I finish this intro off with 6 minutes left in the Bolts/Dead Birds game. Please Football Deity, let your glorious light shine through in this tilt in the form of touchdowns, great catches, good execution on both sides of the ball, clever play-calling and solid defense. We have been dutiful all the year long and deserve better. Amen.
TO THE GAME!
Brotherly Love/Broad Shoulders:
I hope that neither of the kickers here win the Mike Badgley of Honor Award for their actions today. I mentioned in the autre intro that the Ravens had shut opponents down over the last few games to the tune of 13 per. Dose Bears have done even better over their last four-10 points they’ve surrendered on average. This is a great time of the year to be putting the thumbscrews to hapless miscreants that happen to wander on to the turf. One caveat-Foles has over the last 3 games been number uno in passing yards, completion percentage, yards per attempt and net yards per pass attempt. He’s caught and maintained fire before so who knows how things might play out.*
*one of the ways it’s gonna play out is that the Bears defenders are going to target those bruised ribs and rough him up a little. That’s just what aggressive D’s try to do. Inflict pain.
As for the Truth Biscuit, qb’s seeing their very first playoff action (see: Jackson & Watson) usually need to get a loss under their game cups in order to understand what it takes to come out on top. If he just plays the game-managing game and stands back so that the other talent flourishes he should be okay.
Buckle up-should be a good ‘un.
Ball at the 7?
LOL FOOTBALL IS DUMB
Gonna be a no clear recovery and I’m gonna flip
I noticed the clock kept running and wondered what was up
Dude didn’t play enough Red Rover as a kid. YOU GO DOWN WITH THE ARM
And no, that was not a bad Trubisky throw
still no catch
Gonna be some fuckery now
(James May in background) Clarkson, you pillock!
What a play
that’s good safety-ing
Miller you had one job
Normally it’s to get me drunk.
Some Reidian clock management
You don’t want to give Iggles time on the clock when you have to miss a long FG
BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERGH
dumb run call
dumber penalty
BLEERGH!!
That dog has three cocks!
Translation: “Please eat these chickens instead of me.”
That’s one way to do a bathroom demo…
Seems like a legit way to amuse yourself in Swedish prison
lol robinson moved the spot of the ball forward
That usually doesn’t work!
So that was stupid throw #3.
we’re done! all three with no result!
As long as there isn’t some sort of ‘playoff multiplier’
Hmmm. Must check my “Fumbles & Fieldgoals Player’s Manual”…
the most important part of these Bud Light HURR DURR ads is that the female character never speaks.
She does sometimes, but only to be annoying or sexy
Hmmm. So “dilly dilly” translates to “know your place, woman.” Cool!
Bud Light: Make America Dilly Dilly Again
I’m ashamed the name “Count Pampelmousse” makes me smile.
I keep forgetting about NBC’s dumb green zone thing, and I haven’t been paying close attention, so I keep looking up and thinking “Why’d they only water that one part of the field?”
The Bears’ current offense
how do you FIND this shit?
This just popped onto my Twitter timeline. What’s weird is that it was originally tweeted in 2014 and someone just decided to revive it today.
In a normal game, one might think about using a timeout. In this game, one sighs “one more punt and we can have halftime.”
Smallwood, Littlegrove and Tinyforest walk into a bar
In Hobbitown, I presume?
The fact the Eagles can’t run the ball and seem to only be succeeding on floaters that somehow find an open man, the Bears are in good shape if they can *check notes* run an offense.
Or score on defense. Whatever. Just don’t lose to this Eagles team.
This, but the other team
first side to 5 wins
cubs 5
phillies 3
Robinson was more out of bounds there than sodomy in repressive parts of the bible
As opposed to the fun-loving liberated parts? I mean, I guess if you’re into incest…
F it I’m goin’ deep
This game sucks lol
So far this game is something like 247% better than the games yesterday, and that’s pretty impressive for a game with few points
Neo’d another bullet Trubisky.
So, if this Experian scan tells me that my SSN is on the “Dark Web,” WTF am I supposed to do with that information? Ask noted internet security expert Rudy Guliani?
9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 !!!
Guliani will just tweet something about the ‘Darkie Web’ and how we need mandatory minimum sentences
Your group celebration will be for naught
The best kind of group celebrations!
it should get an unsportsmanlike if the play is overturned
that’s two really really bad throws mitchy has made, his usual quota is three per game
both will have no result, that third one’s commin, tho
Did a shot just because that pass sucked.
Very possible Mitch is not alright
That’ll get overturned but still. Picks for everyone!
Only a week until the Mahershala Ali True Detective season starts.
WOO!! I get to use HBO again
Pitt types have been raving about Maddox being a turnover machine since he started playing. He’s definitely got that Asante Samuel all or nothing ballhawk shit going.
If the same foot went down twice, does that count as one foot or two?
One foot equals no pick.
Goddammit
no pick
Incomplete
the makers and fans of ‘Manifest’ will be super upset when they discover that everyone on Malaysia Fligh 17 is dead
and were better actors too!
PICKERCEPTIONS FOR EVERYONE!
that will be overturned
But in bizarro world that’s the same as turnedover!
YASSSSSSS
MOTHERFUCKER
Ain’t that some shit.
on that pick they left alshon 1v1
Chi**** Offense – There Will Be Handoffs