Huzzah, booze and leftovers! And for the sporting day beginning at 10 EST like God intended (though I still may bitch a little re the lack of a 7:30 option).
West Ham and Man City are your NBCSN option, and that should be a right bloodbath. Fortunately, you can watch Everton hosting Cardiff on NBC Gold instead! The Break featured lots of glowing press for F Richarlison (one name, Brasil DUH) and a PSG flirtation with DM extraordinaire Idrissa Gana. PSG can fuck right off.
Watford and the Shite are also streaming, as well as Manure v. Palace. Very strange for BOTH red-clad arsehole sides to be off the airwaves in the same weekend. But there you go, somebody decided it’s time to market NBC Gold more aggressively!
Spurs and Chelsea are your dynamite spotlight dance, as the jockeying for Champions League positioning begins in earnest. Methinks Spurs will deny history and put this one away, though I doubt I will bet on it.
Arsenal visit the Cherries for an intriguing early Sunday fixture (7:30, NBCSN). Assuming Bournemouth are serious re crashing the Top 6, this is one they need to lock down. Wolves take on Huddersfield Town next (10:30, NBCSN) and…meh.
What of #HAILGAMBLOR? Hippo has $70 each on Fulham (at home to Saints, surely they will stop sucking hind teat eventually?) and League 2 talisman Bury. MOAR will surely ensue as the day unfolds.
Atleti and Barca play Saturday afternoon, to highlight the continental slate (2:45, BeIn). I have no idea whether Messi will return for this or not. Either way, expect a scoreless draw.
Our Young Boys get 7th position (out of 10, Switzerland ain’t that big) Lugano at 1p Saturday. Time to extract some vengeance for Champions League frustration? Or just fanny about for potential Sugar Daddies? WE SHALL SEE.
The last full JV Saturday has a lot to live up to, after a Blizzard-y Apple Cup and Bananacakes OU/WVU tilt Friday night.
Michigan at Ohio State (Noon, Fox)
I’m glad I won’t be watching this one, as I must keep my eyes on the ACCN and screaming into the void. tOSU a 5-point home dog? Hmmmm.
Florida at Florida State (Noon, ABC)
It’s up to the Gators to break the Semenholes’ bowl streak (and their own rivalry slump to boot). Methinks they will.
Syracuse at Boston College (Noon, ESPN)
Battle for distant 2nd place in the Atlantic Division! But could be a good game, these sides are certainly much better than they showed against Notre Dame. Wait, that’s right, ND ducked BC this season. Consarnit.
Purdue at Indiana (Noon, ESPN2)
This will be fun, unfriendly rivals with each needing to win to get a Weedwhacker-ish Bowl bid. They both score a-plenty.
Auburn at Alabama (3:30, CBS)
Throw out the rankings and records, it’s the Iron Bowl, y’all. Nah, just kidding. Roll Damn Tide will beat Aubie like they owe ’em moneys.
Arizona State at Arizona (3:30, FS1)
Territorial Cup? Lots of hatred, but unsexy name. Bear Down FOAR Midterms needs the win for post-season qualification, Sparky just playing for hate.
Tennessee at Vanderbilt (4:00, SECN)
Always fun to see how the ‘Dores manage to cock things up. And cock things up they surely will. Like Purdue/IU, both teams seeking magic win #6.
South Carolina at Clemson (7:00, ESPN)
No, they’s no reason for hope here. Chickens will probably keep it within 4 or 5 TDs, which is sommet I can’t say for Pitt next weekend.
Kansas State at Iowa State (7:00, FS1)
Possibly the last regular season match for Unded Bill Snyder, which is a shame. I find their games more interesting than is rational, and hope they win and go bowling somewhere. Cornpone State is a side I just can’t figure out at all.
LSU at Texas A&M (7:30, SECN)
Bet on the Bayou Bengals. HEAVILY. Surprising this gets such tertiary coverage, though.
BYU at Utah (10:00, FS1)
The battle of Teams Big Love, Original Recipe v. Secular. Elder Price might cheat with an actual Coke for this fine tweaker finale.
On dad duty all day today. How much Motrin is too much Motrin?
Looks like a lethal dose is about 150 pills or 180 mg/lb.
Well then looks like Decilitre and i will be fine! Hell maybe chase itwitha tylenol back.
Laval beat Western in the Vanier ( Canadian University football championship trophy ).
They always win. Them French folk love them le gridiron out there.
Yep. And I hate Western so this makes me happy
/cuz they always beat my school in football
I told my cousin who is a gambling Michigan fan, “Well it’s not all bad, you took the over right?”
They have not responded in 5 hours.
Drank too much “Number 1 Defense” kool aid probably.
“You really can’t blame Auburn for trying something.”
Yeah, but that?!
Very Brownsian.
“After reviewing the play, there is no targeting. Now can I please have my puppy back?”
YOU GET A TARGETING! AND YOU GET A TARGETING!
…and we just had an Auburn player killed.
But I thought Alabama was comfortable ahead. Why did Saban order the hit?
Because he can.
“Those two guys are 550 pounds, 225 apiece.”
Uh…
UNC edumacation?
I see we had some fistacuffs at the end of U*NC-Wolven Sort!
Accidentally flipped onto Rutgers-Sparty. Punt hit off Rutgers player that Sparty recovered. Yeah, that sounds about right.
Woe is me, I can’t decide whether to make Judge Jeff Juedy jokes or Doug Juedy jokes
Aquaman!
So, has Harbaugh been fired yet?
They’re going to do a Prince and the Pauper-scenario and secretly trade him with John for a season.
Is that the one where they put a walnut under the guy’s bed, or was it a dragon? I am very high right now. Do you hear that? (loud banging noises, like a hammer pounding sheet metal ductwork) That’s my fucking skull, man! I’m wasted! Ha ha ha! What was the question?
And that looks like the end of the traditional one-quarter’s worth of competitiveness in an Alabama game.
I saw a preview for something called “Robbie the Reindeer”, so I checked it out on my onscreen Cable Guide. Now its my new Life Quest to hunt down all copies, physically and electronic, of this thing and destroy them so they cannot harm anyone else.
“Star Wars: Holiday Special” and “Epic Movie”, congratulations! You’re off the hook!
Hey, the Star Wars Holiday Special gave us the origin of Boba Fett!
Auburn ties it up at 7 in the Fe Bowl.
(looks at the time; looks down) Oh, great. Now I have to call my doctor.
I just watched my very first three minutes of 2 Broke Girls. The two best things about it don’t outweigh the 27 worst things.
hey now, it’s FOUR best things
Oh are you watching in Double-Vision (where drunk)?
Watch on mute. Focus on Kat Denning’s huge tracts of land.
Hot taek request: would bama still make the playoff is they lost this week and next week?
The Committee would try to make it happen but it would require a lot of upsets to happen
“I think we all can agree that two Alabama losses are equal to any other team’s win. So really Alabama is 12-0. That’s why we put them #1.”
no, but they won’t lose either (they’d get in with UGA loss ONLY)
That Michigan team is shell shocked. They did not see this coming.
If Ohio State beats NW big in the Big 10 Title game, they have an argument for making the playoffs. If not, they should finish #5 or #6. If they don’t like it, next time don’t get kicked in your buckeyes by an unranked Purdue team.
A live look at Michigan’s playoff chances:
I left NC State’s Gallaspy on my bench. smgdh.
even at our worst…we GOT THOSE PRICKS
/they tried starting a fight at the end
//had I taken the tix I was offered, I’d be fightin!
Osu scored more points (although that inclueds a punt return) against the number 1 (whatever that means) defense than wvu or Oklahoma did yesterday against each other.
Okay. Rest the stars. Put in the Seniors and Walk Ons.
The Purdue game was just a false flag attack to lull michigan into a false sense of security.
I think I see Redshirt’s boner from my window.
The dude does love to share…
I’d put a cover on the ferns and the car. One more score and I may lose control.
Incoming score…
…aww
Ohio State is now in “Let Impress the Committee Mode”.
I will be extremely annoyed if y’all get in over OU. Not that Bama wouldn’t beat you both by 20+
They said the same thing in ’14.
they can has QB now
My team beat Alabama once. Let me enjoy that moment.
Even if the Bengals held on to beat Pittsburgh 16-15 in That Wild Card Game, it would’ve still been my #2 greatest sports moment after beating ‘Bama.
have I mentioned that I hate Carolina?
and if’n you don’t, GO FUCK YOURSELF
Announcer not even attempting to sound surprised at the OSU INT this time.
…or touchdowns.
Best Internet Handle You’ve Seen Over The Years:
“Over The Dwayne Bowe” does it for me.
I still crack up reflexively at “Dagotron” with the Italian transformers symbol. But then again, I did grow up in the sticks.
Way to swallow your whistles on that PI ACC officiating crew.
I only have one alcohol left, tis tragic
Props to Florida’s coach. Stopped the interview when he saw that his team was going to celebrate a blowout on the opponent midfield logo.
Probably going to watch the Iron Bowl even though I kinda hate the SEC and Bama in particular because they’re heavily recruiting students from greater Chicagoland who bring home that obnoxious fandom.
I also despise the broadcast team because you can tell how much they think the new teams in the conference don’t belong there even though most have held their own.
Lee Carvallo: The traditional team to lose their starting quarterback in an osu-mich game is the winning team
I moneyline bet Wake Forest at +10.5, winning 59-7 😀
Michigan QB is down and in pain.
It it bad that I’m a little sad that Ditka’s heart attack didn’t kill him?
Its it bad to be surprised it didn’t?
Yes. You should be a lot sad
“That was close. So glad that ‘aneurysm in 2019’ is still in play.”
-Hippo
not painful enough
I feel a disturbance in the force, and hear tears through the walls. Is Michigan doing a bad?
Yeah, but Ohio State can screw it up.
Forget about Michigan-I think you’ve got mice.
I haven’t seen Harbaugh in a while. Has he been fired yet?
God, am I ever angry. AND DRUNK.
Hippo today was great thus far! I haven’t had a good Saturday in 2 months!
Christ, that wasn’t obvs enough, shitasses
I guess at least I will make money on this anal leakage
Has Harbaugh ever won a big time, “I need to win this” game?
NOPE
U*NC takes the lead over NC State.
The cyst in Meyer’s brain that he keeps having drained is what the rest of us call our “conscience.”
“Con Science? I’m very interested. Do you have anything that I can subscribe to?”
-John Calipari
Well, he needs to install a pump or something so he can focus on the game!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k3gUVvg2eQU
Michigan imploding faster than Building 7
“Building 7 was always a front-running son of a bitch. No one ever talks about me!”
-Building 6
“Whatevs, bitches.”