Gazing Into Balls’ Crystal Balls – Week 14

This is my weekly outlook as to who will make the playoffs,  who won’t,  who will win,  and who won’t.

As promised,  I’m keeping track of what I say week to week so you can call me out on any bullshit you may see. At the end of the season,  I’ll recap and highlight in green any predictions I got right.

If any.

Without further ado, TO THE STANDINGS!

AFC

This week was going to be big in the standings but one thing I did not expect was for New England to lose.  That wraps up the #1 seed for the Chiefs. 

I’ve said that the AFC divisional races and the Wild Card races were pretty much over and that the only intrigue left was to see the seedings. I stand by that assessment only in the sense that the 6 playoff teams are locked in as every other team in the AFC is absolute dogshit. That dogshit pile includes Pittsburgh,  but they’ve got a lead on the rest of the pack so they get the last Wild Card spot until they fuck up again. 

Which will probably be next week.

I now see Baltimore overtaking the Steelers for the AFC North although that won’t mean much for both teams in the big scheme of things.  The embarrassing loss at Oakland happened right on schedule and moves Baltimore into the division winner spot.

I also said that the ambrosia salad days of mayo, Wonder bread,  and vanilla ice cream are over and that it’s Lamar Time! After a great effort in KC,  Harbaugh would be nuts to switch back back now. Which he may because that family is all kinds of nuts. 

Here is how I see them finishing this week:

1. Kansas City
2. New England
3. Houston
4. Baltimore
5. San Diego
6. Pittsburgh

Here is the comparison to previous weeks:

AFC Playoffs

The matchups have changed,  but the results will be the same.  No one is getting in the way of a New England-Kansas City AFC Championship. 

NFC

The Cowboys have basically assured themselves the NFC East crown by beating the Eagles at home in a great game.  With the Saints and Rams clinching the divisions,  it’s almost a carbon copy of the AFC in the sense that most of the playoff teams are locked in. 

The Seahawks are solidly in the #5 spot and they are looking formidable.  Last night’s win shows they can do some damage in the playoffs and could at the very least spring the upset in the Wild Card round thanks to their D.  Meanwhile,  the Rams’ loss means the Saints have the inside track for the #1 seed. 

The race for the last Wild Card spot is tightening up as the Eagles and Vikings dropped back to join the pack. The pack, though,  is full of doody as the Panthers lost to the Browns and no one else seems capable of making a run. 

That includes the Vikings.  Given last night’s game,  I’m putting the Eagles in and the Vikings out.  I still say that the fact that the Eagles are the defending Super Bowl champs counts for something.

Here is how I see them finishing this week:

1. Saints
2. Rams
3. Bears
4. Cowboys
5. Seahawks
6. Eagles

Here is the comparison to previous weeks:

NFC Playoffs

I’ve now flip flopped on a few things as Sunday’s game showed me there CAN be tittykissing in January. I think the Bears can beat the Eagles at home and the Rams in LA, but not the Saints in New Orleans. 

I still say that the NFC Championship will be the real Super Bowl as the winner will handle New England in The Asshole.

Superb Owl

Saints beat New England.

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Go ahead, yell at me and tell me I’m stupid.