Your “Game Sponsored by Hatey McHaterson” Saturday Night NFL Football Open Thread

I hate the Cowboys. I have for quite some time. Let’s go back to the days before home computers, cell phones and social media. The written word was just beginning to take hold despite what the naysayers were nay saying. A rock applied to the head with varying degrees of force was a good enough means of communication for my grandfather and it’s good enough for me-whatever my name is! Then, as now, oldish white guys decided what was going to be placed before your eyebulbs and as far as football was concerned, they didn’t think they could do any better than the Dallas Cowboys. Little boy me didn’t know what ‘market over-saturation’ was then and still don’t now.

You couldn’t escape. Prime time TV, Sports Illustrated, Sport magazine, Inside Sport magazine-they extolled the countless virtues of a Roger Staubach, a Tom Landry, a Tony Dorsett (until he got a wee bit uppity) or a [insert white player’s name here]. I was able to free myself from the shackles of this form of mind manipulation for the most part. (I sometimes get half a chub when footage of Golden Richards is shown)

I therefore understand the hate/contempt that some have shown for the Seahawks though I don’t partake. To me, Coach Carroll is just another silly millionaire-type coach-guy that lives in a wee bubble of his own making so, whatever. He can loudly chew gum, strut the sidelines and conduct tours of Tower 6 all he likes.

Oh right-the game

Seattle/Dallas:

Gimme Kit Carson and Co. and a late field goal. No more talk of Dallas.

Conduct yourselves accordingly. To what? No idea.

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Spur

Fuck! That was a catch

Horatio Cornblower

Awuzie is garbage.

Horatio Cornblower

Good lord. What a terrible call. And I’m rooting for Dallas.

King Hippo

WOW, Baldwin

fleshwound_NPG

GOOD GOD ALMIGHTY

Mr. Ayo

BALDWIN!!!!

rockingdog

found a funny:

[school of fish]
teacher: we need volunteers for debate club
student: no way, my cousin never returned after taking debate

Unsurprised

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Unsurprised
Horatio Cornblower

My promise to you all is that if Goodell surprises me at my house you will never see him again.

King Hippo

handoff, handoff, handoff, punt?

Sharkbait

Solid formula for success

Viva La Tabula Raza

Brilliant.

Senor Weaselo

Kick the field goal!

Spur

How much did Goodell shakedown the Cowboys fan down for?

Spur

Seabass officially out

rockingdog

man I could really go for a chuuro right now….

Doktor Zymm

You know what? I’m gonna complain about the lag. I got a $5 Amazon credit earlier today from them fucking up my Prime renewal, I may possibly be on some sort of thing resembling a roll

Spur

This might be game here.

Horatio Cornblower

A screen pass on 3rd and 9 from the 4? OUTSTANDING!

Mr. Ayo

What if schottenheimer is calling plays for BOTH teams?!?

Horatio Cornblower

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Doktor Zymm

No one mentions the plus side of living somewhere with a large homeless population. I never have to worry about sorting my recyclables! If I toss them at the gas station, there’s an older asian woman who takes them. If I toss them at my apartment, it’s a bearded dude in an old Hyundai. I won’t give up single use plastic dammit, I’m helping.

Brick Meathook

Put an old mattress in an alley in Los Angeles and it will be gone in an hour.

ballsofsteelandfury

My buddy got rid of half his living room in a half hour.

Doktor Zymm

So much easier than going to Goodwill!

ballsofsteelandfury

I was driving past a Goodwill today and I saw an old lady delivering three surfboards. All I could do was utter a silent Nooooooooooo

Doktor Zymm

BTW, in Chicago people just take the springs for the metal, then set fire to the rest, there’s a lot of alley arson

litre_cola

Can’t keep up Spur, with Decilitre, booze, weed, triad gang war, GAMBLOR etc. Can;t come up with Jimmy Graham once played in Seattle, he played basketball.

Spur

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rockingdog

uggggg soooooo close to a safety

ballsofsteelandfury

I’m looking forward to the inevitable costly fumble.

Horatio Cornblower

Capt. Andrew Luck

@CaptAndrewLuck
3h3 hours ago
My time away from home shall be extended. The unit was victorious over the Texan men. Stupendous! It was a hard fought battle, but our lines held strong. I am so thrilled, my pen trembles as I write. My sidearm and resolve are true. I love you.
— Andrew

Spur

litre passed out?

ballsofsteelandfury

Decilitre probably said, “This game is bullshit. FEED ME!”

Spur

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ballsofsteelandfury

She seems serious.

Horatio Cornblower

You’re gonna dehydrate tWBS if you keep this up.

Spur

Just hurt the Seattle punter it’s for the best.

Sharkbait

Teams are getting better and better at keeping punts out of the endzone.

Brocky

Only took them 98 years!

herodotus450

“That’s our job!”
-Trojan
“Oh, Punts,”

Spur

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Unsurprised

She reminds me of Emma Stone, who I saw in a photo earlier today was a head taller than Kristen Bell as they stood next to each other.

Brocky

Are you making a joke or did i just miss the obvious?

WCS

….and some say WCS’s erection grew three sizes that day.

Brick Meathook

Here’s an iPhone photo of the 4×5″ ground glass of a 1951 Speed Graphic with a 1943 Kodak Aero Ektar 7 ½” reconnaissance barrel lens that opens to f/2.5 and has a depth of field of about a half-inch and has an outrageous bokeh. Top photo I took 20 minutes ago. I got the Sandy Koufax bobblehead on the eponymous night at Dodger Stadium and Rockabilly Skull belonged to my late brother. Lower photo of Xmas light I took last year, also with an iPhone. Bottom photo is Xmas lights shoot.
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Brocky

…….showoff

Brick Meathook

Wait till you see the dick pics. I think I once promised to write a post about that.

Brick Meathook

Notice that all the photos were taken with my phone.

ballsofsteelandfury

Yes, you did. We’re still waiting…

Brick Meathook

Well I guess I’ll have to do it. I’ll propose it on Slack.

herodotus450

F? Stop!

Spur

Dak’s going bald.

Horatio Cornblower

Well now we have two things in common, because I can also bounce the ball 3′ in front of an open receiver.

Horatio Cornblower

Jeff Heath missed a tackle? The hell you say!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

It’s his dad’s fault.

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Brocky

herodotus450

Suzy Kolber vs. Erin Andrews is like the Beatles vs. Elvis of our time.

In that whenever one gets mentioned, I say , “man’ FUCK *insert name* to annoy my friends?

Its elvis BTW. Man, Fuck Elvis

Doktor Zymm

Wait, is it Suzy or Erin who likes teenage virgins?

Brocky

Who knows?

Just,

man,

fuck elvis

Gatoraids

Without Elvis thered be no Bubba HoTep tho
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herodotus450

So you’re a Suzy guy then?

Spur

Hear me our…GMC commercial with the Budweiser Frogs

Viva La Tabula Raza

I hope that the guys that wrote “Na Na Hey Hey (Kiss Him Goodbye)” didn’t get fucked over on royalties and died as millionaires.

Sharkbait
Horatio Cornblower

Skylab didn’t fall to Earth as fast as the Cowboys’ O-line has.

Doktor Zymm

I’m kinda sad I live in the suburbs. I’ve done some pretty awesome stuff by getting drunk and meeting random ass people, and how will that happen if I just drink alone at home? I was reminded because of that boxing commercial, a couple years ago I went to a Golden Gloves event in the Chicago suburbs with a lesbian lawyer I knew, but that’s never going to happen now

herodotus450

I’ve done some pretty awesome stuff by getting drunk and meeting random ass people, and how will that happen if I just drink alone at home?

I think I speak for all of DFO when I say I feel personally attacked.

ballsofsteelandfury

Plus, i’m pretty sure there are lesbian lawyers in the Bay Area.

herodotus450

They don’t call it the Les-Bay-in Area for nothing.

Doktor Zymm

That’s not the important bit of the story, but still probably single digits or less in Fremont. Although there’s some good random shit potential here, but it’s more of the ‘old dude who sells used appliances and has been growing weed in national forest since 1973’ sort of thing

Sharkbait

Fuck GMC. That is all.

fleshwound_NPG

still don’t know why they exist. just a chevy badge away…

Mr. Ayo

Alright. Run, run, pass? Sound good schottenheimer?

Horatio Cornblower

Hmm, too much passing there.

Horatio Cornblower

Joe Buck just said that a guy with 91 yards in the first half has been “bottled up”

herodotus450

He, Joe Buck, noted drinker of beers during a broadcast, was probably talking about hte zero drinks Zeke had.

Spur

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Petronel

DAT ASS

litre_cola

Seattle University is Jesuit like Gonzaga.

Senor Weaselo

Oh good, Joe Buck doing boxing promos.

Gatoraids

JOE BUCK: Welcome to the top of the 47th
[Sun rises]
[Sun keeps getting bigger]
BUCK: yes
[World engulfed by flames]
BUCK: oh god yes
from tweet

Sharkbait
herodotus450

How many Hughes’ are on the US team?

Sharkbait

2 brothers.

Brick Meathook

FUCK THIS COMMERCIAL! THAT TRUCK KILLS ORPHANS!

Unsurprised

This wouldn’t have needed to be an impressive catch if Wilson were better.
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Spur

if the Cowboys were to hurt the Seattle Punter then what? Asking for a friend.

herodotus450

Is Chad Johnson in the building?

litre_cola

Griffin can use… I can’t. Sorry.
Seattle is the main hub for Alaska Airlines, but not in Alaska.

WCS

Cripes, again?!

Sharkbait

2-0 Finland. Not looking good for the US.

fleshwound_NPG

a schottenheimer being stubborn on running the ball?

NEVER

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Ok, I missed the entire second quarter and couldn’t hear all of that. What happened with Seattle’s kicker?

Doktor Zymm

His moon is over his busted hammie

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