I finish this intro off with 6 minutes left in the Bolts/Dead Birds game. Please Football Deity, let your glorious light shine through in this tilt in the form of touchdowns, great catches, good execution on both sides of the ball, clever play-calling and solid defense. We have been dutiful all the year long and deserve better. Amen.
TO THE GAME!
Brotherly Love/Broad Shoulders:
I hope that neither of the kickers here win the Mike Badgley of Honor Award for their actions today. I mentioned in the autre intro that the Ravens had shut opponents down over the last few games to the tune of 13 per. Dose Bears have done even better over their last four-10 points they’ve surrendered on average. This is a great time of the year to be putting the thumbscrews to hapless miscreants that happen to wander on to the turf. One caveat-Foles has over the last 3 games been number uno in passing yards, completion percentage, yards per attempt and net yards per pass attempt. He’s caught and maintained fire before so who knows how things might play out.*
*one of the ways it’s gonna play out is that the Bears defenders are going to target those bruised ribs and rough him up a little. That’s just what aggressive D’s try to do. Inflict pain.
As for the Truth Biscuit, qb’s seeing their very first playoff action (see: Jackson & Watson) usually need to get a loss under their game cups in order to understand what it takes to come out on top. If he just plays the game-managing game and stands back so that the other talent flourishes he should be okay.
Buckle up-should be a good ‘un.
BIKKIE BIKKIE BIKKIE, OI OI OI
Sorry Kyle Long, I prefer Kyle Girth
[kicks rock, walks away despondently]
– Kyle Bent
kyle motionintheocean has a sad
Are you proud of yourself for this joke? lol
Going for back-to-back banners?
Gimpy QB cant escape
Hey Nagy stop running on first down every time when it doesn’t fucking work
phenomenal night = less terrible (borderline good) 2nd half
that man survived charles haley
BBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
I want every single one of these royal court Bud Light commercials to go Red Wedding.
How many years has Bud gotten away with “Bud lite, unless you’re gay” for an ad campaign
They know their consumers.
My actor friend used to complain about this Verizon ad campaign because they auditioned people for it, but were planning to use Middleditch the entire time. They only auditioned people to get his price down. It’s kind of like that series of episodes on Louie where he was getting groomed to host the Late Show.
Or like when any black guy is interviewed for a head coaching job.
“But what if the black guy has the lowest price? You hire him, right?” – Mike Brown
“No.”
– Bob McNair
That’s the secret to the masked singer. They’re all replaceable.
Capitalism, baby!
Oh my God the rumored replacement for Thibodeau is Hoiberg LMAO
https://twitter.com/wojespn/status/1082068899275907072
BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
somebody should make a hobo chili out of all the ppls dressed as Ditka
all that hair goo make for one runny, greasy chili
RUN IT BACK TARIK
But that one’s not DPI sure
The PI calls in this game have been uh… inconsistent for sure.
too floaty FOAR flag
Look like hicks was just gonna absorb him like the blob
LOL at Kalil falling into a pushup so he doesn’t get flagged for falling on the QB
Flark!!!!!!!!
So Next Gen Stat does a good job at….counting?
The previous generation was designed by the Watership Down rabbits, so yes, it’s an improvement.
Counting is the First Gen Stat
Is Boston Scott just on the team to make Tiny Darren feel big?
Sounds like one of Simmons’ friends.
Ironically, no chance he ever plays for Patriots
That porn is gonna be GOOOOOD.
It’ll be like when a wrestler walked in on Andre the Giant having sex:
“It was like seeing a bunny rabbit on top of a bear.”
Rumor is the Timberwolves just fired Thibodeau lol
amazed there isnt a player/coach in the nba right now
Lebron is player/gm
What, they didn’t beat the Lakers by enough today?
Still bugs me that refs try to act like kindergarten teachers, rounding up players and trying to separate them and get the ball back. There’s like 4000 balls on the field, just get another one and spot it and ignore the jackass running around after the whistle.
Dear Lord
The beer that make the Bears good again: https://revbrew.com/beer/deep-wood-series/deths-tar
That looks like extremely my shit
They’re like Goose Island in that they release a whole series of beers–their Cafe Deth coffee stout is a favorite of mine–and are almost as good as Bourbon County.
Their Rye on Rye (Rye beer aged in Rye whiskey barrels) was the second best thing I’ve had this winter.
1) Deep Wood series, heh heh
b) 14.8% ABV? CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
&) Sounds delicious (he said, while staring at a fridge full of Michelob Ultra)
Everything I’ve had from them has been fantastic. Also liberated a pint glass from their tasting room last time I was in Chicago
They did a tapping of the Deep Wood beers at a bar by me and their reps were begging me to take their free merch. I got a nice glass out of it.
Gird your loins, folks
15-10 it is, then
Cmon d get a turnover
Just fuck a pie instead.
Hey I don’t tell you what to do with your life, now do i?
Someone should.
True Binski Season 4 looking good
Do we have a game now?
a game…has been made!
I love kissing Td’s!
BISCUITCANNON
Bears? Yes, Bears!
OPI, or stepped out?
Neither!
Erck
This is literally the sound i made when I saw the flag at first
He stepped out, didn’t he?
NEVERMIND THAT’S A FUCKING TOUCHDOWN WOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
seems the Bearistocrats! spent all week practicing spinning the ball
Weird, but that was a really nice play design.
Fuck! If he had just stayed on his feet!!!
Bears vs Eagles feels longer than the actual Cold War
and that’s still going
Nah, Putin won.
oh yea, jordan howard plays for the bears
Who?
Remember when the Bears used to establish the run?
He’s dogshit 80% of the game, then hits THAT toss.
“Ok, on this drive, let’s try to get Taylor Gabriel killed.”
53 Bears: “Ready?…
(said simultaneriously)
52 Bears: “…Break!”
Tyler Gabriel: “…what?”
Now that’s some primo Mitch shit.
Bollo needs another happy shot
Gonna be death by a thousand cuts, but which fanbase will die?
Yes
Ideally? Both.
[nods solemly]
– their cardiologists
No one has bigger hawts than us
It’s weird that I’m wishing for a bubble screen but fuck, run a bubble screen or something.
I’m hoping that Russell Wilson plays with Darren Sproles someday so we can see a nanobubble screen.
Is Trubisky the QB you’d most want to be friends with? The rest all seem like Christian weirdos.
Maybe active…but all time? Namath, obvs.
it’s a VERY short list
Maybe fitzmagic before he had 20 kids
He seems very… normal.
Eh, I don’t have the best experiences hanging with young twenties dudes, they’re not particularly interesting
This is true, I had about as much to offer as a sex doll when I was that age.
Fuck it. I’m cracking a Deth’s Tar.
A little early to turn to heroin.
What is this conservative horseshit?
I’ve been asking that question since 2004. I still don’t have a fucking answer.
First time watching Fox News?