This is my weekly outlook as to who will make the playoffs, who won’t, who will win, and who won’t.
As promised, I’m keeping track of what I say week to week so you can call me out on any bullshit you may see. TODAY, I’ll recap and highlight in BOLD any regular season finish predictions I got right. In the next few weeks, I will continue making playoff predictions so you may mock me for my crystal balls being cloudy.
Speaking of, how hot is the Bud Light Crystal Ball Lady?
She’s Oracle Susana and the way she speaks Spanish….yum.
Without further ado, TO THE STANDINGS!
AFC
The Steelers won, but the Ravens barely hung on to beat the Browns and so the Ravens took the division. Truth is that a team that loses games it shouldn’t lose deserves to be watching TV in January. In Spanish, the rough equivalent is, “El que perdona, pierde.”
Blaine Gabbert gabberted all over the TITS’ chances to win in the fourth quarter and just like that, the TITS and Steelers were eliminated and the field was set.
Here is how the teams actually finished:
- Kansas City
- New England
- Houston
- Baltimore
- San Diego
- Indianapolis
Here is the comparison to previous weeks:
| # | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | Actual |
| 1 | KC | KC | KC | KC | KC | KC | KC |
| 2 | NE | NE | NE | NE | NE | NE | NE |
| 3 | PIT | HOU | HOU | HOU | HOU | HOU | HOU |
| 4 | HOU | PIT | PIT | BAL | PIT | BAL | BAL |
| 5 | LAC | LAC | LAC | LAC | LAC | LAC | LAC |
| 6 | BAL | BAL | BAL | PIT | BAL | IND | IND |
It looks like I finally got things completely right at the very end although I did have the top two set from Week 11. I also had the Clippers in the 5 spot since Week 11 and the Texans in the 3 spot since Week 12. Not too bad.
AFC Playoffs
Like U2 said, nothing changes on New Year’s Day:
| 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | Actual | |
| WC1 | PIT>BAL | PIT>LAC | PIT>LAC | PIT>HOU | PIT>LAC | HOU>IND | HOU>IND | |
| WC2 | HOU>LAC | HOU>BAL | HOU>BAL | BAL>LAC | BAL>HOU | BAL>LAC | BAL>LAC | |
| D1 | NE>PIT | NE>HOU | NE>HOU | NE>BAL | NE>PIT | NE>HOU | NE>HOU | |
| D2 | KC>HOU | PIT>KC | KC>PIT | KC>PIT | KC>BAL | KC>BAL | KC>BAL | |
| C | NE>KC | NE>PIT | NE>KC | NE>KC | NE>KC | NE>KC | NE>KC |
NFC
The NFC finished exactly as I’d predicted since Week 14 even though it took a Week 17 Minnesota loss and Philadelphia win to make that happen. Hell, I had the Eagles in the playoffs all the way back in Week 13! I should get some credit for making that call.
Only the flip flop at the #1 seed prevented me from having the entire field in the correct order since Week 13. As it is, I did have the right teams in. What can I say, nobody’s perfect.
Here is how the teams actually finished:
- Saints
- Rams
- Bears
- Cowboys
- Seahawks
- Eagles
Here is the comparison to previous weeks:
| # | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | Actual |
| 1 | LAR | LAR | LAR | NO | NO | NO | NO |
| 2 | NO | NO | NO | LAR | LAR | LAR | LAR |
| 3 | CHI | CHI | CHI | CHI | CHI | CHI | CHI |
| 4 | DAL | DAL | DAL | DAL | DAL | DAL | DAL |
| 5 | CAR | SEA | SEA | SEA | SEA | SEA | SEA |
| 6 | SEA | CAR | PHI | PHI | PHI | PHI | PHI |
NFC Playoffs
Similar to the AFC, I’m sticking with what I’ve been predicting the last two weeks:
| 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | Actual | |
| W1 | SEA>CHI | CHI>CAR | PHI>CHI | CHI>PHI | PHI>CHI | PHI>CHI | PHI>CHI | |
| W2 | CAR>DAL | SEA>DAL | SEA>DAL | DAL>SEA | SEA>DAL | SEA>DAL | SEA>DAL | |
| D1 | SEA>LAR | SEA>LAR | LAR>PHI | CHI>LAR | SEA>LAR | SEA>LAR | SEA>LAR | |
| D2 | NO>CAR | NO>CHI | NO>SEA | NO>DAL | NO>PHI | NO>PHI | NO>PHI | |
| C | NO>SEA | NO>SEA | NO>LAR | NO>CHI | NO>SEA | NO>SEA | NO>SEA |
I still say that the NFC Championship will be the real Super Bowl as the winner will handle New England in The Asshole.
Superb Owl
Saints beat New England.
| 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | Actual |
| NO>NE | NO>NE | NO>NE | NO>NE | NO>NE | NO>NE | NO>NE |
***
Go ahead and tell me I’m stupid! You know you love to!
ahhhhhhh there a fire during the rose bowll parade
its stopped now…..
The only thing I know is that Mike Francesca was praising the Cowboys and Bears after the last games, so those teams are done in round 1.
Sometimes a blind retarded squirrel……
I put 20 bucks on BDN Foles going on a run.
AFC: Should be Kansas City, but I wouldn’t be surprised if Chargers or Colts make a Wild Card Run. I don’t think we’ll have another Super Bowl scare from New England this year, but they like to ruin things for us in January. Baltimore might win in first round, but I don’t see them getting past KC or NE.
NFC: Wide open. With exception of Dallas and Seahawks, an argument can be made for top three teams and Eagles. In the end, Rams have the best chance, but don’t sleep on Bears and Eagles. Bears has shown flashes, and Foles is apparently more comfortable closing it out of the bullpen rather than starting.
My pick. Kansas City over Los Angeles. First to 45 wins.
Donks WOO!!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nny6aUi4lg8
PUZZLE TIME!
It’s been ages, but this one is fun. This image shows the 2019 opponents for every single NFL team all at once. The puzzle is to figure out how it works!
Pick any team. That team plays their division twice, and plays once all teams in the same color, the three other teams in the same column, and the NFC teams in the same row.
BAL: NE-MIA-BUF-NYJ-KC-HOU-LAR-SEA-SF-ARI-PITx2-CLEx2-CINx2 (in English, Baltimore plays all the AFC East, NFC West, the other two AFC teams who finished first, and their division opponents twice.
My problem is it doesn’t show home/away games. There’s a slight difference between KANSAS CITY and @Kansas City.
Nailed it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FB8vPuAYGSY
YES YES YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Call me crazy, but all the Thanksgiving and Christmas gravy has given the HODOR’s great strength. If they get past Houston I don’t see them stopping there.
Really looking forward to seeing the Bears-Eagles line fluctuate all week.