First things first-we’ll have a look at some of the fallout (or falldown in Allen Hurns’ case) from yesterday’s action.
According to a certain Mr. Schefter, Hurns has already had surgery on his un-located ankle, which is now relocated. Older white residents at the hospital are worried that Mr. Hurns’ presence will bring down the overall property value of their recovery rooms.
Some fella by the name of Kris Richard (Secondary Coach/Passing Game Coordinator for the Cowboys) will be interviewed by the Dolphins, Jets and Bucs today. Enjoy your ‘hot name’ status, guy that should be spelling his first with a ‘C’ and an ‘H”.
Another coaching candidate is the Colts D boss, Matt Eberflus. His unit finished 10th in points against with 21.6 for the season as a whole but I mathed the last six games, including a loss to the Jags and Indy is tightening the screws down to a ridiculous 13 points per tilt allowed. Given that they’re playing again next weekend I’ll save my joke about his last name till then.
TO THE GAME!
Bolts/Black Birds:
Seems fairly simple to me-the Chargers have to find a way to stop the league’s most effective run game (since Week 11) that manifests itself in the Ravens read option thingy. LAMAR!’s average is 5.5 yards per rush and when he hands off to rb Dixon (7.9) or Gus Edwards (6.4) even more damage is done. I don’t see that happening.
Last time these guys went round the maypole Baltiless forced the Rivers and Co. into 3rd and more than 10 on 66% of their total drives. Combine that with a 44% pressure rate when The Fecund One dropped back to pass and there’s your recipe for failure, if not total disaster. A partial solution might be to involve rb’s Gordon, Ekeler and Jackson in the passing game some more. This unit combined has 6 catches or less in 5 of their last 6 tilts. That won’t cure all ills but it might be a start. All in all, this is Bally’s game to lose, methinks.
Crank up the Mimosa Fountain!
State Farm’s aerial coverage is fine, but their areolae coverage is very disappointing.
Spoiler Alert:
The pun “Badgley of Honor” will be used in the next intro. You’ve been warned.
I’ve been making Vag-ley jokes so carry on
lol weddle
https://twitter.com/soIoucity/status/1082015067229573120
Every so often I remember Sugar Ray has a song called “Rivers” and I play it in my head whenever Rivers makes a pouty face.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bqQ3h_GAxN8
.
“DID YOU CALL ME SUGAR GAY?”
I think one of my brother’s friends called Mark McGrath that when they were in college and Sugar Ray existed.
*To his face. Plenty of smart asses said it everywhere else.
Can’t even outscore Philip Rivers’ fertility. Shame Ravens.
If I’m Flacco and if they put me in down 20 with only half a quarter left, I’m taking the snap and running back towards my own endzone, giving Harbaugh and the coaches the finger as I score the intentional safety.
An extremely petty Jim Harbaugh would then go on to buy controlling share in Uproxx Media Group, completing his long game
84 possession game
Pretty much an infinite possession game at this point.
Can you fire a coach mid game? Harbaugh might get axed if Jackson comes out next series.
I’m happily awaiting the booing in this stadium if Lamar goes out there.
Harbs will do the change him last series of the game look i tried move
Fired, more like lynched by the crowd
“Did someone say lynching?” — half of all NFL owners
/GATES OF HELL FLIES OPEN
Looks like a solid hour of reading time.
DO BETTER, Divisional Weekend
Book?
“The Great War: Breakthroughs”
/alternate history, the USA finally licking the CSA this time out.
You know what really makes this a good game? The Steelers arent playing in it.
Lamar, Flacco and RGIII….that’s a sad QB bench
40 aches and a mule
Why does it seem like the world is cheering for Rivers to get a ring? Has the world forgot who Phillip Rivers is?
Because Rivers populated much of the world?
I’m only going to cheer for Rivers to win next week against NE. If Belichek invaded hell, I would make at least a favorable reference to the Devil.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, watching a playoff team shit the bed and roll around in it is so much fun when its not my team shitting and rolling.
The Ravens’ allegedly top-ranked defence just gave up a first down to a running Phillip Rivers. Get fucked, Ratbirds.
Rivers with the taunt! love it.
Marmalard just scrambled for a first down against your team. Disband.
delete your team
career long rushing attempt
Go back to Cleveland. We can have two Cleveland Browns!
/Harbaugh trying to get a date in high school
“Wanna fuck? No? Okay.”
“Wanna fuck? No? Okay.”
“Wanna fuck? No? Okay.”
“Wanna fuck? No? Okay.”
“Wanna fuck? No? Okay.”
“Wanna fuck? No? Okay.”
“Wanna fuck? No? Okay.”
“What the hell is it with these girls? MY STRATEGY WAS SOUND!”
“There’s a way around that” – D. Sharper
“Harf harf!” — B. Roethlisgberger
that electric wall graphic by cbs even more useless than trump’s fake one
my dick longer than ravens passing offensive output
Mom?
And you were in the pool!
-Brett Farve
ok, read the past comments. It’s Flacco time next series.
Seriously, I enjoy ragging on the guy too, but Flacco is not some so-bad-he-only-plays-if-injury-forces-us-to backup, nor is Jackson a proven stick-with-him-no-matter-what starter.
Folks, you know this game and our tax conversations have in common? THEY’RE BOTH LAFFERS.
Announcer: “For this year’s playoffs, the part of the Cincinnati Bengals will be played by the Baltimore Ravens.”
.
Poor kitty
Like Baltimore fans needed another reason to be racist.
A Whole Foods and Ikea Sunday morning doubleheader was exhausting. i need a nap.
Is this a beat down like the score looks?
It’s a Baltimore Derpdown
Minus 2 yards passing!
Fire everyone
So many sacks. Is this football or a Buddy Cole Christmas Special?
lol six passing yards? SIX?!
negative 2 now!
I feel like I could get more than six
Again, high school offense
Has there been a worse rookie playoff QB performance than this?
Tebow @ NE?
Tebow completed three times the completions and over five times the passing yards.
this is like when the ’86 bears put flutie in at qb in a playoff game
Imagine having Joe Flacco as your best hope to score 17 points in a quarter.
Folks
you dont want this
I really want Flacco to get into the game only to throw a crushing pick-six.
Aw, come on man, you gotta give me time to whip it out before you talk so dirty like that.
some things:
– barrel roll FB TD was indeed a TD, CBS guest ref thought so, game refs didn’t think so
– dive TD was indeed short and no fumble, CBS guest ref thought it was a fumble, refs said down and short
– fuck refs, on tv or not
Okay, the actor who played Chad in that TurboTax commercial was perfect.
fuck the ratbirds (whenever they’re not playing new england)
their ability in Foxboro is 80% of why I rooted for ’em
well-played, Anthony Lynn
…coverage? What coverage?
(I still say the previous play with the rolling catch was a TD)
TOUCHDOWN SEAHAWKS
NOOOOOOOOOO! WHY HAS THE PURITY OF THIS FIELD GOAL FESTIVAL BEEN SULLIED BY A TOUCHDOWN?
Taxing that touchdown at a 62.5% rate as it’s clearly gratuitous.
Was kinda hoping this would remain a base-3 game
This is what Melvin Gordon gets for taking Uber instead of Lyft.
https://www.sbnation.com/lookit/2019/1/6/18170733/melvin-gordon-uber-driver-baltimore-ravens-chargers-nfl-playoffs
I am exhausted.
http://blogfiles.wfmu.org/KF/2014/03/12/raccoon_copter.gif
Harbs can’t believe they ain’t kick
that’s the Middle Path replay decision
That’s the right call, I think.
“There is no right call. There is only Zuul.”
-Zuul
that guest CBS ref didn’t even know the dude was touched on the way to the ground, which EVERYONE ELSE DID KNOW
dumbass refs, all of them