More balls will be footed today, huzzah!
Purdue (+3) v. Auburn, Bring Back Faith Hill Bowl (Nashville, TN – 1:30, ESPN)
The nation watches as Purdue Pete tries to win one MOAR for Cancer Boy. Unfortunately, the SEC West – much like cancer – always wins in the end.
West By God Virginia (+3) v. Syracuse, Heil Hitler Mouse Bowl (Orlando, FL – 5:15, ESPN)
Les Fuckers du Cousins are without their star QB, so very hard to predict where this one goes. Cuse is a team I generally can’t understand, so maybe stick the over if so GAMBLOR inclined.
Iowa State (+2.5) v. Washington State, Texas Is So Butch, Y’all Bowl (San Antonio, TX – 9:00, ESPN)
Hey, a fixture between two sides I like! But Mike Leach just might be the best coach/pirate in D-1A, so one has to like them in this spot. Cornpone State can be overrun, as the Steerfuckers showed in Big Twaaaaaalve play.
Sure yesterday was Boxing Day, but where’s the love for today, Bauxing Day, a celebration of our most trusted mineral?
If there’s an unfunny aluminum smelting joke I haven’t heard it.
Whoever smelt it dealt it and is also dealing with ridiculous tariffs.
What do a cyclops and Aluminum have in common? They’re both missing an ‘i’
Because cylopses are missing a large enough frontal lobe to have a concept of self, you see. They’re supposed to have one eye.
If the college playoffs were just three games of Alabama scrimmaging themselves, it would probably have enough viewers/rating to survive.
I just read the entire Evening Thread Intro / Year in Review,
and then it just vanished!
Same. It’s a great post!
No one will ever believe you.
6p DFO Standard Time, we can’t be premature ejaculators,, smh
It doesn’t matter now. I already know what it says.
DFO’s mobile mind-erasing team shall be there shortly.
That won’t take long.
Apparently some numpty wrote 17:00 instead of 7 PM. Not naming names.
I can only assume the piss-poor espn streaming experience this bowl season is just their attempt to save me from the shit-poor games themselves.
“Piss-poor? shit poor? HERE I COME TO THE RESCUE!”
G.G. Allin
-Najeh Davenport
Right in the clit.
“That’s gotta hurt!”
-A Man In A Boat
“Damn the torpedoes.”
TRUE STORY – the engineer training me how to do this soil elasticity test (I was a civil/environmental engineering tech as summer job all through undergrad), said it was “just like spreading a pair of pussy lips.”
And we wonder why there ain’t more womenfolk in STEM? 😀
So, is this an American Asian thing?
Not a complaint, mind you. Just want to see if I need to keep my eyes peeled in my neighborhood.
I do believe they are saying “Clit Tap” right before they do it, too.
Genius.
Just a friendly reminder for all yous: bowl game results only matter if they support your own personal regional biases, otherwise they don’t matter because the teams weren’t trying.
This makes a helluva lotta sense given the Northern Ontario Beaver Pelt’s upset loss against the Miami Cocaine Goldiggers.
I am having such a delightful time comparing this game to the 2012 notre dame Alabama game:
You’ve got an Alabama based school utterly destroying a relatively overrated Indiana based school that thinks gold is an acceptable color.
The difference is notre dame at least had the decency to commit their murder before the game
We could have exact score of Army/Houston
Auburn smells blood in the gravy.
Fun fact: “blood gravy” is what Vampire Andy Reid needs to survive.
True Fact:
I’ve been sitting on an Andy Reid “All You Can Drink” Gravy buffet joke for more than a few weeks now.
Alternative Fact: Gravy is murder
Alternative Alternative Fact: The Smiths feel that that joke isn’t funny funny anymore anymore.
Jesus Christ…just back from a six hour round trip dropping off my sister and her dog.
I need a vacation from Christmas vacation…
EIGHT. TEAM. PLAYOFF.
STOMP STOMP CLAP!
SEC ORGIES ARE THE BEST ORGIES
SIXTEEN. Skip the middle step.
They shouldn’t even be going to class.
hey now, the REAL student athletes in 1-AA has always played 16 teams!
“Just give it to Alabama at the start of the year”
8-team playoff for the Division 1-B champion, who then gets to play Roll Damn Tide?
Most Surprising Stat of the Game:
Gus Ferdiddle, a 54 year-old welder out of Opelika that was picked out of the crowd averaged 6.3 yards per rush on 7 carries.
I think Sandusky went to jail ferdiddle
goddamn, you brought the A-game wood today!
Yea, Eddie Sodomizedmulitpleboyswhilepeoplelookedaway is out with a tight hamstring for Auburn
/then got an unsportsmanlike penno for yelling Git off-a me, nagger!! to the Purdue safety tackling him
When people get all worked up re SEC getting favourable treatment in the playoffs, remember. This is the B1G side that beat tOSU (soundly), while Aubie is like the 4th or 5th best side in the SEC WEST.
I mean, there’s probably like, thousands of Aubie fans with cancer ,, amirite?
No only their trees
#FerCancerTree
God, I hope so.
Auburn 63 Purdue 14: The Cove 2 Boogaloo
Tyler Trent has terminal bone cancer and he’s having like the fifth worst day of anyone in that stadium.
at least “Uncle Jim” and I have this big bag of morphine!
ain’t he MOAR of an Indiana Basin Silt fan?
This is…. completely accurate.
It cannot be overstated how inflated the egos of some purdue fans are
they didn’t even go for 2 ,, smh
Quitters!
ESPN just showed all dozen of Boiler fans still in attendance
Purdue Coach: “Are you guys ready for a comeback?”
Purdue Players: [wipes cum off their back] “Again? Jesus Christ, coach!”
Just turned on the television, checked the score, and turned the TV back off. ‘Tis a glorious slaughter, evidently…
If it’s any consolation the kid with cancer had $5k on Auburn and the over.
I haven’t seen Purdue take it up the ass like this since it came out they were giving hormones to chickens.
Has anyone checked on the Cancer student? If the disease hasn’t done it, this game could.
I’d say I’m going to hell for laughing at this, but, that was already a known fact. Take your +1 you magnificent bastard.
“I could’ve given up 56 points in one half….”
We’ve replaced the Music City Bowl with a snuff film. Let’s see if anyone notices.
Hey, at least WVU won’t have the worst performance today! Right? RIGHT?!
perhaps Purdue was all jelly of the attention JV Yooooooouston got?
I bet Auburn giving the points and Syracuse money line so you should be fine.
Auburn leads Indiana 56-7 at the half, and 21-19 in people who say, “FUCK TRENT RICHARDSON IN THE ASS WITH HOT POKER”
THIS PURDUE GAME I CALL IT NEIL REED BECAUSE IT IS DISPLAYING THE ABUSE OF AN INDIANA COLLEGE ON NATIONAL TV
8/10 thrown chairs. Would bang on the timekeeper’s table.
Sometimes you just gotta sit back on the possession arrow and enjoy.
All of us get raped in the second grade. Most of us go on to better things.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K9q70zCJYBc
/checks comment from a couple hours ago
Yep, apparently I admitted I liked Purdue in this game. As a public service, I reiterate my support for the Orange in the next bowl. Bet on West Virginia to your hearts’ content.
AW BURN!
I feel like the kid who can’t play because I have to study, but in my case it’s because the power is out.
Purdue is playing from behind but I haven’t seen them fondle Auburn’s nipple not even once!
Garth Pillsbury was the headmaster at the English boarding school I didn’t go to. We called him “Dildoberry” because we were quite immature.
Purdue should really start playing soon.
All this misdirection against SEC West speed, Paaaaaawwwwwlllll
I’m willing to wager that none of these gals has ever had sex with a sober male.
I’ll take the other side of that bet.
Yep.
US$100. After talking to any one of them for five minutes you’ll be downing shots of tequila just to numb your brain. Oh I’ve seen this before. This is easy money for me.
“If it ain’t humor according to Brick, it ain’t humor.”
Thanks!
Your thoughts are fairly transparent.
It’s the triumph of the uncluttered mind.
Uncluttered is understatement.
P.S. being jacked on antidepressants ain’t sober
Well, I fixed my primary doctor, so I can get a physical in 2019 instead of get too busy right around that time last year. Let’s see what’s next on the to-do list: Buy teachin’ music? Auuuugh.
hey, did you get that thing I sent ya?
Your primary doctor being neutered is a strange goal to achieve, but huzzah I guess.
Hope everybody got some nice presents too.
OH YEAH GET SOME GET SOME GET SOME
When stuffed animals are just asking for it
Your day in Food Lion Stereotypes – the black gentleman in front of me DID purchase chicken wings. Along with 2 packs of Newports.
I used to take my laundry to a cleaners in Brooklyn that was owned and operated by Chinese immigrants. I would often chastise them for perpetuating such a dated stereotype but dang if they didn’t clean my underpants for cheap and they folded the hell out of ’em too. I don’t think they understood a word I said though.
A perfect example.
I did buy the most practical, simplest car (that I still enjoyed driving), a 2018 dealer loaner Nissan Rogue (with like 3950 miles on it). For as I told my kids, I am a basic bitch.
Why is John Boehner spotting me??
You now have two things Rogue (the other being your autographed book by Sarah Palin).
Ha!!! My kids did me Al Franken’s spoof of her book as a gag gift a few years ago.
/they didn’t get it signed, so they missed an ass grabbin’
Mother Nature is pulling all the tricks out of her handbag-snowstorm last night followed by fog this morning followed by rain now and snow again this afternoon. Tomorrow the temp drops to -19 Celsius. That’s 2 degrees for you Fahrenfuhrers.
No winter here… in fucking Denver.
no snow for Clippers du Merde on Sunday?
also where is MakeItSnowOnDem?
No; Donks won’t show. The typo works.
yeah, if they didn’t show for the Raiders? I told everyone on MNF thread – you’ve all seen a ded team play to fight for their coach’s job…and this was the antithesis of that!
They were for a while.
Have just one disagreement with you today, so bet it: I like Purdon’t this morning. I also like Syracuse because of the qb thing, and agree on Wazzu.
Hooray for football on a weekday!
“What’s a QB thing?”
– Sean McDermott
Aubie might be a bit shit, and Purdue has a REALLY good coach…so I ain’t bet on it. My moneys is solely on Wazzu.
Trust the porn stache qb. Always.
Even if Leach only transfer-recruited him because he played for the Pirates! 😀
https://youtube.com/watch?feature=youtu.be&v=NpAMMTHRJbI
Just get me through this last shitty day and I’ve got a 5 day weekend.
My turn for bacchanalia dammit.
To counter AZ’s cold snap, it started raining here and the temperature shot up 20 degrees. The South is absolute murder on migraine suffering folk.
Lot of black people suffering migraines in Mississippi, no doubt.
getting a barometric pressure migraine is on par with getting all blown up at church ,, ppl forget that!
In other news….. Milkshake Duck!!!!
https://twitter.com/bubbaprog/status/1078448608196870145
Buenos días
Pup n Taco
Aw, now I wanna go there.
Still in Florida but adding it to the list.
You’re a few years too late, unfortunately.
Whose fault is that?
It’s damn cold here today and getting colder through the weekend, according to the news. Though we’re taking blaxito down to the Fiesta Bowl Parade tomorrow morning and it’s going to be biting cold, this weather makes me smile. First because it disproved global warming but, more importantly, because Mike Bidwill is the Grand Marshall of the parade and that means he has to sit his ass up on some white trash mustang convertible for hours freezing while I push a stroller along the parade route screaming at him to move his shitty franchise to L.A.
Throw a dirty diaper and MAKE US PROUD!
hey Alexa, show me “gentlemen’s clubs near Pullman, WA”