Your [checks with Brick] “Mid-Morning, Maybe Early Afternoon, Late Autumn-ish, at the very least” Open Thread Featuring Football

Can we just all agree to disagree and pretend as though it wasn’t important yet silently grumble to ourselves about ‘that guy’? It’s The Passive-Aggressive Way! Let’s wander once more into the britches.

TO THE GAMES!

Jets/Titans:

Tenny had plans to ram the ball right down its opponents throats all year long but then Henry did his very best Trent Richardson and everything went kablooey. Well, at least the signing of rb Lewis saved the running game… What’s that? He’s averaging even less per rush than Henry? Oof! The Titans would be wise to attack the Jets secondary-they’ve given up a total of 441 yards to wr’s the last two game. As of this scribbling Bowles hasn’t stated who his lousy qb is for this tilt.

Chiefs/Raiders:

Nine wins vs. nine losses. The respective records will tell you who gonna be walking away with this by halftime. “But Wait!”, RTD screeches. “These AFC West games are always close because this is still the 80’s and 90’s in my mind!” Oh Rikki, I just wish you would lose that number. As the tale of the game tape piles up, Mr. Mahomes has tossed 4 int’s and been sacked 10 times in the last four games. I can’t help thinking he’ll get well against pre-Vegas though.

Vikes/Pats:

Minny’s run D has tightened up quite a bit in the last few weeks to the point that they are 6th-best on a per rush basis. That’s the good news. The bad news is that they still have to deal with New England’s passing game and the refs. Shutter-downer corner Rhodes is a game-timer but I never feel good about cb’s and wr’s with hammy issues and late decisions. Never seems to work out in the player’s favour.

Niners/Seahawks:

These fellers are the new “Not Ready For Prime-Time Players” as decided by… pretty much everyone. I don’t have the exact number but some typer out there stated that San Fran now has the record for being flexed out of the most games. Easy to believe.

Tell me some lies.

 

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Sharkbait

How the fuck was that a first down by cook?

Redshirt

I’m all for screwing over the Patriots, but you can’t make it that obvious, refs!

Redshirt

IT STOOD?!

Petronel

In Foxboro, even.

Doktor Zymm

Wait, Giants won?

Doktor Zymm

I have no idea what just happened. I handled this weekend very poorly

Viva La Tabula Raza

If you didn’t end up in jail, the hospital, or the morgue, consider it a win.

rockingdog

ummmm is oakland raiders gonna do this?

rockingdog

hahahahah oh shit! raiders walking the walk…

Redshirt

Seth MacFarlane’s Star Trek made it to a Season 2?!

Petronel

I keep meaning to check it out, but every time I see an ad for it, I see these guys instead.

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rockingdog

hey Brady!
throw it to josh gordon! he can catch it!!!! yes he can!!!!

Redshirt

“Somebody told me the other day that the Secret Service has orders that if George Bush is shot, they’re to shoot Quayle.”
—John Kerry

hippofant

Could you imagine the disaster there’d be if someone as dumb as Dan Quayle became President of the United States?!

Haha haha haha ha… ha… … ha.

Sharkbait

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litre_cola

Afternoon, how the fuck are we doing boys and women?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Howdy boys. How’s a KHunt free Kansas City?

rockingdog

blergggg

Brick Meathook

Jon Gruden sucks. He’s not even tanking at this point. He’s just awful.

Sharkbait

Free Miller light? Why thank you street team

Horatio Cornblower

Isn’t life on the streets already hard enough?

Brick Meathook

Even when the Raiders score it’s painful to watch

Mr. Ayo

Doug Martin comes up short

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Horatio Cornblower

My son is at the Patriots game. If Brady gets a laser in the eyes, he was here with us the whole time, got it?

Gratliff

Boy wanted the Christmas tree up, so I told him I’d help get it set up if he decorates it himself. He agreed, and now he’s asking me for Christmas music. Like, do you not see RedZone on our TV? Andy’s on TV, so that’s basically Santa. How fucking festive do you need to be? Jesus.

Brick Meathook
Sharkbait
Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

I heard they’re not going to kick for the rest of the season

Gratliff

Not as a Chief, he’s not

Gratliff

Oh neat. $15 off a grub hub order. Time to use it exactly once while I can’t really see and never log into it again.

Redshirt

“Tell me some lies.”

You will find love and fulfillment in your life.

The Maestro

The curse of Gary Anderson lives on. HAIL SHAN’KHOR

Sharkbait

Nailed it

Blair Walsh

The Maestro

Dalvin Cook is… good?

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show
...

I TOLD YOU ALL THE BEARS WOULD BEARISTROCRATS ONE GAME THIS YEAR

Col. Duke LaCross

That game was almost an exact replay of that stupid Miami game.

Sharkbait

What an awful play call on 4th and 8

Redshirt

I think Daniel panicked and threw deep. In that position, you get the first down.

...

FUCK EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING

rockingdog

*checks fantasy football scores
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Mr. Ayo

BEARISTOCRATS!

Redshirt

If we can’t tie, I want the clock to run out on the Bears to show one of the flaws of NFL Overtime (the 1st team could hold onto the ball for most or all of OT, kick a field goal, and the 2nd team wouldn’t have enough time to do anything).

...

Cutting OT was the dumbest decision

Redshirt

Simply solution. If you take the ball, you cannot punt. If you don’t like it, kick.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

So I’ve been addicted to the NFLs archive of old games and they’re gloriously fun and great time pieces.

How would a weekly-ish series go where I watch one of these games a week and just give my deranged takes?

Redshirt

I’m for it.

Mr. Ayo

Oh hell yeah!

Redshirt

I’m sad. Boy, a tie would really cheer me up.

Senor Weaselo

-David Carradine

...

GODDAMN IT THIS GAME SUCKS JUST TIE

Spur

Eli needs to take a sack or fumble, please.

rockingdog

gahhhhhh!
I have Tarik Cohen on my bench!
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Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Louis Farrakhan likes his skin color, but hates the last name.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

My father just died

of despair because of the Giants. He also just had a stroke so we’ll see if he pulls through!

Brick Meathook

I’m rooting for Buddy’s father’s corpse

Spur

Bonus time for the Giants to stink up the joint.

Sharkbait

Giants gonna Giant

Spur

Da Bears

Brick Meathook

Ha ha I’ve been zinged!

Brick Meathook

I’m still hammered. PRAY FOR MOJO

blaxabbath

Packers suck.

bk109

And that most of their owners keel over with the latest Crosby-Rodgers-McCarthy turdsicle of a season 😀
Just imagine, tho… they managed to LOSE to the mummified remains of Arizona 😀

Redshirt

This Bengals teams is making me miss the 1990s Bengals.

blaxabbath

GB got a serious case of the dropsies today.

yeah right

Can we all agree that today we’re all Vikings fans?

Welcome aboard SKOL brothers and sisters!

Gratliff

Not while Vikes have that head-to-head tiebreaker, we’re not.

yeah right

Valid reason. You’re excused.

blaxabbath

JAX won 6-0?

Redshirt

Middle Relievers really let this game get away from them.