Latest posts by scotchnaut (see all)
- Your “‘Of Course I’m Pro-Bowel!’ -Adam Viniateri” Sunday Afternoon Free-for-all Open Thread – January 27, 2019
- Your “We Are All…, You Know The Drill” AFC Champagne-ship Game Open Thread – January 20, 2019
- Your “And Then There Were Only Three” NFC Champeenship Game Open Thread – January 20, 2019
Good evening, ladies and silly men. Were you to start up your own football league would you put the word “Freedom” in the title? Well, guys like Ricky Williams, Jeff Garcia, Terrell Owens and Simeon Rice thought just that very same thing and beat you to the (not attached in any way to a domestic violence ‘incident’) punch. The Freedom Football League is going to pretend to launch in 2020. Where is the funding going to fall short? Well, from private folks and the issuance of bonds because money falls from the sky these days and alternative professional football leagues have a long track record of success and profitability.
You know those tents on the sidelines for injured players? In this league there’ll be nothing but pergolas. Team physicians will be replaced by spiritual advisers. Replay officials? This is 2020 people! From now on remote viewers will be contacted in their lair in the hills of Wyoming for their interpretation of what constitutes a catch and by gum, they’re gonna get it more righter than the NFL ever did. Welcome to the future.
TO THE GAME!
Hey, it’s the last quarter of the season (Quarter? Did someone say quarter? -Jim Tomsula) and unless you’re in a dumbass fantasy league that plays its champeenship in Week 18 when starters get rested, your ass might just be on the line. Not that you’d be playing fellas in this game… As for this tilt… oof. Who will win the Battle of The Incredibly Disappointing Running Backs? My money is on ‘neither’ because Fournette and Henry both don’t deserve to have anyone depend on them for a victory. Get ready for tired old phrases like ‘clock control’, ‘field position’, ‘defensive struggle’, ‘what else is on?’, ‘the toast is done’, ‘I’m leaving you’, ‘these pants don’t fit any more’, ‘are there any doctors on board?’, ‘I told you she was dead’ and of course, ‘it was like that when I got here’.
Shed some inhibitions. Just not right here, right now.