Gazing Into Balls’ Crystal Balls – Week 14

This is my weekly outlook as to who will make the playoffs,  who won’t,  who will win,  and who won’t.

As promised,  I’m keeping track of what I say week to week so you can call me out on any bullshit you may see. At the end of the season,  I’ll recap and highlight in green any predictions I got right.

If any.

Without further ado, TO THE STANDINGS!

AFC

This week was going to be big in the standings but one thing I did not expect was for New England to lose.  That wraps up the #1 seed for the Chiefs. 

I’ve said that the AFC divisional races and the Wild Card races were pretty much over and that the only intrigue left was to see the seedings. I stand by that assessment only in the sense that the 6 playoff teams are locked in as every other team in the AFC is absolute dogshit. That dogshit pile includes Pittsburgh,  but they’ve got a lead on the rest of the pack so they get the last Wild Card spot until they fuck up again. 

Which will probably be next week.

I now see Baltimore overtaking the Steelers for the AFC North although that won’t mean much for both teams in the big scheme of things.  The embarrassing loss at Oakland happened right on schedule and moves Baltimore into the division winner spot.

I also said that the ambrosia salad days of mayo, Wonder bread,  and vanilla ice cream are over and that it’s Lamar Time! After a great effort in KC,  Harbaugh would be nuts to switch back back now. Which he may because that family is all kinds of nuts. 

The Harbaughs

Here is how I see them finishing this week:

  1. Kansas City
  2. New England
  3. Houston
  4. Baltimore
  5. San Diego
  6. Pittsburgh

Here is the comparison to previous weeks:

# 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 Actual
1 KC KC KC  KC        
2 NE NE NE  NE        
3 PIT HOU HOU  HOU        
4 HOU PIT PIT  BAL        
5 LAC LAC LAC  LAC        
6 BAL BAL BAL  PIT        

 

AFC Playoffs

  11 12 13 14 15 16 17 Actual
WC1 PIT>BAL PIT>LAC PIT>LAC  PIT>HOU        
WC2 HOU>LAC HOU>BAL HOU>BAL  BAL>LAC        
D1 NE>PIT NE>HOU NE>HOU  NE>BAL        
D2 KC>HOU PIT>KC KC>PIT  KC>PIT        
C NE>KC NE>PIT NE>KC  NE>KC        

 

The matchups have changed,  but the results will be the same.  No one is getting in the way of a New England-Kansas City AFC Championship. 

NFC

The Cowboys have basically assured themselves the NFC East crown by beating the Eagles at home in a great game.  With the Saints and Rams clinching the divisions,  it’s almost a carbon copy of the AFC in the sense that most of the playoff teams are locked in. 

The Seahawks are solidly in the #5 spot and they are looking formidable.  Last night’s win shows they can do some damage in the playoffs and could at the very least spring the upset in the Wild Card round thanks to their D.  Meanwhile,  the Rams’ loss means the Saints have the inside track for the #1 seed. 

The race for the last Wild Card spot is tightening up as the Eagles and Vikings dropped back to join the pack. The pack, though,  is full of doody as the Panthers lost to the Browns and no one else seems capable of making a run. 

That includes the Vikings.  Given last night’s game,  I’m putting the Eagles in and the Vikings out.  I still say that the fact that the Eagles are the defending Super Bowl champs counts for something.

Here is how I see them finishing this week:

  1. Saints
  2. Rams
  3. Bears
  4. Cowboys
  5. Seahawks
  6. Eagles

Here is the comparison to previous weeks:

# 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 Actual
1 LAR LAR LAR  NO        
2 NO NO NO  LAR        
3 CHI CHI CHI  CHI        
4 DAL DAL DAL  DAL        
5 CAR SEA SEA  SEA        
6 SEA CAR PHI  PHI        

 

NFC Playoffs

  11 12 13 14 15 16 17 Actual
W1 SEA>CHI CHI>CAR PHI>CHI  CHI>PHI        
W2 CAR>DAL SEA>DAL SEA>DAL  DAL>SEA        
D1 SEA>LAR SEA>LAR LAR>PHI  CHI>LAR        
D2 NO>CAR NO>CHI NO>SEA  NO>DAL        
C NO>SEA NO>SEA NO>LAR  NO>CHI        

 

I’ve now flip flopped on a few things as Sunday’s game showed me there CAN be tittykissing in January. I think the Bears can beat the Eagles at home and the Rams in LA, but not the Saints in New Orleans. 

I still say that the NFC Championship will be the real Super Bowl as the winner will handle New England in The Asshole.

Superb Owl

Saints beat New England.

11 12 13 14 15 16 17 Actual
NO>NE NO>NE NO>NE  NO>NE        

 

***

Go ahead, yell at me and tell me I’m stupid.

ballsofsteelandfury

ballsofsteelandfury

International Member of the Geelong Cats and recovering Steelers fan. Likes Butts. And Balls. And Boobs. Pretty much anything that starts with the letter B. Preferably together.
ballsofsteelandfury

Latest posts by ballsofsteelandfury (see all)

Please Login to comment
10 Comment threads
34 Thread replies
0 Followers
 
Most reacted comment
Hottest comment thread
10 Comment authors
Moose -The End Is Well NighLow Commander of the Super SoldiersballsofsteelandfuryBrick MeathookWakezilla Recent comment authors
  Subscribe  
Notify of
Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

No one is getting in the way of a New England-Kansas City AFC Championship.

Two years ago, this would have been a nightmare. But now…

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Wakezilla

I appreciate you not putting the Dolphins on here because you don’t want to jinx them. Their chances of winning out is significantly higher that the Stillers’

rockingdog
rockingdog

mean mugging…..
comment image

rockingdog
rockingdog
Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Can’t be real, as this seems more likely.

https://twitter.com/josephshmoe7/status/1072125616953155584

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Really a shame the Gruden rebuild isn’t showing immediate results

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Explosive.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Oh, it is.” – Cowboys and Bears fans

/but seriously, I still have no regrets over the Amari Cooper trade; he’s going to be demanding Mack-level money (justifiably, if he keeps putting up these numbers) as early as next year, so the Cowboys will have given up a first round pick for a guy they probably could have gotten for a song (in terms of draft picks) soon enough anyway.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Reggie McKenzie was dragging him down. Everything will be different now.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

With a few exceptions (PIT, PHI), any of these teams could easily get hot in a playoff game

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Pittsburgh could absolutely get hot in a playoff game. I want to see them play against KC in the divisional round for that very reason.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

If you don’t think THE BEN can take advantage of any opening that is given to him (or not given to him, or has been deliberately plied with drinks so that it’s virtually unconscious and can’t legally decide whether it wants to give that opening to him or not), then you don’t know THE BEN.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Sorry, the team is dysfunctional at this point, especially on the road. I’m not saying they can’t fix some thing or that there is no way; I’m saying that it is a very low probability. In a close game against quality talent they are making way to many mistakes. The defense is not playing very well, so that presses him to make desperate throws even more than his usual throw it up in contested situations. With the talent at wide receiver and the rapist you can’t count them out completely, but the probability is very low IMO. Knowing the rapist? I have watched every playoff game with him involved, but I’m not a homer like some.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

The same is true with the Beagles.

Wakezilla

Pit has P*ts, Saints and Bumgles. Think they win 2 of 3 to get in?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Exactly; they won’t have a chance.

blaxabbath

Houston.

It’s an absolute atrocity that the Texans do not get more [DFO] love. Then again, living in a time where President Donald Trump, a man who serial molests his own daughter as a getup for selling immigrant babies into human sex trafficking operations — where he and his buddies rewrote the law specifically to design in loopholes for their operations to slip through — while his mail-order bride broadcasts an “I don’t care” coat, I guess, can make the Texans seem like a below-the-fold story.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

They are still playing way better than Shitsburgh.

comment image

The loss to the Colts was in the division, which is always possible and Hodor & Co. are playing very well as of late.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Wait, you can buy immigrant babies now? How much (ballpark)? Actually, I was hoping for kids a little older, who can do some useful work. I know it’s probably a legal gray area, but I have a crawl space that needs a good cleaning.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

. . . the ambrosia salad days of mayo, Wonder bread, and vanilla ice cream are over and that it’s Lamar Time!

Replaced by the macaroni and cheese days of yellow mustard, Wonder bread, and Kool Aid of Lamar Time!

The Seahawks are . . . are looking formidable. Last night’s win shows they can do some damage in the playoffs

The Seahawks averaged ONE point per quarter during the first three quarters of last night’s game, against a team who specialized in going backwards most of the night. The last 15 points scored were flukey parting gifts by the Vikings who just wanted to get out of the foul weather of Seattle and back to the even shittier weather of Minneapolis but hey at least there you don’t have to go outside and there’s some decent looking women before they get fat as houses.

blaxabbath

I feel like you are not jumping on to be the 13th man.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Fun fact: The equivalent of a “13th Man” among Colts fans is one-third of a fifth man.

/do the math – it checks out!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

They should have called Wagner on the blocked FG.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I now see Baltimore overtaking the Steelers for the AFC North although that won’t mean much for both teams in the big scheme of things. The embarrassing loss at Oakland happened right on schedule and moves Baltimore into the division winner spot.

Does it really matter? As you allude to, all it will mean is which respective opponent each will lose to in the first round.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

The way they are playing now Pittsburgh doesn’t beat Houston in that stupid city, as proposed.

comment image

blaxabbath

I was so pissed at that loss. I thought that Browns game I attended (also Zymm but she’s got higher aspirations in life) would be their last win ever in OAK. But no — once again Big Ben rips…..damn it, I can’t phrase this correctly. Point is, he forces himself on people against their will in bathrooms.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I heard a bunch of ‘fire Tomlin’ talk on the squeak box.

comment image

blaxabbath

PIT fans are nuts.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image