that had housemade Italian sausage, roasted red peppers and housemade ricotta cheese.

Mother.
Fucker.

That thing was delicious.

Senor Weaselo

Fun fact: The family sold Grimaldi’s and the name, but own the pizzeria next door, so if you have to do that in Brooklyn, go there. You might also get a pie within 3 hours.

herodotus450

Hot Taek: college football should go back to their natural bowl allegiances, and then a national championship game is determined after they’re all played. It’s like an infinite team playoff but with no extra games.

ballsofsteelandfury

Counter offer:

16 team playoff. Each conference champion gets in. 6 at- large berths.

herodotus450

Counter-counter offer: Those 16 teams, more or less, would play in the major bowl games. The two best teams would rise above the rest, and if not we all still get to complain about college football.

litre_cola

When do they get to play the NFL’s worst team in Wichita?

WCS

Leave the Raiders out of this.

ballsofsteelandfury

Is Vegas the new Wichita?

Horatio Cornblower

The Raiders would run train on Alabama and I would absolutely pay to watch it.

Redshirt

Cincinnati Bearcats vs. Cincinnati Bengals – Loser Leaves Town!

ballsofsteelandfury

Collaborating proposal:

Existing bowls decide whether to permanently host a playoff game or create a matchup of their choice.

Horatio Cornblower

Counter-counter-counter offer.

64 teams, 5 week tournament from now until the second week in January. We can stop pretending that any of these kids are taking their own finals anyway.

Also, UConn still won’t get in.

ballsofsteelandfury

As long as we can keep Notre Dame also out, i’m in.

Redshirt

You do have to keep the bowl games so even teams who go 6-6, 7-5, 8-4 get to experience a bowl game and the perks and experience that comes with it. That’s the one good thing about College Football over March Madness; 30 of the teams’ seniors gets to walk of the field for the last time as a winner instead of a loser.

ballsofsteelandfury

Agreed. Definitely keep the bowls.

blaxabbath

There are no winners when the final whistle blows at the St Petersburg Bowl.

ballsofsteelandfury

The strippers?

Redshirt

Are you saying the AAC champion is equal to the SEC champion?

ballsofsteelandfury

No, but i’m saying if the champion of a conference in FBS can’t at least PLAY for a championship, they should move the whole conference to FCS.

Sharkbait
ballsofsteelandfury

Oooooooh, bourbon!

herodotus450

Ice Take: 3 on 3 overtime should not stop until the first whistle after 5 minutes.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Why does a pack of razors need to be resealable?
Do they get stale or something?

Come on Gillette!!!!!!

herodotus450

I bought a package of underwear da other day; came in a resealable plastic bag.

yeah right

You’re supposed to keep the plastic bag in the trunk of your car.

Obviously.

theeWeeBabySeamus

My underwear need to go in a resealable bag AFTER I wear them.

Sharkbait

Binging all the Christmas Bob’s Burgers. The ginger bread house completion episode may be the best one.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I’m partial to Bobcat Goldthwait in the candy cane truck.

rockingdog

bang your ass

litre_cola

Patrick Laine has 5 goals tonight. He has taken 5 shots.

Horatio Cornblower

is that good?

litre_cola

His fancy stats are impressive.

Sharkbait

He’s good.

Senor Weaselo

“Who knew taking shots would be a good thing?” -Rangers offense, especially yesterday

Sharkbait

That game was so infuriating

Horatio Cornblower

“Who knew taking shots would be a bad thing?”-Aaron Hernandez

litre_cola

“Who knew taking shots would be a bad thing?” – J. Blackmon

yeah right

“Who knew taking shots would be a bad thing.”

K. Cobain

litre_cola

“Who knew taking shots would be a bad thing?” – M. Lewinski

yeah right

“Who knew taking shots would be a bad idea?”

J. Joplin

Horatio Cornblower

Just had to chose between two beers, so I went from the one with the lower alcohol first.

8.5 vs. 8.6

Here are tonight’s contenders:

CT Valley Brewing’s Midnight Citycomment image
&
Captain Lawrence’s Galactic Fogcomment image

BrettFavresColonoscopy

How do they compare to that Monkish I sent you?

Horatio Cornblower

Not well. That was outstanding.

The last one died a hero on Thanksgiving.

Horatio Cornblower

Mind you, the Galactic Fog is good, (haven’t tried the other yet), but the Monkish is just that good.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I have one left and need to find a time to get back down to that tap room. Stupid LA traffic and stupid work makes that easier said than done.

Horatio Cornblower

If I lived in LA they would have a restraining order against me.

yeah right

Did you try the Black Kisses sour? That sounded amazing.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I just watched an episode of Frasier where the premise was that he fell in love with Rita Wilson and didn’t realize she looked exactly like his dead mom. Ask me anything.

litre_cola

Why would he want to bang his dead mom?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Oedipal complex

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Also revenge against Tom Hanks for Joe vs the Volcano

Brocky

Did you ever show your grandma the simpson episode with the terrwelliger brothers to see if she realized the obvious omage to fraiser.

Because I did, vutbshebdidnt

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I did not, because my grandma is a selfish old bag.

But I think she’d appreciate any tribute to Frasier.

Horatio Cornblower

Wait, why am I sober?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Lack of effort?

Horatio Cornblower

Remedying that now.

Sharkbait

Good question.

/Pours bourbon

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Last night I did the rye, rye, beer, beer, bourbon, IPA, bourbon, imperial stout, bourbon, IPA mix that led to my stomach hating me all day today.

Horatio Cornblower

Good lord, man.

Brocky

Okay, dont want to get ahead of myself, but is there any way ND misses the playoffs with 1 loss?

Michigan obviously is out, georgia is probs gonna lose to bama next week. Of oklahoma beats Texas they should leapfrog Nd but who else?

herodotus450

Maybe if they lose big and their starting qb gets hurt.

Horatio Cornblower

Bama #1, Clemson #2, God help me but tOSU #3.

It should be Oklahoma in your scenario, but I can’t see even a program with the Sooner’s history getting past the ratings ND would bring.

Brocky

A two loss nd team wont get in over a 1 loss big 12 champ.

I didnt even think about a big 10 team. OSU beats northwestern they should be higher than nd

herodotus450

ND can only end with one loss though

Horatio Cornblower

Exactly.

Brick Meathook

THAT’S GOOD TACKLING
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Horatio Cornblower

Pictured Every guy who ever watched an MMA tournament and then got in a bar fight.

Petronel

Hatred of mimes is an interspecies phenomenon, apparently.

litre_cola

Dear Lord I love watching Notre Dame struggle.

Horatio Cornblower

High winds?

Unsurprised

Killer

Horatio Cornblower

UConn lost 57-7 today, to the powerhouse Temple program. Coach Edsall got a $2,000 bonus, something he gets every game when UConn converts more 3rd downs than the other team. UConn converted 10 of 19, Temple 3 of 8.

If, by the end of the week, UConn’s AD isn’t fired into the sun for negotiating that contract, I’m gonna need some of you to provide me an alibi, or at least a whole lot of lime, a couple of used carpets and maybe some earth-moving equipment.

Gratliff

“Amateurs.” – The entire Philadelphia Flyers organization

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Do you have to buy a dog first?

Horatio Cornblower

I have one of those already. What I need is a shitload of gold coins.

Senor Weaselo

You never wrote it in your calendar, therefore you were never there.
/Because as we all know, fuck Brett Kavanaugh

Senor Weaselo

Look at it this way, they set some records!

Sharkbait

Evening. Just finished the turkey stock. 22lb bird made about 2 gallons of stock. Anyone want some??

herodotus450

Anyong to you too.

Sharkbait

Apparently my edit wasn’t fast enough.

herodotus450

Also I think edits aren’t seen to others unless/until they refresh.

litre_cola

This is true.

Senor Weaselo

In case you’re wondering, my college sealed off the Danny DeVito shrine. Everyone is upset, including me, who couldn’t look for it in the VA building last weekend.

WCS

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Unsurprised

Something something play with my balls
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tomsellecksmoustache

God, I’d love to have her paddle my balls and laugh about it.

theeWeeBabySeamus

9/10…would let her paddle me.

herodotus450

Trojans!? Cocks!?

herodotus450

Well hell, even if they both win that probably doesn’t change the playoff picture.

Horatio Cornblower

Uh-oh. Mike Ditka’s all pork sausage-n’-ribs diet may have caught up with him

https://www.freep.com/story/sports/nfl/2018/11/24/mike-ditka-hospitalized-after-suffering-heart-attack/2100512002/

Unsurprised

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Not exactly going to shed tears when that asshole drops

tomsellecksmoustache

No one has wanted the Irish to lose this much since Oliver Cromwell.

Unsurprised

Yeah, well …

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Booth review: joke stands as funny

Unsurprised

I am a ninja

Senor Weaselo

JV BLEERGH is working hard in Louisville tonight.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Re: Litre and his ibuprofen, I just popped 600mg to start catching up

Brocky

I would pretend to stop hating USC if they beat notre dame, but honestly I’ve never hated them.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Go ‘Cocks.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Meh. Looks like the ‘Cocks are going down.

WCS

Up and down.comment image

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Correct me if I’m wrong, but Seattle/Carolina seems like the only potentially worthwhile tilt to watch.

Fronkenshteen

Whichever one I’m betting will do.

Brocky

Always fun to see two wild cards clash!!!

I really hope the Vikings dont make the playoffs

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Evening. O’Hare isn’t as bad as I’d expected tonight.

WCS

Someone let Horatio know that UConn just set the worst single-season defense in NCAA history, allowing more yards and points-per-game than anyone. Hey, at least basketball is underway…. oh, right..

Horatio Cornblower

I am well aware of UConn’s record setting performance, and I am actively bombarding my alma mater with suggestions that they drop football.

Fronkenshteen

Soccer dummies are dumb.

Gratliff

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Game Time Decision

Damn I want to turn into the Indy vs Mia just to hear Mr Green. But prob won’t get that game

Redshirt

https://www.freep.com/

Reading Michigan’s press reaction to OSU-UM is beautiful. The New England and Pittsburgh flavors are pretty damn good but Michigan Schadenfreude is my favorite flavor by far.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Just woke up from what felt like a coma.
Time to eat moar leftovers.

Gratliff

4-0 Leafs 11 minutes in

Gratliff

Andreas Johhnson has a hat trick already. Fortunately, Marleau broke up the natural hatty.

litre_cola

It is horrible up here with the Leafs good. Was superb all the years they were a punching bag.

Game Time Decision

^^^^this. God damn do I hate the Leafs

Gratliff

It may not be enough to just fire Dave Hakstol. I’m thinking crucifixion may be more fitting.

Gratliff

Flyers on pace for 20 goals against. A respectable average for most Flyera goaltenders

Redshirt

Dumb Rutgers. In 3rd and 4th down, you move the chains.

Spanky Datass

The CBS early map has The Baker Mayfield Effect.
The FOX map is just bananacakes and I don’t want to think about it.

ballsofsteelandfury

I’ve been thinking about the Fox map for five minutes and not only do I still not understand it, I’ve got a headache.

Senor Weaselo

Sparty and Rutgers aren’t… good, are they.

Redshirt

MSU isn’t good and this is Rutgers bowl game so they’re playing above their attributes.