Your Sunday Afternoon NFL Football Open Thread

Has the playoff picture become clearer after the noon-ish tilts? I’m guessing that the answer is, if not ‘no’, then ‘kinda’. Well, get thee ready for some more jockeying…

TO THE GAMES!

Rams/Cards:

Of course there are some teams doing other things. Arizona, for example is focusing on giving some of their young talent a little more playing time. They’re also wondering if Old Sure Hands Fitz is heading for that ranch in New Mexico where he can catch more than a break in his second career. Ya see, he’s undecided about another year doing wonderful things in front of tens of appreciative fans. As for the game itself the stats point to a rout. The Cards have allowed the most rushing TD’s in the league and the Rams have run for the second-most. Passing, scoring, points given up and other indicators fall pretty much right in line with the one mentioned above.

Bears/Niners:

I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop on the Bears but have come to realize that there’s nary a Manolo Blahnik in sight. Rook San Fran tackle McGlinchey has cut his baby teeth on the likes of Von Miller, Dee Ford, Melvin Ingram and Chandler Jones but now it’s Big Fella time with a Mack trucking into his view.

Steelers/Saints:

Ingram and Kamara are called Boom and Zoom? Did The Wiggles win the naming contest? The Ravens win yesterday means that if Pitt wins out they’re in. If not, it then becomes a matter of dunking for the largest turds (Steelers, Colts, Ravens and Titans) in the septic pit that is the AFC’s second-level teams.

Shitter’s full!

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This horrible game is going to drag on forever, isn’t it?

King Hippo

If AZ scores, will they go for two and try to beat the spread?

Petronel

Listening to the Niners in radio. Did it look as dumb as it sounds?

King Hippo

Run, DJ, run!!

King Hippo

that was almost catch of the season, toes too big

King Hippo

Solace taken in the $140 I shall cash with PIT win

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Easiest marks on the planet
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I say with 100% sincerity that I hope the person collecting this money just keeps it and fucks off to some Pacific island with it.

King Hippo

YUUUUUPPPPP

Spur

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

If they’re going to have a Pereira-bot, they should update its software

King Hippo

Damn it, Yinzers gonna win and I need to cheer for Black Panthers’ practice squad to win at NO next week.

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I totally forgot Richard Sherman plays for the 49ers.

King Hippo

FULL HEEL TURN

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Richard Sherman needs to be tossed

King Hippo

yeah he done lost his mind

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Spielman saying “no harm, no foul,” like Sherman didn’t run over and throw punches

King Hippo

FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!!!!

King Hippo

If Chi**** wins, that Gigantes/Non-Gendered Cowpersons tilt will be all practice squadders

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I’m so sad this annual tilt between the 49ers and Bears will end this year as I’ll miss this extra-special inept football each December.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Khalil Mack making that tackle that far downfield is both sad and impressive

King Hippo

emotional let down game, they’ve hung in pretty well really. And SF has been playing better this month.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Yeah, it’s both and continued failure of Nagy to give Jordan Howard the fucking ball

Col. Duke LaCross

Badly missing Eddie Jackson too.

King Hippo

c’mon, 1 DJ score, 1 Buster score, and I can have a 5% chance of victory Monday night

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I’d rather see Goff throw some pick sizes for Bears’ sakes

King Hippo

we both get fuckall

King Hippo

he jumped over his neighbours!

King Hippo

Man, Ingram got lucky as fuck there.

King Hippo

Bitchin’ Kamara! Bitchin’ Kamara!

Doktor Zymm

Oh hey, there are Saints fans here too

Doktor Zymm

I think they’re actually louder than the stillers fans

Doktor Zymm

Nevermind. Stillers fans are chanting now

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Michelob: The official beer people who love burpees

Doktor Zymm

Neat, now I have a good reason for not drinking Michelob!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I say go for two

theeWeeBabySeamus

King Hippo gon’ take the DFO League title it appears
That means I gotta give him a trophy?

(phrasing)

King Hippo

nah, you can tip the entertainers when I lose mah stupid bet with stupid Balls LOL

theeWeeBabySeamus

Oh Jeebus, don’t remind me.

King Hippo

Time for the giraffe?

King Hippo

Leonard Cohen can ball.

Doktor Zymm

The Bears fans are sitting near the steelers fans

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Every time I get annoyed with Thom’s voice, I remind myself he has to call 162 games with Yasiel Puig this year and I feel a bit better.

King Hippo

Redlegs crew is THE WORST

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Southwestern Ohio will shit a traffic cone colored turd the first time Puig lines a ball off the center field wall but only gets a single.

King Hippo

please let one of them use the word “uppity”

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I mean, Puig will just end up as tradebait but I’m sure he’ll fuck with the Cubs just enough to make me angry too

yeah right

I’ll make sure to watch the Cincinnati feed when the Cubs play them next year.

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Thom despises the Cubs which is why the 16-0 no-hitter against them a few years back was so great.

Brick Meathook

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What is the everliving fuck is wrong with this team?

Doktor Zymm

Institutional rot?

yeah right

Great name for a metal band or an IPA.

King Hippo

the stink of Cody Parkey

theeWeeBabySeamus

Dok Zymm is kicking my ass as expected.
Hello 8th place.

Doktor Zymm

My team really improved once I missed the playoffs, lol

theeWeeBabySeamus

Mine, on the other hand, did not.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Agree to disagree

theeWeeBabySeamus

LOL. You’re just pissed because I managed to beat you three times this year.
I mean, I couldn’t beat anyone else, but you.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I mean, duh

theeWeeBabySeamus

I kinda punked you this year like CB did me last year.
Sorry, but that’s funny.

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yeah right

My team was so shitty they didn’t even get to play a consolation game.

King Hippo

Buster playing a little better. Don’t worry, Chi**** folk. A prophecy is a prophecy.

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Motherfucker they’re gonna fuck this one up aren’t they?

King Hippo

your bar is making those profits back now, with all the rage drankin

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This place serves 40s in paper bags. It’s gotta be a shitshow

yeah right

I kind of want to drink there now.

King Hippo

oh man, y’all lose you gots to go. Inanimate Carbon Boots On The Ground!

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It’s too late now. Had I not already cracked a beer I might have gone after the missed field goal

Doktor Zymm

All the excitement of drinking in an alley without the risk of being stabbed by a hobo!

King Hippo

or being confused FOR a hobo, if in Northern Ontario

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Fuuuuuuck

Doktor Zymm

Oh wow, there’s lots of them. Don’t know why I’m surprised

King Hippo

Methinks that settles my first-ever DFO fantasy title!

Doktor Zymm

Congrats!

yeah right

Congrats!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Chuh chuh

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I should go over to free-drinks-until-someone-scores-bar and ask what today’s shitfest cost them.

yeah right

This time of the year makes for interesting rooting choices. Why the fuck else would I be cheering for the Niners?

Doktor Zymm

Do you have a masochistic streak? That’s the only other reason I can think of

yeah right

Hard to dispute that being a Vikings fan and all.

Doktor Zymm

Positive ID on the Steelers fan in the bar, cheering the flag

King Hippo

BLEERGH equal opportunity fuckery down Lose-iana way

King Hippo

nah, twas Fiona again, good call

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Shit, if Akiem Hicks is hurt that is problems

King Hippo

Smart play call to keep NO from a favourable position to get more points

King Hippo

but fuck all y’all anyway

Doktor Zymm

I heard a rumor that you need to score points to win. I think someone mentioned it in a post game presser

BrettFavresColonoscopy

The 9ers are getting a lot of yards in Kittles and bits

King Hippo

best player on the team gets THREE touches in first half (on on a trick play), yeah that’s Steve Wilks

King Hippo

Pam Oliver seems cool

theeWeeBabySeamus

I’d wreck that chick.

blaxabbath

Oh I’m reading Arizona will fire Wilks at the end of the year.

That’s good. Bidwill always has some meat to throw to the wolves to distract them from the franchise’s ownership problem.

Doktor Zymm

Is that better or worse than reveling in the hatred of the fans, knowing they can’t do a damn thing about it and will keep buying tickets to your shithole stadium?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Howdy. Was watching the game on a delay so avoided the liveblog. Now I’m popping in to say

Fuck Cody Parkey

King Hippo

No thanks! – Mrs. Parkey