I finish this intro off with 6 minutes left in the Bolts/Dead Birds game. Please Football Deity, let your glorious light shine through in this tilt in the form of touchdowns, great catches, good execution on both sides of the ball, clever play-calling and solid defense. We have been dutiful all the year long and deserve better. Amen.
TO THE GAME!
Brotherly Love/Broad Shoulders:
I hope that neither of the kickers here win the Mike Badgley of Honor Award for their actions today. I mentioned in the autre intro that the Ravens had shut opponents down over the last few games to the tune of 13 per. Dose Bears have done even better over their last four-10 points they’ve surrendered on average. This is a great time of the year to be putting the thumbscrews to hapless miscreants that happen to wander on to the turf. One caveat-Foles has over the last 3 games been number uno in passing yards, completion percentage, yards per attempt and net yards per pass attempt. He’s caught and maintained fire before so who knows how things might play out.*
*one of the ways it’s gonna play out is that the Bears defenders are going to target those bruised ribs and rough him up a little. That’s just what aggressive D’s try to do. Inflict pain.
As for the Truth Biscuit, qb’s seeing their very first playoff action (see: Jackson & Watson) usually need to get a loss under their game cups in order to understand what it takes to come out on top. If he just plays the game-managing game and stands back so that the other talent flourishes he should be okay.
Buckle up-should be a good ‘un.
If the bears recovered that and ran it back wouldnt it have been 2 for Chicago?
YUPPPPPP
It would have been. Atlanta lost a game to the Chiefs on a pick-2 in a similar situation (up by one, trying to go up by three)
Yes, which is why I yelped when the ball came out.
Repeat Third Down
NO
oh god terror
Booooooooooo
Beaten by Golden Goddamned Taint
I’d like to see a pick-2 here. That would be funny.
Damn, it’s too bad the Bears didn’t pick it up and run it all the way back.
Da Bears?
Agent: “So what is a football team like that called?”
I can feel my heart again. That’s a good sign.
Dmn it
WELL FUCK THIS
HOLD UP WAIT A MINUTE YALL THOUGHT I WAS FINISHED
– Gratliff, upon being served the limp biscuit
Golden Goddamned Taint
By the reaction here, I guess they go for it? Or call a timeout? WAS!?
Telegram for Dok: I hope this missive finds you well. The children are old enough to plow a field. The Eagles just scored a touchdown.
/The periods are read as “STOP” ?
Al Michaels is right; that was garbage clock management.
Lurie looks like he’s going to run off to Burma
You’ve gotta be shitting me! Why do you call timeout there?!
OH MY GOD REIDIAN TIMEOUTS FOR ERRBODY
HHDJSKKXKSJF k
OH MY GOD I CAN’T HANDLE THIS
QB draw
Maybe it’s Crazy, but is it CRAZY? Or CrayZY?
EEEK
oh jesus fuck here it comes
– Mary Magdalene, surprised late one night by a drunk savior
And this is why you don’t get cute at the goalline. You just score the touchdown!
Let’s run a play in the vicinity of Khalil Mack.
Let’s do it again!
Wait…isn’t he on the Raid-
/gets murdered by RTD
Foles gives to Sproles who can find no holes damning Philly fans’ souls.
Mr. T pities those fools.
Which Reid protege will fuck up clock management most? STAY TUNED!
I don’t know….am I rooting for narrative, or the narrative that busts the narrative?
Be careful if foles doesn’t pull that thing out on ya
We know, we know
*breathing intensifies*
Ahahaha this fuckin sucks
To the pain
I think that was yesterday
Whatever you got in your fucking bags of trick needs to be pulled fucking now, Doug
It’s bad that I’m betting everything on the Eagles fucking up, right?
Its a safe bet, at least.
At least Chi**** will still have time to go down and….I can’t even finish the sentence.
Hoo baby. I did miss this feeling. Fucking playoffs, am I right, folks?
Only because you know how this one is gonna end.
The reason I’m a Xennial is because I know that ‘Who Killed JR?’ is a thing, but I have no idea who killed JR, but I’m reasonably certain that Simpsons ep was based on that
Nobody killed JR
Based on my age, I guess I’d be an Xennial too but I don’t really want to have anything to do with either generation.
I know whoever shot JR was being controlled by MKUltra in conjunction with the Rand Corporation.
But we’ll never know for sure because Jack Ruby killed him.
It was Doctor Bellows.
After he retires, Zack Ertz needs to open a donut shop.
(plus, he can get an endorsement deal from Microsoft)
Anybody can be a business owner. All you need is Microsoft, hard work, and millions of dollars with lifetime health insurance from your NFL contract
Pick that shit
Aha they’re gonna get the winning TD here and I’m gonna throw a chair out the window
TWO TIGHT END SET MURDER OF A NON HERNANDEZ KIND
Oh! Hey ICRM, go get a pic of the Art Institute lions with the Bears helmets on!
the Bearistocrats! are gonna suck and fuck this one away
Like everyone else in America, I’ve had enough of Dallas
“You’re telling me!” — Debbie
FUCKING WRAP HIM UP
– every woman that Trump’s paid to have sex with
DALLAS!
BEPR DOWN
https://twitter.com/fleshwound_NPG/status/1082070902316167170
Motion detector office lights are a bitch
GO CHICAGO BEPRS
A little too much chatter in the BFC household about the game’s possible interference with the golden globes….
Don’t worry. Trubisky can’t wait to get home to some Golden Globes
Look, I’m not saying you SHOULD hit her if she don’t shut up…
Gild your balls and you got their Golden Globes RIGHT THERE