I decided to toss this thingy up a bit before the messiness that will begin at 4:30 eastern because there is quite a bit going on sports-wise on this fair Saturday.
The Autonation Cure Bowl sounds like a nasal remedy invented by Robert Smith-if you scan it quickly as I did. That one already started.
There is the New Mexico Bowl starring the good folks at Utah State and North Texas. Will they play football or have a tent-pitching/land-clearing competition. The natives in the area won’t be pleased no matter who ends up winning.
At 5:30 the Raycom Media Camellia Bowl featuring Georgia Southern and Eastern Michigan will kick off. Reports of members of the Eagles suffering from dysentery was proved to be false. Damn those scribblers at The Times-Picayune!
For those that like college basketball a number of top 25’ers are on in this window. #5 Michigan, #14 Buffalo(!), #25 Indiana, #23 Furman(! again), #19 Kentucky and #20 Arizona State all look to throw another W in the left-hand column of their record.
TO THE GAME!
Texans/Jets:
Any way I look at this tilt I can’t see New York winning. They just don’t match up well vs. Houston. Sure, that’s an easy thing to say of any 4-9 team playing their betters but them Jets are down to McGuire and Cannon running the ball in this rush-heavy offense. They are both below the 4 yards per carry threshold. The Texans have the league’s best or second-best rush D depending on what combo of stats you want to prioritize. So DARNOLD! with his 55.9% pass rate and 19 total turnovers is going to have to win the game with his arm to…. who? Robby Anderson is the best of a bad lot but he only stands out because Enunwa is down, Pryor is gone and Kearse is invisible. Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure at some point DARNOLD! is going to make some sort of throw that will cause my jaw to go slack but the Jets O is a shambles but I don’t blame the players one bit.
Huh. Cuse is up 3 on Old Dominion already…
New Thread up!
No matter what anyone says, my cat was NOT named after Baker Mayfield. I couldn’t burden an animal with a Browns-related name.
Why did you name your cat after the corgi from Sam & Fuzzy?
So, Bakery Mayfield was named after your cat?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NcJbYmj3c9Y
Running low on Vodka. May have to switch to Whisky and alot more weed the usual
I’m higher than Amelia Earhart.
Hmmm…
Well, she’s in the Pacific Ocean food chain, so, yeah.
If two sub-500 teams play on NFL network on a saturday night in a forest and no one watches it, did it actually happen?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rtlwAvloa9k
Nice!
Yeah, I kinda wish people had more modesty when asking Google stuff, cause if they did, this autocomplete would not exist :
“How long does it take for…”
SOMEONE ELSE’S SALIVA TO LEAVE YOUR MOUTH
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2nxQLJmshak
He raises a good question. Why DO teams go out and compete when they’re out of it? Playing spoiler can be fun, or if you’re an individual player looking for a contract, I get it, but that’s not true most of the time.
these players have been the best athletes/winners since they were 10 years old. They get a chance to feel like “normal” again. They go all in.
male pride is sommet very hard to ‘splain
/plus very few guaranteed contracts
Plus the wet towel treatment after film review on Monday
hot
No YOU thought about Michael Sam first!
I theorize its for free agents. Do you want to play for the up-and-coming 6-10 team for the perineal losers 4-12 team?
I usually put Post-its on the fridge, but to each there own.
if you need to remember to get Summer’s Eve ,, smh
The products or the woman?
why not both?
If they aren’t lesbians in a relationship, then that’s a super weird roommate moment
The beginning of Penthouse Letters story or attention getting reality show.
So, swag from the last Marketplace All-Hands was a grey sweatshirt material blanket. I also just got a Payments Eng grey zipfront hoodie, and I have a grey Payments sweatshirt, so really, all I need is a grey pair of Payments\Marketplace\FBApp sweatpants and I’ll have the full outfit (with the blanket worn as a cape of course)
You talking bout Accounts Payable?
Cash Room Bitch Be Havin’ My Shortie will never be not funny
Terrell Davis!!
We’re getting some Eagles on Eagles action on ESPN.
Getting Ready
Spur, you assured me the Jets would win this game. Expect to hear from my attorneys presently.
Spur is a character, i hold no responsibility
I could assure you my dick is bigger than John Holmes’. Shame on you for believing it.
Well, it probably is now.
Since we’re doing confessions, I do not constantly die early to indicate how dangerous a situation is.
Kenny?
Isn’t being a Brony a protected class now?
new post?
Going up in 20 minutes
Takes FOREVER for the Cialis to kick in.
lazy. Can’t DFO get a 601 waiver and get a Thai kid to write up/monitor a livepost
game would have ended EVEN IF he made the first down
4th and 19? 5 yard route.
Anyone else worried it’s going to be 2019 and we still have no space elevator yet?
I remember writing papers on that fucking thing 15 years ago when the theories for it were already old. Give ? us ? our ? mass ? produced ? carbon ? nano ? fiber
Off the defender’s head? Can I get an AND 1?
Darnold taking a shower:
Chargers reference! AND fuck-up!
/Low Commander starts playing femur drums
We all float down here.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bRLSaBZV1Eo
FG covers! Make eeet!
If a guy ever got me shitty holiday jewelry as a gift, I think he would be getting an enrollment into a community college consumer finance class in exchange
That hardly seems fair, getting him something valuable in return.
Call it an investment in gifting futures
My favorite are the local commercials here in Virginia, advertising that scratch offs make great gifts.
I would rather get a kick in the balls.
I once had someone get me a couple scratch offs and a bunch of Starbursts as an apology gift, and I won $20. I kind of got the impression he felt worse about giving me the winning scratch off than he did about what he was apologizing for in the first place, so yeah, not great for anyone
Touch of Downs will get his shot at a hilarious pick, after all!
J-E-S-T, drop drop drop!
JESUS DARNOLD THAT THROW WAS RET….
not a good idea.
Well the refs blew the whistle so it couldn’t be returned.
I thought Nate Burleson was shot and mounted by that hunter that killed Cecil the Lion?
You know the Big Mouth Billy Bass. Same concept.
Just mounted.
Nate Burleson is now explaining a 50-50 ball. It seems he thinks the football-watching audience is dumber than dirt.
Can’t say he’s far off, though.
Is there nothing better than being in a bar, watching football, and people freaking out because they don’t agree with an obvious call…like false start?
Going to a game too; they boo the refs when their guy jumped two full seconds before the snap. My WTF are you doing look falls on deaf perceptions.
“Now the football is that weird shape so it can be thrown easier, because when it thrown with a tight spinning spiral, it reduces on air resistance and it goes farther.”
It’s called an extra point because you get an extra point if you make it.
We should have a recurring Nate Burleson Explains Things post.
Recurring means it happens more than once
People are pretty shit at stuff like probability, percentages, and 50+50 = 100
Everyone in Vegas knows a 50-50 ball is more like 65-35.
“No, it’s more like 53-72.”
Trent D.
“For me the odds are 100 1/3-41 1/3.”
S. Steiner
Lance only has a 50-0 ball
Not that fancy kind of dirt though
Left way too much time for Legohead here
Wow…holy shit…what a fucking catch!
He’s a cheat code!
God I hate this team.
Aaaaand, ALXMAC takes the lead because Lamar’s been hurt since the beginning of the game.
that takes Hopkins over 40 points WOO
Fuck you asshole, I’m a Jets fan at home and I know that was a good call.
Really? I thought that was a pretty shit call, and I’m not a Jets fan (at home).
He was held all day. I don’t like it, but that was stupidly blatant.
25-25 draw. This is what the peoples want.
The people want TITS!
well, that’s a bridge too far for SOME OF US
Por que no los dos?
Holding hands, defense. That’s kinda gay (no ofense), FIRST DOWN!!
Wattson = Voltson x Ampson
heehee, this comment obeys the laws of thermodynamics.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JsUt2jsLM1k
Legal weed is super fun when you smoke it in the backyard.
Watson wondering what he has to do, when frankly it’s elementary.
That was two yards from being an Onside Kick Recovery on the 1.
if this goes to OT, will they put Donks/#ThePauls on NFL Network 2?
it also means TWO LESS fixtures I gots to recap Sunday nite!
Is there any actual consequence to them calling the penalty on the wrong number?
a child in Afrika dies. So no, not really.
if that somehow got overturned, would have 3rd and goal from the 15.5
If this poor guy misses a third extra point attempt, he may fall into the fetal position on the field.
The pile pushes two yards in: “He’s not in yet!”
They were going to be in the parking lot and the announcers would still be waiting for the call.