MNF Open Thread – Week 13

It had been a typically gorgeous Southern California winter day.  Yeah,  it had started out in the 40s as I walked out the door to head to work, but it had warmed up considerably on the drive to Downtown.

The hookers weren’t there this morning.  Was it because of the cold or something more nefarious?

I brushed that thought off and optimistically decided they were working.  The holidays must be rough for the ladies.  Those babies and/or abortions don’t pay for themselves.

As I drove home in perfect 73 degree weather,  I realized I was hungry.  I thought about it and knew there was a football game to watch,  so I made the decision.

I called and ordered.  ETA 30 minutes.  Perfect timing.

After I got home,  I was undressing when the doorbell rang.  I quickly jumped to answer. I was REALLY hungry.

She was standing there wearing stiletto heels and a brown trenchcoat.

“Hi”, she purred as she opened the coat to reveal what she wasn’t wearing.

“Hi”, I answered.

She asked,  “Who’s playing?”

“Eagles and Potato Skins”

“Cool.  No need for doggie then.”

“Yup”

TO THE GAME!

The Eagles need to win tonight to have any chance of defending their Super Bowl championship.

That’s as short and to the point as I can make it.  Anything else would be verbose and self-indulgent.

Comment away!

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ballsofsteelandfury
Balls somehow lost his bio and didn't realize it. He's now scrambling to write something clever and failing. He likes butts, boobs, most things that start with the letter B, and writing in the Second Person. Geelong, Toluca, Barcelona, and Steelers, in that order.
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Brick Meathook

Shut up Booger you’re talking over a Sanchezception.

Brocky

Okay, someone texted me this, I havent seen the game at all…..

We had a reverse butt fumble?

Mr. Ayo

THE BUTT FUMBLE RECOVEREY TOTAL REDEMPTION FOR THE SANCHIZE pic.twitter.com/jqNOX9Kza8

— PFTCommenter (@PFTCommenter) December 4, 2018

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Brick Meathook

I think domestic violence is mostly bad.

Game Time Decision

Wow. Witten saying what everyone is thinking with regards to the spuds signing Foster

Gratliff

….They didn’t even call the pick

Gratliff

As much as Witten is a mush-mouthed shithead on mic, I love him just openly blasting Washington at every opportunity

litre_cola

Thought he would turn on us.

Gratliff

David Lynch intently watching from the box

Redshirt

I’m sorry for Smith and Colt, but you have to love karma.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hIk3j9vvIAQ

King Hippo

I commend Pedersen’s commitment to OT avoidance.

/Dacteds need to have Thompson in the game now obvs

blaxabbath

Why is PHI so bad this season?

litre_cola

Because you touch yourself

Redshirt

That explains the Bengals so much.

Brocky

At NIGHT

Because you touch yourself at night!

FTFY

litre_cola

ALL DAY errrrr day CHUH CHUH

Gratliff

This has the feel of a game that’s gonna end with me raging

JustStopDude

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pRva7z8pvwc

Greatest line in comedy…

Brick Meathook

I’m gonna counter and say that this is even funnier:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i8PZFQz-qmo

Gratliff

Body Baggish

Gratliff

Oh shit. Westbrook’s record fell.

Doktor Zymm

Just got home. Apparently Colt has been put down and Sanchez is in? It’s gonna be interesting how many third rate QBs WAS can go through during the remainder of the season….

Gratliff

I was gonna make a Chad Henne joke, but apparently he’s a Chief?

Doktor Zymm

Perhaps not for long!

Brick Meathook

TEBOW TIME!

Doktor Zymm

If they try to bring back RG3 I hope he turns them down in a very public and embarrassing way

Sharkbait

Oh Yeah. McCoy ded.

Doktor Zymm

These new rules that are supposed to prevent QB injury are not working particularly well

Gratliff

He broke his leg by rolling on the ground and smacking it into a defender’s knee.

Doktor Zymm

??? That’s bizarre. They must be serving Malk in the WAS cafeteria

blaxabbath

Time to raid the AAFL! It’s Murray time!

Gratliff

my favorite jason witten memory is all the big catches he made in the playoffs

— loctastic (@loctastic) December 4, 2018

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King Hippo

just get Ertz 2 more catches, and keep fucking AP out of the secondary/end zone

Game Time Decision

There you go.

King Hippo

now BURN THAT CLOCK!

Don T

Sanchez holding the ball for auction

King Hippo

way to stare down your primary read there

Mr. Ayo

Dakota Jebus sucks.

Gratliff

oh no

Sharkbait

RDR2 is still fucking amazing. Have not gone online with it yet though

Gratliff

I messed with it briefly, but I’ve still got a good chunk of the story to finish. Can’t wait to get in just in time for someone to call in a fucking drone strike on me 5 minutes after I make my character.

JustStopDude

I dread going online. I cannot imagine its anything close to the amazing solo part of the game.

The epilogue made me nearly cry. Its just amazing the way they decided to close up the game. Its perfect, even though its incredibly bitter sweet.

Sharkbait

I havent finished it yet. I’m deliberately taking my time in single player, since I imagine online will be a shitshow like GTA is

King Hippo

Need 1.27 from Ertz!!

/and continued Iggles run D

Gratliff

I want Jamarcus Russell in burgundy and gold by year’s end.

The Maestro

I want Tim Tebow backing him up.

JustStopDude

I apologize. I have been MIA a bit. I broke down and bought a video game system. The last one I had was a Super Nintendo.

The reason I got it was because most of my colleagues I get along with are field engineers and they like to play online FIFA football. So I got it for that.

I still have yet to turn on the Fifa game. It came with Red Dead Redemption 2. My first love is movies. As a piss poor kid in Baltimore, I would scrounge up a couple of bucks for a matinee and then would sneak into like three movies in the day unless the theater employees caught on. I can talk movies all day long. Good movies…shitty movies…I love them all. But of late, I have grown to hate the movies. Its the same shit.

This game…holy shit it is better writing then anything in movies or TV. I need an intervention. I finished the game like three days ago and I am playing the story again. The main character…hell the minor characters, have more growth…more depth than any movie from a major studio in the last 10 years.

My god…its better than any superhero movie. I really want to just sit down and pick the brains of the writers because it is simply amazing.

Gratliff

There’s a side quest in the big city where Arthur’s getting into it with an ex about how they keep fucking each other over emotionally and the dialogue and direction is just shockingly compelling to the point that I wish it was what more of the story was about.

JustStopDude

My favorite is when the camp moves to the South and Miss Tilly will tell you that she is worried. When you ask her why, she just blatantly points out that as a black woman, she faces getting lynched if she leaves the camp.

I also love the electric chair side mission. It drives home the point the insanity of the notion of a humane execution by the state.

Gratliff

Oh goddamn did it break when it hit the dude’s knee?

The Maestro

Captain Marvel looks FUCKING DOPE and I hope the incels suffocate themselves in rage on their lifesize anime waifu body pillows.

Gratliff

Sort of dig the idea of a straight up space fist laser pew pew fight that doesn’t involve a Green Lantern ring

Gratliff

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Horatio Cornblower

Thug: “Here comes Green Lantern, what should we do?”

Me (The Boss): /flashes yellow strobe light

Green Lantern: /dies

Me: “Guy’s more useless than Aquaman in the Mojave. Now finish cleaning out the safe.”

...

But Brie Larson is also super hot, so they’ll be torn.

...

Finally, someone who gets it: https://twitter.com/Boringstein/status/1069782480079720448

Straightforward from here:
1: change name to “Washington Fleshlight Enthusiasts”
2: sign kapernick and pay him 100% up front
3: let kapernick bolt with your money bc fuck Washington football
4: bulldoze FedEx field
5: disband the NFL
6: push Dan Snyder into the potomac

blaxabbath

IC Rod Marinelli is one of my favorite commenters.

Viva La Tabula Raza

My mother owned a couple of candy & nut stores when I was in high school and college and I worked at them for moneys. There was a variety of legume that we sold that I think of whenever I hear the Washington team’s name before I remember the racist part.
comment image
“Gimme quarter pound of them fresh roasted [*Redacted] s, kid.”
We won’t discuss Brazil nuts.

Gratliff

My mother also spent a significant amount of time with nuts

Gratliff

Tumblr banned porn? There were things on tumblr that weren’t porn? What a crazy world.

herodotus450

Not for another 2 weeks, stock up!

...

Philly-Washington always seems like the B-game of the NFC East.

Game Time Decision

Brady’s not even playing and they are fallating him.

King Hippo

now THAT is some classic Sanchize decisionmaking

Brick Meathook

I just turned the sound up on this game. Sanchez is playing? Holy shit!

herodotus450

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Don T

Was that the pregnant one? Beautiful.
-R. Carruth

Unsurprised

If she wasn’t, Grossman could’ve fixed that on her way down

Brick Meathook

I started watching this, I want to finish it! I got side-tracked and watched a very well made documentary about Sherman’s march through Georgia to the sea:
https://youtube.com/watch?v=U8kSUDp2BC0&ebc=ANyPxKqIP84Nd0Dd3NaXOJknogRQzGOwCET4bAVS5ETAb-902-XGGiTUXViudBM_e6u7nPqG4BMsJdnPMJqRfr1sQktwdAWs6Q

Unsurprised

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Unsurprised
Brick Meathook

William Tecumseh Sherman ain’t fuckin’ around.

The Maestro

This was a fantastic read. Thank you for sharing the link!

Brick Meathook

I disagree. That “war nerd” piece was factually correct and I agree with its thesis but it was written by someone with the maturity of a sixth grader. Watch the documentary and get the same info (and thesis) presented by adults.

herodotus450

It was pretty funny, mostly because of how out of place Ferrell seems. If you’re familiar with him it will probably just be another shitty Lifetime movie and you can get the gist of it from the gif.
/Also not even any nudity c’mon!

herodotus450

*NOT familiar with him, is what it should say

Brick Meathook

I liked it from that opening scene.

herodotus450

I was hooked

Brick Meathook

Will Ferrell and Adam McCay are really daring in what they do and I love it. McCay also made The Big Short and now Vice is out, about Dick Cheney.

King Hippo

exactly what was Philly’s endgame there? Make WAS punt with 15 seconds left?

Gratliff

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Petronel

Sunday AM on PBS.

“Welcome to Black Thought. I’m Tish Hyman.”

No thanks, I’m good.

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Game Time Decision

I must live under a rock as I’ve never heard or see that eagles score song before. And god damn, it’s dumb

Spur

Beastly First Down.

King Hippo

they’re at THE FIFTY you fuckheads

Unsurprised

This looks more exciting than MNF

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G60llMJepZI

Brick Meathook

If there’s ever been a bad video about heavy forging, I haven’t seen it.

Horatio Cornblower

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King Hippo

Iggles timeout?? The fuck?

King Hippo

at least AP isn’t in

Horatio Cornblower

Washington switched it up on him?

How ironic.

Horatio Cornblower

Genesis at halftime? Looks like the dog’s getting his walk after all!

Spur

But Marvel trailer…

Game Time Decision

So, music with Phil Colins and band, sweet

Unsurprised

Sanchez is the kind of asshole that would embrace the REDACTEDS moniker because he’s Mexican.

King Hippo

#HeritageNotHate don’t yewwwww beaners get it ,, smh

Gratliff

HOLD ME CLOSER

Col. Duke LaCross

Tiny Darrendown!

Petronel

TINYDARRENDOWN!

King Hippo

Fuckall for Ertz, BOOOOOOO